OH. MY. GOSH.
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20 Reviews and only 5 chapters...
WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE YALL?
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anyways
RESPONSES!
MiaBelles - I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING! Basilia interrupting Katniss' train of thought IS SUPER IMPORTANT (it happens again in this chapter too... except only with Peeta) BUT ITS IMPORTANT SO REMEMBER THAT THOUGHT NEVER FINISHING! Yes, unfortunately he is. Im not deep into PTSD as some Fics are because I'm very much optimistic and I just need some happy... LOL thank you for your review dear!
SchoolGirl123 - Im so sorry I made you sad (the next chapter after this one will probably kill you then)! They haven't told each other yet for very specific reasons (mischievous laugh)! "My Mockinjay's wings have been clipped" is probably my favorite line I have written in this story! I can't even tell you! HAHAHA THANK YOU! YESSSS BA! hahaha I am so glad you like Catching Everlark cause I like it to and its just a whole lot easier for you to find me on IG or tumblr. LOL THANK YOU FOR YOUR REVIEW DEAR!
Katandwyagarbow - THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU oh my goodness ILY :D I want the characters to be detailed in their thought process so my readers feel their feelings, see what they see, and learn what comes to light! I am so excited that you joined the fun! THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Guest - DUN DUN DUN! Thank you! Its very dramatic, is it not? LOL I tend to end a lot my chapters with a single word like that... and some of y'all will kill me for it... I know it. But its my signature style I suppose! LOL THANK YOU FOR YOUR REVIEW DEAR!
OKIE DOKIE! YALL KNOW THE DRILL
SAY IT WITH ME
READ AWAY MY LOVELIES
(I do not own the hunger games, thats Suzanne Collins)
STAY BEAUTIFUL
- CE
I have no idea what I am supposed to do. Not a clue. However, my instinct decides better and for some reason, I just happen to react. I stand about 8 feet from the table in a stance of caution, as if I am about to set him off any further.
"Sae, take Basilia outside and wait till I come for you. Take your coats." I say calmly, with my arms spread out in defense, as if rounding up an animal. They nod and hurry outside leaving the door slightly ajar. The only thing Peeta would react to is me. He would only harm me. But I WILL NOT let the Capitol take him yet again. I walk slowly towards Peeta, surveying his condition before I make any movements to touch him.
"Peeta. Are you all right?" I ask cautiously. He just grips the chair harder and turns his head from me a bit.
"You did this." He growls.
"Did what?" I ask again, my voice not faltering to the fear inside me.
"Burned the district to the ground! You are here to kill me!" He screams at me, whipping around to face me.
"No Peeta. I would never hurt you…"
"That's what they said you would tell me! I know a mutt when I see one!" He spits. Ouch. That last part hurt. He turns back to the chair and grips it till his knuckles are white.
"Peeta, listen to me. I am not a mutt. I'm Katniss. I am not going to hurt you. Its all right." I find courage deep within me and I go up to his shaking shoulders and place my hands on them. He flinches at first, then relaxes under my touch. "Shhh, Peeta, I am right here."
I rub my fingers tenderly on his back, watching as his breathing comes to a tender slow. My feet force me to move closer to him as I slide my hand along his arm. His muscles are strained and tense. I am surprised at the amount of muscle he has gained in his body since the Capitol. Then again, I don't doubt he worked for every ounce of it. My hand reaches across him, bringing him to look in my eyes.
His hand goes to my waist for balance, "I hurt someone, real or not real?" he whispers, slowly coming out of his flashback.
"Not real." I say gently.
"You were rescued from the Quarter Quell, real or not real?"
I hesitate, but I know I have to answer, "Real." Even though it kills me every time that particular subject comes up to conversation. My heart aches because Peeta is the one who should have been rescued. Not I. His valiant spirit, his kind heart, his ability to command attention when needed, and all I am is some hopeless girl who barely made it out alive. And emotionally speaking… I didn't. He looks at me and I place both hands on his warm cheeks. His hand comes up to meet mine and I can feel the electricity the runs through the connection of our skin… that is until I see his finger.
I look at his finger and blood is now covering his hand, "Peeta let me look at your finger. We need to clean that up." I whisper. But he responds in a way that I do not expect.
"Katniss?" he takes my hands gently and looks exhausted. "Katniss, did I just…" he looks at his bloody finger, then to the knife, the cutting board and bell peppers, then back to his bloody hand. "Oh no, Katniss. I'm so sorry, I…I have to go." He looks horrified, and releases waist at once. With that, he rushes out of the kitchen and out the front door. I'm left there with blood on my hands and dumbfounded look on my face. What just happened? Sae and Basilia storm back into the house as I crumble to the floor and leaning against the cabinets, realizing that my adrenaline was pumping through my veins. My breathing becomes heavy and my vision becomes blurry. To my surprise, Haymitch comes bounding through the door furiously.
"Sweetheart! May I inquire, WHY THE HECK WAS PEETA RUNNING ACROSS YOUR FRONT LAWN WITH BLOOD ON HIS HANDS?" Haymitch yells, his face drains of all color when he sees my bloody hands
"Haymitch, he just froze. He was in his own world, calling me a mutt again. I don't even know what happened." I say frantically shaking my head trying to rid my mind of the images that have now flooded my brain.
"He was helping me with breakfast. He was cutting bell peppers to put in the omelets when he accidently cut his finger. I turned to get him a towel for the blood, and when I cam to face him, his eyes went dark and his face ghostly white. The next thing I know is that he is clutching the back of the chair and Katniss is here soothing him." Sae explains will cleaning my hands.
Haymitch looks at the chair and sees the nail indents and blood. He sighs and put his hands on his hips. "That's mahogany, Effie is going to have a fit."
I let a small laugh escape my lips knowing that Effie would be concerned over the smallest of things. By this time Basilia is at my side with a cool towel for my head. For a girl who is only 7, she sure is very efficient.
"Sweetheart, I would at least thought that either of you would have stopped playing with sharp things after the arena. Do I have to fix everything?" he throws his hands up in exasperation. Basilia giggles at him, and Greasy Sae rolls her eyes. "I am going to go check on him. In the mean time, clean up the blood, and wasted peppers, but I'm coming back because I do happen to be hungry."
"I'm coming with you…" I declare standing straight up now.
"No Katniss. Its not safe yet." He puts his hands up to stop me.
"What is he going to do with you there? Quit being ridiculous!" I say with a wave.
"NO KATNISS! I will NOT have you dead! I will not." He shouts and grabs me by the shoulders. He hangs his head realizing his reaction to my underestimation of the situation. "Katniss, I will not be responsible for your death. Peeta is going to need some time. He will come around. Let me go talk to him. No sit down sweetheart before you make me drink this early in the morning." He snorts. I nod my head, praying that he will be able to talk to Peeta, and that Peeta will know that it was just a flashback, and we can fix it. I watch Haymitch walk out the door saying he will return momentarily, and wonder Haymitch will say to convince Peeta he didn't hurt anyone.
"You still love him don't you?" Sae says in a quiet voice behind me.
I spin around and look at her. "No! Of course not. We never did love each other in the first place. I just worry for his safety. Besides, how could he ever love me again?"
"Oh child. You have no idea how much he loves you."
"Sae, think about this logically…" I begin.
"That's just it Katniss, love isn't logic." She smiles. That stumps me. After everything I have done, after all the pain he has endured alone, and after he saw me as a threat and a reason to kill, how could Peeta Mellark ever love me?
Peeta's P.O.V.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Great job, Mellark. Way to make progress.
The hot water from the kitchen sink stings the gash on my finger, but after forcing it to remain there for a few moments, relief soon follows. I can't believe that just happened. Just when I assumed that the flashbacks wouldn't come with such force and exhaustion, a stupid cut on my finger sets off a world of terror.
A knock at the door brings me out of my self-loathing and I can only pray it's not Katniss. With my finger wrapped firmly in a hand towel, I reach for the door revealing Haymitch looking a little worse for wear.
"You two have got to stop giving me heart attacks. I will be dead before you have kids then you'll really be in trouble." He growls inviting himself in.
I gawk at him, since when does he think that Katniss and I will have children? She won't even look at me, "What makes you think Katniss would even let me touch her?"
"Well for starters, she threw a hissy fit because I made her stay there instead of coming over here to check on you."
He just did me a huge favor; he protected Katniss when I couldn't. How will she ever love me? My heart aches for her, and I realize that all I want to do is be in her presence. The burning desire in my soul can only be quenched with the graces of her touch and softness of her lips. I want to love her, show her love, be her love, but those selfish desires are something that I cannot satisfy. Her needs come before my own and her well being over my own.
My thoughts are interrupted by Haymitch's scratchy laughter ringing through the air. Then I notice his laughter is directed at me.
"What?" I ask.
"You cannot get that girl out of your head. I've been standing here for the past three minutes talking about how you need to be more careful and here you are staring into space undoubtedly thinking about her."
I smile, he is right, I cannot get her out of my head, "She is just… I can't… I mean – "
"You love her." He interrupts.
The redness surfaces to my cheeks and I smile, "Yes."
Haymitch smiles and shakes his head, "I guess I should be prepared for a few uncomfortable discussion then, huh?"
At first, his realization puzzles me, then it dawns on me which particular discussions he is referring to.
I clear my throat, "No! I don't think that will be necessary. I mean –"
"Yeah, just let me know when it happens."
This could not become any more humiliating.
The last few days I have kept myself locked away in the walls of my own home. I thought I could control that type of behavior, and that I was better at this. I could have hurt her. Emotionally I probably did. But I could have physically hurt her, and I would have never been able to live if I had. Doesn't she know? I still love her. I never stopped. But after everything that she has gone through, after everyone she lost, there is not a smitten of a chance she loves me. I only bring trouble back into her life, and I made sure of doing so the other morning.
I stare out the living room window with warm hot chocolate in my hand wishing I could see her beautiful face. It's the middle of the night, but what can I do? Sleep? No. That is not an option. I can't sleep well without her beside me at night because the nightmares are usually too horrible to handle alone. When we spoke at the front door before the flashback, she said I had looked at her oddly.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked, trying to hide the blush that had crept onto her cheeks.
"Like what Katniss? I have always looked at you this way." I respond.
But that is not true. I may have looked at her like that only a half a dozen times. I only look at her like when…
My thoughts are interrupted with a knock on the door.
"What the?" I say to myself. Who could that be at this hour? I leave my spot on the couch and open the door to find a very surprising guest.
"Katniss? What in the world? Get in here its freezing!" I pull her in without even thinking. What reason does she have to be here in the middle of the night during a winter storm?
She stands there, clutching an object to her chest looking at her toes. I stand patiently before I realize that this might be the first time she has made a rash decision on her own.
"I'm sorry, maybe I should come by another time." She whispers and spins to leave.
Nope.
I grab her elbow gently; halting her from walking out, "Wait! Let me make you a cup of hot chocolate."
"Um… are you sure? I didn't mean to wake you." She says shyly.
I chuckle, "Katniss, you know I wasn't sleeping." The nightmares of losing her are unbearable.
"I know." She says, still not looking at me. I reach to take her coat and she allows me to slide it down her arms. My fingers slide along her bare arms, goose bumps following its trail, sending a shiver up my spine.
"Why don't you go start a fire in the hearth while I make us both a midnight snack."
She nods, still holding onto the item in her hands, and moves towards the family room.
Get it together, Mellark.
I nearly sprint to the kitchen and mentally high-five myself for baking fresh cheese buns this morning. I grab a mug from the cabinet and pour her a fresh cup of the velvet chocolate drink, placing it on the tray with the bread. I walk to the family room, my senses alive with anticipation of what could have possibly brought her here. As I turn the corner, my breath catches in my lungs. She sits with her back towards me, her hair undone from its normal braid cascading around her shoulders. Her grey short sleeve exposing the defining parts of her spine, and to me, she could never look more beautiful. I regain my thoughts and walk towards the girl and place the tray on the blush blanket we sit on.
"Katniss, I uh. I need to apologize for a few days ago. I hope I didn't hurt you. I'm so sorry, I just – " I begin to ramble until she tosses me a look that clearly says shut up, Peeta.
"Peeta, please. It was an accident. Haymitch wouldn't let me come to check if you were alright. I'm sorry I didn't come sooner, I just – "
It's my turn to cut her off with the same look. I feel it's best to leave that particular incident alone for now. We sit for a few moments in awkward silence, which baffles me because it is just Katniss for crying in a bucket. So I guess I need to put on my best face and dive right in.
"So, what do I have the honor of having Katniss Everdeen in my house, in the middle of the night, during a snow storm?" I say with a smile. I lean back on my hands watching her movements, and I feel like looking at her, is like looking at her for the first time.
She pushes a strand of hair out of her face and blushes, "Well, since neither of us have the luxury of sleep, I thought maybe we could work on this." She hands me a book and I immediately place it with a rather pleasant memory. She and I worked on this book when she was bed ridden before the Quell. The memory book.
I smile. It was a moment that I will not soon forget. The way her hair fanned over her pillow, they way her face lost all of its skeptics when she slept, and when she lost herself in describing her place of harmony.
I would enjoy nothing more than to spend time with her like this, "I would love to."
She smiles at me and I see a gleam in her eyes full of wonder and hope. We work in tandem on the book for the next two hours, adding our memories of loved ones and things we know about survival. Her eyes begin to fall and I welcome her to lay her head on my lap. She hesitates at first but sleep wins the battle and soon I find my hands in her hair. My fingers ghost over her cheek as she sleeps soundly, finally at peace with herself. I question whether if I should take her home and tuck her in, but then I survey the weather outside and decide that she is in my bed tonight. I gently life her frame into my arms and carry her up the stairs, careful not to hit her head on any doorframe or railing. I kick open my bedroom door and set her gently on the plush sheets. I remove her boots and place them by the door then follow by tucking her safely under the covers. I sink to her level and look at her sleeping state. My sweet bird, living in fear, bearing this pain alone, and I want to take it all from her and place it on me. I want to bear the pain she doesn't deserve.
I am tempted to kiss her awake and tell her how much I love her, how much I remember, how much I want to hold her and protect her from the nightmares that threaten her escape from this world. But I resist that temptation and settle for her cheek.
I press my lips to her warm skin, "Goodnight my mockingjay."
I stand and turn to sleep in the guest room, not knowing how she would react to me sleeping next to her. I slide off my shirt and toss it in the dirty hamper, my skin feeling on fire with desire. I glance over my shoulder once more at her and shut the door behind me, praying I can sleep, with the girl of my dreams just feet away from me.
Katniss P.O.V.
The nightmares come with vengeance and fade into what I had of a dreamless sleep. Death scratches at the door and seeps in through the cracks in the floor, rising to take me prisoner. Fear takes grips and I can't escape the clutches of its evil purpose. How many times must I suffer and watch the people that I hold close die in front of me. Suddenly, I jolt awake finding an alarmed Peeta gripping my shoulders.
"Katniss! It's okay! Breathe! Breathe! You're safe!" He says.
Breathe, you idiot, breathe!
I finally take a deep breath, however, the shaking has yet to cease. Shivers run down my body like raindrops on leafs, causing them to bounce back up my spine. Every time I watch them die, including Peeta, but I am not about to let him know the depths of my nightmares. He can't know. I have him here right now and I don't dare fight on wanting something better.
He pulls me onto his lap and cradles me in his protective embrace, shielding me from whatever threatens to invade my sanity once again. His arms are all but harmful, however I notice his muscles are clenched, his heart is racing, and… well….
… he seems to have missed placed his shirt…
His bare skin against my cheek reflects and radiates familiarity. Peeta Mellark, in you I assuredly have no doubts.
"Peeta?"
"Yes?"
"Stay with me?"
Subtle joy fills my heart when I feel his smile against the crown of my head.
"Always"
kasdk;hfashdlk;fja;lskdhglkahs;lkdg TADA!
HEHEHE
OK, so y'all have been so wonderful with following and favoriting and reviewing I can't thank you enough for all of your love and support! When I see someone followed, favorited, or reviewed it makes me smile so big you can see all my teeth! :D I hope you all have a wonderful day! CLASSES ARE OUT AND IM FREE FOR SUMMER (well half of it before summer term classes ... blech)!
I will update probably tomorrow since I have some free time!
Leave me a little note pretty please? I'll keep my promise and respond to you!
THANK YALL SO MUCH! Remember to find me on IG as catching_everlark and TUMBLR as catchingeverlark11. If you find me let me know!
LOVE YALL SO MUCH!
Stay beautiful and remember how truly special you are!
- CE
