Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush or anything recognizable.
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knylonMaslow: Pretty much. As always, thank you for taking the time to read and review, I really appreciate it!
InLogansBed: Thank you so much! I'm so happy you enjoyed it :) Carlos totally could. Katie definitely did. Thank you for taking the time to read and review, I really appreciate it :)
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A/N: So, I know a lot of you were pretty ticked off about the last chapter for a whole plethora of different reasons and for that I'm sorry, but everything that happened needed to happen. This chapter is a total roller coaster ride, but some things are elaborated on and explained a little bit more thoroughly. I hope it makes up for the last chapter :)
On another, self-advertising note, I recently posted a new story, "Pull The Trigger", so please check that out if you haven't already! I'd love it if you did :)
Warnings: Language, sexual innuendos, mild sexual content, and underage drinking.
Enjoy the chapter :)
Chapter Fourteen – Dinner and Parties
James' POV
I didn't tell Carlos that Katie had come by the theater to watch me audition, or that we had talked afterwards. As far as I was concerned, it wasn't really anyone's business, and chances were we weren't going to have any form of communication again, so there wasn't any point in mentioning it.
On Thursday after school, the cast and crew for Guys and Dolls were posted, and to my relief, I had managed to land the role of Sky Masterson. Rehearsals didn't begin until Monday, so I ended up texting my mother to let her know that I would be able to make dinner with her on Friday.
Friday afternoon came around, and I found myself in my dorm room, getting ready to head out to meet her.
It was almost impossible to believe that a week ago, I had been packing to head off for a weekend with Katie. How quickly things can change…
I changed out of my school uniform and instead slipped into dark rinse jeans, a black button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to my forearms, and my black Converse sneakers. I slid on my black leather jacket, pocketed my phone, wallet, and keys, before making my way out of my dorm and out to the courtyard.
I reached the parking lot a few minutes later and immediately froze. Katie was leaning up against Kendall's car, glancing at her phone ever few seconds.
This night was already off to a fantastic start.
She looked up as I headed towards her, and opened her mouth as if to greet me. Instead of saying "Hey" or "Hi" she said, "Whoa, you look nice."
"Thanks, I guess."
Katie looked me up and down, biting her lip, before reaching out and running her hand down the front of my jacket. "Hot date?"
"I'm off to meet my mom for dinner."
"Good or bad?"
"Not sure. It depends on what kind of mood she's in."
"Ah. She doesn't live around here, right?"
"No, she's in town for business."
"Ah, cool."
"Not really. She had to schedule me in."
"Oh, one of those kinds of parents." Katie nodded. "That sucks."
"A little. Anyway, waiting for your boyfriend?"
"For my brother, actually. I needed a break from Zach, so Kendall offered to go out to dinner with me."
"Ah. Well, have fun."
"Yeah, you too." She gave me a small smile. "Um…I know we're not together and that I hurt you, but I'd really like it if we at least managed to remain friends."
I leaned against the car. "Do you really think we'd ever manage to remain just friends?"
"Honestly? No," she admitted. "But it sounded nice. And at least you're not yelling at me this time."
"I'm probably going to get pissed off later tonight. I don't need to give myself a heart attack before I even get in the car."
"True. James, I really am sorry. It's really not what you think it is."
"You've said that."
"And I meant it."
"Katie, we're never going to be able to be just friends. We were practically sleeping together within a week of meeting. That doesn't exactly scream platonic."
"Not particularly," she said grudgingly.
"Like I said, if you ever decide to stand up to Wilder, come and find me. Until then…" I shrugged and headed off towards my car, climbing in and pulling out of the parking lot.
I drove through Dalton, stopping in front of The Green Tiger. I walked in, forcing a smile on my face as the hostess greeted me.
"I'm here to meet my mom," I told her. "Brooke Diamond?"
"Ah, right this way," she nodded, leading me through the crowd of tables to a small, square one standing in the corner. I could see my mom sitting there, messing with something on her phone, and I cleared my throat as the hostess headed off.
Mom looked up before getting to her feet, teetering on three inch heels as she reached over to hug me. I returned it before taking my seat.
The hostess brought me a menu and Mom picked up hers, opening it. "So, how has your semester been so far?" she asked.
I shrugged. "Busy."
"With classes or getting yourself into trouble?"
"Both."
"How many times have you gotten detention?" she wanted to know, lips pursed.
"At least twice a week. I got it every day last week," I smirked. "But don't worry, I'm hanging up my troublemaking ways for the rest of the semester."
"How come?"
"Because of the musical."
"Ah."
"Yeah. You should come to Guys and Dolls. I'm the male lead – Sky Masterson."
"That's lovely, dear. I'll see if I can pencil in a performance."
"Great. Thanks."
"James?"
I swiveled in my seat to find Kendall standing behind me, Katie a few feet back, looking like she would have liked to be anywhere but here.
"Um, hey," I greeted Kendall. "What're you doing here…?"
"Grabbing dinner with Katie. This your mom?"
I nodded. "Mom, this is Kendall and Katie Knight. Kendall, Katie, this is my mom, Brooke Diamond."
Mom gave them a perfectly fake smile, white teeth flashing like pearls under the sun. "It's nice to meet you both."
"You too," Kendall gave her an honest smile, while Katie took a couple of steps forward. "By the way," Kendall added to me, "congrats on getting the role in Guys and Dolls. Katie told me you completely killed the audition yesterday."
"Thanks."
"It's true," Katie piped up. "You really were amazing, you deserve the part. Mrs. Diamond, you need to see James perform, he's incredible. He should be on Broadway he's so good."
"I was just telling James that I would try to see one of his performances," Mom replied. "When will it be?"
"December," I told her. "I think the first two weeks."
"I don't know if I can make it, I might be out of the country."
"Of course. You always are…"
"You know, your son has real talent," Katie said to Mom. "If I were you, I'd actually do my best to come and see him."
"I don't see what business it is of yours."
"I'm just saying, I think he'd really like it if you came to see him perform." She shrugged and gave me a small smile. "I'll see you back at school."
"Yeah…see you at school."
She opened her mouth as if to say something else, but closed it and followed Kendall towards their own table, leaving me alone with my mother once again.
Mom narrowed her eyes at me. "Who exactly is Katie to you?"
"A friend."
"Just a friend?"
"I'm not talking about this with you. Can we just order and pretend to actually get along for an hour?"
"I want to hear about Katie," Mom replied.
"There's nothing going on."
"Please. I saw the way you two were looking at each other. And it's not every day that you actually seem to care about a girl."
"Oh, dear God…"
A waitress approached us a moment later and took our orders, before Mom turned to me again. "So, are you two dating?"
"No. She has a boyfriend."
"That's…unfortunate."
"Yes. Yes, it is."
"So, you like her?"
"She's no one."
"You're lying."
"How do you even know that?!"
"I was fishing. So, what are you two?"
"We're nothing." I pushed my bangs out of my face. "She chose her boyfriend over me."
"Is there more to it than that?"
"I don't know. She says there is, but she won't tell me what it is. All I know is that she's scared of Zach – her boyfriend."
"Mmm…" Mom pressed her lips together. "Is he abusive?"
"Hell if I know. I don't think so, but he's a complete asshole, so he might be. We got into a fight in the cafeteria on Monday morning."
"What happened?" she asked as she took a sip of water.
"He didn't like that I spent the weekend with Katie."
She choked. "You spent the weekend with another guy's girlfriend?!"
"They were taking a break. It was like Vegas – you know, what happens there, stays there. Except that I had accidentally packed one of Katie's necklaces and I had to return it to her."
"That would definitely piss someone off."
"It would. Anyway, why do you even care? Katie and I aren't together and probably never will be."
"Because I never hear you talk about girls."
"I don't see why it matters. Why are you more interested in my love life than in my acting?"
"Because there are things that I want for you. I'd like to see you settle down and marry a nice girl one day, while I'm really not thrilled with the idea of you trying to begin a career on Broadway or in film. You know I want you to one day take over Diamond Cosmetics, and you can't do that if you're constantly performing."
"But that's what you want for me – not what I want."
"I'm your mother, James. I know what's best for you."
"You don't know shit. You practically dropped me off on Dad's and Kimberly's doorstep the second you could get away. You only see me a couple times a year. You don't know me and you never will."
"You're wrong," she said softly. "I know it seems like that now, because you're upset and – "
"I wasn't upset until you started telling me what I'm supposed to do with my life. I know what I want."
"I'm not paying for you to go to Juilliard."
"I'm going to try for a scholarship."
Mom tilted her head back and laughed. "Who the hell would ever give you a scholarship with your track record? Juilliard isn't going to want you, not with your habit of talking back to your teachers and blowing stuff up and getting detention."
"I don't blow stuff up…"
"You might as well. Anyway, you're never going to get into a decent college without my help, and I'm not going to pay for you to major in theater. No son of mine is going to waste their life singing and dancing on stage."
"Why? Because you can't sing or dance? Because you're so fucking controlling and manipulating that you can't see what's right in front of you?" I got to my feet. "Fuck this. If you really gave a damn about me, you'd take a couple of days off to come and see me in Guys and Dolls. You'd support me unconditionally. Acting and singing are the only things that I've been consistent with, no thanks to you."
Mom stood up as well, crossing her arms. "How the hell am I supposed to support you unconditionally when you've spent the last few years doing everything you can to get yourself arrested?!"
"Maybe you should think about why I was doing all the shit I was doing!"
"Right, because Kimberly's a child molester."
"That wasn't a lie. Why the fuck would I lie about being abused?!"
"To get out of class? To get a free pass on stuff?"
"I told a guidance counselor so that I could get help!"
"The woman's, like, eighty pounds, James. There is no way she would do what you said she did."
"You're so fucking blind. I don't even know why I try." I turned on my heel and stormed out of the restaurant. I slid into my car, breathing hard. Seeing my mother was always so much fun, especially when we started fighting in the middle of dinner.
Some things never changed.
This wasn't the first time we had had a fight about the fact that I had gone to a school counselor about Kimberly. Neither of my parents had believed me, and my dad had made sure I was thoroughly punished for my accusations, while my mom had called me a liar.
And then they wondered why I wanted nothing to do with them. My mom couldn't even take a couple of hours out of her schedule to come and see me play the lead role in a musical, and yet she expected me to follow the plan she had mapped out for my life.
I don't fucking think so.
I ended up driving over to a nearby pizza place, sitting down in a corner booth as I ate my slice of pepperoni pizza, trying to figure out why I had been born into such a fucked up family.
When I was younger, I had tried to figure out what I had done to deserve all the shit that my family and stepmother had put me through. First a divorce, then practically abandonment by my mother; then abuse by my stepmother, and then accused of being a liar by both of my parents. I was twelve when I had gone to the counselor, desperately seeking help because I didn't know who else to go to. My dad and Kimberly were friends with the police chief, so that was out, and it wasn't like my mother was ever around, so I couldn't go to her. Everyone always said that if you had a problem to go to the school counselor. And she had tried to help me, but when your own father calls you a "fucked up drama queen", there's generally not a lot anyone can do. Eventually I had stopped feeling sorry for myself and had toughened the fuck up, refusing to really show how truly screwed up I really was.
It was just a fact of life. I was as screwed up as my family. I had long since accepted it, but that didn't mean that I wasn't still occasionally stunned by how insanely messed up my parents were. And tonight was one of those nights when it would have been nice if my mother had actually thought about someone other than herself for once in her life. I was always accused of being an attention seeker, but what was the point of trying to be in the middle of everything when no one even wanted to give you the time of day?
I nibbled miserably at my pizza, suddenly feeling lonelier than I had in ages, maybe years. The pizza parlor was cold, and I huddled under my jacket, wishing that I had thought to text Carlos to see if he was interested in eating with me. Even if Dak and Jett had been there…at least I wouldn't have been by myself. I had been alone for so much of my life that I usually wouldn't realize how lonely I was until I had just been in a group of people.
I finished my pizza and headed out, driving back to the school. I parked and made my way to my dorm, going on in and locking myself in. I collapsed on my bed, slipping my earbuds in and blasting Killswitch Engage and Bullet For My Valentine, letting myself drown in the music. I had a whole playlist dedicated to my encounters with my parents, mostly made up of heavy metal and hard rock.
It was while the tracks were in the process of switching themselves out that I heard it: A light, polite tapping at the door.
Furrowing my brow, I put my iPod on pause and pushed myself up, heading over to the door, earbuds still trailing from my ears. I opened the door and paused when I saw Katie standing there, twisting her fingers together and rocking back and forth slightly.
Plucking the earbuds out, I leaned against the doorway. "Something I can help you with?"
"I just…yeah…kind of…I mean…I just wanted to see you."
"Have you broken up with Zach?"
"No – "
I made to slam the door shut, but she stuck her foot in between the door itself and the frame, wedging her body in.
"What the hell?" I grunted, the door finally falling shut once Katie was completely inside my room. "What the fuck are you doing?"
"I told you, I wanted to see you."
"And you saw me. Now leave."
"James – "
"No. You haven't broken up with Zach, you won't tell me what he's threatened you with, you haven't stood up to him, and there's no way in hell we can be just friends. I'm not going to be fucked with, Katie. I get enough of that from my family, and I sure as hell don't need it from you."
"So, the dinner with your mom didn't go well?"
"Dinner with my mom never goes well. You can leave now."
"No. We can have a rational conversation." She crossed her arms, bottom lip jutting out stubbornly.
"I don't think your boyfriend would like that very much."
"He'll live."
"You know, I don't get you." I threw myself onto my bed, glaring at her. "You don't seem to have realized that the second you went back to Zach it was over between us."
"Zach and I aren't going to last forever, James. Once he gets what he wants out of me, he'll dump me."
"And what is it that he wants out of you, Katie? Sex?"
"Actually no."
"Then what is it?"
"My reputation."
"Your – what?"
"My reputation. The whole good girl thing reflects really well on him, so he gets away with a lot of stuff that he normally wouldn't get away with. He's only with me because of that."
"So dump his sorry ass."
"I can't do that."
"Right, because he threatened you. I'm not going through this with you again, Katie. We can't be alone in the same room together because every time we are, something happens. And as much as I would love to go behind Zach's back with you, my reputation is already fucked up enough without everyone finding out that I really did steal Mr. Popular's girlfriend. And your reputation will be completely ruined if that happens, and you actually have to deal with these people for another couple of years."
"It has nothing to do with the fact that you're morally against cheating."
"Look, I don't love it, and I think it's a really rotten thing to do, but it happens. But I won't assist someone with it."
"Fair enough. So, what happened with your mom at dinner tonight? I saw you storm out of The Green Tiger."
"She's a self-centered bitch who doesn't have any time for me and tells herself I'm a liar so that she can sleep at night." I got up, beginning to pace out of my room, my anger and frustration wafting out like fumes through a chimney vent.
"She sounds like a wonderful mother…"
"Yeah, she pretty much sucks rocks at it. She and my dad could use a few classes in parenting."
"It sounds like it. Do you see your mom very often?"
"Not at all, usually only when I go to stay with her during Christmas break."
"And then you stay with your dad the rest of the time?"
"I stay with Carlos during spring break, and then usually for some of summer vacation. But yeah, the rest of summer break I spend with my dad."
"Your mom doesn't even try to get you to spend spring or summer break with her?"
"Nope." I popped the P. "She and my dad don't really give a shit about me. As long as I'm alive, they don't really care. I mean, my mom might. She says she loves me, and I think she does, but I'm not the son she wanted."
"Maybe she should try reexamining her own life before blaming you," Katie suggested. "Or maybe she should question your dad and stepmom."
"Maybe. But she won't do it. It's easier to convince herself that I'm a pathological liar, rather than accept that maybe things aren't as perfect as she likes to believe they are."
"Which is stupid. There's a difference between being a troublemaker because you're a spoiled brat, and acting out. I knew the second I looked at you in detention that something wasn't right, that you weren't just looking for attention. I could see it in your face, in your eyes. You were almost too cautious. If you were a player, just looking for the next lay, you wouldn't have given a crap that I had a boyfriend. It's not fair that you get judged like that by everyone in your life. No one should ever have to deal with that."
"Thanks," I said quietly. "I – that's kind of good to hear."
She smiled at me sadly. "And I'm sorry. If I actually thought I had a choice in the matter, I would have chosen you over Zach in a heartbeat."
"Thanks," I said again.
"I should probably leave…"
"Probably…"
Katie didn't make a move for the door, and I just continued to look at her. She met my gaze, and for a long moment we stared at each other, neither saying or doing anything. The next thing I knew, she was in my arms and her lips were pressed against mine and she was pushing closer, fingers entwined in my hair as I pulled her towards the bed. She moaned, jumping into my arms as she forced her tongue into my mouth, yanking hard at my hair, and I bit at her lip, earning a throaty whimper.
She nipped back at me, catching my bottom lip between her teeth and tugging. We collapsed on the bed together, and I rolled her under me, pinning her hands over her head as she wrapped her legs around my waist, pulling me plush against her.
She whined into the kiss, hands sliding down to the back of my neck, fingers unknowingly trailing the scar she had become so fascinated with, before moving down to the buttons of my shirt, ripping them open before pushing it off my shoulders. I hitched her skirt around her waist, unbuttoning her blouse so that I could fasten my lips to the swell of her breast, her head falling back as her hips jerked into mine.
"James…" she moaned out, fingers clawing at my hair again, and I lifted my head to kiss her once more, her lips eagerly meeting mine, my tongue slipping into her mouth as easy as counting to three.
And then there as the sound of a heavy techno beat from next door and Katie and I broke apart.
Her eyes widened in shock and my heart thudded painfully loud against my ribcage. Oh, shit…
There was a long pause as we stared at each other with a mixture of desperation, desire, and horror, and then everything sped up as we scrambled to fix ourselves, not even looking at each other.
"Um…" Katie said meekly once her blouse was buttoned properly. "I'm just going to…go…I have to go meet up with Zach…"
I nodded stoically, and she dashed out of the dorm as if someone had just thrown a burning brick through the window.
And I was once again alone.
I glanced at the iPod that was now lying silently on my bed, but just couldn't bring myself to snatch it up. I didn't want to spend the night locked in my dorm. I wanted to feel alive, needed, wanted, just like I had when Katie had kissed me. I wanted that more than anything, and if I couldn't have it with her…
I paced the room, ripping my fingers through my hair. My body was a live wire, craving something that had been forced upon me, something that I would never get with Katie.
I couldn't have her, but I could replicate what I had gotten in the couple of minutes I had spent with her. And there was no reason to feel guilty, either. She was with Zach, she had chosen him over me, she was still kissing him, making out with him, doing who the hell knows what with him. We weren't together and we never would be. Once again, she had chosen Zach over me. And I was fucking sick and tired of being second choice.
And with that thought, I left my dorm room, in search of a party.
I found one in the basement of Bastille Hall, not at all surprised. It was the party scene on the weekends. Kids usually managed to get their hands on a keg or two, and others would bring in pizza and chips.
I could hear the throbbing, techno beat of Basshunter as I walked into the basement, grinning a little at the neon lights and leather seats the room was furnished with, giving it a lowlife club feeling.
I couldn't be alone tonight. I wouldn't be.
It was with that thought that I grabbed a beer and began to make the rounds, finally reaching a pretty brunette who reminded me a little of Katie. By that time I was on my fourth beer, and I was definitely feeling it – it was exactly what I wanted. As I moved towards her, I took her in, taking another sip from my drink. The girl's light brown hair fell in long curls down her shoulders and over her back, and her dark brown eyes were lined with black. She smiled at me as I approached, and I bent down, murmuring everything I knew she wanted to hear in her ear.
Within fifteen minutes, she was leading me out of the basement, hand in mine, pulling me out of Bastille Hall and into the courtyard, before reaching up and pressing her lips to mine, hot and foreign.
I let her drag me towards her dorm building and up the stairs to her room, where she pushed me through the door and kissed me once more.
She wasn't Katie, but for tonight, she would do.
Okay, so maybe this chapter didn't make up for the last one...So, um...sorry? This isn't the end of the story, though! There's still more to come! Just please bear with this story a little longer. Anyway, please review, and if this story isn't updated by the 31st, Happy Halloween!