Happy Halloween! *Starts singing Monster Mash*
Ok so first off I've joined National Novel Writing Month this year. This means I might update only every other week during November (also i'm gonna cry a lot) Sorry ahead of time.
On with the show! Enjoy ;D
~Changes~
As time passes life before Shades begins to feel like a distant memory. A dream slipping way in the light of the dawn. Like Clara's past is bleaching out the same way the colors do here. She sits at the vanity waiting for her reflection to give her an answer to a question she hasn't formed.
Clara instinctively grabs a letter opener when the bedroom door flies open. Amy sails in beaming, red hair flying, arms thrown out. Vastra and Jenny are right behind here carrying the morning tea service. They are obviously fighting to keep their faces straight. Clara drops the blade relaxing her posture hoping they didn't notice.
"Guess who kissed Rory Williams!" Amy says smugly, prancing around the room.
"Jenny?" Clara can't resist. She smirks at the look Amy shoots her.
"Well I certainly hope not." Vastra brushes Jenny's dark hair back from her temple tucking it behind her ear affectionately. Clara was right about them. According to Amy they've been together since the dawn of time.
"I was starting to think he was gay." Amy explains, flopping onto the bed dramatically. She nearly disappears into the coverlet. "I'd never seen him take an interest in a girl once! But it was because he likes me and didn't think I was interested!"
"I take it you made your interest know." Clara leaves her pointless vigil at the mirror and jumps on the mattress next to her friend.
She curls onto her side watching the side of the girl's face. Amy turns red smiling at the sheer canopy above them. Clara can't help grinning too, she loves seeing her friend this happy. Vastra and Jenny snuggle into the small sofa beside the stone fireplace. It's a warm, quiet moment for all of them.
"Once I wheedled it out of him, I might have attacked him." Amy starts giggling uncontrollably covering her face with her palms. A flush spreads down her neck. "Afterwards I punched him on the shoulder, said 'see you later', and skipped off."
Jenny snorts. Clara can picture it now. Hurricane Amy blowing through like the holy terror she is and knocking out poor, hapless Rory in her path. The guy is doomed.
"You're terrible!" Clara laughs. "You really just left him standing there?"
"Frozen like a Nightmare in sun light."
Fate or whatever deity sent the girls to her has Clara eternal gratitude. They never fail to make her day better. Honestly, there's no way she could get through this without them. And it's strange because Clara feels like she's known them forever. As if this morning routine of warm tea and laughter has always been part of her life. It's so easy with them. She fits right in with loud and boisterous Amy, calm, assertive Vastra, and Jenny the glue which holds them all together.
They know about Clara and John too. She couldn't keep something like that from them. On some core level Clara knows she can trust the girls implicitly. They will never betray their secrets. Also they've been helping her meet with John without attracting attention.
Vastra wasted no time in impressing upon her the danger she's putting John in by continuing a relationship with him. As if the thought doesn't already scare her enough. He doesn't have the luxury of the protection of royal blood, assumed or not. At the same time all three of them want Clara to be happy. 'While you can' was how Vastra phrased it.
Everyone knows there's an expiration date on all of this. The date of the wedding was moved up by the Queen. Officially because it's what's best for both kingdoms to relieve the tensions through royal union as soon as possible. Clara knows it's because this gives her less time to find a way of the deal. Something the Queen will never let happen. And now she has less than a month.
Today they meet in the library. John is waiting for her at a table in the furthest, most dust ridden section of the stacks. The names of the books are faded and forgotten, their covers untouched for decades. The musty, sweet air is heavy and intoxicating. No one will find them here.
John stands to pull her into his arms. He holds her gently running his fingers through her loose hair. Clara sighs, breathing him in. She could stay like this forever. Just them in their own world where they're safe. Then Clara can pretend they have more time. She can forget that she has to go on the horrendous facsimile of a public date with the Prince tonight.
John pulls away only enough that he can press a little kiss to the tip of her nose. "You look beautiful." He tells her while his ears turn red.
He's so confident and awkward at the same time. Clara wonders how he manages being such an oxymoron. One minute he's the knight in shining armor and the next he's the shy guy in math class. It's kind of adorable.
Clara rolls her eyes. "You always say that."
She kisses him, pulling his bottom lip between her own. John's hand finds the back of her neck, fingertips trailing lightly over the exposed skin. It's languid and unhurried. Tongues running against each other, teeth teasing sensitive skin.
And it's not enough.
They see each other nearly every day when they aren't playing their respected rolls in the palace. They kiss, they hold hands, they talk. Nothing more. It's too fast, too risky. Clara feels this pull every time they touch, but she ignores it, she pushes it down. She's happy simply being with John. The want. The hunger. The need. It's there burning in the back ground, but it's beyond the physical.
Clara wants to show John what she feels for him in ways that words can't. Because looking into his eyes now, feeling his smile against her skin, Clara knows. It's crazy, and improbable, and poorly timed. And that changes nothing.
She's in love with John.
Maybe he can sense the change in her. Maybe he's thinking the same things. Whatever the reason, John presses her back against the stone wall. Clara makes a soft sound when he rolls his hips against hers. Fire is coursing through her veins spurred on by the quickening of her heartbeat. His mouth sucks at the pulse point on her throat. It's delirious.
Clara moves against him desperate for friction. Taking his jaw in her hand she brings John's mouth back to hers. Their lips don't meet instead the pause breathing each other in, eyes locked. The pure want in his eyes nearly makes Clara come undone.
"Clara." He murmurs, voice wrecked, before closing the space between them.
She moans into his mouth when John rolls against her harder. This needs to stop but she doesn't want to, she doesn't care. Clara loves the feel of his hands on her waste, the texture of his skin under his shirt.
"I want you." It's the most daring and most vulnerable thing she's ever said.
John rests his forehead against Clara's softly. "If I could have anything in the universe I would chose you. I would take you away from here and show you the stars. I'd never let you go."
A single tear escapes her eyes when Clara whispers, "I know."
They sink to the floor where John pulls her into his lap. He wraps his arms around her and she listens to the sound of his heartbeat. Holding each other they pretend this is forever.
Warning: Rough Waters Ahead...