So the Christmas Special happened... commiserating hugs for everyone.
I didn't want this particular chapter to coincide with the ep so sorry about that in advance.
Warning: If you are squeamish about violence this might be a hard chapter for you.
*goes and hides*
~Snow~
She wakes with the first light that filters through the curtains. Shaking off the dregs of sleep Clara wonders why she can't move, then she feels the arm wrapped tightly around her middle. John is curled around her, a long line of heat against her body.
She smiles enjoying the sensation as memory of the best night of her life floods through her. A warm glow spreads through the blood in her veins filling Clara completely. It seems so cheesy, but the way John makes her feel is as if she swallowed the sun.
Carefully moving his hand Clara rolls to face him. John's hair is a mess and his lips look very tempting. Clara decides to wake him the best way she knows how. Kissing him into wakefulness is a fun task. She rolls on top of him grinning as he fights sleep to catch up with her, hands reaching up to tangle in her hair.
"Morning." He mumbles with a laugh between her kisses. Blinking up at her John takes in her impish expression and the fact she's straddling him. His eyes widen subtly. "Morning." He repeats.
Clara giggles. "You know we have at least an hour before anyone comes to collect me." She says coyly trailing a finger down his abdomen.
"Do we?" John's breath hitches when her finger goes lower.
He seems to lose the power of speech entirely as Clara lowers her mouth to taste him fully. The next several minutes are lost to sensation that ends with John gasping her name breathlessly. Clara loves that she is the one who can make him come undone like this. She crawls back up his body to kiss John's mouth again. This is what she needs: just them.
"You are perfect." His touch and words have a reverence that makes her blush. He treats her like a goddess, even as he flips their positions so he can give Clara the same treatment she gave him. He's a very quick learner. Fingers tighten in the pale lilac sheets and John slides down her body making her forget everything except the feel of him.
It is nearly time for John to make his escape via the rope ladder Jack left coiled in the corner. Clara snuggles closer to his side at the thought. She can't stand the idea of him leaving, of having to pretend none of this ever happened. Of her own unwanted marriage.
"I don't want you to go." She admits in a whisper.
John sighs and sits up lifting her with him. He pulls Clara into his lap resting his hands against her waist lightly. "If I had any choice I would stay here with you in this room for the rest of eternity, my impossible girl."
She likes the way he uses the Bad Wolf's name for her. Clara drops her gaze to where her fingers rest against his chest, knowing he will understand her next words. "I don't think I can do this."
He uses a hand to lift her chin, trailing kisses along her jaw line, the corner of her mouth, and finally her lips. His lips tease a smile out of her. "You can do anything. If there is one thing I have learned since meeting you, it is that. You can get through this illegal sham of a wedding and once you have drugged him come to me. I will wait for you."
Clara's response is a kiss with a desperation that surprises even her.
Vastra and the girls arrive with the purpose of an invading army to get her ready for the wedding that will take place in just a few hours time. Despite the circumstances they are determined to make Clara the most beautiful bridge anyone has ever seen. As Crown Princess people expect nothing less and my god were there going to be people. The guest list for the Marriage Ball numbers in the hundreds.
Clara keeps repeating a mantra in her head to get through all the combing, buffing, and washing without getting sick. She will see John tonight. She just has to make it through the day and then she can see him again. It will be their wedding night; at least that's what Clara forces herself to believe.
"'ere, you need to drink this." Jenny's soft voice breaks into her thoughts.
Clara raises an eyebrow at the cup of strange smelling, pink colored tea being handed to her. It doesn't smell bad exactly, just really weird. "Umm... What is it?"
Vastra gives her a very steady stare. "A plant extract which prevents women from producing children."
She turns red suddenly understanding her friend's expression. "You've been talking to Jack, haven't you?"
Amy burst out in a fit of giggles which seem out of place in the somber atmosphere. "Everybody knows Jack and since you told him we were in the loop he … well…. Kept us in the loop." She squeezes Clara in an excited hug. "I can't believe you corrupted a Knight. Good job."
No one can keep a straight face after that particular comment. This is exactly what Clara needs right now: distraction, something to keep her mind off reality. So she laughs and drinks the bitter tea.
Before long the girls are finished and they allow Clara to see the final product. She steps up to the mirror and doesn't recognize herself. Her reflection in the white and gold gown looks almost ethereal. The light makeup accents her features perfectly and her hair is twisted up elegantly atop her head. She looks like a queen; she wants to smash the mirror.
A knock at the door makes Clara jump. Amy rushes over to open it and one of the last people Clara wants to see walks in.
"If I could have a moment alone with my daughter." Viola says pointedly forcing Amy, Jenny, and Vastra to leave the room. She waits until the close the door behind them before speaking. "The dress suits you."
"Fuck you." Clara says crossing her arms.
The Queen laughs delightedly at her complete lack of propriety. "I see you are not concerned for your own wellbeing anymore which makes what I have come to say that much more important."
She is sick of being threatened. "And what's that?"
"Oh, only that it is no longer your safety you need to be concerned with. If you try to mess up today's events in any way, if you deviate from the ceremony at all, I will have him killed."
Clara's mouth falls open. How? That's all she can think.
Viola smiles her wicked grin. "Did you really think I wouldn't find out? You managed to seduce the most honorable man in either Kingdom, a feat which deserves praise in and of itself. But know that I will not hesitate to act against John Smith if I am forced to."
The Queen nods her head in a mock bow and turns on her heel. She pauses beside the door. "Hopefully the Prince finds your bed pleasing as well, whether it's used or not."
The wedding itself goes so fast Clara can hardly remember it. The Grand Chapel - at least that's what she calls it - is lavishly decorated. Everything is crystal and gold to match her dress. There are so many people watching as the king leads her down the aisle. They all smile as if this was something to be happy about.
She stands silently beside Harold Saxon while the minster makes a speech about the gods and Light and Darkness and a bunch of other things she doesn't care about. Clara is on autopilot. She repeats her vows under a name that isn't hers. She extends her arm so the minster can wrap a gray and violet ribbon around there wrist to symbol their union.
And like that it is over.
Harold takes her arm and leads her to the Wedding Ball. If he says anything she doesn't hear it. They lead the dances, spinning in and out of the other partners. Clara focuses on the steps and not the continued congratulations she receives. It seems like she dances with everyone in the room.
The party is a work of art in itself. Crystal goblets, gold plates, glowing flowers that fill the air with sweet perfume. All the guests are in their finest; Clara has never seen so much lace in her life. Sparkling gowns and tailored suits, diamonds, pearls, and gems cover every finger and hang from every neck. And the music weaves them all together perfectly.
They eat - well everyone else does, Clara only pretends - and listen to speeches from dignitaries and members of both royal families about love and honor. It is the first time she's really seen anyone else from the Gray Court. The Queen, though beautiful, could be a wall for as much personality as she shows. Harold's five sisters look equally beat down making her wonder just what life is like for women in their kingdom. The King is much like his son so Clara avoids looking at him.
Then before she knows it Harold lifts her bridal style from her seat to the cheers of the guests. He kisses her and Clara forces herself to not pull away. The crowd throws flowers as they part a path for them to the door.
"Time to go, my dear." He says as he carries her from the ballroom. They are headed to the marriage chamber which has been prepared for the wedding night. Apparently it is a royal tradition.
She catches one of the flowers and thinks of little Olive in the square.
Pouring the contents of the black bottle into one of the wine goblets on the dresser is easier than she expected. Harold is too busy removing his caplet to see what she is doing.
"How about a drink?" she says hoping she isn't being too obvious turning to face him.
"Marvelous." He grins wolfishly stepping forward and placing his hands on the dresser on either side of her.
Clara tries to smile despite how close he is and reaches behind her to hand him the glass she drugged. Taking her own glass she sips the liquid prompting him to do the same. Harold drains it quickly. Now all she as to do is wait.
Clara smile for real this time.
Setting down the empty goblet, Harold's hands slid down the front of her bodice. "Now why don't we get you out of that dress?" He purrs leaning down to nuzzle her neck.
"Get away from me!"
Clara shoves him away in disgust. How can he even think she would willingly sleep with him? Hasn't she been clear enough already? In a few minutes the drink will take effect then she can get the hell out of here. That can't happen soon enough.
Fury flashes in Harold's eyes, an unreasonableness Clara's never seen before and it terrifies her. He lunges forward grabbing her hair viciously. She cries out at the sudden pain as he drags her towards him.
"I told you I would expect you to act like a wife." Harold hisses closing his other hand over her throat.
Clara thrashes wildly panic chocking her thoughts as he squeezes off her airway. Beating on his arms and prying at his fingers does nothing. She tries to kick, to knee him in the groin, but nothing lands. Her movements are slowing down; her limbs are no longer under her control. Horror fills her, it's as if -
A smug grin creeps across Harold's features when the realization hits her. "Your attempt at subterfuge was clever but in vain, my dear. You see, I switched the glasses behind your back."
Oh god this isn't happening. Renewing her fight Clara claws at him desperate to escape before the full effects kick in. Raking her nails across his face causes Harold to lose his hold momentarily. Wrenching free Clara runs for the door, only her legs are unsteady beneath her. The drug makes her stumble into the wall.
"Bitch!" He roars seizing her and dragging her back while she screams incoherently.
He lifts Clara easily throwing her down onto the marriage bed. She tries to scramble away but her arms hardly respond. Strength slips from her body dragging Clara towards unconsciousness.
A sob of fear and frustration rips from her throat when Harold climbs on top of her. She can't move. She can't fight him.
"Let me go!" Even her words are slurred.
"You will learn to behave." His hand finds her neck again pressing down just enough for her to feel it before moving to cup her cheek almost lovingly. "You belong to me now and I will have what is my right as a husband."
Ignoring the bile in her stomach Clara concentrates all her will into turning her head and biting his hand as hard as she can. She tastes his blood in her mouth before Harold slaps her so hard her vision blurs. Clara's head jerks to the side, the pain dulled by the drug.
She can see the window. Outside it's snowing again.
"Please." She begs. Her body is limp and going numb. Tears blur the snow into a white haze. She can feel him pulling off her dress. "Please."
Snow is pure and beautiful. It hides the ugliness of winter. It makes the earth new again. Clara focuses on it as his weight presses down on her. His weight is all she can feel through the haze.
"You are going to enjoy this." A voice whispers.
The snow is white.
Clara is having trouble remembering why she is crying. Why she can't move. What is holding her down?
There is snow outside.
It is beautiful.
There is crashing and shouting. Voices yell then there is a loud noise. The weight above her is gone. Someone is saying her name over and over.
"Clara? Clara? Oh gods! Clara!"
She tries to smile when John's face appears in her field of vision, but for some reason her muscles don't respond. He makes her happy, she loves him. Clara doesn't understand why he is crying. Why his hands flutter above her with nervous energy. He looks horrified.
"I'm sorry Clara, I should have come sooner. I'm sorry." John's voice cracks. "It's going to be okay, I promise, baby. It's going to be okay." He covers her in a blanket, carefully lifting her into his arms.
She doesn't understand what he is saying. All she manages before slipping into darkness is "Love you."
Outside it is still snowing.
don't kill me.