Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush. I also don't own any of the songs mentioned in this chapter. They are property of Halestorm, Theory of a Deadman, Metallica, and Ester Dean and their labels. I'm just borrowing them for entertainment purposes (also because they're freaking awesome songs).
Guest#1: I'm sorry you had to wait a few days, but I'm very happy to hear that ;) Thank you for taking the time to review, I really appreciate it!
KnylonMaslow: Thank you so much! Haha that about sums James up ;) I'm so happy you're still enjoying it! And thank you for your review, I always appreciate it :)
Dana1290: Giddiness is good! Yay! I'm glad you can! Thank you so much, you're so sweet :) I'm not picky about the language you use in reviews so don't worry about it. And I don't blame you in the least. Zach may not be based off of anyone I know, but he's turned into everything I can't stand in a guy. Anyway, thank you again and thank you for reviewing! I always appreciate it :)
Guest#2: Here's your update :) And thank you so much! Also, thank you for taking the time to review, I appreciate it :)
Guest#3: Here you go :) And thank you for your review, I really appreciate it :)
THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone who has read, followed, favorited, or reviewed this story! I checked on the review count the other day out of sheer curiosity and almost screamed in excitement when I saw that there were 89 reviews! That's amazing! Thank you so, so, so much :)
A/N: Hmm...so...This chapter was supposed to be posted on Friday...and then it was supposed to be posted yesterday...which obviously didn't happen. I was trying to get chapter nine finished because I wanted to make sure I had another chapter written before I posted it, but I've been slacking on it so yeah...didn't happen. Hopefully I'll get it finished so that you guys don't have to wait too long for an update, but I make no promises.
Also, big shout out to Dana2184 who constantly has to put up with me whining "James and Katie aren't doing what I want them to do". Call me crazy all you want, but I'm a firm believer that characters have minds of their own and the proof is with these two. They never do what I tell them to. They even changed one of the major plot lines so that they could have a weekend to themselves! Oh, and I also have to thank Dana for constantly putting up with my story teasing, which I constantly do because, what can I say? I'm a story tease. Anyway, go and check out her Jatie story "Fresh Start" if you haven't already! She has two chapters up and really needs to post the third one (hint, hint, nudge, nudge). But it's so good and really original and just plain awesome. Oh, and read her other one shots while you're at it if you have the time ;) Please? Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease?
I also got a tumblr. Well, okay, I've actually had a tumblr, I made it one day when I was bored out of my mind but never did anything with it. But I've started it back up so if you're interested, my account is goldenfantasy93.
One more thing: Something is more or less revealed in this chapter, and I just want to say that the thing was planned from the beginning. Hopefully you guys will see what I mean.
Warnings: Language, innuendos, Zach is an ass, and Logan decides to shake what his mamma gave him.
Enjoy the chapter :)
Chapter Eight – Annoyance is the First Step to Acceptance
James' POV
The town of Dalton, Minnesota is essentially nothing more than a few kitschy, tourist shops and a couple of restaurants on the main drag. It gets most of its business from bored, rich Dalton Prep students who have nothing better to do than buy bumper stickers with a Viking cussing in Norwegian.
There's also a museum, a small little thing, on the history of Dalton. You can get through it in fifteen minutes if you don't stop for coffee and a piece of cheesecake in the museum's café.
The cheesecake generally slows people down.
Once you actually get outside of Dalton, however, it's all two lane freeway, with the occasional exit to small towns and cities. Occasionally Dalton Prep would arrange field trips to museums and plays in Albertson, the nearest city to Dalton. It was the second turnoff on the freeway, and was pretty much the place any of the students went if they wanted a weekend in a city.
But it wasn't where we were headed.
It wasn't until I actually got on the freeway that I realized how uncomfortable Katie looked. She was constantly fidgeting, playing with her hair and tapping her fingers against her leg, her fist clenching and unclenching. I flashed back to what she had said the day before in detention, that she had been in a car accident when she was younger and wasn't really a big fan of cars now…I kind of had to wonder just how bad the car crash had been. Chances were, it hadn't just been a fender-bender.
I glanced in the rearview mirror and caught Logan's eyes, tilting my head silently towards Katie. He nodded back, seeming to get the message.
"So, Katie," he spoke up. "Is Zach really pissed that James is going in his place?"
Katie glanced over her shoulder at him as I chuckled. "He's not thrilled. I think he's more upset that we're going without him, though."
"Why?" Carlos piped up. "Did he really think you would cancel the trip to Winchester because he missed a test?"
"Yes," she said blatantly. "That's exactly what he thought. And he's mad I refused to bow out. And of course, James and you being here just adds salt to the wound. Like I care right now."
Logan's eyebrows slotted together as he frowned. "You're mad at him? I mean, of course you are, he was being an ass about this, but…is there more to it?"
Katie leaned forward, turning on the radio. A moment later, loud guitars and a woman's screaming voice blasted from the speakers:
"'Love bites, but so do I, so do I
Love bites, but so do I, so do I
Love bites!
My lips are pale and vicious
You're foaming at the mouth
You've suffered in the darkness
I'll suck the pain right out
So come and taste the reason
I'm nothing like the rest
I'll kiss you in a way you'll never forget…about me…'"
"Holy crap!" Katie shrieked over the song. "What the heck is this?"
"It's Halestorm…Don't you like it?"
She looked at me as if I was nuts. "Who the hell sings like that?!"
"Lzzy Hale. Come on, Halestorm rocks."
She shuddered in response and flipped to the next station.
"My girlfriend's a dick magnet
My girlfriend's gotta have it
She's hot, can't stop, up on stage doing shots
Tip the man he'll ring the bell
Get her drunk she'll scream like hell – "
Katie hit the button for the next station.
"Say your prayers little one
Don't forget my son
To include everyone
I tuck you in
Warm within
Keep you free from sin
'Til the sandman he comes
Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
We're off to never never-land – "
Next station.
"They wanna see me drop it, drop it, drop it
Wanna pop it, pop it, pop it, shake that ass on the floor
You wanna see me shake it, shake it, shake it
Yeah you like it, like it, like it when I drop it down real low
Yeah boy, you like that
I can tell that you like that
Yeah boy, you love it when my booty goes
Boom, ba-ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom, boom!"
Katie turned to me. "Don't you listen to KISS?"
"Yeah, the band's awesome."
"I meant the station."
"Oh…Nope."
In the backseat, Carlos was singing along to the song:
"He told me,
Move that ass around
And move that ass around
And move that ass around
And move that ass around (He said)
Move that ass around
And move that ass around
And move that ass around
And move that ass around.
I can't stop staring at ya body
Put my hands on ya body,
You sexy for sure,
You the real deal kinda hottie
Come ride in my bogotti
Girl come drop it low.
Yeah girl I like that (oohh yeah)
I can tell that I like that (oohh yeah)
Yeah girl I love when,
When you booty goes boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom (drop ittt)
Drop it, drop it low girl."
Katie stared at him, even as Logan joined in singing. I cracked up at the expression on Katie's face and the sight of Logan in his sweater vest and pocket protector shaking his ass around in the backseat of my car.
"He told me,
Move that ass around
And move that ass around
And move that ass around
And move that ass around (He said)
Move that ass around
And move that ass around
And move that ass around
And move that ass around.
You say you like the way my
Booty booty booty booty pop
You say you like the way my
Booty booty booty booty rock
You say you like the way my
Booty booty booty booty drop, drop,
Dropped, dropped
Girl I like the way your booty booty
Booty booty pop
Girl I like the way your booty booty
Booty booty drop
Girl I like the way your booty booty
Booty booty
Boom boom boom boom
Boom boom boom (yeahehheaaa)
Drop it drop it low girl
And I told her,
Move that ass around
And move that ass around
And move that ass around
And move that ass around (He said)
Move that ass around
And move that ass around
And move that ass around
And move that ass around.
Drop it drop it low girl
Drop it drop it low
Drop it low."
"I think I've just been scarred for life," Katie informed them, shaking her head.
Logan shrugged. "If you had seen the Bling Ring like I told you to, you'd know the song."
"I didn't want to see the Bling Ring! It's about a bunch of teenagers robbing people's houses! How is that a good movie?"
"Anyway, what else did Zach do?" Logan went back to the original question.
Katie sighed. "Camille and Jo saw him flirting with another girl. Like, really flirting with her."
"As opposed to only slightly flirting with her?"
She threw him a dirty look.
"Sorry, sorry, I couldn't resist."
"Uh huh. Sure. Anyway, Cami told me last night."
"Have you asked him about it?" I spoke up.
"Not yet. I don't really want to talk to him at the moment. He's been such a jerk lately…" She shook her head. "It's just not worth it."
"Not even for your peace of mind?"
"Not even for that." She changed the station, finally settling on a pop one. I exited off the freeway a few minutes later, getting on a country road not too long after.
Just as I was about to switch lanes, Katie's phone rang. I made the change and turned into a small town about a half hour away from Winchester. Katie pulled her phone out of her purse and put it up to her ear. "What, Zach?"
I bit my lip, focusing on the road, but I couldn't tune out her end of the conversation.
"…No, I told you I wasn't cancelling the trip, I was very clear about that. I don't get why you think I would cancel it just because you did something stupid. No, Zach, it's not fair to the others, and at the moment, I'm a little more concerned about them then how you feel. No…No…Yes, James Diamond and Carlos Garcia with us, James is driving. I'm in his car…Why is that a problem? Logan and Carlos are in the car with us, it's not like he's going to – did you really just say that? Did you really just call Logan that? You know what? Screw you, you asshole." She hung up, eyes glinting furiously, her jaw set.
"What did the jackass say?" I asked offhandedly.
"It's not important. He's got issues is all I can say."
"Okay…"
"Just keep driving, it's nothing to get upset about. I just hope he has a good excuse for saying what he said."
I kept my mouth shut, not bothering to make any comments. I had a nagging feeling at the back of my mind that I knew what Zach had called Logan, and that alone made me want to punch the fucker in the mouth. And apparently Katie felt the same way, considering the way she kept furling and unfurling her fists, as if itching to hit something as hard as she could. Her jaw never relaxed and her eyes refused to soften, remaining a hard, steely brown.
I followed the rest of the GPS's instructions to Winchester and drove through the town to a road leading around to a cluster of trees. I turned onto a narrow, dirt hill, climbing upwards and emerging to overlook a gorgeous lake, surrounded by trees and several large houses. I let out a low whistle.
"Holy shit."
Katie looked up. "You like it?"
"Yeah, it's beautiful."
She smiled. "Thanks."
"I thought you said your family had a cabin. Those don't look like cabins."
She shrugged. "I under exaggerated?"
"I'll say…"
Katie turned the GPS off and directed me to the Knights' place, which in actuality was a huge three story house, styled in a log cabin fashion, with a gravel driveway winding up to the garage and wrap around decks rounding out all three floors. A rich lawn rolled out over the cliff the house was perched on, a hill sloping down to the lake's beach. It was beyond incredible, absolutely breathtaking.
I pulled into the driveway and parked, shutting off the ignition. We all unbuckled and clambered out of the car, just as Kendall, Jo, and Camille drove up beside us, parking as well. Kendall got the front door unlocked for us and we began to carry our luggage inside, piling it in the front hall. The house smelled of cedar, and the inside walls were decorated with paintings and photographs of fishes and birds.
"So, where's everyone sleeping?" Kendall spoke up. "Because I was thinking Jo and I would be in my room, like usual."
"Logan and Carlos can be together," Katie volunteered at once. "In the guest room at the end of the hall."
Kendall nodded in agreement. "That works. So…are you and Camille going to be together…or…?"
"Katie promised me the room with the twin bed," Camille piped up. "I'm going to be really disappointed if I don't get that one."
Kendall glanced back and forth between Katie and me. "You two going to be okay sharing a room?"
"It's fine," Katie said quickly. "James? You cool with it?"
"Yeah, not a problem." I nodded to show my agreement, and Kendall gave me a small smile.
We disbanded after that, heading up to our separate rooms. Katie led me to her room and pushed the door open.
I had expected a room with a lot of pink and lace and a huge canopy bed, but instead there was a sturdy, dark wood, queen sized bed covered in a pale blue and white down comforter, an equally sturdy dresser, and a built in closet. A glance out the window through the netted white curtains told me that we were facing the lake, and a sliding door led out to the balcony.
"What do you think?" Katie asked me as I stepped into the room.
"It's as beautiful as the rest of the house," I said honestly. "I really like it."
"Thanks. You were probably expecting a lot of pink and stuff."
"A little bit," I admitted. "I'm surprised."
She smirked slightly. "Well, make yourself at home."
"Will do." I set my stuff down and she followed my lead. "So, which side of the bed do you prefer?"
Katie shrugged. "I don't really have a preference. You?"
"Not really."
"Guess we'll just have to wing it."
"Guess so," I agreed as she settled her pillow at the head of the bed and plopped down on it, smoothing out the comforter around her.
"So, the bathroom's through that door – " she pointed to a door I had mistaken as a second closet – "just so you know."
I nodded. "Thanks."
"Welcome. Hey, do you know what we're doing for dinner?"
I shook my head. "No idea."
"Eh, Kendall's probably going to order pizza. We'll be living off of that this weekend," she laughed, curling her legs under her. I smiled a little as I watched her laugh, her entire face lighting up and her hair cascading down her back. She was so beautiful…I had never thought I would ever want anyone the way I wanted her. I had never even considered the idea that there might be a girl out there who could make me want to hold her and cuddle her and kiss her senseless and buy her flowers on her birthday and get her chocolate when she was sad. I wanted to kiss away her tears and just stare at her every time she laughed. I wanted to bask in her presence, be the only guy in her life, be the one she loved and wanted. Not Zach. Not anyone else. Just me.
It sounded so much like love…Something I had never wanted to experience. Because if I fell in love, then that would leave me open to being hurt, to being used, to having my heart broken. It would mean I would find myself opening up to the other person, telling them things I had never told anyone else, feeling things I had shut myself out to. Things I had never wanted to feel. And I was feeling them…God, was I feeling them. And fuck, if it wasn't both overwhelming and addictive at the same time.
All I knew was that if I didn't get out of there, I would end up doing something I would later regret. I would kiss her for real, not just a simple brush of the lips. I would plead with her to dump Zach for me. I would tell her things I didn't ever want to tell anyone.
I had to get out of there.
I backed away towards the door, still staring at Katie. "I'm going to go ask Kendall…"
She looked at me. "Okay…"
I almost dashed out of the room, closing the door behind me. This weekend was going to be a lot harder than I had thought it would be.
Katie's POV
I watched James leave, a little bit confused. His exit was so abrupt, almost like he was trying to get away from me. I furrowed my brow, staring at the closed door. Had I done something wrong? Was he upset about something?
I ran my fingers through my hair, shucking my confusion aside. If he was still acting weird at dinner, then I'd ask him about it. But he really might have just been curious about whether or not Kendall was getting pizza. It was entirely possible, especially since he was a teenage boy. I had seen from across the room the amount he ate at meals, and it was pretty astonishing. It was so unfair that he could eat that much and still look absolutely amazing.
Boys.
Hmmph.
I got to my feet and walked over to the door, locking the door. I changed out of my school uniform and slipped into jeans and a tank top, topping it off with a hoodie. A little while later, Kendall called up to me to let me know dinner had arrived, so I made my way downstairs.
Just as I had suspected, we ended up gorging ourselves on pizza. James seemed back to normal, cracking jokes and laughing, chatting with the rest of our group. Carlos and Logan seemed pretty comfortable with each other as well, exchanging anecdotes from various classes and talking about their biology class. I smiled, taking note how well James and Carlos both fit in with the others, Jo and Camille taking to them immediately, and Kendall asking James questions about his car.
Dinner went by quickly, and before long the guys retired to the living room to watch some hockey game that was on. Jo had to call her mom, and Camille was planning on auditioning for "A Midsummer's Dream", for the role of Ophelia, so she was using the evening to go over some of her lines. I ended up heading back to my room, laying across my bed and letting out a sigh. I couldn't really seem to focus on anything; my brain just felt too scattered. I knew I should be worried about that night, how James and I would manage sharing a bed, but I couldn't force myself to think about that. Instead, all I could feel was restlessness, waiting for him to come back up to the room. I was anxious, though not actually nervous. Just…I wanted him to get up here already. I had no idea what was going to happen between us this weekend, if anything was going to happen, if I was even going to be able to let anything happen, but I couldn't help but feel a little hopeful…
I sat up, just as my phone began to ring. I let out a huffy breath but grabbed it, answering it without looking at the Caller ID. "Hello?"
"Hey, Katie…"
It was Zach.
"What?" I snapped. "What do you want?"
"Look, I'm sorry about what I said about Logan. I didn't mean it – "
"You called him a – a – a F. A. G. That's not okay. You don't even have any proof that he's gay, if he even is."
"I know, and I'm sorry. I was way out of line, and I know that now. Please forgive me."
I sighed. "We'll talk about it when I get back to school, okay?"
"Why are we putting it on hold for the weekend? Is it because of Diamond?"
"Is what because of James?"
"You blowing me off. You've been really distant this past week, ever since you met him in detention. What's going on, Katie?"
"Nothing! I just don't like how you seem to be pushing and prodding me at every twist and turn. I'm not your property, Zach."
"I know you're not! I never said otherwise!"
"Look, I just…I need a break. You've been really obnoxious, and I need a break from that."
"Well, can we just talk tonight?"
"I suppose…"
"Good. I need your help. Can you help me prep for my test?"
My eyes narrowed slightly. "Is that why you called? To get my help?"
"Well, yeah. I mean, I don't know this stuff. You do. So, drill me?"
"No. You know what, forget it. I don't want to talk to you or hear from you at all this weekend. In fact, I'm breaking up with you for the weekend. We'll talk – maybe – when I get back to Dalton Prep." And with that, I hung up, sighing again. Wow. That was one heck of a lame breakup. But at least it was something…I had no plans to take him back. He would have to seriously get an attitude adjustment before he could expect me to go out with him again…or at least a really good excuse…
In all honesty, I wasn't sure I wanted to give up on our relationship quite yet. We had gone out for almost three years, and while it wasn't perfect, it wasn't awful either. But something had to give, even if it was just for a few days. Maybe all we needed was a break. Or maybe we just simply weren't meant to be…
Before I could think on that any further, the door creaked open and James slipped into the room.
"Hey," he greeted me. "Something wrong?"
"I…um…broke up with Zach. For the weekend," I clarified before he could say anything. "I don't know what's going to happen when we get back."
"Ah." He slowly nodded his head, walking over to the bed to sit down beside me. "So, he really pissed you off?"
I sighed once more. "He called Logan a F. A. G when I was talking to him in the car, and then he called me up to apologize just so that I would get him to help him prepare for a test."
He whistled. "Wow. What a prick."
"I know."
"Are you okay?" James asked me in concern. "Are you upset, or – ?"
I shrugged. "I'm okay. I don't know if this breakup is permanent. It might be, but I don't know…we have a long history. I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to let that go."
"Oh."
"But at the same time…I don't like who he's become. I really don't. And I'm not sure I really want to be with him anymore. Plus…there's that person I'm really attracted to." I sneaked a peek at him to gauge his reaction. He didn't move, didn't bat an eyelash, so I continued on. "And that's pretty confusing in itself. I'd really like to see what could happen with him, but I can't do that if Zach and I are together…"
He turned to face me. "So, I guess you need to figure out which one of us you want more."
I swallowed. "Please don't put it that way…It's not a competition."
"Because he would win."
"I didn't say that – "
"He has history with you in a way I don't. It would be natural for you to choose him."
"James, it's not that. I don't know how I'm feeling. And I'm sorry. I feel like a total flake. I'm not trying to lead either of you on, I swear. I'm just…"
"Confused," he finished for me. "Join the club."
"I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For…I don't know. I'm just sorry. I don't know why you like me."
He pressed his lips together, resting his elbows on his legs, his chin on his fist. "Because you're beautiful. Because you're smart and funny and amazing and nice. Because you have this vibrance about you that even Zach Wilder can't mute. Because in a way, you're everything I've ever wanted, and everything I can't have." He looked over at me, and I was ready for him.
Without a second thought, I closed the space between us, pressing my lips to his, and he kissed me back at once.
Kissing him was nothing like kissing Zach. It was fire and sparks and thunder and lightning, a roaring sizzle, burning and smoking and snapping, while somehow being smooth and sweet and gentle at the same time.
It was everything I could have ever imagined, and more so. He was everything I had never let myself want…every single hidden desire, every secret need. I wanted him more than anything, and as I pushed closer, his arms encircling my waist, I found myself mentally pleading with him to never let me go.
In that moment, he was my entire world, there was nothing outside of us, no one else beside us. He was mine and I was his, and that was all that mattered. Zach didn't exist, nor did the girls he had been with long before we had officially met.
If someone had told me last Friday that in exactly a week I would be making out with James Diamond in my bedroom at the Winchester lake house, I would have informed them that they were insane. But a lot had changed in a week…So much…
At last, James pulled back, breathing hard. "What – what was that for?" he asked, sounding as if he was trying to get his voice under control.
"I just…felt like it…"
"Katie…" His voice was soft, almost a caress. "You need comfort, but – "
"No. Comfort is one thing I don't need. I need you, James. I don't know how or to what extent, but there's just something about you…"
"You don't need me. Believe me, you don't. I'm not someone you want to get involved with."
"You're not a bad person. I told you that the day we met. Whatever it is that shaped you into the bad boy, it's only part of who you are. There's so much more to you than that. James…please…"
"You don't want to know what shaped me," he informed me brusquely, getting to his feet. "Believe me, you really don't."
"Yes, I do. I want to understand. Whatever it is, whatever that happened…please…just tell me."
"I've never told anyone. If I had, I would have been sent away, locked up in some sort of rehabilitation facility," he spat. "I would have been labeled a freak, and my parents would have never looked at me the same way again."
"What happened?" I pleaded. "I won't judge, I promise. And I won't tell anyone. What happened to you?"
He shook his head. "It's not…It's just…"
"Was it your stepmom?" I asked. "Did she…I mean, it's obvious you dislike her intensely."
James pursed his lips together, his eyes darkening. "Yeah. Yeah, I do."
"So, what happened? You don't have to tell me the whole story, but at least give me an idea of what it was…"
He looked at me, running his fingers through his hair. "She's abusive."
"Oh…"
"Yeah. You know, I think I'm going to go grab something to drink. You want anything?"
I shook my head. "I'm – I'm good."
"Okay." He left the room, closing the door behind him once more.
I laid back on the bed, letting out a deep breath. So…his stepmom was abusive…and I had a feeling I knew just what type of abusive she was.
Well, revelations are always fun, aren't they? Some of you probably saw that coming. Also, I know Katie probably seems flaky at this point in time, and it's on purpose. She is flaky - she's confused and wants one thing but also wants the other thing even though it's not necessarily good for her.
Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter :) And please review, I'd really appreciate. :)