Congratulations sir or madam!

You have earned the achievement: Fire Emblem Novice

You've been awarded this prestigious title thanks to your basic understanding and comprehension of the Fire Emblem universe. You should personally feel special about yourself because you are one of the select few that have achieved this momentous accomplishment.

You and the millions of other people who clicked on this chapter are renowned with this magnificent and rare title. You can now gloat to your friends (assuming you have any) and smugly insult them about their inferiority to your impregnable reading skills.

As a reward, I will now bestow upon you a cookie to acknowledge all of your hard work and prove that you earned this credibility.

...

Wait a second. No, you didn't really earn this cookie now did you? All you simply did was click on this chapter. This achievement is far too easy to hand out cookies. After all what is so special about an achievement if anyone could do it? There was no effort or labor, and I bet you didn't even know there were achievements in the first place.

No matter how you look at it, we can honestly say that you did not deserve this cookie. In fact, I believe that I, the narrator, deserve this cookie exponentially more times than you. Please excuse me as I savor and consume this exquisite and beautifully crafted chocolate chip cookie.

*munch*

*munch*

*swallow*

Ah, that was a wonderful sensation that tingled my taste buds. It is a shame you could not enjoy such a fantastic experience, but alas you did not earn it.

Perhaps when you reach the achievement of Fire Emblem Intermediate than you will be capable of enjoying such an occasion. In order to complete this feat, you will need to read five chapters of this story and write a hundred page, single spaced essay containing no less than 70,000 words on the evolution of Fire Emblem's mechanics. That is what it takes to truly earn the honor of such a magnificent cookie. I guarantee you that you will be the only person in the world that would accomplish this task, and I also like to refer to this achievement as You have no life.

But moving back to the story and forgetting this lengthy narration note. We will now follow the day of another character from the Fire Emblem world... Huzzah!

...

This is a story about a man named Frederick. Frederick is a devoted servant to the royal family. Frederick's job was simple, he would remove pebbles that Chrom might encounter on the road and mercilessly attack anyone who would try to harm his liege. This is what Frederick did every day, of every month, of every year. And although some might have considered his behavior eccentric. Frederick fulfilled his duty to the country and helped keep everything in order. In truth, Chrom would be lost without his loyal servant.

And Frederick, was silently happy.

And then one day something peculiar happened. Something that would forever change Frederick. Something he would never quite forget. He had been training at the castle gate for nearly an hour without coming across a single person. However, this absence of sentient life was not peculiar because it was four in the morning. At such an early point in the day, Frederick was the only soul in the entire realm who was awake. It would be another hour or so before any normal person woke up from their pleasant slumber and set out to make ready for the day. Nonetheless, it was a rather ordinary and frequent occasion for Frederick to be up at this hour, but of course, today was no ordinary day or else I would have no reason to narrate this.

After Frederick finished his training exercises, he walked back to his room and opened his door. However, as the door slowly swung open, Frederick witnessed a scene that horrified his very soul. It was so atrocious that Frederick had a hard time comprehending what his eyes had seen. Shocked, frozen solid, Frederick was unable to move for the longest time.

But as he slowly recovered from the hideous affair; he set to work to fix the disgusting and disturbing object that was on his floor. He slowly and carefully approached the piece of stone that rested on his wooden floor, but this was no mere pebble or piece of gravel, no, it was a rock!

This villainous rock was the size of Frederick's hand and it threatened to trip anyone that would come across its path. But perhaps the most horrifying part of it all was the fact that this menacing slab of earth was in Frederick's room. It was inexplicable and preposterous that this rock could enter the stronghold of Frederick's anti-pebble defenses, but that did not change the fact that this rock lay motionless on his floor openly mocking him and his inability to cure the world of tripping hazards.

"My old nemesis." Frederick growled at the rock in front of him. "You will not harm anyone ever again!" Frederick pounced on the rock with the speed of a cheetah and picked it up with his right hand. Frederick looked intently at his foe and upon closer inspection he noticed an inscription on the cobblestone chunk.

We are many. You are one. We will conqueror the world and there is nothing you can do to stop us.

"Not if I have anything to say about it!" Frederick said sternly and completely ignoring the oddity of the situation. He walked over to the trashcan in his room and violently threw it in. For good measure, Frederick put a lid on the waste basket and locked it with heavy chains so the rock could not escape. When it was safe, he would hold a trial and if found guilty, execute the rock at a later date. And although some would be concerned about Frederick's irrational behavior, it was his purpose in life to rid the world of this vile tripping threat.

...

Now satisfied that the rock had seen justice, Frederick went back to his original agenda. It was at this time that he would help maintain and improve the weapons cache. So after grabbing his sharpening stone from his desk (which is completely different from a regular rock), he headed to the armory to perform his first task of the day. He did so with vigor and never once stopped to take a break. Frederick was in such great shape from his exercises that he did not even break a sweat during his routine of improving the weapons edges.

It was because Frederick trained with constant determination and never slouched from his duty that he became such a powerful knight. So powerful, that he earned nicknames such as Jagen and Oifey. These were of course very common archetypes and if Frederick did not know what they meant, than he deserved to be stripped of any novice achievements he might have received during his reading quests and be deported to Antarctica.

...

Frederick was also revered with the spear and he was always there to save the day when Robin errored in his judgment on the battlefield; which happened very frequently. His powerful silver spear and shining blue armor would help even the worst tactician survive the first few battles. Frederick was so talented that he could single handily destroy every bandit or rogue that threatened Chrom or Lissa's life. In the early stages of the first campaign, he would be the only soldier actually needed to win the conflict. But of course, this would rob the Shepherds of valuable experience and knowledge of combat; thus hurting their ability to reach their true potential. This would have dire effects when the Shepherds fought against more experienced foes, but since Frederick was humble and not a glory hound, he let his fellow comrades learn the fundamentals of war.

Eventually, the tactician would realize that it is best to use Frederick sparingly and only in cases when he completely messes up his tactics, or if he was lazy and did not want to command other people to do the job. After everyone reached their apex, then Frederick could be used later in the campaign to unlock his true potential as a great knight by removing the master seal on his strengths.

...

"Heh" Frederick grunted and a small smirk appeared on his face. He had just finished sharpening the final sword in the armory and its tip was now deadlier than the day it was forged. Content with his work, Frederick dropped the sword back in its sheathe and proceeded to leave the arsenal. But as he got up and approached the exit, he came across two closed doors. One on his left labeled exit and the other to his right called exciting adventure!

Stunned, Frederick was perplexed at this new event. He did not recall there being a second door at the end of the armory. He could not even look through the door frame to see what might lie on the other side because the door was closed. Frederick also had this strange feeling that he could only pick one option. But of course, the obvious choice was to enter the door on his left labeled exit. Deep down in his subconscious a voice urged him to ignore his curiosity towards this strange anomaly.

And Frederick obediently did so without even giving it a second thought. After all, Frederick was an extremely busy man and did not have time for an exciting adventure. His curiosity would remain unsatisfied because his other chores were of a far greater concern. Most notably, Frederick needed to begin dusting the castle so no vile dead skin cells would enter Chrom's nose. So he calmly opened the door on his left and prepared to do the next duty on his agenda.

But that is when Frederick reeled back in surprise. After opening said door, TWO rocks waited for him on the other side. Each the size of Frederick's fist, and both inscribed with the words.

We are many. You are one. We will conqueror the world and there is nothing you can do to stop us.

"How did you get here!?" He said stunned, but the only answer he would receive would be the words carved into the rocks facade. Frederick immediately picked up these two rocks and rushed back to his room will all haste. He slammed his door wide open and went to his trashcan, but to his dismay, the trashcan's lid had been taken off. The chains on the trashcan were also destroyed and the stone prisoner had escaped!

Immediately, Frederick looked around his quarters with his precision eyes to find the rock he encountered earlier, but his search went in vain. The rock had fled from his grasp and would never return to face his trial and possible execution. No matter how hard Frederick would look; he would never find the accursed stone. After giving up on his futile search; Frederick decided to take drastic measures. The two rocks he still had would have to be taken care of immediately or else they could escape too.

Therefore, Frederick went over to his table and opened one of the drawers in his desk. The drawer was neatly and orderly arranged and he had no trouble finding what he was looking for.

"This should take care of it." Frederick said confidently. He pulled out a hammer and gripped it firmly in his hand. He carried the two stone balls in his other hand and walk outside. Now that he was no longer on a wooden floor, Frederick set them down on the cobble stone path and prepared to end this once and for all.

With great care and strength, Frederick raised his arm and sent it crashing down on to one of the rocks. It cracked instantly and left five shards in its place. But Frederick was not done. He hit it again and again until it turned into a fine gray powder so it would not even be a threat to Sumia's clumsiness. Then, Frederick went to the next rock and repeated the process until it too was pulverized.

After that was done, he took a deep breath knowing that the vermin had been dealt with and went back to his room to put the hammer away. But as he reached his desk, he glanced at a small framed portrait on his table. It depicted him, his wife, and his child all smiling with the sun setting in the background. The great knight wore a rare grin on his face as he looked at his most beloved treasure. Even his duty to serve Chrom did not compare to the affection he had for his family. However, there was a bitter truth to this relationship that Frederick did not realize.

...

Although Frederick was an exceptional father and did everything in his power to make them happy; his presence in the family did not actually matter. Whether he existed or not, the children of the old timeline would still grow up with their own unique personality completely unaffected by their father's presence. Unfortunately for Frederick, he did not have his own special child that was directly tied to him like Robin or Chrom. He had no Morgan or Lucina that would have their own special support with him. Instead he had recycled dialogue with his boy/girl.

And if Frederick was to die, it would not be as severe as the loss of Robin, Chrom, or any woman who were fertile. In example, if Cordelia was to be mercilessly and accidentally killed by the narrator, not only would she die, but her child would cease to exist as well. On the other hand, if Frederick was to be killed in action, the only loss would be a potential mate for Cordelia. The ability for Severa to still exist was not directly hindered by his death. Therefore, the women were more important to protect because not only did they bear the risk of losing their own life, but their future child's existence as well.

Also, If Frederick's wife had married another shepherd, than nothing would have changed. Her child would still act and look the same. His role in the relationship was meaningless. The only contribution Frederick had on his offspring was their hair color, and anyone who births an infant so their child would have a certain hair color is almost as stupid as someone conceiving a child just so they could use Galeforce to murder other people. Those people are heartless bastards, and they are almost as dumb as the author.

However, Frederick would have no way of knowing this conundrum. How could he realize this paradox if no one else ever married his wife? Frederick would have to travel to an alternate dimension to see his wife married to another suitor to understand that he held no power in the family relationship. And since the out-realm gate and a second play-through is not a part of this parable; Frederick would remain blissfully unaware of this for the rest of his life.

Perhaps that was for the best though. Frederick was happy with his life and why should he be concerned about matter that he had no control over? He would only be hurt emotionally by this information and question his happy marriage's legitimacy. That would lead to unneeded drama and conflicts until Frederick would finally decide that he no longer cared about it and continued to give his unconditional love to his wife and child.

As some might say; Ignorance is bliss.

But After Frederick finished not thinking about this abstract concept, he put the hammer away and stole one last glance at the love of his life. Whoever that may be. Then, he grabbed his duster that was underneath his pillow and walked back to his door to open it. As the door swayed open, Frederick once again saw a terrifying sight. On the other side of the door frame stood THREE rocks. Once more, there was lettering on the surface of the ore as they mocked the knight in blue with their presence.

We are many. You are one. We are many. You are one. We are many. You are one.

"I don't know how you keep coming back here, but I will destroy all of you and protect Chrom from your treachery!" Frederick yelled as he stared down his most hated rivals. But no matter what Frederick did, there always seemed to be more rocks coming across his path and he was growing concerned. After he finished grounding these three rocks into dust, he realized that there was a possibility of more stones showing up with the strange and threatening taunt of We are many. It was also nearing day time, and someone else could fall victim to these dangerous rocks. It was almost certain that more and more mysterious clumps of earth would invaded the castle grounds and trip anyone with two legs.

"I have to warn Chrom!" Frederick said urgently. He would need to inform the Exalt about this epidemic immediately. Frederick sprinted as fast as humanly possible to Chrom's quarters and pounded furiously on his door. "Chrom! Chrom! There is an emergency that I must warn you about."

...

...

Frederick waited for a response, but he received no reply from Chrom. Not even a groan of tiredness and something was very clearly wrong. Frederick pounded on the door once again with his fist until the door slowly and eerily creaked open.

"Chrom!" Frederick called out, but no one was there to respond. After waiting for a full 12.38 seconds, He quietly entered his master's home and assumed that he must be taking a bath and was unable to call back to him. However this matter was very serious and he needed to be warned immediately. So Frederick busted through the bathroom door ignoring any regard to Chrom's privacy and ran to the bath tub to warn him about the potential doomsday. But unfortunately for Frederick, he was not there either.

"CHROM! Frederick shouted anxiously and ran through the house looking for him. It was not like Chrom to wake up early an leave his house; especially on a Sunday in the winter time. Frederick went to Chrom's bedroom and noticed a lump inside the blanket. Assuming he was still sleeping, Frederick called out to him one last time. "Chrom wake up. I have a matter of the utmost concern!"

Silence filled the room, and Frederick decided to pull the navy blue sheet off of the bed to wake up Chrom. But as the linen cloth was moved from its resting place, it showed something in the bed; and it was not Chrom. The objects lying on the bed were Frederick's worst nightmare; however there was not four rocks, because that would be predictable and imply a pattern. Instead, there was Five rocks on the bed, and one even had to the nerve to rest on Chrom's pillow.

"You swine! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO CHROM?!" Frederick said in extreme anger and rage while keeping a perfect posture.

We are many, you are one. We are aplenty, and your friend lies dead because we wanted to have fun.

YOU BASTARDS!" Frederick yelled in extreme fury. He could not come to grips with the fact that is master was dead and he failed to protect him. Frederick was on the verge of tears as he yelled. "I will destroy every last one of you and avenge my liege!"

He ran as fast as he could to the armory with the five rocks in his other hand and picked up a giant war hammer from the arsenal. He mercilessly turned them to dust and ran back outside with the sledge-hammer in his hands yelling at anything that remotely resembled a piece of stone.

...

...

...

"AHAHAHAHA"*snort* snort* "tee hee hee HAHAHA- ow... Oh, I am laughing so hard that it hurts." Lissa said as she watched Frederick flail around the courtyard.

"Heh, We should probably tell him now." Chrom spoke trying to hold his own laughter.

"Aww, just one more minute okay?"

... "Okay one more minute couldn't hurt." Chrom chuckled.

"Erg, what is going on?" A robbed tactician asked wearily since he just woke up. He looked through his tired eyes to see the two royal figures hiding behind a window laughing while looking at the courtyard.

"hee heee haha, oh hey Robin!" Lissa said as she held her side which was hurting from laughing so hard. "We are playing a prank on Frederick. Hee hee ahaha *snort* *snort*"

"Huh?" Robin asked confused.

"We put a few rocks around the castle and wrote on them to scare Frederick. But I think it may have gone a little out of control." Chrom said trying to hold in his chortling.

"...Is that why I saw Frederick running to the treasury with a hammer in his hand and swearing death to all rocks?"

"Ha Ha *snort* Yeah." Lissa smiled

"Heh, well you better make sure he-" *Yawn* Robin unconsciously yawned because he was still waking up. This turned out to be contagious and made Chrom and Lissa yawn as well. Furthermore, Robin yawned again because he saw the other two yawn, and this created a chain reaction. Funny how the mere action of yawning creates a subconscious desire to reciprocate the action. Even just the suggestion of yawning or thinking about it can make you open your mouth. And the only solution to this is to Not think about yawning.

...

As Lissa covered her mouth to end the cycle, she said "Hmm, but if Frederick is trying to destroy every rock he sees than why is he going to the treasury? Lissa asked confused.

"I dunno." Robin said groggily, "Is that where he usually stores the rocks he picks up?"

"Ha ha *snort* ...no that would be silly, the treasury is only for gold coins and precious stones." ... ... Lissa eyes widened and grew in shock as she spoke those last words. "NO! Frederick!" She ran as fast as her leg could and Robin heard her high pitched voice get quieter the further she ran. "Don't smash the diamonds! They are really pretty and expensive!"

.

.

Thus concludes the Frederick Parable.

I must say, It was nice to actually have a character listen to me for a change. Never once did we diverge from the story even when Frederick was given the option. His obedience to keeping the story in canon kept everything on track and orderly. If only he had played my previous artwork instead of Stanley than people would have realized the true beauty of my genius. It is a shame though, I thought for sure the panda would have been in this one.

But there is no time to dwell on the past in a narration note. So I will let you get back to your lives while I eat another delicious cookie.

*munch*