Howard spotted Leonard walking his way through the crowd.
"Waiting here long?" He asked as he got close.
"Nope. Just got here myself" Howard replied.
"A booth just cleared. Get a drink and come meet me there." he said getting up from his stool. He moved to the empty table and sat down. A minute later Leonard was joining him.
"Just wait and see Leonard. I've discovered two of the most beautiful women in the universe."
Leonard wasn't holding his breath. He was well aware that 99% of what came out of Wolowitz was hot air.
"What time are they getting here?"
"They didn't say. They said let's meet here tonight. What time do hot chicks go out? I didn't want to look like a fool and ask what time they would be here."
"Smart move." Leonard snickered.
"You'll see. It will all be worth it."
"How long did it take you to get here?" Howard asked after brief pause.
"About 15 minutes. There's not much traffic this time of the evening." He tasted his drink.
"But I did tell Penny I had at least a 90 minute drive ahead of me" he continued.
"Great idea."
"What excuse did you give Bernadette?"
"I had to go rescue you and Raj from some bar."
"What did you tell Penny?"
"The same. God bless that tongue-tied freak. Where is he anyway?"
"It's his time slot at the observatory."
"Nice place. Not too loud. You can have a decent conver..." Leonard s words trailed off . He was glancing in the direction of the door as the two most beautiful women he ever laid eyes on walked in. He stopped breathing. They were both much taller than either him or Howard. One had auburn hair the other strawberry blond. And those figures His brain barely managed to come up with their hair colors but the rest of them caused a short circuit. He couldn't describe what he was seeing. His brain was not cooperating. "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God" he said out loud.
"What did I say?" Howard asked.
"I love you man" Leonard replied"
They both stood up and Howard waved his hand in the air getting their attention after a while. Everyone at the place was looking at the two newcomers and when they realized they were heading towards the two geeks at the corner booth every single jaw fell open.
"Leonard, meet Milena and Kinga. Milena, Kinga this is my friend Dr. Leonard Hofstadter"
"Nice to meet you Leonard" they both said in very cute accent. Kinga hugged and kissed Leonard while Milena did the same to Howard on the other side of the table.
They are from Poland. Howard blurred out.
-
Penny was a little late getting up the next morning. She woke up early enough but for whatever reason she could not master enough strength to push off the mattress. She had planned to run some errands around town this morning before going to work but she decided to postpone them for her next late shift day. When she finally decided to get up it was almost noon.
Her reluctance to get up was beginning to register as laziness so she decided to clean up her apartment to feel a little more productive. She put everything scattered all over 4B in their proper place. She washed the toilet as well as both bathroom and kitchen sinks. She marveled at the number of pieces of dirty clothes she managed to gather together. No wonder her closet was starting to look empty. That pile was huge. She was happy with the job she did. The place looked and more importantly smelled much much better. Too bad there was no one to admire the job she did she thought. "It's not going to stay clean for long" she thought giggling. "I'm such a slob".
She took a quick shower. Picked up her recently discarded clothes from the bathroom floor and added them to the pile of dirty clothes already gathered. "Ok. Now everything dirty is here." she confessed. But she thought the robe she had on also needed washing so she took it off and added it to the pile as well. Ok now everything is in its place. She went back to the closet to put fresh clothes on and she reminded herself to add those to the pile a couple of hours later when she would switch to her work clothes. "Hmm. It's finally happening. I caught Sheldon's OCD." she laughed out loud.
She picked up the book she brought home last night. There were all sorts of questions in it like fill in the blanks or choose the odd one out. Some questions were about shapes other were using numbers and some had letters or words. She picked up a pencil and a notepad and started jotting down the answers not wanting to write directly on the book itself. It took about 15 minutes to go through the first couple of chapters. There were only a few of the questions left unanswered but she knew that she was probably correct on the ones she did answer. She debated whether to cheat and look at the answer key at the back or wait to give them another try later. She was actually surprised she managed to concentrate for so long on something just yesterday she considered wackiness. Maybe Sheldon was correct after all. This was not the first time he mentioned she had street-smarts but now she had a clear idea what he was talking about when he was mentioning her intelligence quotient.
Her phone buzzed from receiving a message. She dropped everything in a kitchen drawer and went to her bedroom to get her phone. "Wow. I did get OCD!" she mused realizing that for some inexplicable reason she wanted to keep the kitchen counter clean so she dumped everything in the drawer.
The message was from Leonard apologizing for abandoning her and asking if they could get together tonight.
She considered mentioning the sense she had last night, that she should have gone with him, but decided not to press the matter. She didn't care about it today the same way she did last night. She responded that she had to work tonight and left it at that.
She picked up a script she printed out for a commercial she was going to audition for next week. It was for the role of the mother of two, a 7 and a 5 year old. "The mother" she sighed. "Guess that's how I'm perceived now. A mother." she acknowledged with a smile. The part only had two lines. "Jamie" and "Let's go". Maybe she should suggest the filmed the whole commercial using monkeys instead of people when she gets there. Save every sad hopeful future star some of their dignity. She wouldn't call the mood she was in foul but she decided she better pep herself up anyway. What sort of an actress would she be if she couldn't fake some enthusiasm for a few hours of dinner service? She could do it. She would do it, for the tips. She faked emotions for far more trivial reasons. She snickered.
She got ready for work, mechanically going through the motions, not concentrating at what she was doing. She grabbed her keys, locked the front door of her apartment and walked outside. She got to her car and drove off. She tried to clear her head but the haze that was clouding her mind would not go away. She went through the presets on the radio. Left it at a classic rock station and started singing along with what was playing. She was surprised she knew the lyrics.
When the song ended Penny's feelings were taking shape in her head. She felt adrift and what she needed was to set anchor in a harbor somewhere in this universe. Or at least set a course that would get her there. She was ok with settling down. She was ok with getting old. Being free as a bird like Christopher was, was not what she was after.
She realized she needed some real advice. Some expert advice. At the very least, she urgently needed to unload her burden on someone. It suddenly dawned on her. She needed to go get her palm read. "Yup. That's what I need." she snorted.
-
Leonard's mind was also clouded for most part of the morning. But the fog that plagued him had a name. And her name was 'Kinga'. He somehow managed to get up and get to work in a zombie like trance and when he somehow came to his senses he was seating at his desk.
"Wow, wow!" he thought. "Howard finally delivered."
All those years of getting nowhere with the opposite sex and now, all of a sudden, he was allowed to taste something he never thought he would sample.
They didn't actually do anything with those two Polish sirens but the possibilities were unfolding in front of him now. "Stewardesses! My God!" Such creatures did not even exist in Leonard's realm. Definitely not in his reality but not even in his fantasy.
Howard walked in with a grin ear to ear. He plopped down on the chair in front of Leonard.
He too was still high from their experiences the night before.
"Howard...!" Leonard screamed with as much passion as he had ever put in a single word.
"Leonard...?"
"Did I mention I love you already?"
"I think you did. Last night"
"I still love you man"
"Was I right or was I right?" Howard asked rhetorically.
"Where, how did you find them?"
"Remember when I flew to Huston for a day for a routine checkup? A couple of weeks back?
"Yeah"
"Well my return flight had a US airways code but apparently the same flight also had some Polish airline code. As it turned out the plane and crew were Polish as well"
"Ok..." Leonard was wondering what flight numbers had to do with anything.
"I still had my NASA flight jacket on when I was boarding the plane and the copilot greeting the passengers noticed what I was wearing. We talked for a couple of minutes about my trip to space. Then, a few minutes after we took off, the captain started talking in Polish and after a while I heard my name mentioned. There was clapping and cheering throughout the plane and a bunch of those hot Polish stewardesses came and pulled me off my seat and escorted me to one of the first class seats at the front of the plane that was empty."
"You lucky bastard" Leonard interrupted.
"I heard the captain make what I assume was the same announcement in English mostly for my benefit. I could tell that the vast majority of the passengers were from Poland. The captain said they were honored to have a very special passenger traveling with them. Someone who has traveled where all pilots dream of going. Where everyone on earth dreams of going but very few actually do. You know. Stuff like that. And then he said I was an astronaut and said my name."
Leonard was really jealous of Howard now. Not of his trip to space but of the celebrity status it provided.
"After that I had Milena and Kinga hover over me for the whole flight and before we got off I gave them my phone number. They said they would contact me next time they land in LAX. And they did, yesterday morning."
"Unbelievable" said Leonard.
"I know. I can't believe it myself. I mean being an astronaut always got me some attention from the ladies but as soon as I open my mouth they start running for the hills."
Howard was right and yet for some reason the two Polish goddesses did not sense what sort of a creepy nerd he really was.
"You know what it is?" Leonard asked after a while.
"What?"
"I think I figured it out." he continued.
"What?" Howard was still trying to come up with an answer, not paying much attention to Leonard.
"What was the one new variable added to this equation?" Leonard pressed on.
"I don't know." he replied. "I got sexier, baby?" Howard suggested in his lame-for-everyone-else-but-cool-for-him Elvis voice.
"No you fool." Leonard laughed. "The language barrier. They didn't understand much English so our weirdness was lost in translation."
Howard paused for a minute to fully analyze what Leonard said.
"I think you're right Leonard."
"Of course I am. I mean look at me. I'm no astronaut and yet I managed to spend hours talking to the most beautiful woman I ever met."
"Oh my God", Howard shouted.
"Oh my God" Leonard shouted back.
"Do you realize what this means Leonard?"
"I do. I do."
"There's a whole new world out there waiting for us to explore." Howards mind started wondering at the possibilities.
"Holly shit." Leonard screamed when it donned on him as well.
"Imagine how many millions upon millions of drop-dead gorgeous women are out there waiting for us. Holly shit."
Leonard started trying to quantify that. "We skip the US, Canada, UK, Ireland, Australia..."
"New Zealand" Howard jumped in.
"Right... New Zealand. Bahamas, perhaps. There must be 200 more countries we can explore."
"Brazil" Howard volunteered wide eyed.
Leonard's eyes also opened up. "Brazil..."
They both started daydreaming and drooling over their fantasy women from each country of their choice.
Every minute or so either one would suggest a new destination. Then they would both start constructing their perfect woman from that country in their minds. Usually dressed in their native outfits.
"Germany?"
"Germany..."
This went one for more than half an hour.
"Yugoslavia?" Howard offered
Leonard thought for a second "No. Yugoslavia broke up."
"Even better..." Howard continued "Croatia?"
"Croatia." Leonard whispered drooling some more
20 more minutes went by.
"What are we going to do Wolowitz?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well you're married and I have a girlfriend."
"What are you saying?"
"Well we can't go after other women."
"Dude. You've cracked the code and now you're suggesting we don't put it to use?"
"Well I don't know. On one hand I know we will never find anyone better for either of us... "
'Yeah. Bernadette is great" Howard admitted.
"So is Penny. ...but on the other hand I so want a taste of what I couldn't have for so many years. Damn it, damn it, damn it. Why couldn't we have discovered this 10 years ago?"
"I have to try Leonard. I have to try. At least once. I can't live the rest of my life thinking what could have been. You're already regretting the past. That's only going to get worse."
"You're right."
"I know."
"We have to try. Try to take it all the way. At least one time. We have to."
"I know."
"But we must never tell anyone about this."
"I agree."
"Not Sheldon, not Raj, not anyone."
"Not anyone."
After 5 more minutes of silently pondering their predicament Howard pushed himself off the chair. "I have to get back to work."
"Right" Leonard replied. "We'll talk about this later. I need to text Penny to see if we have plans for tonight"
"Later man"
"Later" Leonard said "and Howard. Remember. Mum's the word."
"Right. Mummmmm."
.
Raj greeted Sheldon taking a seat next to him in the cafeteria "Hello Sheldon."
"Rajesh." Sheldon nodded without looking up at his friend. He was busy typing on his laptop.
"Why are you doing this here and not in your office?" Raj asked.
Sheldon started explaining "They needed to replace..."
"My God man. What has happened to your eye?" Sheldon shrieked not finishing his previous sentence.
Raj was sporting a perfect example of a black eye this morning.
"It's nothing. I had an unfortunate collision with an eye piece last night at the observatory. I slipped off my stool as I leaned over trying
to gaze with my eyes at the beauty I was analyzing with the other instruments."
"I agree with your assessment. It does appear to be anything serious. Just some burst capillaries in a perfect circle. It should clear out in
a couple of days" Sheldon was pleased with his diagnosis.
A very attractive girl approached Raj and asked him if he was alright. She knew his name. Raj didn't even look at her, let alone open his moth to say anything.
Sheldon was surprised that there were people not aware of his friend's awkwardness and were still trying to approach him "You must be
new here." he concluded making the situation even more weird for everyone.
The girl rolled her eyes. "Oooooookay..." she said, turned and moved away.
Raj immediately got up and run in the opposite direction.
"Hey. I didn't even tell you why I'm here." Sheldon protested as Raj was stepping though the exit.
"What foolish behavior" Sheldon continued out loud.
"It wasn't as if she touched him spreading her germs" Sheldon thought. "Some people are really weird. I'll have to send him a message to clarify my presence here." he resolved.