Chapter 3: They Always Turn Up

"Emma."

She stared at him in utter shock as he walked into her office, and he could feel all her pain and he couldn't meet her eyes. He sat down next to her and steeled himself before he met her gaze.

Her voice shook to match her hands. "Alex."

His tone was soft and grave. Hesitant. "How are you?"

"I'm…I'm fine." She spoke in a higher pitch than usual, but he didn't comment on it. "How have you been?"

"I've been fine. Busy."

"Busy. I see." He tried to gather himself, not to lose his thoughts in the sound of her voice. But she saved him by continuing. "So a lot happened when you—when you were gone. Um, Frank and Jane were secretly dating! Crazy, right?"

He tried to reply cautiously. "Yeah. Yeah, I already heard."

"Oh. You did. Well, you probably were less surprised than everyone else. I know you tried to warn me once, but…well, I've never been good at listening, and look where that got me." The volume of her words sank at the end, and she broke eye contact.

Instinctively, he reached out to take her hand. She was surprised but let him take it, staring. He tried to speak louder than a murmur. "Emma, I know…I know it hurts, but I'm sure you'll forget him if you give it time. You're too smart—too good for that jerk." Indignation flooded his tone. "It's good that he's gone. A scumbag like him doesn't deserve Jane, and he definitely doesn't deserve you." He stopped, puzzled by her expression. The sadness had left her eyes; she seemed more sheepish, more ashamed.

"You're…thank you, Alex, but there's been a mistake. I know I flirted with Frank, and I behaved really badly. I did, and said, a lot of things that I regret, but I don't have any other reason to be upset over Frank."

"Emma!" He couldn't help but say her name in astonishment, but then checked himself. "No, I mean, that's good. That's really good, then. I'm glad you've gotten over him so fast. He's not worth your time. I just hope Jane has done the same."

She was still trying to speak normally, but he could see her confusion, and it confused him. "…Alex, really, I didn't like Frank. I know I might have given a very different impression, but I never liked Frank that way." He stayed silent, waiting for an explanation, trying to comprehend what she was saying. "It was my own vanity. He's rich, handsome, successful, charming, he's Ryan's brother—anyway, it felt good to get attention from him. But for a while I felt like a lot of his attitude wasn't serious, so I took it lightly. I can see now that it was all a trick to hide his relationship with Jane. And I'm lucky that I never…fell for him. Not even a little."

Hope bubbled up inside him and he fought to push it down as his eyes roved her face, looking for signs that she was lying to him. But she wouldn't. He already knew that. He rejoiced, inwardly, that she was safe. So many weeks of anxiety for nothing. She was okay. And she didn't care about Frank. After a while, Alex mastered his emotions enough to say bitterly, "Frank is a lucky man. So unfeeling, using people as he wants, but he got a great girl like Jane to love him, even in a secret relationship. A girl who, knowing Jane, didn't care about his money or his status. It was so easy for him to find someone smart, kind, intelligent, sweet… And he charmed everyone else so easily, too!"

Emma stiffened. He wasn't sure what she was thinking of. "You sound like you envy him."

"I do." His words were directed at her this time. He couldn't stop himself. "There is one thing that makes me envy him more than I can say." Emma remained silent, looking troubled. He didn't know what this meant. Had she understood him? "You…don't want to know what that is. But I have to tell you anyway, Emma, even if you don't want to hear it."

"Then don't say it!" He froze. His entire being was filled with aching disappointment. "Take some time, don't force yourself." He could not make himself stand, or look at her. His heart was thudding and his throat closed up. That was it. She had rejected him. Emma would never love him, not even if she had no one else in her heart.

He managed to choke out, "I should go." He abruptly stood up from the chair and turned towards the door, recalling briefly all the times he had come in and out, admiring her hair, her eyes, her teasing laugh, her radiant smile. He couldn't stay.

Suddenly there was a hand clutching at his arm, almost desperately. He turned and he was gazing into her pleading eyes. "Alex, wait. I was—I was rude just now. If there's anything you want to tell me, I'll listen. As your friend."

He sat down slowly, looking her in the eyes with a mirthless laugh. He held her hands in his. "A friend! No, no, I can't tell you as a friend. I can't be your friend."

He saw the tears spring to her eyes again. "Alex, I'm sorry—"

"I can't be your friend because I want to be more. Emma, be honest with me. Do I have any chance?" He let all of his love for her wash over his expression, into his eyes, and saw her own widen. "Emma, you know me. I can't make speeches. If—if I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. I have lectured you, blamed you, and you put up with me every step of the way." She was still totally silent, looking overwhelmed.

But happy. More than happy, despite the tears in her eyes. Elated. This smile was all for him.

He couldn't wait any more. "Emma, please, say something—"

"Yes." She was sniffling and she pulled back one of her hands to wipe the tears from her face, and then she was looking straight at him with the biggest smile he'd ever seen on her face. "Yes, Alex, I love you too. I love you so much."

He could never describe the happiness he felt as they looked deep into each other's eyes, seeing each other as if it was the first time, and yet knowing each other so well. And then her hands were on his shoulders and his were on her waist, and their lips met in a long, long kiss, and he knew that all his heartbreak and turmoil had been worth it. He finally had Emma.