I walk home alone, seeing Haru's shadow waver over the nuances in the road. I'm quietly worried about him. He looks terrible, and he didn't have anything prepared for lunch today. Since he cooks all his own food, I can't help but think that means he hasn't eaten anything in a while. I watch his back dissolve into the setting sun as he walks up the steps that separate our houses. "Makoto?" Tamura-san speaks out of a shadowy corner and I scream in my head from the shock.
"Oh, Tamura-san. You frightened me."
"Sorry, dear. I didn't mean to sneak up on you. But I want to talk to you."
"What about?"
"You lied to me this morning. Haruka came past after you, so obviously he did not have morning classes and he did not go on ahead."
"Well, yeah, I guess not." Laughing awkwardly, I scratch at a patch of skin near my left eye.
"Don't try and dodge the issue. I want to know why it is you lied to me."
"It's a little bit complicated. I don't want to get you involved in our affairs, Tamura-san."
"Nor do I want to be involved."
"Well, then, pardon my rudeness, but why are you asking?"
She sighs and walks up to me, putting a hand gently on my shoulder, even though she has to reach up a fair way to do it. "You're an honest child. Your name even means 'honest'. Never before have I been aware of you lying to anybody. I'm concerned, for both you and Haruka."
"I appreciate your concern, but this is really between me and Haru."
"If it's private, I have no intention of prying. But I just wanted to make sure that you know there are people who care about both of you, and they'll always be around to help you when you need it. So you have no need to struggle alone."
"Thank you for your concern, Tamura-san, but it's nothing that serious."
"You don't have to keep lying to me, Makoto. When you've been around as long as I have, you come to know a few things. And anything that could drive a wedge between you and Haruka most certainly is that serious." She smiles. "Run along, now. Have a nice evening."
"You too, Tamura-san." I bow and make the last few steps to my front door. She's right. I keep trying to pan it off, but it really is 'that serious', isn't it? I push the door open, not bothering to knock. "I'm home." It comes out more subdued than normal.
"Welcome back, Onii-chan!" Ran and Ren chorus a welcome in unison and each wrap themselves around one of my legs. I try to move in far enough to close the door, but there's no way to do it without accidentally throwing both of my siblings halfway down the hall, so I rub their heads a little and gently pry them off my legs.
"It's nice to see you guys, too." I laugh a little and manage an honest smile. There's something about those two that never fails to cheer me up.
"Oh, you're back, Makoto." Mum pops her head around the corner. "I'm just about to start dinner."
"Wait, Mum!" Without Ren and Ran shackling my legs, I can make it to her fast enough. "Haru didn't have anything for lunch today, so I'm worried he's not going to cook dinner for himself. Can I go and invite him down?"
"Really? Well, you boys are so active, we can't have you not eating. Drag him down here if he won't come!" With a little encouragement from my family, it seems a simple enough task, so I don't even bother changing.
Now that I've had a moment to think about it, I can't just leave him. What was I thinking? I don't care if it doesn't work, but I have to do something to help him. I can't just let him fall in under his own weight.
Making my way up the staircase, I don't bother knocking on the front door. I have a theory as to what Haru's doing. So I go to the back door, and it's unlocked as always, because there aren't any delinquents in the area anyway, so house theft's not much of a concern. I make my way in and sure enough, he's nowhere to be found on the first floor. So I go upstairs and see his uniform laid out in his clothes hamper. There's something black in there as well, but it's probably his phone or something. My theory was right. He's in the bath. So I push my way in.
"Haru? I'm worried you're not eating, so you're coming to dinner at my place. Don't worry, I'm not cooking. I'd probably detonate the kitchen anyway." I laugh audibly and I wonder if it sounds fake to him. It isn't, but that doesn't mean it can't sound it.
He's immersed himself in the water, but through the steam, all I can see is his face turned out the window. "Makoto… get in."
"Club was a half-hour ago, Haru. I'm not wearing my swimsuit."
"That's okay. I'm not either."
Makoto blushes furiously and I smile at him. "This is like the next step, isn't it?"
"Well, yeah, I guess, but so fast?"
"Nothing's set in stone yet."
"So then why the invitation?"
"Will you or won't you?"
"I'm more than happy to, but don't you think this is a little ill-advised? My family is waiting for both of us, and if you still can't make up your mind what are doing taking the next step?"
"I really don't care how ill-advised it is. At the minute, I just want you in the bath with me."
Somewhat begrudgingly, but also excitedly, he obliges. "But just for a little while, okay?" And he's taller than I realised, so we end up having to slot together like we're playing the most awkward (and sexy) version of Tetris ever created. We're both immersed from our navels down, but Makoto, being taller, reveals more than me. A fine trail of hair comes up barely visible in the vestiges of sunlight that bleed through the windows. It traces down his navel, leading my eyes to where the water and steam make things invisible. I notice that he is even, after all – as far as I can tell, he's perfectly symmetrical. We find ourselves locking eyes, and there's some sort of connection between us that won't let us go. I sigh internally and decide to just go for it.
"I'm not so sure my decision's going to be that hard after all."
"What do you mean by that?" He's tentative in asking.
It's about time I was honest with myself and with someone else. "I'm not so sure that I love Rin anymore."
"Anymore?"
"Well, it's just…" I trail off, not quite sure how to explain it.
"Just what?"
"I think the only reason I love him is because he was never there. But now that he's around every day, it's like he's just a friend again. I… just don't feel the same way anymore."
"So if I've always been around, shouldn't I be just a friend too?"
"That's a little bit different. I think, because you've always been around, I've never noticed that you were more than a friend."
"So, you invited me into the bathtub?"
"In short, I guess so."
"Is this helping your decision any?" He blushes and looks out the window, breaking our magic connection. He tries to shift his legs, but there's not really any room, so we sort of tumble over each other and his legs end up open with my sitting between them. His legs are long enough that mine don't reach all the way, but we both turn beet red anyway.
"A lot, actually." I pull my legs back under myself so that our faces draw closer and closer together. Finding a more comfortable compromise for bathtub space, we find ourselves lying parallel against each other, my body pressed on top of his, the two of us sliding together like neighbouring puzzle pieces. I press my lips against his and wonder why the first time wasn't enough to convince me. "A whole lot."
Suddenly remembering we have an appointment to keep, we push ourselves off each other and leap out of the bathtub. We each try to be subtle about our examinations of one another, but there's not really any reason. There's only one area on each other's bodies that we've never adequately observed, so we both know that our eyes will go there first. We dry off, using the one towel because I only brought one in, both making efforts to try and preserve some level of modesty. I run to my room and change into something that looks like lounge gear to try and divert suspicion. Makoto throws his school uniform back on, sans tie. He chooses to pocket that instead.
Making our way out, I wonder what they're cooking for dinner. I hope it's mackerel, but if Makoto's there, at the minute, I'd eat sand. His voice pierces my food-themed reveries. "Does this make us official?"
I shrug. "I guess so."