Summary: Set two months after the death of his squad, Levi begins to accept everything, including Petra's. Unfortunately, that is the period of time when Petra's ghost comes to visit. Will Levi be able to see her once again? And will she be able to say her goodbye properly? With a help of a certain person, they might. (Levi/Petra ship [BEST OTP EVER!] and an existence of an OC)
A/N: I'm so glad that most of you are satisfied with the previous chapter (that I find crappy). Thanks so much for the reviews, guys! And I am sorry for leaving for so long. Rest assured because my exams will end tomorrow.
Disclaimer: Shingeki no Kyojin doesn't belong to me. The story and characters belong to Isayama Hajime-sensei. If they were mine, Rivetra would be the top OTP and lots of characters wouldn't have died.
Should I read this? The question keeps on repeating in Levi's tangled mind. No matter how much he wishes to know what Petra had in her mind, he knows he shouldn't break through her private life. I wonder if she wrote anything about me. With that thought, his skinny fingers flips through the pages.
The corner on his lips twitch upwards when he sees a lot of drabbles within a few pages. Although her drawings were quite horrible he can recognize that she was trying to illustrate her friends with the small details she made: Erd has a ponytail at the back of his head, Gunter with his odd dark hair that goes upwards and then the wrinkles on Auruo's face. He is surprised that his own figure was drawn more detailed than the others: she drew his bored eyes, straight lips and his other features. He wonders why he looked so different than the rest but thinks that she only did that because of her respect towards him as a higher authority, so she couldn't make fun of him even in her own diary.
He then turns over to the next page and starts to read the first entry.
Dear diary,
Today is my first day to work under Levi-Heichou's command in the Special Survey Corps. You know, I'm so glad that all my hard work and training finally paid off, and I was recognized by Humanity's Strongest. It feels so unreal that I need to pinch my cheeks every morning to convince myself that it's really happening. Of course, being in this squad means that there is higher risk for me to die. I knew that ever since I signed in to the military, so I'm not that surprised. Besides, there's no better way to die than benefiting humanity by killing those wandering monsters outside the walls.
Aside from that, Papa is still anxious about me not being able to marry now that I'm already twenty-two years old. When he heard that most members in the Survey Corps are men, he seems to be quite relieved, and then he said he would be very happy if my future husband would be no other than Levi-Heichou. Can you believe that?
It's not like I don't agree with papa's suggestions. It's just that I have devoted myself for the sake of humanity, I don't have time to think about marriage or romance, even if I have the time, I don't think I could see Levi-Heichou in that way. I mean, he's the strongest and skilful soldier that has ever lived, and I very look up to him. Being who he is, I don't think there's any possible way he'd every think something silly like romance. Furthermore, he's my captain and I'm his subordinate, we would never be allowed to have any special relationship, even if I want to.
Speaking of which, I have to go now. He needs us to clean the dungeon again for the third time today. Geez, I can't believe how obsessed he is with cleanliness.
My squad consists of myself, Heichou and three other guys; Erd, Gunter and Auruo. They're all nice people; Gunter is the reliable, serious and mature guy in the group with a strange hairstyle (did I seriously just say that?), Erd is sometimes the jester among us, who has a carefree and jolly personality. Finally, the last guy is the annoying, but talented Auruo. He's not a bad person or whatsoever but I do have some issues with him.
Levi snickers very lightly at the memory. I can't believe you wrote something so trivial. He thinks she should write something about herself too, maybe something like: beautiful but fierce soldier. And then he sees another drabble of him wearing a napkin around his face and head.
He then flips to the next pages and stops to read an entry where Petra wrote a few days later.
Dear diary,
Today's training was really rough and right now I feel like I'm going to die soon. My muscles are twitching, my bones are aching and my brain feels like it's going to blow whenever I think of tomorrow's training and my chores in the castle.
For God's sake, why can't the men here do their own laundry and cook? For crying out loud, they even need me to serve them tea in the afternoons.
Of course, most of these apply on that jerk Auruo. Can you believe that guy? Just yesterday he actually flirted with me while I was cooking for the whole squad, saying that I'm being a step closer becoming his wife. Gross! As if I'm going to marry a guy who has no sense of originality and imitates Levi Heichou's mannerism, actions and even hairstyle. I can understand his admiration though.
While I'm talking about Levi Heichou I guess I should share a thing or two about him that I learned these few days. He's really crude and has a foul mouth. I'm serious, there hasn't been a moment where he doesn't spew a cursing from his mouth. Not to mention he keeps on pushing us past our limits when it comes to training.
I think I forgot what kind of image I had for him before this.
But he does have some odd tendencies like drinking his tea or coffee by holding on to the rim. I did ask him once why he does that and it turns out that one day, he was holding the cup normally, the handle actually broke and spilled black liquid on to his forever-clean shirt and cravat.
I can't help but to giggle quietly as he explained to me, saying that 'fucking handle caused me to wash my clothes three times more damn effort.'
You might be wondering where the others are because I usually talk about them. Well today's the weekend and everyone has gone back home. Gunter said he's worried for his lonely father so he asked for a permission from Levi Heichou to let him stay with him for a while, which of course he allows although his intention was hidden by his rude words. Always the good son, Gunter.
As for Auruo, he forgot that his brothers asked him to bring 'presents' from the military so he rushed to pack all sort of stuff like the cocoa that I unsuccessfully tried to hide. Remind me to kill that guy once he comes back.
Finally, Erd is beyond excited to see his fiancé. Believe it or not, he told me that they were going to have a 'wild night' together in his room. Good lord, I don't even want to think what he's going to do.
Levi can't stop himself from smiling a little, knowing he could make her smile with that story of his. He remembers that day he was spending almost the whole day with her. It was on the weekend and everyone had left to visit and stay with their family for a few days. Petra decided to stay in the castle, telling him that her father was away to a relative's home to visit her sickly uncle. He knew that she was also intending to accompany him, who has no one to go home to. It was on that day he fully appreciates to have her in his squad and he cannot imagine not having her with them.
He continues reading the next pages and then notices that her entries gets lesser the further he flips through the pages. He assumes she had no much time to write anymore but he is surprised with the short entry he's reading.
Dear diary,
I'm just going to make this short and simple.
I think I'm in love with Levi Heichou.
I don't know how or when I started to feel this way. I'm not even sure if this is how it feels like to be in love. But recently I can't make an eye contact too long or else my heart feels like it's going to burst with some sort of emotions that I can't decipher because I've never felt this way before.
During these few days, I notice that I want to be with him most of the time. We don't have to talk or do anything but at least I want to be near to him.
This entry really catches his attention and he quickly turns to the next one.
Dear diary,
It was just two days ago that we were in an expedition and I got injured after falling down from my horse who freaked out by the sight of a Titan. I was told to retreat but I couldn't stop myself from mesmerizing his graceful movements as he swung and sliced a Titan's neck. For some reason, he was shining more brilliantly than other days. I lost my concentration for a moment and I didn't realize a Titan was approaching me but he came to me just right in time and carried me to a safer place. I'm pretty sure at that time, Levi Heichou's eyes looked like as if they were worried for me.
And that was the moment that I realized that Heichou is really a kind and selfless person. For me, it doesn't matter if he doesn't feel the same way for me, as long as I could stay with him, that's enough.
Not being to hold the mixed feelings, Levi closes the diary and defeated lays it down next to his feet as his other hand goes to cover his eyes and temple. If only you knew, Petra, he thinks silently, internally beating himself for not being honest, not being fast enough to tell him that he is in love with her as well. I'm sorry for not being able to save you. I'm sorry I left your body on the field. I'm sorry for not telling you how important you are to me.
This continues for the next few minutes until his mind and heart say, I want to see you again.
And in that moment, he looks at the gap between the room's door and the wall, he could've sworn he sees a strand of golden lock passing by.
A/N: I admit I suck in writing diaries especially after 6 years of letting my diary being covered in dust. I'm not really the kind of person who writes her problems or routines, so yeah. Hopefully Petra's diary doesn't sound that bad. Anyway, I'm pretty sure you can't wait what's gonna happen in the next chapter, so stick around for more Rivetra feels! Reviews make me smile!