Chapter 5: Tentative Memories

The winter air was crisp and forced its way in every house. Smoke billowed from every chimney into the overcast sky. It was colder than past years in Volterra. The night before snowflakes fell gracefully down to the ground. Today the snowflakes had stayed and the entire region was covered with half a foot of powdery snow. What wasn't covered with snow had formed splotches of ice on its surface. Alec's own window was covered with frost giving everything he saw a dreamy haze. He relished the halcyon sight from his bedroom. First snowfalls were always a welcome sight to him because the castle was undisturbed and quiet, though it wouldn't be for long.

He forced himself to get dressed at the thought of someone barging in on his divested state. Lately it seemed that people were losing their manners and came into his room without knocking or announcing their presence. Having Jane appear in his room was something he expected regularly. Seeing even Elezear intrude was completely unexpected. It seemed that every higher guard member materialized in his room at least once these past few days.

Except Calandra.

She had kept herself scarce from Jane, which Alec was extremely thankful for. Though it meant he rarely saw her since he kept most of his company with his sister.

He distracted himself from his thoughts trying to find where his waistcoat was. Even with the Volturi's wealth, he didn't have many clothes that he actually wore, but over the centuries they piled up. Every closet and dresser here were jungles. During one of his trips to help Marcus and Caius deal with a barfing Aro, he had seen Caius flinging old togas out onto the ground to cover the mess.

Alec rummaged through his own dresser looking for a clean waistcoat. Unlike the begrimed humans he actually liked his clothes clean and sanitary.

The defining feel of wool alerted him on finding his waistcoat. He pulled the ivory waist coat out of the sea of clothes. As he slipped it on he heard something hard fall on the ground.

"Felix. What did you do now?"

He expected whatever had fallen was another one of his bothersome gags. Instead Alec picked up a necklace. It had a gold chain and featured a ruby. The ruby was delicately cut into petals creating a rose. It was no bigger than his pinky.

Where had this come from? Had it always been there? Jane would have never played around with this little bauble. He let it roll around in his hand. It would be a shame to just throw it away. He could give it to someone. Heidi would like little things like this, but she would get the wrong idea as she always did. Every other female member he could think of was not interested or was mated to someone who would mind the gift.

The fate of the necklace seemed destined for the trash.

Alec stuffed it in his pocket and walked out of his room. He was not going to take the chance of somebody else finding it in his room and misinterpreting its existence.

Alec made his way quickly outside. The garden seemed like the most logical place to dispose of it. Either burying it for the gardener to stumble upon or tossing it over the high surrounding walls into the outside world would do.

As he walked into the open corridor that bordered the garden he noticed Calandra toddling through the snow trying her hardest to keep her balance. It must have been frustrating for her, an experienced soul trying to control her suddenly uncoordinated body. She made it successfully over the smaller bank but started to seriously lose her balance on a large icier bank.

She closed her eyes bracing her body for the impact. Alec feeling nicer today grabbed her by her shoulder stopping her from falling. Her red cap fell off landing in a wet puddle of snow. Calandra remained calm but she looked at the dirtied cap with a very mild sense of horror.

Alec helped her up and snatched the cap from the puddle.

"What are you doing out here? Didn't Caius make it clear to you were not allowed outside without a chaperone?" he asked. Calandra started her clumsy trek over the snow again.

"Today's an exception." She bent down pawing at the earth. The brown dirt buried below the snow was empty of grass and flowers. Usually this garden was filled with plants and the trees covered with leaves. The cold weather had done a very good job of stripping the garden clean. Even the sturdy cypresses were looking a bit sad against the high castle wall. Calandra moved on searching the ground for something. Alec followed figuring that he had nothing more interesting to do.

"Why?" He implored. Calandra brushed her atramentous hair out of her face. In the three months that she had been here it had grown longer.

"Why do you ask so many questions?" she said it so calmly that he didn't realize that she had snapped at him. "It's a gift from Athenodora for my birthday. Well it was more of a reward for a favor. I could go outside the castle for today but that would require a chaperone."

"Your birthday?"

"Yes. The cap was a gift from Marcus. I probably should take better care of my things." Just as she said it she bumped into the side of the fountain that stood in the garden. Stepping back and going around, her small hands traced the carvings of fish in the fountain's side. "Do snowdrops grow here?" She asked lethargically.

"Not on the grounds." She looked slightly disappointed hearing this, but she perked herself up.

"At least they do grow here; there used to be a lot near my home." She looked up at the tree they stopped under. The barren branches were covered with snow and drooped with the weight. Her distant eyes traveled down the trunk to pieces of bark that had curled.

"What do you want them for?" Alec asked.

"A birthday gift," she said simply. Large pieces of tree bark came off revealing the smooth trunk. Calandra continued peeling off the bark till a fist sized piece of trunk was exposed. Alec watched her silently. She was being polite to engage in his conversation but he could tell she would be more comfortable talking if Demetri were here instead of him.

"You're getting a birthday gift for yourself?" He was slightly appalled by her self-centered statement. Calandra moved on sensing his disgust.

"It's not for me it's for my siblings."

"Oh." It was all that he could say. By now they had to have already passed away. It must have been sad for her to know that they were alive after she had been changed. If she had as close of a relationship with her siblings as he did with Jane it would have been heartbreaking. Life without Jane? Alec could not imagine how lost he would be. Calandra watched him knowingly and added "I was a triplet. Fraternal. I had a brother and a sister. My sister went away to a fantastical land before she was born. That's what my mother said. My brother he-"She paused as if someone else was talking to her. "He passed away with my mother before I was turned." Her voice had turned quiet and uncomfortable at the mention of his death. "Snowdrops are my sister's favorite flower."

Alec found this statement unusual. He assumed, when her mother had told her that her sister went to a magical land, that she was a stillborn. How could she know what a stillborn sibling liked?

"I'm sorry it slipped out," Calandra muttered under her breath.

What? This little child was insane. He had heard her talking to herself before but he put it up to being a silly kid. Now it seemed that her statement was not directed toward him or herself.

Alec began to leave not wanting to exchange anymore conversation. Not realizing it he glanced back. Regret filled him. If he hadn't looked back he could have gone on with his life half bored but at least undisturbed.

Calandra stood where he had left her. An immortal child dressed in black standing in the middle of a snow laden garden. The cold breeze moved her hair gently in front of her face. Her hands cupped together holding empty space. It was that forlorn look that she gave her empty hands that caused him to turn back. She looked up at him hiding her disappointment deep in her heart.

"You only have a few hours before you should be back inside. Let's hurry." Alec pushed her inside. He had to walk slower than he usually did due to her truncated strides. Cecilia looked up in surprise of seeing the two enter her domain together. Cecilia presided over the waiting room. Really it was just a large rectangular room with vaulted ceilings. Marble columns held up the lower ceiling sides. Usually the marble room would be filled with a diversity of vampires and sunlight would shine through but the overcast sky compelled many to enjoy the brief time of day. Alec nodded to Cecilia and led Calandra up the grand stairs out into the city. He flipped on his cloak and motioned Calandra to closely follow him.

The town of Volterra was bustling with activity. People brushed past them rushing to their next job. Children played out in the street almost being hit by reckless carriage drivers. The smell of human sweat and pungent perfumes covered the town. Not being able to stand the odor anymore he quickly turned down an alleyway. It still stank like human sweat but the odor was much less pronounced.

With no one around, they were able to jump easily to the bottom of the alley's steps. They entered on another busy street but with fewer houses and more businesses. Alec squeezed his way through the crowd vigilantly avoiding contact with his bare hands against any human.

When they finally escaped the crowd, he felt a small hand clamp down on his. Calandra was squeezing his hand with all her might. A small pinching pain forced him to try and shake off her hand. That's when he noticed. Calandra's eyes were not their usual green. Instead her irises were a hungry black. Now that he thought of it she had not been in the throne room when Heidi brought their meals. She must have been living off of human food this whole time.

Alec guided her away from people and hoped that she would hold on till he got her to their destination. A few more turns, and they came to a small hill where houses had been built into its side. The hill was covered with snow like the rest of Volterra, but there was much less in this neighborhood only a few centimeters deep. Calandra, who was extremely tired looking by now, bounded through the snow in a sluggish delight. The snow was powdery and spurted up like confetti with every step she took.

Where the snow had not covered white little flowers bloomed. Their tender green leaves popped up against the white background. Alec ensconced onto a rock that rose out of the sea of white and green.

Calandra picked the flowers with care making sure they were not damaged. She seemed to really care about her deceased siblings.

He had passed judgment on her and decided not to associate with her much after the incident. But… but it was getting harder to hate her. She was not only calm under all those instincts she was also compassionate toward those close to her. A second redeeming quality.

If she was no longer an immortal child and could no longer provoke parental instincts in vampires, Alec would no longer be weakened to help or be kind to her. And maybe if she grew up out of her destructive phase they could be friendlier toward each other.

The fact that she was not feeding on blood for such a long time was the most obvious culprit for her mood swings. Alec remembered how Aro had starved past guard members to try and quickly develop their powers. This case though looked like it was going to take a long time. Close to a millennium of time to develop it and Calandra could only use her abilities on herself. One of them didn't even respond to her own conscious pleas. It only sought self-preservation. Her humanification was barely under control due to habit that was drilled into her when she had to have been a newborn. Felix talked about it sometimes after he was asked about his daily scuffles with her. She consistently lost to him. Though winning against her didn't inflate his head has much as his usual matches against newborns. Calandra may have taken him down the first time but without the power of being underestimated she was easy for Felix to take down. It looked dismal for her in the strength category when she would age out of her immortal child powers.

Five resounding bongs signaled that they only had an hour left. Calandra had come over early with her finished bouquet of snowdrops. Her eyelids struggled so hard to stay awake Alec decided to let her fall asleep.

Alec got up and went over to Calandra where she was hidden in the snow. While she slept her hair had again gotten in the way. He reached down and brushed her bangs behind her ears. His hand froze still cupping her cheek. It was unusual to feel a vampire's heartbeat. Hers was slower than a human's and once in awhile it would skip a beat. Alec let his thumb move along her soft skin. He carefully pulled out the necklace from earlier deciding that this would be an appropriate way to dispose of it. It slipped on easily over her head.

"Don't go…' the words escaped Calandra's mouth in a whisper. Alec pulled back his hands in the air like a robber that was caught. What the fuck was he doing? He paced back and forth trying to knock some sense into himself.

She may have been close to a millennium old but she was physically five. It didn't matter even if she was born three millenniums before him he was physically Seventeen. Age might just be a number but a seventeen year-old holding a five year-old face like that was wrong.

"-Daniel." She whispered turning onto her side.

Again what the fuck was he thinking? She was sleep talking about her brother most likely... It was official he was a pedophile. It was just wrong in general to do that to any five year olds.

Composing himself he walked back over and lightly kicked her leg and continued walking. He heard her scramble up after him. In his peripheral, he saw Calandra half awake and her whole entire left side soaked from the snow. The voice in his head screamed pedophile. This time he didn't slow down for her to catch up with him. Unfortunately she was able to keep up with him by running.

His stomach clenched seeing her notice the new necklace around her neck. She looked at it for a second but then stuffed it in dress determined to keep pace with him. Some relief filled him that she did not question its existence yet.

Alec flew down the grand stairs skipping numerous steps. Instead of Cecelia greeting them, an unhappy Caius sat in her chair. Athenodora sat on the table with a regal posture. Her fair hair was tied back showcasing her high cheek bones. When Athenodora was still part of the guard, she had a very commanding presence that even Jane could not rebel against. Now after being stuck in the tower for her safety, she was a wisp of who she was. She looked like she could be broken from a light breeze.

"Calandra, can you please lend us some of your wisdom?" she asked Calandra sweetly. Alec stopped awkwardly at the bottom of the stairs. Athenodora did not wait for Calandra to reply.

"My dear husband is under the impression that Domenico Scarlatti is a better composer than his father Alessandro. Could please enlighten us on who is the more exceptional composer?"

Awkward.

Alec started to leave hoping to escape the uncomfortable feeling in the room.

"Oh, Alec, why don't you stay and join this lovely conversation?" Caius said sarcastically. If Caius was not getting out of this he was not going to let Alec escape.

"Alessandro," Calandra said going with Athenodora's opinion. Athenodora triumphantly announced "See Caius I was right."

"Only because you paid her off," Caius mumbled looking away from her.

"Don't be like that dear." Athenodora kissed him. What started as a simple kiss, turned into a passionate make out. Alec tried to guide Calandra away from the growingly inappropriate situation but his hand just hit empty air. Tiny pools of water were left where she had been. She had already taken the hint and left. Alec took his leave. He couldn't help feel a bit sorry for Cecelia. She probably had little to no idea what had happened on that desk so many times before.

()()()()()()()()()()

Calandra dunked her head under the warm water, letting it wash away the layer of grime and sweat that covered her. Digging around outside had made her dirtier than she thought. She resurfaced and leaned back relaxing in the tub. Today also made her quite aware of what situation she was in. She was no longer irritated and as short-tempered like before and was now feeling extremely torpid. What was worse was, knowing that she would no longer have the strength to turn human and sleep off the hunger or eat more to keep her alive.

Just one drop.

One drop of that delicious claret was all she needed to be rejuvenated. She felt venom build up in her mouth as she thought of the taste of her last victim. It had been so long. Aro had always rushed her into the tower to make sure that no one came in while the wives and everyone else fed.

Liar.

Aro had plans for her; she was smart enough to see that. What exactly was he going for by starving her? If it was to make her feel absolutely shitty, he was doing a damn good job of it.

Calandra what did we say about your language, besides you're not that far gone if you're still that irritable.

The voices! The girl's high-pitched, always optimistic voice brought comfort to her.

Cassandra would you shut up! The pessimistic boy's voice barked. Calandra smiled lovingly at hearing their fights start up again. She curled up and rested her head on her arms. Hopefully their fight would be over before her fingers wrinkled.

She dunked her head under water again this time opening her eyes. Water, when she was swimming in it, was fine with her. From the vague fragments of her vampire memory, she could remember the useless memories of swimming in lakes and rivers.

She remembered, her first time swimming in a lake, how the light was distorted giving the water and ethereal glow. The lake water was extremely cold and when she first jumped in, it felt like long thread like needles were slicing through her. It was in January and some ice still floated on the surface. Calandra went down so deep the light grew scarce.

"Calandra." The water muffled the person calling her, voice. She pushed off the muddy lakebed heading back to the surface. Her long arms reached forward toward the light pushing away the scum and ice chips. She made her way toward the bank till her feet touched the ground. Breaking the surface of the water, Calandra brushed back her long inky hair twisting it out of the way while slinking through the water to where she last put her clothes. Her hand pawed around on the rock but there were no clothes to be found not even her chemise.

"Hélie? Did you steal my clothes?" she asked jokingly. She peered around the rock directing her question to the cream colored gelding on the bank. Its ears flicked in response to its name being called but otherwise the gelding continued to graze. Calandra listened for Felicity figuring she was the culprit.

She jolted down into the water. A man was nearby. His scent and surreptitious footfall was foreign to her. He popped out of the brush, holding her over-frock, like he was looking for something.

She was not able to hide in the shadows and he spotted her immediately.

"I was wondering who would leave such a perfectly good horse alone in the woods. When I found your clothes I was worried that some footpads had taken a poor girl's life," he said rather chipper.

Calandra wanted to flee to anywhere but where this man was. Unfortunately, he had her clothes and would probably take her horse. She worked too hard and long in the fields to save the money for Hélie.

She tentatively outstretched her arm. Misinterpreting the gesture, he grasped her hand gently about to help her out. Flustered Calandra spat out "My clothes not your help."

"Oh, I'm sorry for embarrassing you," he handed her, her over-frock. It took him a minute of standing awkwardly at the bank before realizing she wanted privacy.

"I'll go get my horse," he told her, flashing a quirky smile.

When he left, Calandra quickly got dressed and sloppily tied back her hair. She untied Hélie and mounted him hoping to rid herself of the stranger. They barely started their trot when the man came alongside her on a black horse.

"Sorry to do that to you," He apologized. Calandra continued to look ahead unsure to say anything. Instead of acting like most normal people, he continued to talk. "Do you live around here?"

She nodded in reply. His smile seemed to be his natural default expression as it never seemed to leave his face.

"You don't talk very much do you?" Calandra shrunk in surprise as his hand brushed her shoulder. This man was too familiar with her and it was very unsettling.

He brushed off her reaction and continued talking. "It's a nice day today. I can see why you would be enjoying the lake. How did you learn how to swim?"

"I taught myself," she answered. The forest trickled away and soon wheat fields surrounded them. Workers looked up for a glance at the two before returning to the familiar ground. Some of the older workers crinkled their faces, adding more wrinkles to the crumpled paper of their skin, seeing a girl of seventeen and a boy foreign to them riding together unsupervised.

Calandra lowered her head away from them to avoid their judging stares. She kicked Hélie gingerly, speeding up the pace.

Felicity would scold her for drawing too much attention.

Now almost galloping, the dust on the road kicked up and rolled over its self-cascading back down to the ground. He followed her pace keeping next to her.

The willow trees gladly hid them in their long green hair, as the two passed by, and whispered to their companions, their laughs creaky and old. Some leaned in trying to hear the conversation, relaying the words back to the heralds who squawked and tweeted to the rest of the world.

Just as sweetly as the heralds sang, the man talked to her with his amiable words. They wove their way in such a certain fashion that she no longer felt uncomfortable and opened like a flower to the sun.

She forgave his misstep earlier and threw away her quick and decisive judgments of his character.

"My name is…" His name was drowned out by the loud and boisterous whinny of Hélie with the sound of Brom pounding away at his stain glass frames in the background.

Never had Calandra been so disheartened at the sight of Felicity's homely abode. The ride felt too short. Regret tormented her pulling at her heart. She had caused their early arrival by her reluctance to be associated with the stranger.

The stranger didn't recognize her abrupt change back into her doubting and reserved self. But he also looked equally disappointed by seeing her recognition of the cottage.

She brought Hélie to a stop in front of the stable. Brom could still be heard pounding at the metal, a very good sign that he was entirely immersed in his work.

Calandra opened her mouth unsure of what to say but the man filled in her silence with polite words. "It was pleasant talking to you."

Even though these words were carefully chosen not to show favor, his eyes betrayed the real meaning in his heart. He bowed as properly as he could on his horse and began trotting off.

"Goodbye Calandra." He whispered to her before he disappeared back in the hair of the gossiping willows.

She sat their stunned by this remarkable man.

It did not bother her as much that he knew her name even though she had not disclosed it to him.

Now the real task at hand was, skirting by Brom's watchful eye.

Calandra slid off of Hélie and guided the horse into the stable yard. She hid on the other side of her horse, his broad neck covering her face effectively from Brom's perspective.

Another whinny escaped Hélie as he saw his stable mate Nannette, the ewe, dutifully keeping watch over the yard.

Brom's pounding stopped and she could feel him watch her pass by him. She pretend to be fully engrossed in getting Hélie cleaned up. She picked up the brush and started cleaning him but stopped when she had to go to the other side. In her current state she would not be able to look at Brom, so she dropped the brush and started plaiting the horse's creamy mane.

"Girlie you know that a horse has two sides not one." Brom's deep voice informed her. Calandra peeked over seeing Brom.

He looked at her with an all-knowing look sitting by his forge. His skin was almost as ruddy as those in the fields. Black curly hair and frizzy beard gave him a wizened look and his blue eyes reinforced it. He turned back to his metal frame that was now finished. Calandra came around with her head hanging low and stood in front of Brom still at a safe distance from where is forge lay under the lean-to.

"Bring over the cobalt," he instructed. Calandra followed her orders and rummaged through the shelves of powders in the shack adjacent to the forge

She still readied herself for the onslaught of his inquiries. Who was that man? Why were you talking to him? Do you even know how close you were to exposing your real identity? You're not in love with him are you? Don't even think of it, you're already in enough trouble, don't attract any more attention.

Her mind was so muddled she must have passed over the cobalt millions of times.

She clasped the bottle tight this time and came back to Brom. He took it silently and started mixing the silver powder with the glass.

When the sun began to set, Felicity's voice called out for them from the cottage.

Calandra almost dropped the little piglet that she had finally wrestled into her arms. She had been extremely sluggish with her chores, which seemed more tedious, today. Only half of the piglets had been inspected for sickness, and Nannette was in a desperate need for a cut with the recently warmer weather. There were just too many things to do.

"You can finish your work later. It's time to eat." Felicity's voice called again. The piglet squealed and started its struggle again knowing that it would most likely get away this time. Calandra dropped it without much care if the little noisy thing died from the fall. There was enough mud to cushion the fall anyway. Plus it was not like they sold for anything substantial at the market. One dead just meant a bigger meal for the three of them, though she would not hear the end of it from felicity.

It ran back to its siblings in a gleeful state snorting triumphantly.

"Sppst," she hissed and snapped her fingers at it grabbing its attention," I would watch yourself, that gate doesn't always lock itself properly. It would be a shame if a wolf or a fox were to slit your precious little neck." The pig understanding her tone of voice squeezed its way under its siblings trying to hide.

Calandra passed by Brom who was still at his forge taking his time to make sure the glass piece turned out perfect. She almost ran inside hoping to beat him in and be done with her meal before he came to eat.

She entered the cottage ducking low to avoid the herbs that hung from the roof. Felicity could be heard humming to herself in front of the cauldron. A small bowl of gruel and an unusually big piece of flat bread sat on the table taunting her stomach.

"Go ahead, eat, it's cool enough." Felicity said amiably. Calandra happily sat down to eat.

From this view, she could see Felicity outlined by the light of the fire. There was something about Felicity that no matter how you saw her, she seemed to radiate kindness. As she stirred she asked "did you enjoy your time at the lake?"

Calandra tried to answer but she was interrupted.

"She met a boy, should 'ave seen her face Fee, Tried to clean only one half of Hélie to avoid looking at me." Brom said upon entering. Felicity threw off her apron and practically jumped into the seat across from her. Her red eyes darted back and forth trying to read Calandra's face.

"You met him on your way there?" Calandra prepared herself to lie but couldn't bring herself to. Felicity would take anything as the truth.

"Well… it was while I was at the lake." Brom looked amused and slightly surprised at Calandra's admission.

"I came up and started looking for my clothes and he must 'ave come when I was under. He thought I had been killed by footpads. So he had my clothes but he gave it back. He didn't see anything," she tried to explain without digging a deeper grave.

"Calandra right now what I am getting from your story is that you're now a harlot." Felicity said to her. She looked at Calandra smiling. "A young girl almost an actual adult meets a young man while she is bathing and he has her clothes. And you are insinuating that they both managed to keep the boy's clothes on and he did not see her in her… state. So you're telling me that every start of the greatest love story myths actually did not work in real life?" With every word she said, her voice grew in volume. Brom made no move to quiet her and instead enjoyed his own meal.

"Are you sure you didn't do anything?" Felicity grabbed Calandra's wrists and checked them for anything. "Did you always have that bruise on your neck?"

Calandra pulled her hand away from felicity completely flustered. She told the truth, why didn't felicity believe her?

"I'm joking." Felicity laughed and her dimples became more pronounced. Even Brom let a small chuckle escape

Calandra flicked open her eyes unable to hold onto sleep for long. The man from before now bothered her in her dreamless sleep. The voices talked too much and were too loud. How could she sleep when they were thinking? It didn't help that the thistles mixed in with the hay continued to scratch her through her blanket. The idea of getting up and fixing her bedding teased her mercilessly but, Felicity would know she was awake from the loud creaks of the loft's floor boards.

Calandra shifted so she could see through a large hole in one of the floor boards a few feet away from her. She could see Brom just finishing his meal and felicity had now moved to the large bucket cleaning the plates.

Calandra sighed to herself. She had not been asleep for long.

"Do you think it is really okay for her to be talking to him again?" Brom's worried voice floated out from below. The sounds of plates clinking together preceded the sound of Felicity's reassurances.

"I don't see why not?"

"Aren't you worried she'll be exposed?" Brom said posing a very important problem they faced daily. Felicity stopped and almost seemed to freeze but shook her head and turned around looking at Brom. In their own shared language of wise people they told the other to follow them outdoors.

Calandra shifted back into her bed. The door opened and closed with extra care so they would not wake her up.

"It'll be good for her identity I think. She's seventeen; almost all the other girls are already married. Rory's girl isn't married only because her fiancé is off fighting wars for Charlemagne's sons'. The other woman talk about her to me," Felicity said sounding a bit exasperated. "They ask me why I haven't found a man for her. Ellie gave me more bread today saying that I need to make her more plump and keep her out of the fields if I ever want to marry her off."

"I still don't think she should see that exact man Fee," Brom paused, "I only saw him for a second but I just don't like how he looked at her-

"But what did Calandra look like?" felicity interrupted him.

"Why don't you ask her?"

"She would never tell me. She shows all her feelings on her face when she thinks we're not looking. What was her face really like?" There was a pause in the conversation and it was filled with the baa of Nannette. Felicity giggled and Brom gave a small amused grunt.

"She was in love," he stated, "she wasn't the same when she first left. She may not realize it herself but he changed her in that short time." Calandra held her mouth holding back the urge to correct Brom. That man hadn't changed her she was sure of it. She couldn't be in love either. If there was anyone who knew the dark side of love it was her. Her own death had been caused by a scorned girl who didn't even know what she wanted.

"Brom," Felicity's voice pleaded, "she needs somebody else to go to in this world. She needs a friend; I'm just a mentor to her making sure she doesn't do anything to endanger people. She needs someone like how you are to me Brom." There was more silence from all of them, even Nannette.

Brom's stoic voice seemed close to breaking. "You won't 'ave me for long fee. No matter how well your medicines work."

"I know." Calandra sat up and looked out the window down below to where Felicity and Brom sat on the step. Felicity hugged Brom tightly.

"I know I won't 'ave you for long but I 'ave you for now," Felicity said sounding like she would cry. Brom hugged her back.

Calandra's heart tightened and she quickly lay back down on her bed. She closed her eyes and squeezed her hands together praying that she would fall asleep before the thoughts could poison her mind.

Too late.

Calandra opened her eyes and looked at the starry sky above that peeked through the hay roof. The moon was full and bathed her exposed skin making her glow slightly.

I won't fall in love, I promise you stars, I can't fall in love.

Water rushed into calandra's mouth. She flailed around trying to grab for the side of the tub.

Finally getting a good grasp on the side, Calandra heaved herself out of the water and rested on the side of the tub. Water splattered on the floor from the tub and from Calandra's throat. She coughed even though the water had been ejected from her throat.

Even with her almost life threatening moment Calandra was more disturbed by what had caused her to become sidetracked.

The memory had never gone that far. Had it?

No.

It was just her going down to the bottom of the lake and coming up at the call of her voice; right before she broke the surface the memory would end.

That man he was the one that she was looking for. He was the man that her body told her to find, now she had a person to the order. But what did he look like?

Calandra scrambled for the memory reinforcing it into her brain so it would not disappear. She was too late to salvage the man's face and could not recall any feature. His voice now sounded generic and it could be anyone's voice.

She clenched her tiny fist and hit the side of the tub. So close, so close to her answer. All she needed to see a face and win the lottery with her ability to find him. What he was going to do to help was just as mysterious as her past, but it was better than running around in circles.

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