Disclaimer: I do not, nor have I ever, owned Big Time Rush or anything that is recognizable in this story.

Caitlin rose: Thank you for your reviews for both chapters one and two! I'm so happy you're enjoying the story so far, and I'm sorry for the wait.

guest: Thank you so much! I'm so glad you like it :) And thank you for reviewing!

Taylor: Thank you very much! Yay! You're so sweet :) And thank you for taking the time to review!

THANK YOU to everyone who has already taken the time to read, follow, favorite, or review this story! I'm constantly blown away by the response to "Anywhere But Here", but it's a good kind of blown away, so thank you :)

A/N: So, I was originally planning on updating over the weekend, but I got busy and kept putting it off. So now it's Monday, and I'm finally updating. I'm so sorry for the wait, and I'll try to update sooner next time. And I know some of you are probably wondering about updates for my other stories. I'm working on them, I am, but "Break the Ice" is being a brat and "Take the Heat" doesn't want to get written and I'm putting off finishing the epilogue for "Touch the Flame" because I'm going to be really sad when it's officially over. And "Haunted Revenge" is "Haunted Revenge" and is being a pain in the ass per usual, so...But hopefully something else will get updated this week :)

Warnings: Language and sexual innuendos

Chapter Three - Confusion and Determination

Katie's POV

"We need to talk," Zach informed me as he sat down across from me at the library table. It was later that evening, after dinner, and I was slogging through a paper for my economics class that was supposed to be extra credit, in case I didn't do perfect on the midterm or final..

"About what?" I asked him as I continued taking notes from the book I was going through.

"Us. And James Diamond. Especially James Diamond."

I raised my eyebrows at him, but didn't stop moving my pen across the notebook page. "Okay, what about us and James Diamond?"

"Are you really so bored with us that you have to go to James Diamond for excitement?"

I paused, my pen resting in my hand. "What're you talking about, Zach?"

"Well, there's gotta be a reason why you're gravitating towards James Diamond."

"Zach." I sighed out his name. "I'm not gravitating towards him. I told you what happened in detention. We talked. He was nice. And if you hadn't insulted his friend, and then insulted him, I wouldn't have been at his dorm room anyway."

"Right. Because you decided that I was a child who you needed to apologize for." Zach leaned back in his chair, arms crossed.

"No! That's not why. You know I don't like it when people get insulted and I felt bad for him. I mean, he and his friends get called weird on a daily basis, and he always gets called a man whore. It's really not fair, especially since he's so sweet."

Zach snorted. "Katie, boys like him only want one thing from girls. Believe me, he's not really sweet. If he's acting like it to you, then it's because he wants to get into your pants."

"He knows I'm with you," I replied simply, before turning back to my notes, and working on drawing stock market graphs.

"So? He's a man whore. I doubt he has the morals and values to back off of a girl who's in a committed relationship to another guy."

I rolled my eyes. "He had enough morals and values to stand up for Deana Miller, when you were insulting her and putting down actors and actresses everywhere in the world."

Zach stared at me. "Where is this all coming from? You never argue with me."

"I argue with you…"

"No, you don't. You always agree with me."

"I don't always agree with you."

He nodded firmly. "Yes, you do. You're acting so weird today. First detention, then going into a strange boy's dorm – "

"I told you what happened with detention, and you know why I went to James' dorm room! Look, maybe I shouldn't have gone to his dorm room, since it bothers you so much, but I was just trying to be a good person!"

"Katie, you're practically an angel. You couldn't be a better person if you tried. Believe me, trying to apologize for me is not going to help you win extra karma points."

"This isn't about karma!" I cried, staring at him in complete shock, the pen freezing on the paper. "You think I do all this so that good things will happen to me?"

"Well, why else would you do it?" he wanted to know.

"Maybe to make people happy? Ever think about that?"

He blinked. "Are you serious? That's it?"

"That's it? There has to be more to it?"

"Uh…yeah. Otherwise you're not human."

My eyes narrowed, and I slammed the textbook shut, stuffing my notebook and pen into my bed, and scooping the book up. I could study just as well in my room, where I could lock him out.

"Oh, come on, Katie," he protested. "Don't be like that. It was just a simple comment."

"People don't just say stuff, Zach. You meant something by it. And you're acting like a jerk. I don't want to be around you if you're going to be like that. Come and see me when you feel like being a decent human being."

"Katie." He caught my hand as I got to my feet. "Why are you getting so upset over this?"

"Because you're being a jerk. I don't want to be around people who are jerks and treat me badly."

"You're just being overly sensitive." He tried to pull me towards him, but I resisted.

"Maybe I am, but you're still being a bully. I'm leaving. I'll see you later."

"Oh, come on, Katie," he pleaded, but I just glared at him, hitched my messenger bag over my shoulder, and hurried out of the library. I was so furious that I wasn't even paying any attention to where I was going. I wasn't even really seeing anything, so I didn't see the thing that I collided with. All I know is that one second I was hastening along, and the next, I had run right into what felt like a wall, bouncing right off of it.

The weird thing is, the wall caught me before I could fall.

"Are you all right?" I heard James ask, and I realized my eyes were closed. I opened them to look up at his face.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine." My gosh, did I always stutter?

"Good. You were going pretty fast, you caught me by surprise." He peered down at me worriedly. "Are you okay? You look upset."

I stepped back, out of his grip. "No, no, I'm fine. Just, you know, got a lot on my mind."

"Well…okay. Hey, thanks for the cupcakes. I still don't think you should've had to apologize for that boyfriend of yours, but the cupcakes are pretty amazing."

I gave him a weak smile. "Good, I'm glad. Um, listen, I don't want to be rude, but I really need to get to my room. Studying and stuff."

"Ah, okay. Well, enjoy."

"I'll try – "

At that moment, Zach came rushing out of the library. "Oh, so you left to meet up with him?"

"What?" I stared at him. "No! I left to get away from you!"

"You just met him five hours ago and already you're ditching me for him!"

"Hey, she ran into me. She was just leaving when you showed up," James broke in. "Look, I don't know what your problem with me is, or if you act like this around other guys, but you need to chill."

"I don't need to chill. You just need to leave Katie alone."

"I'm not the one who she's trying to get away from."

"I'm not the man whore."

"I'm not the one pissing her off. And excellent retort. It's so overdone it almost sounds original."

"Dude, why don't you go fuck something?"

"Congratulations, your insults are improving. Why don't you go nag at the wall?"

"Why don't you – "

"Stop it!" I cried. "Zach, James wasn't doing anything. Why do you have to keep jumping all over him? He hasn't done anything wrong. Please, just go away. I don't want to have to deal with you tonight."

"Oh, so now you have to deal with me? Wow, some girlfriend you are."

"You're being a brat," I said to him, almost pleadingly, my throat catching slightly. I felt like I was about to start crying from anger and frustration and embarrassment. Why did he have to act this way? "I just can't handle you tonight. I'm tired and I have a lot of homework I need to get through and you're not helping any."

"Well, maybe if he wouldn't show up everywhere you go…Blame it on him! This isn't my fault!"

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" I cried. "Please just go."

"Why do I have to leave?" he demanded.

"Forget it! I'll leave!" I pushed past the two boys and took off down the hall, breaking out into a run. I crashed through the Chancellor Hall doors, gasping as I breathed in the fresh air.

"Katie!"

I spun around to find Zach hurrying towards me.

"Go away!"

"No. Look, I'm sorry." He stopped in front of me. "I didn't mean to upset you. You were right, I was being a jerk to you, and I'm sorry for that."

"You don't trust me either," I added, my voice hitching slightly.

"No, I do, I do," he assured me, taking my hand in his. "It's just, it's James Diamond. He sleeps around, with any girl he can get his hands on. And I don't know what I would do if that girl was you. It would break my heart. You know I love you, Katie. I can't live without you."

"Really?" I asked him, my bottom lip trembling. "You really mean all that? You're not just saying it?"

"I promise you, Kat, I mean all of it. I'd do anything for you."

I smiled a little, and he smiled back.

"So, will you stay away from James Diamond?" he asked me, and I bit my lip.

"I – I guess…I mean, we don't have any classes together. We didn't even meet until today, so what does that tell you? I don't think we'll even see each other very much. He'll be busy with his stuff, and I'll be busy with mine. We don't even run in different circles."

Zach smiled in relief. "That's good. I know you like to see the best in people, Katie, but he's not a good guy, believe me."

"I – I guess – "

"Believe me, he's not. You couldn't pay me enough to do some of the stuff he does. I mean, what kind of person doesn't have enough morals to even wait to be committed to someone before they sleep with someone?"

"Ummm…"

"Exactly. You don't have an answer for it."

"Well…no…I guess not…"

"Because you know I'm right."

"I – I guess…" It didn't sound right, but I didn't feel like arguing with him anymore.

"Good. Now, why don't we go do our homework together? You can help me with my geometry," he looked at me hopefully, and I giggled.

"Okay. Sounds good."

"Good. My little genius," he said fondly, wrapping his arms around me.

I giggled again, leaning into him, and he bent down, kissing me softly. I kissed him back, already feeling so much better than I had five minutes ago. I had definitely been overreacting. I could totally understand why he wouldn't want me around James. If there had been a gorgeous girl who was known for putting out and she kept hanging out with Zach, I'd be jealous and upset too.

He pulled back after a few seconds, smiling at me again. "Ready to head back to your dorm to study?"

I nodded. "Yep. Let's go."

He kept his arm wrapped securely around me as we moved across the courtyard.

I'm not sure what made me turn around; I guess I felt eyes on me. I turned my head around and saw a dark, somewhat familiar figure standing in the doorway of Chancellor Hall, and I felt my stomach clench slightly: James.

His face was shadowed, but I had the oddest feeling that if I could see his eyes, he would have a hurt expression on his face. I wasn't sure why I felt like that, but I just somehow knew that he would have, that he did. And suddenly, I didn't feel so reassured or cheerful anymore. Instead, my stomach clenched again, and I felt absolutely awful, like I had just broken his heart.

I let Zach lead me away, to my dorm, where we spent the rest of the night, until curfew, doing homework, but I could barely concentrate – my mind kept going back to James. At first it was just how he looked in the doorway, shadowed, face practically invisible, but before long, he was coming into my mind in other forms too. For a split second, instead of Zach sitting beside me, it was James, and he was reaching over to run his hand over my thigh.

"Are you okay?" Zach asked me when I jumped slightly, and I nodded.

"Y-yeah. I'm just – yeah. Sorry, I'm getting kind of woozy. It's been a long day, you know?"

He nodded. "Oh yeah, of course."

"And – " I checked the time on my phone " – it's curfew, you should be heading out." I pecked his lips and he got to his feet.

"See you tomorrow," he told me.

"See you tomorrow."

He left, and I closed and locked my dorm room door behind him. I changed into my pajamas and crawled into bed, yawning. I was so tired, so ready for this day to be over. Nevertheless, the second I closed my eyes, James popped into my head.

Tall. Dark. Brooding. The ultimate bad boy. The epitome of sexiness.

I fell asleep thinking about him.

And guess what?

He made a guest appearance in my dreams, which turned into a lead role.

Zach wasn't didn't even show up. It was just James…All James…

I felt beyond guilty in the morning as I went through my usual routine. Dreams usually meant something. At least, that's what everyone said. And I had a feeling that this dream meant that I wanted James…in more ways than one. In ways that I couldn't even honestly say I wanted Zach.

I forced myself to go down to the cafeteria for breakfast, where I automatically began searching James out. He wasn't there yet, which seemed like a good sign. Maybe I wouldn't have to see him at all today.

I got a bowl of cereal and joined the only friend who had showed up yet. The others usually took forever to get down to breakfast, so a lot of times I didn't even see them until class or lunch.

Logan looked up at me from his calculus textbook. "You look a little frazzled," he commented as I sat down beside him. "Rough night?"

I fought back a blush. "Yeah…weird dreams."

"Ah. Well, if you have normal dreams, then I think you'll be the first person in the history of the universe."

I chuckled. "It was just about someone who I didn't expect."

Logan slowly lowered his textbook, eyebrows shooting up. "A sex dream?"

I actually did blush this time. "N-n-no!"

"You're stuttering. You had a sex dream!"

"Be quiet!" I hissed at him. "There are other people around, you know!"

"All right, all right, sorry. So…a sex dream? That wasn't about Zach?"

I fidgeted uncomfortably. "I cheated on him, didn't I?"

Logan eyed me. "Depends on whether or not you did anything with whoever this guy is in real life."

"I haven't!"

"That's good. I know Zach is a little…controlling…and I wouldn't blame you for wanting to break free, but cheating isn't the way to do it."

"I know, and I wouldn't cheat on him, no matter what."

"That's even better."

"But what do sex dreams about other people mean?"

"Hmmm…you could just need a break from Zach. You might be attracted to this person. You might be rebelling against Zach. You might actually want to sleep with this person."

"Oh." I looked down despondently into my bowl, watching as my Rice Krispies floated on the surface of the milk.

"Which one do you think it is?" Logan asked softly, and I looked up at him in surprise, almost a little scared.

"I – I don't know."

"Bull. You do know."

"Well, it's not like it means anything. I love Zach, and I'm not going to dump him for someone who couldn't ever feel the same way about me. He's the one I'm meant to be with, not this other guy."

"Well, all right. If that's what you believe."

"It's what I know."

He shrugged. "Okay. I'm not arguing with you. Do what you need to."

"I will."

"Good for you." He turned back to his calc textbook, leaving me to my thoughts.

I was almost finished with my cereal when I suddenly lifted my eyes towards the door, and could see what had caught my attention immediately.

James and his friend – Carlos, right? – had just come into the cafeteria. James looked beyond hot, with his hair disheveled, and a sleepy look still on his face. His clothes were a little rumpled, like he had literally rolled out of bed, picked his clothes up off of the floor, and thrown them on. In fact, I was willing to bet that he had done just that, considering it looked like he hadn't even bothered to run a comb through his hair. But the unkempt look suited him.

The school uniform consists of dark blue and black colors, with a dark blue and black plaid skirt for the girls, a white button up shirt, and dark blue and black striped tie, and either a dark blue or black blazer. Shoes could be either white, dark blue, or black, and we could wear either knee socks, leggings, pantyhose, tights, or even fishnets. I usually stuck with a dark blue blazer, black sneakers or heels and, depending on the weather, knee socks, black pantyhose, or black tights. I couldn't imagine myself wearing fishnet stockings. Some girls could pull it off, but I would probably look beyond tacky in them.

The girls who could pull the fishnet stockings off were the ones who James tended to sleep with.

James…

Black pants…white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms…an untied tie…and black shoes. The blazer wasn't mandatory, since it was really just to keep the students warm when it got cold, which was probably why James had chosen to leave it off this morning. But still…he hadn't even bothered to tie his tie.

And damn it. He looked good like that.

His eyes roamed the cafeteria until they landed on me. For a long moment, our eyes locked, zoning into each others', but then he blinked and looked away, and I did my best not to let out a disappointed sigh.

I watched out of the corner of my eye as James headed over to the food line to grab breakfast. He was almost to the front when a blonde girl came up to him and said something to him. He replied, and she gave him a flirty smile.

Come on, you look like you're twelve. My eyes widened a little at the rather abrasive thought. I mean, it was true, she did look young; she was definitely a freshman. But still, that was kind of a mean thought to have, especially about a girl who actually didn't look that young. She probably was about fourteen, and she looked it.

What the heck was wrong with me?

As I watched, James began to chat with her, and she gave him a smile that practically glowed.

Eventually, it appeared that they were wrapping up their conversation, since James was gesturing to the food, probably saying that he needed to eat.

She nodded, paused, and then reached into her bag and pulled out a tube of lipstick. My jaw dropped as she grabbed his arm and wrote something across the back of his hand.

Slut.

I almost gasped aloud at that thought. I didn't call people names, except for jerk and bully, when they were being one, and I certainly didn't call girls sluts because they wrote something on a guy's hand. But she wrote it in lipstick. In lipstick. Come on, that made all the difference. Good girls don't write stuff on guys' hands in lipstick. And they don't write it on the guys' hands either. They use paper and a pen or a pencil, like a normal human being. Only sluts commandeered guys' hands for paper and used lipstick instead of a pen.

And here was solid proof.

James said something out to the blonde, and she nodded, smiling widely, before hurrying off.

I decided that I really disliked girls like her. Throwing yourself at a guy like James Diamond…What did she think she was going to catch, beside STDs?

I clapped my hand to my mouth. Oh my gosh, what was wrong with me? Why couldn't I stop the mean, nasty thoughts this morning? I'm never this mean, I swear! I had no idea what was wrong with me! It shouldn't even have bothered me that the blonde freshman was flirting with James. And yet…it did. But it was absolutely ridiculous. I had no claims to him whatsoever, and I didn't want to. I knew what he was like, Zach had reminded me the night before. Speaking of Zach, I had him. A boyfriend. I shouldn't have been getting upset over a girl flirting with another guy.

But the guy was James Diamond.

Womanizer extraordinaire.

I was just looking out for my fellow females, and shaking my head at the stupid ones. That was all, nothing more, nothing less. And the dream from last night had absolutely nothing to do with my feelings towards him right now. Nothing in the least. It was just a stupid dream. It's not like it actually meant anything. It was just that James had been on my mind for most of the day, Zach had hammered into my head how…free…with sex James was, and my subconscious turned it into something completely different and twisted.

Yes. That was exactly what had happened. I was positive about it. I was definitely, one hundred percent sure, not attracted to James Diamond.

So how come, when he looked over at me as he moved across the room, did my heart start drumming away in my ears, and my body begin tingling in places that I didn't even know could tingle?

With a deep breath, I gathered my bowl and spoon up and carried it over to the huge bucket where everyone dumped their dirty dishes, dropped them in, and walked back to the table. I hitched my messenger back across my chest, said "bye" to Logan, and hurried off, out of the cafeteria.

What was wrong with me?

Yesterday, I hadn't even spoken to James Diamond. And now he was popping up into my dreams in ways that made me want to know what was under his rumpled school uniform, and hear how his voice sounded when he first woke up in the morning. Now, I was getting angry when a girl flirted with him, and was closing in on heart attacks whenever he looked at me. And no matter how much I reminded myself that I had Zach, the guy I had been dating for three years, the guy who would do anything for me, who loved me unconditionally, who was absolutely terrified that I would ditch him just to hook up with another guy, I couldn't make myself stop thinking about him. It was like James Diamond had been engraved straight into my brain like a tattoo on my skin, a permanent image that refused to budge no matter how much I tried to cover it up.

There was nothing I could do about it, except hope that it would fade.

And with that thought, I headed off to homeroom, hoping desperately that I could successfully avoid James, and not get myself thrown in detention again.

So, what'd you guys think of the chapter? Katie finally got her say in, though it's not exactly what she wanted ;P Poor girl's confused out of her mind...

Anyway, I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions on this chapter, so please review :) I've said it before, but it's true - it always makes my day that much better when I read your reviews and your theories and your thoughts on my stories.

On another note, Jatieluv and I would both appreciate it big time if you guys could check out our JatieFantasy stories "Five Years" and "Family Bites" :) It'd mean the world to us!