Chapter 8: Blue and Orange Memories
It was amazing how fast one could move even when hindered with large skirts. The ladies of the ball tonight were set on amazing Calandra tonight.
As soon as she had sent her puppet's hand through the back of the target, the tiny fire balls appeared and ignited the venom. He had no chance at all with the fire burning inside him. Nowhere, where he could escape.
Marcus turned around looking at his daughter. His sulking eyes clearly stated his sentence "overkill much?" But Marcus's opinion did not matter if Aro was happy. Overkill was one of Aro's favorite things. And she was right because a half-smile had formed on the said vampire's face.
The target now was an unrecognizable heap of ashes and bones and her puppet now released stood dazed oblivious of what she had done. A hurried lady with cascading red hair threw people out of the way as she rushed to the center of the mess. Her back was turned to Calandra so she could not see her face but how the lady's frame quivered conveyed grief and hatred. She fell to her knees and that was when a lone strangled dry cry fell out into the ballroom.
The crowd moved away, some filtering into the other rooms feeling that the enormous ballroom suddenly felt too small. Marcus got up, muttering something unintelligible, to probably go enjoy a quieter seat. She watched him go until he disappeared in the hallway behind the thrones.
Calandra slipped down onto the top steps pressing herself against the railing. Aro had come down from the second level to address the problem as the concerned host. Diplomatic words to calm the masses were used and only two were left uncomforted. Charlene, the puppet, backed up scared for what was to become of her. A mate could not rest until their loved one's death was avenged, not succeeding in that was shown by a certain half comatose father. The red-head would not leave without killing Charlene or die trying.
One good thing that came out of it was Calandra had chosen an unmated new coven member leaving less of mess to clean. Aro extended his hand to the red-head lifting her quivering frame toward Charlene. Words went back and forth in deep discussions on a verdict. They were not going in Charlene's way as her eyes grew large like a doe and that's when Calandra saw it.
A happy Charlene danced around her room in her fine dress. A type of luxury that the girl never had before. So excited, like Calandra before who also thought that for tonight she could be pretty too.
I can be pretty too
Calandra fell back covering her mouth trying to calm herself down before she went into a panic attack. She started to slow her breath and study everything but the vision. Of all the times to have a conscious she had to have one now. No, nothing happened; she could not dwell on what had already been done.
She pushed herself back up allowing the railing to be a shoulder to lean on. Someone was listening to her thoughts that night. The grand peacock that had been residing in the nest hair strode around on the stairs. It's famous green feathers were bundled behind it creating a long train. It climbed the stairs stopping every once in a while to check if the marble had food. When it stopped in front of her it opened its mouth giving a whispered call.
"Waah aaaah aaaah."
Such a nasty and irritating noise from such a pretty bird.
Pretty
"Stop stop, don't think about," Calandra told herself.
"Calandra what are you doing here?" She looked up to see Demetri and his shy smile. Alec stood behind him still watching her.
"Are you okay?" Demetri placed her hand on her shoulder.
"Yes, I-I'm fine Demetri. I'm just tired. It's bee-" Her sentence was cut off by the scream of Charlene. Calandra did not turn for she knew what was happening. The girl would be torn apart and disposed of in a fireplace. She heard Aro clap his hands together announcing to everyone else, "Well let's continue the festivities shall we?"
The musicians fired up their most merry and fast tempo song they knew. Everyone seemed eager to become happy again and listened to Aro's words.
"Demetri, I'm going to go to bed," Calandra told her friend. She started walking off.
"That's the wrong way"
"I get to my room eventually." She replied weakly.
()()()()()()()()
The nightmares had come that early morning. Though she could not remember them, the cold sweat and lack of breath she had waken with disclosed how bad they had been. Calandra flipped over looking at white flowing curtains that moved softly with the almost stagnant breeze. She had closed those doors earlier but there were spaces between the frames allowing air in.
Each breath turned into a white fog as it evacuated her throat. Calandra buried herself deeper into the flimsy blankets provided for her. It was too cold even for a vampire.
Can you put all the blankets around your head? It's getting cold in here.
"Here," Calandra tossed the blankets on the couch, giving it to the voices. "Share please."
Mhmm maybe it would be easier if…
She tuned out their squabbling while she pulled back her hair getting ready to leave. Her hair now undone from its intricate style, curls stuck out in every direction making it hard to pull it back into a simple plait. And thanks to the nightmares, they had become knotty and frizzy increasing the volume of her hair to a fluffiness level comparable to a sheep. A sheep that was long overdue for a trim.
"Sorry Nannette, at least I did it eventually…" Calandra apologized silently to her old sheep which she had repeatedly put off shaving many an afternoon.
Broken hair fell onto her crisscrossed legs as she ran her fingers through the knots. Letting her digits take lead on her hair, her eyes wandered to the notches on the foot frame of her bed. She remembered when she was eight, scratching those in as she made actual friends. Out of the thirteen scratched in, one was deeper than the others. That one was Demetri's.
Maybe Demetri would be willing to give her one his decorative covers he kept in his room. Calandra tied her braid and unwrapped her legs getting ready for her short trip. Her toes curled and prodded her slippers trying to push them into the right places. With them finally on Calandra paused, her body leaning against the edge of the mattress.
The quiet and slow beat of her heart filled in the empty staff and the room added tones of blue, white, and silver to the melody. She looked down at herself seeing the melancholy melody that her mother once sang in the cool color palette of the morning shadows
When skylarks and the birds
Fly across the sky
They'll tell you where I left my heart last
Beyond the trees…
That was all she could recall lyrics wise but she could never forget how hard she cried when the song was done. Those days were gone but still stayed faintly in her heart.
It was weird how nostalgic she was this morning. Calandra grabbed her woolen robe and put on as she walked out of her room. In the corridor she counted off the doors trying to remember which room belonged to who. Felix was diagonally left of her room, and then Heidi was to the right five doors down… and then Demetri was to left three doors from her next to Chelsea and Afton's room. At least that's what she thought. Sure she could sense their presence but with the thick stone walls and the paneling over them, presences and scent became a bit muddled; too muddled for such small spaces like bedrooms.
She stopped in front of what she thought was Demetri's room. It wasn't entirely ridiculous that she didn't know where her closest friend resided. Demetri was always out tracking someone so he was rarely seen in his quarters, though Felix was always seen slipping into this room.
Before she could knock, the door opened revealing the very person she was hoping for.
"Calandra, do you need anything?" Demetri said in his stiff politeness. He looked a bit flabbergasted.
"Umm, do you have any blankets?" she asked. He looked at her with such a sorry look.
"Why, Calandra? Why of all times do you ask now?" He hugged her closely almost making her fall over. She was thankful it was so dark and he was much taller than her because he wasn't able to see her blush. She didn't like him, of course. She was just caught off guard by the fact he hugged her and wasn't wearing a shirt. Calandra stood dumbly unsure of what to do next.
"Come in, I'll see if I can find anything else that might do. But just don't look at anything." She slipped under his arm into the room. It was a lot like hers but instead of entering and being able to see most of the room there was a corridor covered with dark wood paneling.
Calandra allowed Demetri to squeeze by in the cramped and dark corridor. The only light came from behind the half opened door. She could see the large shadow of a couch created by the light of a fire. A faint mumbling of a song with lewd lyrics could be heard coming from behind the door.
"Why are you naked?" Calandra cried covering her eyes.
On a couch lay a half intoxicated Felix. Well, he was not intoxicated but sure acted like a drunken bum. A pair of lacey lady bloomers covered his face and he was naked lying on blankets draped on the couch.
"Put some clothes on!"
His hand lazily pawed at the bloomers trying to get them off his face.
"Hey Calandra!" he said. Demetri went past her covering Felix with part of the blanket he was lying on and then disappearing through another doorway. He still shook his head laughing quietly at the blanket subject.
"I knew after you turned sixteen it wouldn't be long before you came for me. Don't worry, I know you're inexperienced. I'll help you reach womanhood" He adjusted his position on the couch to best show off his toned body, those red eyes twinkling with mischievous thoughts.
"I don't want you or womanhood." She exclaimed. "I'm just cold."
"Oh so you're playing the innocent route. You come in here all wide-eyed and naïve. 'I'm cold' which following logic- Are you listening to this?" He gesticulated wildly. "Means that you want me to take the initiative and slip into your bed and warm you up a bit."
"Demetri, I feel violated." Calandra yelled back to where Demetri disappeared.
"Muscle isn't too stiff and hard to sleep on Calandra" Felix continued on about how great of pillow he could be.
"Demetri I'm serious I don't think I can use the restroom anymore, my legs are stuck together in fear."
"Don't you want me?" Felix asked about to get up.
"No." both Calandra and Demetri said simultaneously to Felix.
"Hey, I think we had a moment back there. It was pretty amazing. Until you interrupted it" Felix pointed back and forth between him and Calandra. Demetri ignored him and came over, a clean blanket in hand.
"I found one that didn't get ruined by our dear Lothario over there."
"I'm no more of a womanizer than you!" Felix accused breaking up Calandra and Demetri's conversation.
"Six women and you have the audacity to the deed in my own room."
"That's really disgusting." Calandra stated. Demetri snatched up a flower vase and stalked over to Felix. Felix lifted his arms playfully trying to block the vase, but Demetri jumped on him successfully breaking the vase against Felix's head. It did little as Felix was able to push him off of him and across the room. All while describing his "great achievement" of the night.
Demetri followed Calandra as she left to escape hearing such demeaning words. Demetri stopped in front the door to inform her that Aro was sending the three of them out in a few hours. Calandra silently hoped that it was not another assassination job. Noticing her discomfort, Demetri tried to comfort her.
"Felix is just in one of his moods again. He doesn't realize when a joke has gone too far. Besides I'll always be there to make sure nothing happens"
"Don't worry I know he's just being a fool. I'm always ready when he's around, starting fights and throwing punches…" she paused unsure whether to tell him or not; but his kindly face like a chivalrous knight comforted her. "Demetri, I don't really want to do this for the rest of eternity."
"We all feel that way when we first start out. You will get used to it and then it won't disturb you."
"Oh…" Calandra said good bye to Demetri and left for her room. As she turned toward the fireplace room, she glanced back at him.
"Don't sleep too late; we have to leave early." He said before slipping back into his room. She walked back slowly, pondering Demetri's response. Maybe she could get used to it. It was her first time killing another for reasons other than feeding. But it still had a purpose so it wasn't purely wrong. Every single day she was reminded that the Volturi was the only thing stopping the rest of the vampires from exposing themselves, and causing conflicts with the humans. Anytime an outsider entered was the start of a show. This ball was just a show. It wasn't unjustified killing that would be…
Calandra shook herself trying to stop that sickening feeling. She sighed to herself "I'm thinking too much about this."
"What are you thinking about?"
Calandra stumbled, surprised by Alec who stood staring into the now lit fireplace.
"Is that a habit of yours, to just stumble around and gape your mouth, hoping words will come out?" He said turning his head toward her from her lack of response. Of course, he was right.
Her mouth moved still trying to formulate an answer to the first question. Alec was not a person to discuss her personal thoughts with. He only talked to her when he was bored, it seemed.
"Do you do anything but tease?" she asked sighing. Calandra sunk into the embroidered cushions of the chaise feeling that this conversation would not be short. Alec turned from the fire and sat adjacent to her in a chair. He answered her with an unwavering stare that conveyed just the smallest notion of understanding.
"Demetri says that it's uncomfortable the first time but with time it won't bother me as much." She said almost like a question.
"And?" Alec asked. Calandra squirmed trying to bury herself into the stiff cushions. She stared at the embroidered patterns that covered this chaise. Adede once said that it came from a recently dead French king or something. She hadn't paid much attention to outside affairs.
"And." Alec demanded this time. She had hoped he would've replied with some type of affirmation. She wanted to believe that Demetri was right but…
"I don't want it to become normal." She said twisting her nightgown and the blanket nervously. "It doesn't feel right. What I did. What I was told it was for. It wasn't important- no, that's not the right word. Justified or right, there's not anything that is clear anymore."
"Nothing has ever been clear. I have lived longer than you and nothing suddenly starts." His manner became less tense than it had been before with her. Alec leaned forward putting his hands on his knees and whispered "nothing".
"Pompeii," Calandra protested lifting her down casted eyes toward him.
"Large mounds of stone and dirt don't just explode suddenly. It is called a volcano. Built up over the centuries by the convergence- you don't understand this because all you read is philosophy." Calandra groaned. They had had almost a conversation without him insulting her intelligence or looks. She slipped off the chaise onto her feet still conflicted. She started to give a quick good night when Alec interrupted her. "You need to decide what you feel and what matters to you. That's the simplest answer that I can give you, but it isn't entirely right to put that way either."
Calandra looked back at Alec. His face had become a battleground of the cool blues and warm orange colors that filled this room. She had thought she knew where he stood.
"Alec," he looked up. "It became normal for you didn't it." He hesitated like he was about to say yes.
"I don't want it to." He rose and made his way to the window.
"Then why do you stay?"
"I'm waiting for something better." And quickly, basked in the light of the moon, cold and distant, he returned to the ferryman that she had met the first day.
"Good night." She said leaving the warm light of the fireplace for the coldness of her room with a blanket that she prayed would stave off the cold.
"Go to sleep, Calandra."
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