After school…
My lungs fight for air against the water, partially because I'm swimming and partially because I want to do one of those really heavy I'm-so-relieved sighs. Haru-chan and Mako-chan are back to normal. I wonder what happened? Well, I say I wonder, but I'm making an educated guess. It doesn't take a genius to fill in the gaps. I guess they're an item now, huh? It makes me happy that they're happy, but at the same time I'm kind of disappointed that they got there first. I mean, Rei-chan and I are meant to be the puppy-love pairing in this group, so doesn't that mean we get to go first? Like, we're meant to just kind of bathe in our own little romance-without-problems while the older guys (they're only a year older, but that's still older) sort through a more realistic love with all these issues and stuff. Isn't that how it's supposed to go? I guess this is real life, though. I only confessed three days ago, now that I think about it. That's not enough time for Rei-chan to come to a conclusion about something as massive as that. So I decide to keep my optimism going strong and just go on smiling until there's a reason not to. That's the only way I know how to do things.
"Nagisa, focus!" Gou-chan's sharp call cuts through my thoughts. I pull all the corners of mind together and try to keep them together on my stroke. It's harder than you think it is when your crush is two lanes over wearing practically nothing. I take a quick break the next time I hit the wall, grabbing something to drink, because even though you're literally surrounded with water, you still get thirsty while swimming. You can't exactly drink the water, so it does make sense. But it just sounds weird. Before I get started again, I adjust my goggles a little. I figured this out a few years ago. It's kind of like the way they puts those things on horses so they can't see anything but the track. If you put your goggles just a little bit off-centre, you can totally ruin your peripheral vision. Normally, that's a terrible decision, because you can't see where you stand. But at the minute, I don't have any competition, so I'm better off staying centred on my own lane.
"Okay, that's a wrap!" I stretch my body out the way I do near the end of a race, finishing my last lap after the four are already out of the pool. Gou-chan offers a hand, and I take it and we just smile at each other the way you do sometimes when there's just nothing to say. Mako-chan and Haru-chan hurry off to the change room, together, of course. They're totally an item.
"Rin, I need to talk you in private." I hear Rei-chan trying to get Rin-chan alone to talk, but he's sadly mistaken if he thinks that it's going to be private. As Rei-chan's hopeful future boyfriend, it's my solemn duty to eavesdrop on any and all conversation with any and all competitors. They slink off behind the change rooms, trying to be subtle. I gesture for Gou-chan to follow me – I know she heard, too. We make our way into the change rooms, into a little fold that the other four don't know exist. I always imagined I'd bring Rei-chan in here first, but hell, close enough. There are some patches where bricks have fallen out of the wall, some godforsaken how. Luckily enough, the two of them have stood exactly in line with one each. So Gou-chan presses her eyes to one hole, getting a clear view of Rin-chan, and I press mine to another, staring down Rei-chan.
"I wanted to talk to you, too."
"I would hazard a guess it's about the same thing."
"So would I."
They can't seem to look each other straight in the eye. They fidget wildly trying to avoid looking at the other, but eventually they just line up out of coincidence. "I don't think this'll work out." They spit it out in perfect unison.
"But I still have to thank you, Rin. You've helped me make my decision."
"Well, I guess that makes it kind of worthwhile."
"Can we call this compensation for the relay position?"
"Hell no."
"Why not?"
"It was my idea to start this up, so I have to deal with the fallout. Even if it only two days later."
"It was my fault for acquiescing."
"Did you have to say it like that?"
"Like what?"
"Acquiescing. It makes it sound like I'm poisonous or something."
Rei-chan starts, like he didn't think that far ahead. "Sorry."
"But anyway, things go on, I guess. Don't worry, this isn't the first time a relationship hasn't quite gone to plan."
"That makes me feel a little bit better."
"So? Do I get to know who you chose?"
Rei-chan struggles with himself for a little while. "No. I'm sorry. I have to tell that person first."
"Damn you and your cleverness. Even if you'd just said he or she, I would have known."
Gou-chan and I look at each other in some sort of shock. What was this decision, exactly? It was obviously a who-am-I-in-love-with, but between who? A guy and a girl? So he is bi. Totally picked it. Wait. Go back a few steps. I decided he was crushing on Gou-chan. And I kissed the man for Christ's sake, so that's got to count for something. I spin my head around looking from Gou-chan to Rei-chan and back as I connect the dots. We had a full-blown love triangle going on here and I didn't even notice. Gou-chan liked me, I liked Rei-chan and he liked both of us. Dear God, so many things make sense right now.
"If we have to break it off, can I ask one last thing?" Rin-chan looks away from Rei-chan, the way he does when he's about to ask for some massive favour. "Just once, can we go on a date? I know it's selfish, but…"
"I think it's only fair." Rin-chan jerks his head up in surprise. "We both made a rash decision in the heat of the moment. We may as well face the consummation of its consequences."
"Please, never say consummation near me again."
'Why?"
"If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you." It rings dirty in my head, but even don't know exactly what Rin-chan means. Whatever it is, I hope it means I'm getting with Rei-chan sooner rather than later.