Author's Note: Hello my lovelies! I've decided to continue with this fic. I'm not sure exactly how long it will be, but I hope you guys enjoy it!
-Anneryn

I DO NOT OWN VAMPIRE DIARIES OR THE CHARACTERS.
Music Credit: "Sing for the Moment" – Eminem, "Last Resort" – Papa Poach

Chapter 2:

Jeremy's POV

I sat in the car in silence, thinking about what just happened. I actually did it. I kissed Tyler. Tyler Lockwood. I never thought that I would actually have the guts to do it. I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take longing after him and not trying. I needed… something. But, I never expected that he would actually kiss me back. The things I felt when he kissed me… so much different than what I felt with Vicki.

When I was with Vicki… I needed someone. I needed someone to cling onto. I couldn't stand being alone. My parents dying were too much. Vicki was part of the reason that I got hooked my parent's prescription pills. And with the drugs, came the drinking. I was a mess and I was spiraling out of control. I haven't touched anything since about a week before Vicki left.

Every time she was with Tyler, I got jealous. It wasn't until I was high one night with Vicki, that I realized why I was always jealous. Vicki and I fucked. And after, we both fell asleep. I don't remember everything about the dream that I had, but what I did remember, was enough. Before I realized who I was having the dream about, everything about it seemed strangely erotic and simple and pure.

It wasn't until the next day that I ran into Tyler that I realized that the dream was about him. I may be a guy, but I am by no means oblivious. I know that Tyler is a good looking guy. Scratch that, he is downright gorgeous, past the normal 'fuckable' that so many guys label their potential… well, 'fuck buddies.'

Ever since that day, I knew that I had never been in love with Vicki. Everything that I felt with her was hazed and an excuse to escape from everything. Everything that I felt with her was increased so much by the drugs. Now that I'm sober, I've been pining for Tyler.

"You okay?" Elena asked me. I looked over at her and nodded. She gave me a concerned look that told me that she doesn't believe me, for a second. I sighed. I can't seem to get one fucking day of peace… or without accusation from her. Jenna trusts me, and I know she's talked to Elena… Jenna knows that I've changed… I don't know why Elena insists on treating like a child or some major fuck-up.

"I'm fine, Elena." I told her, suddenly irritated.

"Are you sure? Because, you don't look fine… Jere, are you on something? Did you take something?" She asked, cautiously.

"Why is it, that when something is wrong with me, that you automatically assume that it's because of drugs?" I asked her.

"Can you really blame me, Jeremy?" She asked. I glared at her.

"Yeah, I can. How many times have you been screwed over by your friends? And how many times do you just forgive and forget? And when it comes to me, you keep a detailed track record, so every time I screw up you can use it against me later." I growled.

"Is that really what you think?" She asked me.

"Am I wrong?" I asked her. She didn't say anything. "God, Elena, you're not Mom. In case you didn't notice, she died. But she didn't give you permission to replace her." I said, mercilessly. She visibly cringed. I didn't feel badly about my words. I meant them.

"I did notice. How can you ask me that?" She asked me.

"You don't seem to understand that not everybody has someone to fall back on, Elena. I don't have friends like you do. I don't have someone. In case you didn't notice, Vicki left me. She was all that I had. Stop trying to be my mother and crawl back to Stefan." I told her, coldly. She pulled the car into the driveway and I got out and went inside the house. She came inside, crying.

"I'm just trying help, Jeremy." She said, still crying. I cringed. I hate seeing her cry, but nothing else seems to get through to her. I started up the stairs before Jenna could ask what was wrong with Elena - yet another thing that I'll get blamed for. I have no solstice in this house.

As soon as I made it inside my room, someone pounded on it. I opened it to find a very pissed off Jenna.

"Aunt Jenna," I started, but she held a hand up to silence me.

"You need to apologize to her, Jere." She said. I gave her an incredulous look. Is she fucking serious?

"I'm not sorry for anything I said." I told her. Jenna's face softened.

"I know that she can get out of line, sometimes. But, cut her some slack." Jenna said.

"Cut her some slack? Are you freaking serious? When does she cut me slack? Does she ever? You never scold her about anything. Any time she does something wrong, you have an answer to justify it. But every time I mess up, I'm the automatic screw up." I growled.

"That's not true." Jenna protested.

"Yeah, it is. It's fine; I'm used to it." I told her. She looked hurt. "I'm not apologizing for telling her the truth." I told her. I started to shut my door, and she started to walk away. I locked my door and turned my music on and grabbed my sketch pad. I'm too angry to draw. I started writing as the music filled my room.

'To see him walking around with his headphones blaring, alone in his own zone, cold and he don't care.
He's a problem child and what bothers him all comes out.'

The music gave me some peace. Lately it seems to be my only therapy apart from drawing and when I write… occasionally. I looked over what I had written and read it quietly, in my head.

"All I do is hurt people. The worst part is I can't even help it. I don't know how to stop myself. I can't even begin to explain how I feel on the inside. I just feel horrible and pissed off all of the time. She isn't helping. She just pick, pick, picks away at me, until there is nothing left. I snap. I see the look on her face, and I regret it, immediately. Am I just supposed to let her degrade me? I don't know what else to do. When I dish it back, everything becomes my fault. What did I do now? What else is my fault? What else can I do wrong? No matter how hard I try… I seem to manage to fuck everything up. It's always my fault. That much never changes… why would it? I can't explain how much I hurt inside. Or how I have that permanent ache that never seems to dull or fade away. I just want this to end. I need him to see me."

I shut my sketch book and slid it in between my mattress and my box spring. My phone started to go off. I looked down and read the caller ID in surprise. It's Tyler; why would be calling me?

"Hey," I answered. I can picture Tyler smirking.

"Hey, to you too. Come down here and unlock your front door. I'm not going to wait out here all fucking night." Tyler commanded. What the hell? Why is he here?

"Why are you here?" I asked him.

"You didn't call me, and we need to talk about this." He said.

"Alright, hang on." I told him as I hung up the phone. I turned my music down and left my room. I walked downstairs and Elena looked at me, apologetically. I nodded in forgiveness. She smiled and gave me a brief hug. I smiled back at her. I wish I could feel happy enough to give her a real smile… I just… can't. Jenna motioned to the counter. She attempted to make cookies. That made me smile.

"Thanks, Jenna." I told her. She nodded.

"No complaining about broken teeth, because the cookies are burnt." She warned. I laughed.

"Okay." I told her. I walked over to the front door and unlocked it. I pulled it open. A very antsy looking Tyler stood outside of it. He nodded to me and immediately turned on the charm when he saw Jenna and Elena. They can't suspect that something's wrong. The last I want is for them to find out about us… if there is an us.

"Hey, Elena, Jenna," Tyler greeted. They smiled at him, while looking at him, curiously.

"What are you doing here?" Elena asked. Tyler shrugged.

"I'm stuck on some of my art pieces. Ms. Taylor, the art teacher, always says that having someone around you that can give you a second opinion helps prevent that from happening. So, I asked Jeremy if I could work on my art here." Tyler lied, smoothly. But, he actually had a sketchbook with him. Maybe it isn't a complete lie.

Elena and Jenna looked at me to verify his story. I nodded. Jenna shrugged.

"If you want to stay for dinner, we're ordering Chinese." She offered. He nodded.

"Yeah, thanks." He said. I went upstairs and he followed me. He shut my bedroom door behind us after flipping the lock.

"What exactly did you want to talk about?" I asked him. He looked at me like I was some stupid kid that asked him if Santa Claus was actually existed and if Oompa Loompas were his elves.

"Whatever this is." He answered. "Why did you kiss me?" He asked me.

"Because I like you, I thought that much was obvious." I replied sarcastically. He got a confused look on his face.

"You like me?" He asked. I nodded. There's really no point in trying to hide it now.

"What happens now?" I asked him. He raised his eyebrows.

"Nothing," he said. Nothing? "I'm the mayor's son. Do you know how bad it would look if people thought I was a queer?" He asked me. I sighed quietly.

"Then why did you come?" I asked.

"Because we couldn't leave it like that." He said. I nodded. He stepped closer. "Whatever we do… we just… we can't go public." He said. I looked at him surprise.

"Are you asking me to be your 'closet' boyfriend?" I asked him, before I lost my nerve. He smirked.

"You really don't beat around the bush do you?" He asked. I shook my head and avoided his gaze, awkwardly. "In case you didn't notice, I didn't exactly push you away. I kissed you back." He told me. I nodded.

"Oh, I noticed." I said, fighting back a smirk. I thought back to his lips pressing against mine, and suppressed a groan.

"So?" He asked. I looked up at him, confused. "What is this?" He asked.

"What do you want this to be?" I asked him. I can't decide for him.

"I thought I already told you." He said. I shook my head. "I don't want a label on this." He said, gesturing to both of us. "But, I want there to be an us." He said. I nodded, slowly.

"But…" I started.

"You've got to understand, Jeremy. Other than our secret… things, nothing can change." He said. I nodded, slowly.

"You're still going to be…" I started.

"Sleeping around? With girls? Yeah." He said. At least he's honest. I know that this isn't what I want. And if I agree, it'll come back and bite me in the ass later. But, I can't help it. I've wanted him for so long. I would rather have something… than nothing.

"Okay," I finally said. He gave me a mischievous smile. He walked passed me and turned the music up. He pushed me onto my bed and straddled my middle. He took off his jacket and threw it to the floor.

"You don't know what you've started, Gilbert." He said. I looked up at him and raised my eyebrows. "Tell me when, otherwise, I might not stop." He warned I nodded. He looked at me for a moment. There was a moment of complete silence… I can hear his breathing… over the music.

'Cut my life into pieces.
This is my last resort - suffocation, no breathing.
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding.'

His lips crashed into mine. He isn't gentle, and gentle wasn't what I wanted. I need to be able to feel something, and with Tyler… I feel something. He moved his mouth against mine and demanded entrance. I opened my mouth and obliged. I let him take the lead. Our teeth clashed with the open mouth kissing and his nails raked my sides. I groaned into his mouth.

His hands slipped under shirt and lifted, trying to get it off. We parted and tossed my shirt aside. He did the same with his. He lowered himself completely, on me.

I can feel him growing beneath me. Something is so erotic about it… so blissfully foreign, yet something I've been craving for so long. He moved his mouth to my neck and bit down, probably marking me. I don't mind it. If we can't be a 'we' in public, then he can mark me here: something to remind me that I'm his. I groaned.

His hands raked my side. They stopped just above my waistband. I moved my hand behind his head and forced his mouth to mine. I captured his bottom lip between my teeth and pulled. I moaned. I switched our positions, so I was on top and I took the lead. Tyler seemed surprised by this, but I didn't give him long to think about what we were doing. …I don't want him to change his mind. …If anything goes wrong with us, I think he might.

I ran my tongue on his lower lip. He opened his mouth willingly and let me in. Our tongues danced, briefly. Our teeth clashed and I put my hands to work. I ran my hand over his chest and his stomach, tracing his skin. He gasped against my lips.

'Losing my sight...
Losing my mind...
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine.'

I maneuvered my hand underneath of him and grabbed his ass. I pulled him closer to me.

'I never realized I was spread too thin, till it was too late and I was empty within.
Hungry - feeding off chaos and living in sin...'

I moved my mouth to his neck and nibbled. He groaned and bucked his hips against mine. I hissed as I worked my way to his ear. I nibbled and teased. I licked his neck and blew. He gave a slight shudder and shut his eyes. He moaned.

"Jeremy," he moaned quietly. The way he said my name… Well, if I wasn't already hard before, let's just say that I am now. I slowly ground my hips into his. He let out a strangled cry.

'Downward spiral - where do I begin?
It all started when I lost my mother.
No love for myself and no love for another...'

He flipped us back over. He pulled away from me and just stared. He's breathing heavily… just like me. He moved his body back and forth, against me. I groaned and forced myself to keep my eyes open. His hand moved to my face and forced me to look at him.

"Is this what you want?" He asked in a husky voice. I nodded. "Jeremy,… I'm not going to force you to anything you don't want to do… we're not… we're not going to," He started to explain.

"Fuck?" I offered. He smirked.

"Until you're sure that you're ready. I don't want you to regret it later." He said.

"It's not like I'm a virgin." I told him.

"I know, but I doubt you walk around getting butt sex every day either. So, with me… you kind of are." He argued. He's right. I pulled him back to me and attacked his lips with mine.

'Searching to find a love up on higher levels...
Finding nothing but questions and devils...'

He made small circles with his hips. I cried out. The friction he is making with his hard on pressed against mine is getting unbearable… but I don't want him to stop. I feel like I'm on fire and he's only fueling it. If he stops… the fire will just extinguish. He stopped moving his hips. I moaned in frustration. He smirked at my reaction.

His hands traveled passed my waist band and they found the zipper of my jeans. He unbuttoned my pants and his hand slipped inside. I moaned and bucked my hips involuntarily. He carefully avoided me and just touched the tops of my sides. I bit my bottom lip to keep from calling out.

"Tyler," I growled. He chuckled and then moved his hand. This time, he made contact. I groaned and tried not to buck my hips. His hand rubbed me from outside my boxer-briefs. I moaned. He stroked me until I was bucking against his hand. I let out a strangled cry.

His hand wrapped around my arousal and he continued to tease me until I was thrusting into his hand.

"Do you like this, Gilbert?" He asked me. He rubbed me faster. I tried to answer him, but everything I tried to say came out incoherently and was cut off by moans. "Tell me what you want." Tyler said in a low, sexy voice. The things he does for me…

"I want… you." I said, breathlessly. Tyler smirked. "I don't …w-want… you to…. S-stop." I gasped. He didn't. His fingers brushed the head of my cock, roughly. I squirmed underneath of him. If he keeps this up… I'm not going to be able to… I'm going to… I think he's trying to get me to… I gasped.

"It's okay, Gilbert. Just let go." Tyler whispered in my ear. "They can't hear us, not over the music." He added. I groaned.

"Stop, if you don't I'm going to…" I tried to say. A dangerous smirk played onto his lips.

"That's the idea. I want you to come for me, Jeremy. Come…. For…. Me." He enunciated. His strokes got faster and faster. I rocked myself into his hand. He brought his lips to mine and kissed me, viciously. I lost all control that I had. He raked his teeth against my neck. I slipped off of the edge and moaned his name as I came.

His hand finally slowed and he looked at me, his eyes coated with lust. I lied there, panting, looking up at him. Then, he did something unexpected; he kissed my forehead, gently. He gave me a small smirk in response to my reaction. I sat up, but he didn't move. I pushed him backwards.

"My turn." I told him. His smirk fell off of his face and he looked at me as I lowered myself onto him.

"Gilbert taking charge… I might get used to this…" He said. I rolled my eyes. He laughed. I moved my face close to his. I leaned forward and pulled away. His face followed mine. Our faces did a sort of teasing dance… so close, then apart… but never touching. I leaned into his neck and bit down, gently. His reaction was immediate. I felt his hardness on my thigh.

I started rocking my hips. He closed his eyes. He moved his to my butt, bringing me closer to him, to create more friction. I know that he has more experience than I do. Hopefully, this doesn't turn out too badly,… I have no idea what I'm doing. But, he doesn't seem to mind.

I used my hand to make small circles on his lower abdomen. He moaned and moved one of his hand on top of mine, trying to force my hand lower. I smirked. I love seeing him like this… lost in ecstasy. It's even better knowing that I made him this way. But, I obliged. I slid my hand under his waistband. He used his hand to unbutton and unzip his pants, blindly.

I gently, moved my hand over his growing bulge. He grunted at my touch.

"Jeremy," he moaned. I decided to take mercy on him. I'm not going to tease him, like he teased me. He's been waiting longer than I have. I gripped his hard on and started moving my hand up and down. He opened his blazing eyes and stared at me, as I got him off. I moved my hand faster and faster. He moved his hands onto my back. I can feel his fingers digging into my skin. The pain feels nice.

"Do you like this?" I asked him. He gave me a slight nod of his head. "Are you sure? Because I could stop." I told him. I stopped moving my hand to prove a point.

"If you stop, I'm going to finish myself." He told me, in a strangled voice. I smirked at him. Before he could say anything else I started moving my hand. I bucked his hips against me as I increased the speed of my hand.

"Jeremy," he groaned as he came. I moved my hand and started to sit up. To my surprise, he pulled me to him, making me lay next to him. He turned on his side to face me, and draped his arm around my waist. Neither of us said anything. We just stayed there.

Tyler opened his mouth to say something.

"I wish I could give you more… and I don't expect you to understand… but I-I just… can't." Tyler said, in a small voice. I nodded. Before I could answer him Elena pounded on the door. She yelled for us to come downstairs so Jenna could order Chinese.

"We'll be right down." I yelled. She grumbled something, but I heard her footsteps retreat. I sighed and got off of my bed. I turned down the music. Tyler looked at me.

"Do you need to clean up? I mean, you shouldn't have to keep wearing…" I asked, gesturing to his lower half. He chuckled and nodded.

"Yeah, thanks." He said. He got up and pulled his shirt on. He went into the bathroom that Elena and I share. He cleaned himself up. He came out with his underwear in his hand. He looked around my room and saw a disposal plastic bag. He put them inside and put them into the bag that held his sketchbook. I grabbed a clean pair of underwear and cleaned myself up in the bathroom. I dropped my now soiled ones into my hamper.

I came out of the bathroom, buttoning my jeans. I pulled my shirt back on and felt Tyler's eyes following me. I turned my back to him, to turn down the music. I stopped when I felt his arms around me. He kissed my neck; I turned around to face him. He looked at my lips as he started to speak.

"One more rule," he said. I nodded. "No other guys." He said. I nodded.

"Okay," I told him. He leaned forward to kiss me as Elena pounded on the door, again. She's clearly annoyed because we weren't downstairs, yet. I sighed. Tyler moved his arms and pulled away.

"Come on, Gilbert." He said, gruffly. I found his mouth with mine and forced my tongue into his mouth. He looked at me in surprise. I deepened the kiss. When he started to kiss back, I pulled away.

"Come on, Lockwood." I told him. He glared at me, smirking. I turned my music off and unlocked my door. He continued to smirk at me as we walked downstairs.

Author's Note: Hope you liked it! I try to update all of my stories in order, but I just had to update this one. You know the drill; click that magical, little review button and leave me your thoughts!
-Anneryn