[Thank you all for the comments and reviews. I have decided to keep every character nice for a couple of chapters because apparently they all have their fans. The result so far is a much tamer story than I originally planned for. I think deleting the explicit parts also contributed to it. Penny didn't chose the team of Sheldon and her toy over Leonard on his own so now I'm taking the long road.]
Penny's dinner shift went by fast. She did not like the extra effort the stuff had to put in to clean and get the restaurant ready for the next shift tomorrow but the tips made it really worth her while. She was surprisingly alert for this time of night. She got to her floor and she pressed her ears on the door of 4A. She was hoping their TV was on. After all the fake smiles and over-the-top politeness she wanted some real human interaction. She couldn t hear anything. Leonard was probably asleep and Sheldon is probably sitting in his bed typing.
She went into her apartment and begun taking off her uniform. The sound of her phone receiving a message startled her. She picked it up. It was from Amy. Sheldon's supposedly girlfriend and Penny's bestie'.
*u up?*
*yup. just got home* Penny typed and sent back wondering what Amy wanted at this time of night. She would have otherwise ignored the message but she could use some Amy weirdness right now. Amy was ok in Penny's book but her hormones seemed to run her.
Suddenly her phone rang. Sure enough Amy was calling.
"Hey Amy. What's up?" she knew it wasn't anything serious. This was typical Amy behavior.
"I need to talk to you bestie. I'm not disturbing you, am I?"
"No I just got in and took off my clothes to take a shower. So tell me. What's wrong?"
Amy's throat went dry at the image of the blond goddess in the shower. Water exploding on every cell it hit. Exploring every neuron-twisting curve of her body as it run its course. Streaming through valleys and folds...
Amy's whole body was burning up. It felt as if someone was cooking her in the microwave. Then the image of Penny lathering up popped into Amy's head. Hmmm. Semi-transparent soap bubbles created by Penny's hands rubbing...
"Amy?" Penny asked from the other side.
"Huh?"
"What's wrong?"
"Oh" she swallowed hard."Nothing's wrong bestie. I need to share something with someone and maybe get some advice."
"I need some advice too." Penny confessed. "I was thinking of going to see Madam Isis tomorrow. Want to come with?"
"You psychic palm reader?"
"Yes. She always makes me feel better. I have a split shift tomorrow. We can get some coffee or something as well. Around 4 or something? Or we can do this another day. I'm gonna see you at the restaurant tomorrow night with Sheldon anyway."
"No 4 is fine. I'll come by your work then. I wanted to talk to you before seeing Sheldon anyway."
"Ok then. See you tomorrow"
"Good night bestie"
"Good night sweetie."
Penny stepped into the shower smiling thinking what an oddball Amy was.
xxx
-
Bernadette and Howard were both getting in bed. She grabbed her book from the nightstand. He grabbed the remote control and turned the TV on. This was their nightly ritual. They would get in bed at the same time. She would read for 20 minutes while he gawked at the screen. And they were both content with their routine.
"What happened with Raj last night?" Bernadette asked. They haven't had any alone time since then.
"Huh?" Howard's attention was still absorbed by the TV.
"I asked what happened last night."
"Nothing happened."
Howard decided to turn the TV off. He knew the importance of not screwing this up. He needed to give his full attention their conversation.
"Leonard pushed Raj to go talk to some girl he seemed to fancy. Leonard said he had him repeat 'Can I buy you a drink?' a few times to himself..."
"That's not much of an opening line." Bernadette interrupted.
"Well yeah... but we're talking about Raj here. Keeping things simple seemed like a good idea."
"As it turned out, even 5 words are too much for him." Howard continued. "He approached the girl but was taking too long. The girl spoke first. Messed up his whole plan. She slapped him. He felt embarrassed and run and locked himself in the bathroom. You know. Usual stuff."
"Poor Raj". Bernadette felt sorry for their shy friend.
"Poor me" said Howard getting carried away in the lie himself. "It wasn't a lie lie" he thought. It did actually happen. Just not last night. He was certain no one would bring this up in case they hurt Raj's feelings.
"Oh come on Howard. He's your friend. That's what friends do. They help each other."
"Yeah but..." Howard was proud of himself. The Raj angle was perfect. But he wasn't quite sure how to end this conversation. "I don't think we're helping him at all. I mean Leonard was his wingman last night. You have to admit he's not much of a wingman. Or me for that matter."
"You got Me." Bernadette sweetly suggested.
"Yeah but you're easy to get." Howard blurted out immediately regretting doing so.
Bernadette shook her head. She knew what Howard was like. But it was mostly talk and at least now he was being an ass in the privacy of their bedroom and not in public or among friends as usual.
"Ok. Ok." Howard finally admitted. "I got you. Yeah... but not because of my... wingmen, baby". He used his Elvis voice to say the last two words.
Bernadette laughed. "Perhaps you should get Raj to talk like Elvis too."
"Yeah it increases my charm by tenfold. At least."
"Ha ha. Have you ever met anyone who likes your Elvis?" Bernadette continued teasing him.
"All the time." he stated trying to keep a straight face.
"Ooooooookay... but if the voices in your head tell you to do things... please don't." She paused for a second. "Want to do it?"
"Well, climb aboard little lady" Howard-Elvis said.
xxx
Next morning Penny woke up on her own earlier than the time she set her alarm for. She debated whether she should stay in bed a while longer or leave for work early and finish the errands she ignored yesterday on her way. She chose the former. Her pillow felt so nice this morning. She would stay put for another ten minutes and then attack that huge pile of laundry that was getting dangerously tall.
She got up and put on a pair of sweat pants. With her feet, she pushed the basket of dirty clothes into the living room. She was pressing the top of the pile down to keep them from spilling out of the basket. She stepped into the kitchen to get quarters and the box of soap. She used more than half already so it wasn't heavy but still there was no way she would manage to carry it down stairs on the same trip as the clothes. She thought of digging up a place for it at the bottom and then re-piling all the clothes over it but she was certain that even using her chin to hold the pile compressed she would still and up with a sock or a brief jumping off on the way down.
"Why didn't I get one of those boxes with a handle? Grrr." And then it dawned on her. Why take the box down there at all? She wasn't Sheldon. She wasn't going to separate them into several loads. All she needed was enough for one. She dug around and found a dirty pocket in the pile and proceeded with filling it with detergent. "Aha!" she exclaimed.
She opened the door and pushed the basket out. She closed the door behind her and then picked it up just as Leonard stepped out of 4A pulling the door shut behind him.
"Good morning honey" he said. He thought about attempting to give her a kiss but her chin pressing down on dirty socks changed his mind.
"Oh, good morning, sweetie. Where's Sheldon?" she asked, surprised not seeing the two together on their way to work.
"He's already downstairs doing his monthly visual inspection on the car. You know Sheldon." he sighed.
"Ha. Good luck."
"Yeah, yeah." Leonard puffed as he started down the stairs.
Penny tried to follow him but she couldn't keep up with his pace. She was a little irritated that he did not offer to carry her basket downstairs himself. "Have a good day at work " she shouted followed by "my knight in shining armor." barely loud enough for anyone else to hear. Leonard didn't reply. "He's probably out of the building already" she thought.
She dumped the basket over the machine pushing with all her weight to get the clothes to pass through the opening. "There we go" she said pleased with her achievement. She selected the warm cycle, the average of all her clothes, and used the coins to start it. She briskly climbed back up to her apartment pleased with herself when she didn't run into any pieces left behind.
She grabbed the spare key to the boy's apartment and a tall mug and went there in search of coffee. Luckily there was more than a cap full. "Freshly brewed coffee. Life doesn't get any better." She thought as she sipped some to make it easier to get the rest back to her place without spilling any.
She turned on some music and sat on the couch content to just sit there for half an hour until she'd have to go put the clothes in the drier. She got up a couple of minutes later and picked Sheldon's IQ book together with the pen and pad. She continued to work from where she stopped before and at the end of another chapter she noticed, to her delight, she left nothing unanswered. Maybe she was cleverer than she thought. She remembered how she tackled her soap problem earlier and grinned. "Yup. That's something Christopher would have done. And he's a professional efficiency expert, consultant, something."
She decided to give another try to the questions she left behind last time. She now had a better understanding of what those puzzles where and how to go about solving them. She did come up with answers for most although she wasn't very sure about a couple of them. She continued until she sensed enough time had passed for the washing to finish. She rushed down stairs and got the dryer started and then back up again to continue. She finished one more chapter. At her pace she thought she'd get through the whole book by the end of the week.
She quickly changed into her work clothes, fixed her appearance a bit and took off for work. She would pick her clothes when she got back tonight.
Her first shift of the day was progressing annoyingly slow. She had plenty of time to call Madman Isis to see if she had openings this afternoon. Madam Isis was free and Penny thought they'd go there around 4:30. That gave them plenty of time to catch up afterward. She didn't have to be back at work for her next shift before 6.
Half an hour later she noticed Amy standing outside and she walked out to meet her. "Hey" she called out.
Amy turned around and walked closer to Penny. She went in for a hug. "Hey girlfriend"
"Let's walk if you don't mind. Madam Isis is not that far and there's a coffee shop on the way." Penny suggested.
"Let's"
"So. How've you been Amy? Haven't seen you around our neck of the woods lately. Of course my work schedule has been appalling "
"You're right actually. I haven't been around much. I had one dinner with Sheldon last week and that was it. I wanted to tell him first but I chickened out."
Penny got a puzzled look on her face. She realized Amy wasn't walking with her anymore. She stopped and turned back to face her. "What's wrong?"
"I accepted another job." she said as fast as she could say the words.
"That's great!"Penny cheered.
"In Boston" Amy added.
"What?" Penny realized how heavy Amy's news where. "Boston, on the other side of the country..."
"Yes."
Penny tried to make her words sound as encouraging as she could. "Well, you're a smart girl. You know what you're doing... right?"
"Do I? I've been trying to sort out my mind ever since I got the offer. Two weeks ago."
"Oh you poor thing" Penny pulled Amy in for a quick hag. She started walking again at a much slower pace pulling Amy along for a few steps until she started moving on her own.
"My career is all I have, Penny."
"No it's not. You got us, silly."
"Not for long."
"We'll always be here for you, sweetie. We're not going to stop being friends. Me and Bernie, we'll keep in touch. "
Amy smiled.
"And we'll come visit. And you'll take us shopping."
"Shoe shopping..." Amy clarified.
"Shoe shopping..." Penny repeated. "And you'll introduce us to your new friends."
Amy was listening to Penny giving her the exact encouragement she needed to hear and she was starting to cheer up. She had thought of all that herself but she was relieved to hear her bestie' choose the same side she did.
Penny was still going on "... and you'll introduce us to your sexy boss and your hunky assistant."
"I'll have a team." Amy said.
"A team of hunky assistants... working for you... I think I'm getting jealous now."
"They'll probably be nerds."
"That's even better." Penny suggested. "You'll get to boss a bunch of nerds around... oh what I wouldn't give."
"Me too" Amy said as her fantasy run wild. She started picturing Penny in a black leather dominatrix outfit. She had a whip in one hand. A bunch of nerds on all fours in front of her And she would be 'cracking' her whip while ordering them to lick her boots.
They were walking in silence for a minute or so when they came up to the coffee place. Penny noticed that Amy's face was changing color and she seemed lost in her thought. She grabbed her by the wrist, startling her, and pulled here inside.
"Do we order or want to sit down first?" Amy asked.
"Let's sit. A waiter will come by eventually."
They sat down looking at other customers in the tables around.
"Nice place" Amy offered.
Penny agreed.
They sat quiet for a while. Penny didn't want to bring up Sheldon. She thought of something else to offer "You'll need a new wardrobe."
"I have plenty of winter clothes..."
"Not just for the colder weather. For your new position as well."
"It will still be in a lab."
"But you'll have your own office."
"I guess."
"And you'll have meetings with the higher ups."
"Yes."
"Well there you go. You'll need pant suits."
"Pant suits?"
"Yeah."
"I don't think that's my style."
"Nonsense. You'll be a gorgeous, brain boss lady in a pantsuit kicking nerd ass."
Amy chuckled. "You're good at this."
"Good at what?" Penny asked.
"Listening. Pep talk. Cheering me up."
"So I've been told." Penny said laughing.
The waiter showed up to takes their orders. "She's paying" Penny told him. And then she whispered "She's a rich doctor from Boston."
"Let's have drinks. Two mojitos, please." She said immediately turning to the waiter.
"Bestie?"
"Don't feel like coffee anymore."
She thanked the waiter. "You know what Amy?'
"What?"
"When we first met we didn't quite clicked but now I can honestly admit that I'm going to miss you."
A sad look came over both their faces.
"I'll miss you too," Amy said, words barely escaping her throat. Her eyes were beginning to fill up.
"Being here talking to you about your worries is actually making me feel better about my own demons."
"You don't have any demons Penny. You're perfect in every way."
"I wish. Why do you think I was going to see Madam Isis?"
"You don't think that stuff is real, do you?"
"Maybe. You never know..." "Maybe not" Penny concluded after a few seconds. "But in any case, talking to you did the trick. I don't need a palm reading anymore."
"Glad I could help" Amy mocked.
"Don't laugh."
"I'm not. Our talks have always been very cathartic for me as well."
Penny got a puzzled look on her face.
"Cleansing" Amy explained. "A way for me to unburden my troubles. Talking to you is better than therapy."
"And talking to you is better than palm reading." Penny offered back.
And she was right. Amy had the courage to move across the country and start a new life. She, herself, did the same when she left Nebraska. Why was she chickening out now? If she didn't want lonely, sad housewife to be her future, it was up to her to change it. Whatever she was stressing about was nothing she couldn't overcome. She used to be a tough girl and California didn't change her. She still was. Suddenly all her worries seemed so insignificant.
The waiter got back with their drinks, interrupting their thoughts. Amy took a sip. "Oh, I like it" she admitted.
"I knew you would."
"Maybe the alcohol will help with my nerves a bit."
"What nerves?"
"You know. Sheldon."
"Oh." Penny realized she made a booboo. "Sheldon will understand." She offered.
"Of course he will. He's a genius" Amy smiled at the thought of Sheldon. "But I still don't want to hurt him"
"He's not going to hold it against you Amy. He will truly want you to go."
"I hope you're right"
"You know him. He goes on and on about his own needs, his own career but deep down he cares more about those around him than anything else. "
"Yeah he's special that way. I don't think I'll find another one like him in Boston."
"I don't think there's another like him anywhere on the planet."
"True. I wish I had met him a few years earlier. It took me 2 years to just get through the outer layers. I would have loved to explore what he hides even deeper inside."
"Pure gold"
"Penny?"
"Huh?"
"Are you daydreaming about my boyfriend?"
"No I am not."
"Because you had that look in your eyes"
"What are you talking about?"
"You tell me. You've known Sheldon for so many years. I can't believe you've never wondered about him. You know... romantically."
"You're crazy." Penny laughed. "He is kind and caring and all that but there is no romantic bone in his body."
"I m pretty sure there is."
"Where?"
"That's for me to know and for you to find out." Amy giggled.
Penny laughed as well "You re nuts Amy. Pimping your boyfriend to one of your girlfriends." She paused for a second. "In all seriousness, I never thought Sheldon was any kind of boyfriend material but you made it work somehow."
"I did not. Look at what we have. It's more of a comedy than a relationship. I would have declined the job and the substantial salary increase if I ever thought me and Sheldon had a chance at making it work. Don't forget, I had no idea what I was doing when I started seeing him. My needs were different, my expectations were different. We never had a chance. But I can see it working out with someone like you..."
"Shuddup. I'm with Leonard anyway."
"Leonard, shmeonard. No offence."
"Hey" Penny said. She pretended to be offended but maybe her lunatic bestie was right. Not about the Sheldon nonsense. About the Leonard, shmeonard nonsense.
Are you coming to dinner tonight? Penny asked trying to move away from the topic of Leonard.
Yes. I sort of wanted to tell everyone my news but I don't think I can do that without informing Sheldon first.
I can drive by and bring him with me to work. I left my laundry in the drier and I'm thinking of swinging by to take care of that in case I don't feel like it tonight. I have more free time now that I'm skipping Madam Isis. Call him and have him be ready at 6.
"I will try". Amy sighed. They both new how stubborn he could be.
Penny hugged Amy goodbye and left her take care of the check.
Amy dialed Sheldon up.
"Doctor Sheldon Cooper speaking" Sheldon answered.
"Sheldon, it's me, Amy"
"I know who you are Doctor. But I am still at work."
"Sheldon please listen to me"
"I have been doing just that."
"Ok... please let me finish without interrupting. Please."
"Proceed"
"I need a huge favor from you. I know it will disrupt your schedule for a couple of hours but you have to trust me. It's very important"
"What's the favor?"
"Penny will be waiting to drive you to the Cheesecake Factory an hour earlier than our usual. Please go with her. I will meet you there and explain everything in person."
Sheldon thought for a split second and said "That is acceptable."
"Ok?"
"Yes Doctor. Ok."
"Thank you Sheldon. See you there."
"Goodbye Doctor."
Sheldon was intrigued by Amy's request. He didn't like disrupting his schedule but he much preferred to drive to the restaurant with just Penny rather than having to share a car with 4 other people. The thought of all the germs flying out of their mouths gave him the chills.
-
Penny got back to 2311 N. Los Robles and went straight for the laundry room. She compacted the clothes back into the basked and took them up to her apartment. She took her shoes off and sat on the couch. She wanted to put her feet up put and she used the basket with the clean clothes. "Very soft" she thought. She was watching a shopping channel when Sheldon started his knocking sequence on her door.
*knock, knock, knock* "Penny"
*knock, knock, knock* "Penny"
*knock, knock, knock* "Penny"
"It's open, Sheldon. Come on in."
Sheldon walked in closing the door behind him.
"Unlocked you mean. The door was clearly not open."
"I wasn't talking about the door, Doctor." Penny smiled. "I was talking about the lock."
Sheldon just gave her a funny look. He knew she was being a "smart-ass" as she puts it so he backed down.
"Penny?"
"Yes, Sheldon?"
"Amy informed me that you will be driving me to the restaurant ahead of our regular schedule. Is that correct?"
"Yes Sheldon. I'm doing Amy a favor. She wants some alone time with you. I have to be there for the start of my shift."
Do you know why she wants to be alone with me?
"She wants to tell you something."
"Do you know what she wants to tell me?"
"She will tell you herself Sheldon."
"Tell me."
"I cannot. It's between you and Amy."
"Oh no. That's even worse. You cannot just tell me the topic of our discussion will be our relationship and leave it at that. Please, you must tell me. Please Penny."
Penny thought for a second. She really had to say something to get Sheldon to stop acting like a lost puppy no matter how cute he looked doing it. Or at least get him off her back. "It has something to do with Amy's career. Now go get ready. I will not reveal anything more."
Sheldon was somewhat relieved. Penny's answer helped him eliminate a huge percentage of all the possible topics of discussion he came up with. He was still extremely anxious but at least now all the brain capacity he was devoting to forecasting the outcome of every possible disease he may have contracted from Amy would be put to better use.
"I will return momentarily". Sheldon stated as he turned to leave.
"Let me freshen up a bit and put away these clothes. I will come by your place in 15 minute". Penny spoke before he reached the door.
Sheldon looked at the basket of clothes Penny was using as a foot stool. "Are those clean?" he asked.
"Fresh out of the drier."
Sheldon started shaking his head.
"Also notice how clean the rest of my apartment is." Penny suggested.
"I wouldn't call it clean. I would call it tidy."
"Thank you for the complement Sheldon."
"You're welcome Penny." Sheldon replied, oblivious to the sarcastic tone in her reply.
Sheldon left leaving Penny smiling, shaking her head.
-
20 minutes later Penny walks into her neighbor's apartment. Sheldon is sitting alone in his regular spot in the dark.
"Ah, Penny, finally. I have been sitting here waiting for the last five minutes." Sheldon says as he gets up and walks out the door.
Penny follows him back outside. "Where's Leonard?" she asks.
Sheldon closes and locks the door and starts walking down the stairs. "I suspect he is on his way to gather everyone else and escort them to the Cheesecake Factory. That was his plan, at least."
"I guess I'll see him there."
"Yes that is highly probable. Good guess, Penny."
"Hey Sheldon, remember that book you loaned me the other day?"
"Of course I do."
"Of course you do. For a moment I forgot you have eidetic memory. My regular memory is acting up on me." Penny said as she turned to face Sheldon with a giant grin on her face.
"Sarcasm?" Sheldon asks already knowing the answer. He was getting good at detecting it lately.
"You know it."
"Now please keep your eyes on the road. Let's not change the odds of you meeting Leonard at the Cheesecake Factory."
"Anyhoo. That book you gave me. It's not as nerdy as I suspected. I had fun solving some of the problems."
"Have you considered that maybe you are the one who's more nerdy', as you put it, than you suspected. And the correct word is anyhow."
Penny smiled. "Maybe I am."
They soon reached the restaurant's parking lot. They both noticed Amy sitting in her car waiting as they drove by on their way to the far end the lot where employees usually park.
Penny parked in her regular spot. "Go talk to her, Sheldon. I'm going inside."
"Ok."
"And Sheldon Be nice"