Title: HDTH, Numeral 3: Chinks in the Armor

Author: FraidyCat

Chapter 7: "Should I Stay or Should I Go, Now?"

By the time Charlie got back from the longest hot shower of his life, immensely grateful that the private campground had much nicer facilities than most state or county parks, he found his father throwing things haphazardly into the back of the SUV. Don was standing over the fire, sullen.

Charlie sat at the picnic table and put his hand on top of the last cooler before Alan could grab it. "What's going on?"

Alan turned at his voice and surveyed him silently. Don kicked at the fire grate. "Dad wants to leave," he informed his brother.

Charlie stood up again, distraught. "What? No, Dad, it was my fault. This is why I brought so many clothes," he tried to joke. When it didn't fly, he walked toward the SUV. "Dad, I'm fine. I don't want to leave, really."

Alan was still incredibly angry, and he rested his hands at his wasit. "Charlie, that woman should be in jail. Besides, we don't even have three fishing poles, anymore. We'll do something else, maybe drive up the coast and stay wherever we find vacancies." He frowned and turned back to the SUV. "I never should have suggested this anyway. Selfish. Should've been enough for me that you boys even wanted to spend time together as a family." He was muttering to himself as he struggled with the cooler he had already brought to the vehicle, but Don and Charlie had no trouble hearing him in the quiet campground.

Charlie stood between Alan and Don. He glanced at his brother and got an almost imperceptible nod. He looked at Alan's back. "No, Dad, fishing was a good idea. I love camping, you know that. I've…been fishing before…"

Alan pivoted, eyebrows raised. "Been awhile, apparently."

Charlie sighed, and continued to try and talk his Dad into staying. "Look, I don't mind not fishing, you two can use the poles." He looked a little embarrassed and dropped his gaze to his feet. "As soon as I felt that fish fighting the line this morning, I just panicked. It…brought back too much, Dad. I just don't have the heart for it, anymore." He tried to smile, looking back up. "I don't object to you guys enjoying yourselves, though, really. I even promise to eat whatever you bring back. Within reason."

Alan sagged until he was sitting in the open cargo area of the SUV. His anger still simmered, but now he felt even worse for ever suggesting this activity in the first place. Not only was it selfish because fishing was one of his favorite past-times, and not theirs; it was selfish because he had never even considered that it was the sort of thing Charlie in particular might have some issues with, now. "Son, I'm sorry. I should have thought. This is all the more reason we should leave."

Charlie advanced a few feet and sat next to him on the edge of the cargo area. He rubbed his hands nervously over his thighs. "But Dad, it's so beautiful here. There's more than fishing. I'm sure I could find some maps, or Lou could recommend someone to guide me…I'd love to do some hiking while we're here." He gazed at the mountains that seemed to surround them on every side. "I brought my boots. Just in case."

Alan shook his head. "You go one way and Don and I go the other? What kind of family vacation is that?"

Don had been studying Charlie and decided to come down on his side. If his brother was willing to face the coffee pot on the campfire and confront any number of other demons, then he should be surrounded by his family, in a place that brought him peace, while he did it. "You're just thinking of day hikes, right Charlie? You'll still be here with us in the late afternoon and evening."

Charlie flashed him a relieved look and nodded. "Right. Of course." He looked back at Alan. "I didn't bring my computer, honest, Dad – but I did bring the new digital camera. Look at this place. If I went hiking, I could get some incredible shots. Plus, some days I might go along with you, and just not fish. I stopped at the Jameson's campsite on the way back from my shower, and he's fairly certain Lou won't come near any of us again, or put us in her personal boat, either!"

Don weighed in again. "Besides, Dad, it's the middle of July. Do you really think we'd find very many vacancies anywhere on the road? Campgrounds, motels, anything?"

Alan felt himself weakening. He looked down and mumbled into his shirt. "I hate that woman."

Charlie laughed, and started coughing again. Still, he managed to strangle out a "Good. Was worried, for awhile."

Alan thumped him on the back. "You shouldn't be outdoors after that dunking. You probably need to see a doctor." He didn't hold out much hope for his next tactic, but he tried anyway. "This counts as an emergency. You can use the phone and call Debbie. She'll tell you to go straight to the nearest ER and then come right home." At least, Alan hoped she would.

His voice, and lack of conviction, had betrayed him. Charlie blinked at him a few times, looked at Don and then returned his gaze to Alan. "You don't like her much, do you?", he asked sadly.

Alan started to protest, but found he didn't have the energy. "It's…it's not that I dislike her," he finally admitted. "I honestly don't know her that well. She's a little hard to get to know, don't you think?"

Charlie looked genuinely confused. "Really? You think that?" He looked at Don. "You, too?"

Don shrugged. "Maybe a little. But it could be me. I've been sort-of busy myself, lately."

Alan smiled, thinking of Colleen, and felt Charlie sigh beside him. He regarded his son's sad face and hastened to reassure him. "Charlie, you're your own man. You should be with Debbie, if she's who you want. I promise to stick it out until I've won her over!"

Charlie didn't look at either of them. "I guess…I…what I like, what's such a…relief…is that she didn't know me, before. You know. Before Martinez. She has no memories of me as a different person, she's never disappointed, or waiting for me to get better. I don't feel any pressure from her."

Don stopped kicking the fire grill. He stared at Charlie and spoke softly. "Buddy…have we made you feel those things? You have to know, we could never be disappointed in you! And pressure? All you should be picking up from me is pride!"

Charlie just reddened, having revealed more than he intended, and Alan stood stiffly and reached back into the cargo area for the sleeping bag he had thrown there earlier. On the way he kissed Charlie's wet head. Pulling at the bag, he grumbled a little. "I don't remember fishing taking this much out of me when I was a younger man. Got to get to bed even earlier, tonight. Charlie, go sit by the fire. You're still cold."

Charlie stood, turned and extricated the sleeping bag, which he threw at an unsuspecting Don – who nonetheless caught it, frowning. Charlie grabbed one handle of the cooler Alan had wrenched into the SUV. He grinned at his father. "If you help, I'm sure we can do this together."

Alan smiled at him warmly, and hoped Charlie understood the layered promises when he grabbed the other end and responded. "Of course we can, son. We can do anything, together."