Author's Note: I'm so sorry about the messed up chapters! I fixed them twice and it keeps happening for some reason. Hope it's okay now, thank you so much for reading! xx
Solona liked to imagine a life where magic did not exist. A world with no demons, no temptations and no Fade. The reason for this was because she had fallen in love with a Templar. A Templar! Of all things. She kept this secret to herself, not even Anders or Jowan knew about it. In her fantasies, she was just an ordinary girl. Her family had been nobles in Kirkwall, so she supposed she would be any other noblewoman. She would go to the market and shop for Orlesian silks and laces. She would visit every shoe shop in the city until she found the perfect pair that would match her new dress for the upcoming party the next evening.
If she had been an ordinary girl with no magic, she might have looked up to the Templars. She might giggle over how handsome and dashing they looked in their suit of armour. Maybe one of them would take an interest in her as well. Maybe it would be a blond haired Templar. Maybe it would be a certain blond haired Templar. She sighed and laid her head down on the table as she usually did in the library. There wasn't anywhere else to go for an apprentice, and she had found a particularly nice spot in the corner. She could spy her favourite Templar from that spot easily whenever he was on duty in the library.
She remembered thinking, surely the Templars felt as bored and stifled in the Tower as the rest of the mages.
Ever since Anders, that incorrigible boy, had tried to swim across the lake to escape, Knight Commander Greagoir had cancelled their yearly swimming exercises. That was the only time apprentices were allowed outside of the tower. She wondered whether the Templars were allowed to step through those doors whenever they liked. She sighed again and closed her eyes, wondering briefly where Anders or Jowan were. She got up from her seat and went to return her book in exchange for a new one. She had to pass by his station and she could feel the butterflies surfacing. She banished them back to their hole.
"Good afternoon, Ser Cullen," she smiled at him.
He looked at her with those warm amber eyes that made her insides twist into something awful. His lips curved upwards slowly.
"Good afternoon, Solona," he nodded to her.
She inhaled deeply in an attempt to keep her heart steady. No, come on, Solona, this is not you. You are a confident and able mage; boys give you doe eyed stares, not the other way around.
"Is there uh… something you needed?" he asked.
Oh, was she just standing there gawking again?
"Oh, no, nothing," she replied quickly. "Sorry for disturbing you."
She turned away quickly and scurried behind the bookcases, only to realise that the book she was trying to return was on the shelf next to him. She gripped the damn thing in her hands and peeked around the corner. He had his back turned to her now. Maybe she could quietly put it back without his noticing. She reached up on her tiptoes to push the book back and attempted to pull out the one next to it. Damn these high shelves, she thought, as she scraped her nails on the binder. She managed to tip the book back but saw it was the wrong one she had been reaching for. Her calves strained from the effort of keeping herself upright and she had to fall back onto her heels. Unfortunately, the blasted book fell with her and knocked Cullen on the back of his head. She thought she swore (highly unladylike) and started to apologise.
He smiled at her and bent down to pick up the book, which was now mangled. Finn would have had a heart attack. She mumbled that it was the wrong one and went to replace it. Cullen easily pushed it back for her and kindly retrieved the right one. He glanced at the cover and they proceeded to chat. Well, she was doing most of the chatting, to be honest. She was about to leave when he told her that she could always talk to him. So she proceeded to try and pry some idle gossip out of him when one of the senior Templars caught sight of them. It must have been an odd sight, a mage and a Templar whispering to each other in an empty corner of the library. Oh, the scandal! Yet the idea seemed to embolden her. Yes, mischief is what I excel at, she thought. She quickly explained herself to Ser Alden before scurrying off again to the other side of the library to avoid suspicion.
Solona promptly dropped her head onto the table with a loud thud. Her forehead stung but anything to get rid of the embarrassment trying to cripple her. She sat back up slowly and glanced down at her new book. The History of Grey Wardens in Ferelden. She had always loved history, especially the ones about epic battles and heroic sacrifices. The Grey Wardens certainly filled all the criteria. She traced the emblem on the front cover and wished she could have a griffon. Of course, she wished they stopped being extinct as well.
Autumn had given way to winter. It was easy to tell in the tower, the stone became that much colder and no matter how many layers of clothes you wore, it was still cold. Winters anywhere in Ferelden were usually harsh and soon enough, the snow fell in flurries outside. They had to close all the windows and lit every fireplace in the building. During particular awful nights, the Knight Commander would allow the mages to cast a heating spell over the tower. Even that staved the cold just a little. Magic boggled her sometimes; they were either insane manifestations of power or completely underwhelming huffs. It was funny.
Anders finally found her as she was huddled in the dormitory under the covers. She did not want to leave the comfort of her bed but he insisted on dragging her out. They arrived in the library, for where else could they possibly go anyway, but their usual seat was occupied. They had to settle for a table closer to the entrance. She yawned, throwing her hair back into a bun and tucking stray tendrils behind her ears. She had wrapped two shawls around her shoulders and Anders had taken her third one.
He was now preparing to tell her all about his latest victim. It was a young apprentice with red curls. She was from Orlais but her parents had moved to Ferelden for some reason or other and requested her change to Kinloch Hold. The Circle loved nobility for whatever strange reason. He was gushing about her accent and oh, mercy, she got out of bed just for this. The things she does for her friends sometimes.
"He's staring at you again," Anders leaned over to whisper in her ear.
She knew who he was talking about and a small blush started spreading across her cheeks. She smiled despite herself and resisted the urge to turn around.
"Is he still staring?" she asked.
"Yeah, don't you think that's creepy?" he raised an eyebrow. "It's kind of obvious he has a thing for you."
She shrugged her narrow shoulders and tried to look nonchalant.
"I don't mind."
Anders eyed her for a few seconds before gasping, eyes widening in realisation. She started at his sudden reaction, almost tipping her chair over before she managed to grab hold of the table.
"You fancy him," he hissed accusatorily.
"I-I-" she sputtered, blood rushing to her cheeks, then managed to blurt. "Do not!"
"I know when you're lying, Solona, and your face is totally flushed right now," he said.
"But-" she tried to think of an excuse but her mind was not cooperating with her at the moment.
"He's a Templar!" Anders narrowed his eyes, throwing a glance over her shoulder, no doubt, at the man in question.
Thank you, Anders, for pointing out the painfully obvious.
"I always wondered why you were never really interested in anyone," he said. "Turns out your more interested in forbidden fruits."
"Maker, Anders, please stop," she groaned.
He teased her a bit more until she threatened to leave him on his own. He quickly ceased but continued to throw sidelong glances over her shoulder. She sighed and listened to him gossip and plot. One thing about Anders was that there was never a boring second with him around. He always had a plethora of ideas and things to talk about. She had no idea how he managed that but she was a little thankful for the distraction. It helped to keep her mind off the ridiculously handsome young Templar standing ten feet behind her.
Solona always had a bad habit of falling asleep in the library, and especially at the worst possible times. It was late in the evening and the library had started to empty out. She was slumped over the table, drawing sketches of animals on a piece of vellum. She had no idea when it happened, but she had managed to doze off and was only awaken by someone gently tapping her shoulder. She blinked her eyes open, still heavy from sleep and looked up blearily. Even though her mind was still hazy, her body had an instant reaction and she found herself freezing. Cullen was smiling down at her with an amused expression.
"Cullen?" she murmured, not quite grasping her situation just yet.
"Solona," he nodded, as he usually did. "The curfew bell has rung."
"Oh," her eyes blinked lazily and he covered her mouth to stifle a yawn. Wait, what did he just say. She jumped in her seat as realisation finally dawned on her. "Oh! I'm so sorry!"
"I suppose I'll have to escort you back to your room now," he told her. "Only because, you know… um… it's the rules."
"Yes… yes! We'll go right now," she gathered her sketches, rolling them up and getting onto her feet swiftly. He eyed the sketches in her hand curiously.
"I didn't know you drew," he said.
"What? Oh… it's nothing," she laughed nervously. "I don't think I'm that good anyway."
"Can I see?" he asked.
She stared at him for a moment before acquiescing. She unrolled the vellum and showed him her sketches. He touched the edge of the parchment, lips parted slightly in awe.
"These are amazing," he told her. "They look like illustrations in books. You're really very talented."
"Oh… you flatter me," she laughed nervously again. She needed to stop doing that right this instant.
"No, I'm being perfectly honest," he looked at her. "You really are."
"Well, thank you," she beamed brightly.
"We should… um… head to the dormitories now," he cleared his throat, leaning away from her.
"Lead the way, Ser," she rolled her parchment back up and followed him out of the library.
They passed by Owain who was still rearranging the items in the stockroom. He gave them a slow nod of acknowledgement as they bade him a good night. They descended the stairs to the apprentice quarters and through another library, which also doubled as a sort of practice area. She only came down here when she needed a book (or when a certain Templar was on duty); it was usually filled with screams of apprentices accidentally setting themselves on fire and shooting random arcane bolts. The tower always held a bit of… darkness for some reason. Especially in the apprentice quarters. She thought it might be because it was so close to the basement where they kept strange magical artefacts. Only a few glow stones illuminated the tower after curfew and she was incredibly glad that she had Cullen by her side.
Cullen, Maker bless his soul, was trying to engage her in some light conversation. However, neither of them had any idea of what to talk about with the other. He had asked about her day, and she told him that she had spent it in the library reading. He asked what she was reading about, and she told him about the various myths and legends surrounding Thedas. She had only finished three chapters of that book when she decided to start sketching and then fall asleep. She wanted to ask how he was faring and whether he had heard any more interesting gossip, but they had reached the dormitory doors now. She stared at it, wishing she could spend more time with him but already knowing the answer to that.
She turned around, putting on what she thought was an alluring smile.
"Good night, Ser Cullen," she bade him.
"Good night, Solona, sweet dreams," he returned.
She pushed open the door quietly and slipped between the crack. She glanced back at him before slowly closing the door. She felt like her life was an endless series of closed doors.