Author's Note: Okay, so, this is later than I was expecting. I planned to finish before season 2 made it out, but now I'm too late. Sosuke's character and the things they've said already have thrown a lot of what I've already written and even more of what I was planning under the bus, so I'll be a bit behind in posting. But, in other news, this will be the second-last chapter. I want to thank everyone who put in the effort to read all of my half-bred writing, and interpret through all the typos. I love you all! So enjoy, and please review!
Tuesday afternoon, at the swim club meeting…
Makoto claps his hands twice to gather us all up. "Gou doesn't seem to be around, so let's get started without her."
"Don't be so blunt about it!" I laugh at him a little. "She's on a date."
They all gasp loudly, like they can't believe it. "Rin-chan, who with?"
"Mikoshiba, the ex-captain of the Samezuka swim team."
"Oh? Really?" Rei pipes up. Is this awkward for him? "Well, I hope they'll be happy together."
"I reckon they will be. But I swear to God, if he puts one foot out of line…"
"Keep it cool, Rin. You don't have to get violent." Makoto smiles gently. "On a similar note, Haru and I have something we need to tell you all."
I don't let them get to the point. "Don't tell me you're finally together?"
"Well… yeah, kind of." Haru interjects on behalf of his now-boyfriend.
"It only took, what, six years? Did you really not see it for that long? And, only kind of? I expected better." They look at each other with this sort-of 'yeah, kind of doesn't cut it' stare, so I think they've gone all the way and they're just playing coy.
I'm happy for them, really. And I'm smiling on the surface. But actually, today is a fair definition of hell. Now I'm the only one of us who's alone. For the time being, anyway. Haru and Makoto are official. Rei and Nagisa are official. And even Gou's got a boyfriend. I'm planning to go see Sosuke this weekend, so I'm just playing a waiting game. But what if he doesn't feel the same way anymore, or something? I'm poleaxed with apprehension for all the possibilities, but, until I found out which one is actually going to happen, watching everyone else abound in romance is really painful. But I can't let them know that.
Nagisa clears his throat. "Well, I'm happy you two finally figured it out. We've all known for years." He winks playfully. "Also, Rei-chan and I are an item. So now we've all fallen out into neat little pairs, haven't we?" He goes to laugh before Rei gives him a violent shot to the gut. Not quite all of us, it seems to say.
I laugh, as naturally as I can in this situation. "What, you're worried about me being alone? Come off it! That's what I do best."
"But still, Rin…" Rei sounds almost guilty. "Sorry we went rubbing all this in your face so aggressively. It must be annoying, given the circumstances." Haru and Makoto exchange a bewildered glance. They're the only ones who are unaware of the 'circumstances', it seems.
"As it happens, there are some extra circumstances you all don't know about yet. They're a secret as of yet, but, trust me, I'll be fine." I wish I was as confident in that conviction as I sounded.
"Aw, Rin-chan, you can't tell us there's a secret and then not tell us what it is!"
"Well, I just did, so I recommend you deal with it." He pouts and I laugh.
Haru injects in his almost-rude way. "Well, it's not exactly related. But it's my birthday this Saturday, and the first day of summer holidays. Makoto and I are planning to go to this new water park in Sato." Rei and I share a little glance of complicity, and my plan for this Saturday actually falls in perfectly. "I'd love it if you all could come along."
"Invite Gou, as well, Rin. And tell her to invite her friend, Chigusa-san." Haru doesn't seem to have thought that far ahead, but he's happy to accept to Makoto's improvised guest list.
"Will do. But now all the confessions and invitations are over, is it time to swim?"
"Not quite yet." Makoto denies me the release of the pool. It sucks enough having to listen to you all be happy while I'm on the clock. Can't I just drown all this love business for a while? I know it's selfish to think that, but I can't stop myself. "Registration is drawing close. We need to start sorting out this relay issue."
"Well, I think I've made it clear enough that Rei is swimming, right?"
"Don't start this with me again, Rin. I'll only swim if I can earn the spot."
"Please don't fight!" Nagisa cuts in. "Rin-chan can swim all four strokes, so maybe he can take my spot, or Mako-chan's or Haru-chan's!"
"Don't volunteer me for this stuff, Nagisa. Besides, now you four are a set of two couples. Celebrate it by swimming a relay together!"
Surprisingly, Haru says the emotional thing. "But that'll make you sad, Rin, and if you're sad we're all sad."
"Don't be stupi…" I can't finish my sentence before their faces tell me how much they agree. "Why? Wouldn't it be the same if anyone was off the list? Why me, specifically?"
They're all silent for a minute. Haru starts the dialogue again. "You were so hooked on the idea of a relay on grade school."
"And that was what kind of brought the four of us together. So in a way, we owe you a lot for that." Makoto picks up the dregs of the sentence from him boyfriend.
"Rin-chan is Rin-chan, and we know how much the relay means to you. With your father and all that. So we can't bring ourselves to take that away from you." Nagisa actually said something serious. But now the baton's passed to Rei. He hasn't got any sort of nostalgia-tainted argument.
"Well, I can't call our childhood memories into play, obviously enough. But I saw how upset you were at regionals last year, and how happy you were after the relay. I can't, on my honour, take that happiness away from you without earning it fair and square. That wouldn't be beautiful at all." He fixes his glasses. "And you're a precious friend, so if I can help it, I want to swim with you as well."
I think it was that last sentence that did it. Because it wasn't about the past. It wasn't about paying me back for something I may or may not have done. It wasn't grounded in helping me or anything. It wasn't about me. It was about us. The five of us. But whatever the reason, my eyes started leaking a little and I had to turn my face away, vehemently denying the tears.
"Thanks, Rei." It's not that the others meant nothing. But I owe Rei some thanks anyway – I don't think I ever said thanks to him for giving me his spot. "But you're all my precious friends too. I put all of you through enough crap last year. And then I waltzed in and took over your relay, got you disqualified and everything. After hurting all of you so much, I want to be able to give you all something back." I might be the only one the group's left loveless, but why do I care? Friendship means just as much. "So because you're all my precious friends, I want you four to swim the relay."
I don't bother pretending anymore. I just kind of let myself cry. It's a happy cry anyway. I can see they're all a little bit stunned by the way I'm acting. "You know, Rin, when you put it like that…" Makoto seems to have come around.
Rei cuts him off before he can finish. "If that's how it is, let's have a fair contest." I stare straight at him. "I can only swim butterfly. Makoto-senpai's fastest stroke is backstroke. Nagisa's is breaststroke. And Haruka-senpai will only swim freestyle. I have the least experience. So, it stands to reason I'm the weakest link." What is the man getting at here? "So, Haruka-senpai, Makoto-senpai and Nagisa will be in the relay. Right now, Rin and I will have a race – 50 metres butterfly. Whoever wins takes the place." That… actually sounds like an alright idea.
"Is that a fair deal by everybody?" Makoto seems convinced.
"If it's good enough for Rin, it's good enough for me." Haru joins the crowd.
"Rin-chan, if you lose, do you want to race all of us for our places?" Nagisa still seems somewhat concerned. I guess he knows all of the history Rei and I have.
"I'd be tired out, so it wouldn't be an accurate judge. Anyway, I don't know if I'd beat any of you now you're all in top form." That's only half-a-lie. I legitimately don't know if I'd beat them – you never really do. But I'd be confident enough to race them. I just don't want to interfere any more than I already have. They deserve their relay, and if Sosuke's transferring, then maybe something'll work out with me and him in competition anyway.
"Well, as long as you're okay with it." Nagisa smiles his blessing onto our little match.
"Okay then. We'll give you two some time to warm up." Makoto marches off to somewhere, taking Haru with him, and after a brief kiss with Rei, Nagisa follows them.
"Rin." Rei stares me down, almost violently. "I said a fair contest, and I meant it. Don't even think about holding back."
"I wouldn't have it any other way." I'm surprised to find myself honest. I expected myself to throw all in a non-suspicious way, and get the relay team I wanted regardless. But I'm giving it my all. We lock eyes and we start smiling. "Get to warming up. I won't take anything less than your best."
He starts stretching with a wordless but meaningful nod. I instead take my own path, diving into the water and doing some gentle freestyle to get my body working the way I want it to. It seems like we've barely started when the other three come back. I feel ready enough.
"Okay then." Makoto claps his hands and Rei and I take neighbouring diving blocks. I haul myself out of the pool, trying not to spread too much water around. I snap the cord at the back of my goggles as I stand on the block. "On my count. Ready, set…" We crunch into ourselves ready to dive in with everything we have. "GO!"
I find myself at a disadvantage straight off the bat. My feet were too wet to get a strong grip on the diving block, so I dove in a little weaker than I normally do. Rei, on the other hand was on top form, so he's pulled a fraction of a metre ahead. His flexible stroke develops a lot of power, so I have to use all my strength to try and close the gap. By sheer experience, I've come to being just behind him. Close enough that a strong turn should put me well ahead. The wall comes up on me almost too fast and we go into the turn at more or less the same time. We both connect and push off with all our strength. My turn is one my strongest assets, so there's no chance he'll be ahead of me. My competitive spirit flares up as I find myself about a half-metre ahead after the turn. Looks like the relay spot's mine. I'm so caught up in the race, I don't even realise what that means. So I just keep going at my absolute best until I hit the other wall. But I get a surprise along the way. It looks like Rei had some left in the tank. He's sped up his stroke, pulled himself forward, somehow. I try to respond in kind, but I'm going at my limit as it is. We have about fifteen metres left and we're neck and neck, as far as I can tell against the maelstrom of water that our arms whip up between us. Neither of us is willing to concede an inch, and we stay almost perfectly level until the last five metres. Somehow, from somewhere, Rei pulls out one massive stroke and by the time I've processed that, we've touched the wall.
"Rei wins. By a hair, but a win all the same." Haru extends a hand to both of us in our respective lanes as he tells us the results. "That was an amazing race, for both of you." We each take his hand, but he's not strong enough to pull both of us out. Nagisa runs over and takes Rei's hand away from him.
"You looked beautiful. When did you get so good, Rei-chan?"
"It was a weird feeling. I can't really describe it." He makes a stormy-looking face that we all know means he's thinking. "It was like all I wanted for that time was to win that race. It felt like I wanted it so badly the water was pushing me along, trying to help me. Or something like that."
"That's what swimming feels like." Haru pipes it up, but only because he got there first. We all think it. "It feels like the water's alive, and it can help you or attack you. It can bring you together with the person you're racing with, or it can push you apart." He smiles, as widely as I ever seen him smile. "I know you don't like abstract expressions, Rei, but I think you understand what I mean by that now."
I feel like I should be shocked or angry or disappointed that I lost, but Rei earned every piece of that victory. "You won by a margin of four milliseconds, Rei. That race was so ridiculously close. I'm glad we set up two stopwatches for it." Makoto seems amazed that Rei came out ahead. I guess it isn't exactly what one was expecting.
"Good job, Rei. You win, fair and square, just like you wanted." I swing my hand out to grab his, but rather than shake it, I use it as anchor to pull us into a hug. I feel like I should say something, but there's nothing to say.
"You're absolutely sure you didn't hold back at all?"
"I think you already know the answer to that."
"I think so. It felt like you gave it everything. But I like to make sure."
"Well, our relay problem's solved." I smile at the four of them. "So let's do some work on or individual events before the holidays start."
"Can we have another training camp from hell on a deserted island?" Nagisa seems excited at the prospect, but it sounds ridiculous.
Makoto laughs. "You're supposed to be the treasurer, Nagisa. Don't you know we got a budget bump? We have enough to swim at a gym if we like, or we could always use the school pool."
"Aw. But deserted islands are more fun!" Rei and I glare at him. Makoto's scared of the ocean, you fool! Drop it.
"We'll think about it, then." Makoto makes a friendly gesture, inviting all into the pool. And suddenly we're all in, and this living water is pulling us all together closer than ever. Now, if I can get Sosuke into the mix, it'll be perfect.