First off, thank you all for your lovely comments! They mean so much to me XD
I'm so sorry for the delay on this update, I've just been really busy with two jobs and finals... ewww
Enjoy!
~Stars and Blood~
Love. He said love. Clara thinks she might be imagining things, yet the way John presses his lips to hers, soft, devoid of lust, only affection, is starting to convince her.
Clara falls into the kiss. How could she have wanted to give this up? John makes her feel complete; filling a part of her she never knew was missing. He's right, there has to be another way. Nothing that feels so perfect could be the wrong choice.
She smiles into the kiss before pulling back, "I love you too."
John's amazed smile could block out the sun it is so brilliant. He seems almost bewildered. "Why?"
Clara lets out a bright peel of laughter. "Because I just do, stupid. I could ask you the same thing."
"And I could give you a million reasons." He says. "None of them would be enough to explain it; words cannot do my feels justice."
"Exactly." She turns her head to kiss the center of his palm.
John folds her into his arms and Clara listens to the sound of his heart letting it wash away all her fears. There is a way out of this. A way to stop a war and not lose herself in the process. They only have to find it.
"I am surely going to the Darkness for this." John murmurs into her hair. "But I will never stop fighting for you."
Clara knows she's selfish, knows she's only putting him at risk. "How can I ever deserve you?"
He pulls back to look down into her eyes, expression serious. "How can you even ask something like that? You are willing to forsake your own happiness for the people of this country. All I have done is risk your honor by pursuing you with no promise of marriage. In all regards that makes me no better than a cad."
Clara can't resist an embarrassed giggle. Wow, she really should've seen this one coming considering how everything else works in Shades. John thinks she's still a virgin. Granted she's not very experienced, just one boyfriend in collage, but still. And if John thinks he needs to protect her honor that probably means he's a virgin too. Again, wow.
"What?" He questions confused by her response.
"It's just that things are a little different where I come from. People don't care about sex before marriage. At least most people don't."
Clara suppresses another smile when a flush creeps up John's neck. She doesn't want to embarrass him or hurt his feelings. For a moment he can't speak, he keeps opening his mouth but nothing comes out.
Finally John clears his throat with an awkward cough. "Have you - umm?"
She can't hold back her grin anymore. "My mythical virtue is not intact, no."
A whole slew of emotions play across his face, surprise, want, embarrassment, but she isn't expecting the anger that flashes in his eyes. For a horrible second Clara's afraid that it's directed at her. Considering the way John was raised turning away from her because she isn't "pure" wouldn't be all that shocking. But it's quickly apparent that isn't what is bothering him.
"A man took you into his bed without any promise of marriage and then he left you. The fiend! He ought to be clapped in irons!"
"Did you really just say 'ought'?"
John isn't listening, preoccupied with his outrage which Clara figures she should take as a compliment. It may be outdated and sexist, but chivalry was actually kind of nice. As long as John recognized she could take care of herself, it feels pretty good to be treated like a lady.
"I broke up with him if it makes you feel any better." Clara rolls her eyes, placing a hand on his forearm to calm him down. "Like I said, things are different where I come from. Women can do the seducing and the dumping, and lots of women are single mothers raising a family with no man involved at all."
John raises his nearly invisible eyebrows at that. He opens and closes his mouth like a befuddled fish. The man really is quite the dork for a knight.
"It's not that I believe women incapable of handling themselves or anything. I'm fully aware Donna could not only take me down but also yell until my ears bled. That is simply a big idea to wrap my mind around."
"Don't worry, I understand." It isn't like she's going to pressure him or anything. That sounds silly even to herself. Not that she doesn't want to … well Clara's certainly had one or two dozen odd fantasies about John in the last few weeks and she knows from their afternoon in the library she can easily make him lose his head. But she doesn't want to manipulate the situation; physical intimacy has nothing to do with how she feels about him.
Clara reaches up to touch John's face softly. "This is all I need; you here with me."
The lines around his eyes deepen when his face relaxes into a smile. She feels like her chest is expanding with a glowing warmth building inside her. It is amazing that Clara can find happiness even with everything on the line. Yet even the dimmest light glows brighter in the darkness. John is her light, her star in a black, cold universe.
"There is nothing I can do."
The words make Clara's universe that much darker. Martha watches her sympathetically from her place beside the fire in Rose's living room. The witch plays with one of her necklaces obviously trying to think of something more to say.
"A blood spell can only be lifted by the castor, not even the most powerful warding spell can protect someone from the call of blood. Blood is the key to the heart, the vessel of the soul. There is nothing in this realm or any other stronger."
"So I'm trapped." It isn't a question, merely a statement of fact. Clara doesn't look at John who has gone ridged beside her on the little sofa. "Unless I can convince Viola to let me go."
"Or you kill her." Martha adds matter-of-factly.
"How about we don't discuss regicide while inside the palace?" Rose gives Martha a look clearly questioning her sanity. "What we need to do is figure out what really happened to Oswin. I'm convinced that is what shall get us out of this mess. Beyond getting away from the Prince, who had the most to gain from her disappearance?"
Everyone falls silent thinking it over. Clara has been asking herself that same question every day since she got here. The war is the last thing Viola wants even if Clara wouldn't put it past her to harm her own daughter. The king actually seems to care, well, when he's lucid anyway. And Harold wants Oswin as a trophy which took the Gray court out. Really the only person who never appeared to be pleased by her supposed return is …
"Lavender."
It is so obvious Clara's tempted to smack herself in the head for not seeing it before. Who had the most to gain by Oswin's disappearance? How about the girl who would never become Queen with her alive?
"She wants my spot on the throne."
John lets out a worried breath, rubbing his jaw while considering it. "But how did she do it?"
"How should I know? But it has to be her!" Clara jumps to her feet and starts pacing back and forth, her tiny frame practically vibrating with excitement. She's right, she knows she is!
Rose cautions her. "You cannot simply accuse a member of the royal family of murder." She scrutinizes Clara's face closely. "We still have no proof Oswin is even dead. And that is what we need proof. We need to prove Lavender is involved before we can do anything."
"How are we supposed to do that?" Clara cries exasperated, she just wants this over with.
"I think I know." Martha puts in. "I've been looking into ways to travel between realms for a way to get you back to yours. Most of the texts on the subject are quite esoteric as you might imagine, but during my research I realized one of the books is missing from the library. Whoever has that book has our answers and if you are correct then Lavender is the one who has it."
"A book, like the prophecy said." John says. "It may not be enough to convince anyone else but it will at least connect Lavender if we find it."
Clara frowns. "But why would she get rid of Oswin only to bring me, her doppelganger, here to take her place? That's what I can't figure out."
No one has answer.