Author's Note: I just couldn't help myself, :3
It may not look like much right now, but I assure you it'll get better.
So please, enjoy.
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Chapter One: Contamination
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The moment he first saw her, everything in his head went quiet. All the ticks, all the constantly refreshing images just disappeared.
Uchiha Sasuke was sure there was something wrong with him - something more than usual. He was sure, so sure, that the spinning thoughts in his head and the constant heaviness in his stomach was normal; because for as long as he could remember, it had always been the same, but when his obsidian eyes landed on her, the feelings and the thoughts seemed to just.. stop.
He never really ever got quiet moments, for his every waking moment - and sometimes in his sleep - he was always thinking and wondering and feeling unsure - all the things he was always trying to suppress but could never fully make go away.
You couldn't suppress something that was a part of you, no matter how much you wanted to. Sasuke had never liked that fact. He never liked the idea of not being able to get over something; to get out of it. He hated the idea of always being like this.
Like a freak.
And it was all because he had some stupid mental illness that made him different; made him seem crazy in "normal" people's eyes.
Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder is a time-consuming disease that kept the person constantly suffering - something that no-one but another suffer could understand.
It was for that very reason that Sasuke was shocked when his thoughts went quiet, when the images stopped flashing in his mind.
He stared.
Her hair was pink. An unusual colour, he thought, but couldn't help but admire how it went with her smooth ivory skin. He could see her bright emerald eyes and he could see her straight white teeth when she smiled and laughed at something a person had said.
Sasuke couldn't help but admire how pretty she was, how he felt kinda relieved that she somehow stopped the wicked, anxious thoughts in his mind. It made his heart rate increase.
Bu-bump, bu-bump, bu-bump.
He could hear it pounding in his ears, feel it beat against his ribcage. His heart seemed to be running on total adrenaline and warmth.
Then someone walked in front of him and his direct line of vision of her from across the store was severed. Not being able to see her made his heart start to beat regularly again, and like a tap had been turned on, the rushing of his thoughts came flooding back; filling up his being with anxiety.
Everything was loud again.
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Uchiha Sasuke was washing his hands for the tenth time that day.
He just couldn't seem to scrub away the feeling of dirt and germs on his hands and under his nails. His hands were scrubbed raw and it hurt but he couldn't stop until his hands didn't feel dirty anymore.
He was well aware that his mother was leaning against the door frame to the bathroom, her arms crossed against her chest, a small, worried frown on her face.
Sasuke tried not to focus on it too much.
When he was done, he dried his hands. Left hand first, then his right hand. He dried his hands until he was sure they were dry.
"Are you all set now, Sasuke-kun?" His mother asked gently, smiling up at her youngest son.
Sasuke nodded his head and followed his mother out of the bathroom.
They didn't end up leaving until one - an hour and a half later than planned.
Sasuke had to walk down the stairs, counting each step as he did so, making sure he followed the left-right-left pattern. Once he reached the bottom, he had to walk back up and then back down again sixteen times because each time just didn't feel right.
He then used his house key to lock and unlock the door. He had to be sure it was properly locked.
Sasuke then had to do the same thing with the car door and his seatbelt.
He couldn't stop.
During this whole time, Mikoto sat and waited patiently for Sasuke to finish. She knew that he couldn't help it and that her son tried his hardest everyday to get it under control. The least she could do for him was have patience.
Like usual, she tried to make small talk.
"So I was thinking about going to that bookstore before we get the groceries - is that alright?"
Sasuke shrugged. "Sure."
Mikoto sighed.
"Itachi will be home tomorrow. Are you two boys going to do something?" She asked, taking her eyes off the road for a second to give a sideways glance at Sasuke.
The youngest Uchiha shrugged. "Itachi didn't tell - tell, tell, tell, - Itachi didn't tell me anything."
Mikoto inwardly winced at her son repeating his words. "Well I'm sure he has something planned."
"Probably."
The rest of the car ride was quiet.
For Sasuke however, it wasn't quiet - but it's not like that's unusual, he thought bitterly. He couldn't stop thinking about the house.
Were all the taps turned off properly?
Did he close all the windows?
Did he close the doors that needed to be closed?
Were all the lights and power switches turned off?
Was the stove and the oven off properly?
Did he lock the back door?
He locked the front door properly, right?
What if he didn't? Someone could break in and steal something important and it'd be his fault for not checking everything properly. There could be a fire and it'd be his fault because he didn't make sure everything was switched off properly.
Sasuke tapped his fingers again his left leg.
One.. two.. five.. six.. ten.. twelve.. fifteen.. eighteen.. twenty.
"Sasuke? Hey, Sasuke."
The sound is his mother's voice cut Sasuke's anxious counting in half and he turned his head to look at her, his eyebrow raised.
"Hm?" He grunted.
She smiled kindly. "We're here."
He blanked. "Oh." Already?
Once inside Konoha's only shopping center, Mikoto and Sasuke made their way up stairs - Sasuke refused to take the elevator - and went to a small bookstore. He decided to lean against the wall outside the store and wait for his mother.
Sasuke shoved his hands into his jean pockets and watched as everyone walked past. He counted how many people looked at him.
Fourteen boys.
Twenty-nine girls.
Suddenly, something bumped into him and he stiffened, his mind instantly screaming out at the idea of being knocked. Who knows what germs lay on their clothes and skin.
"Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't see you there!" A light, angelic voice exclaimed from beside him. Sasuke's heart beat increased at the sound of her voice. "Are you alright?"
Sasuke looked down at her and his obsidian eyes widen slightly.
It was her.
The pink hair, the ivory skin, the bright emerald eyes that shined with concern.
He cleared his throat when he realized that he was staring and she was waiting for a reply.
"Uh - I'm fine. Are you alright?" He asked awkwardly, his fingers twitching to tap is left leg. He restrained himself from doing so.
She waved her hand, smiling brightly. "I'm fine. It was my fault, I should have looked where I was going."
Unsure of what he was supposed to say, Sasuke nodded his head. "Don't worry about it."
She let out a tiny giggle and held out her hand. "I'm Sakura. Nice to meet you."
Sakura.
He repeated the name over and over again in his head, making sure he remembered. And Sasuke couldn't help but think her name suited her well.
Sakura.
Then he realised she was waiting for him to shake her hand.
His eyes left her face and stared at her small hand. He froze, his heart pounding. Sakura wiggled her fingers to try to entice him into her shaking her hand.
But he couldn't. He'd get germs on his hands and he had nowhere to wash them. Sasuke began thinking about the fact that he could get the flu, and then give it to someone else and they could give it to someone else. He began thinking about getting the swine flu, or he might even end up getting some other sickness that she might have picked up when she touched something and didn't wash her hands.
He couldn't shake her hand. He couldn't shake her hand. He couldn't shake her hand.
Clearing his throat, Sasuke internally damned his whole entire existence.
"My name's Sasuke and I can't shake your hand, but it's nice to meet you too." He spoke too quickly, before he even knew what he was going to say. He sounded stupid. He sounded stupid. He sounded stupid. She was going to laugh at him. Sasuke felt his throat go dry and his heart sink. He just wanted to get out of here before he said something that made him seem even more of a freak.
Sakura dropped her hand and nodded her head, smiling like she understood why he couldn't shake her hand.
Sasuke internally growled at that.
"Well Sasuke, I'm sorry for bumping into you." She said, once again smiling. "Hopefully I'll see you around. Bye bye."
As he watched Sakura walk away, he watched her hips sway.
"You too." He muttered to himself.
"Who was that?"
The sound of his mother's voice brought Sasuke back to reality for the second time that day. He turned towards his mother and saw the large smile that spread across her face. Sasuke internally told her how beautiful she looked with that smile on her face.
He shook his head before shrugging. "She bumped into me on accident." He said nonchalantly - refusing to give anymore information on the matter.
Mikoto's eyes winded. "You alright? Do you need to go home and change?" She asked worriedly.
And for the first time in five years, Sasuke declined. "No. I'm fine."
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Five years ago, Uchiha Sasuke was diagnosed with Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder - or, better known as OCD.
OCD is a brain-based anxiety disorder that causes considerable suffering and impairment. There are two parts that make up OCD.
Obsessions are ideas, thoughts, or images that keep coming back. They are not enjoyable, rather obsessions are unwanted and upsetting, causing severe anxiety and stress. The obsessions just won't "go away".
In order to cope with the obsessions, people with OCD engage in repeated behaviors or thoughts, known as compulsions, to make themselves feel safer. Compulsions are rituals that the person believes reduce the risk of the obsessions coming true, or at least reduce the anxiety they produce. However, the compulsions are not really useful.
Living day-to-day with Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder is a strain on not only Sasuke's life, but his family and his best friend, Naruto's too.
And Sasuke hates it. He hates it so much he wishes he could just be normal. Just for one day, he wished he didn't have to worry about closing and locking all the doors and windows a hundred times before he left; that he didn't have to wash his hands twenty times, or make sure the taps and power switches were turned off properly or count constantly.
Just for one single moment, Uchiha Sasuke wished to not be what everyone calls him.
A freak. A freak. A freak.
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End: Chapter One: Contamination
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