p style="max-height: 999999px;"strongspan style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"A/N Yay! I finally updated it! No more bold writing!/span/strong/p
p style="max-height: 999999px;" /p
p style="max-height: 999999px;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"It's been three years. Three years since I lost the love of my life. She was my everything, and she was taken away from me. To this day, I am still repairing, slowly but surely. We are back in the routine of things again, back to the old ways of life. The Dauntless compound was easily fixed, and we moved back in to start life fresh. This year, the Choosing Ceremony is starting up again. I am back to being a initiate trainer, also back to being called Four./span/p
p style="max-height: 999999px;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"A little bit inside me wishes she was here to see it all, everything back to the way it was./span/p
p style="max-height: 999999px;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""Four?" A voice from the outside of my door asks. I've had lots of visitors recently, all worried I've spun out of control. I sit up from my favorite position, lying on the ground, staring up at the stars. After she passed, I got a tunnel drilled into my ceiling, leading up to the stars, so I can lay here whenever I want and talk to her. "Come in, I'm still alive." I reply. My door creaks open and Christina stands there, holding a brown paper bag. I eye her cautiously as she walks in and sits the bag on my kitchen counter. "A muffin." She says, pointing at the bag. I lay back, staring up at the sky. "Not hungry." I say. She sighs and walks over, sitting down just beside me. "You need to eat, Four." She says softly. I glance over at her and look away just as fast. "I'll eat when I want to, now please leave." I say cooly. She stands and walks over to the door. Just as she grabs the door knob she turns to me, "She's never coming back, suck it up and realize it. Laying around all day, dreaming about things that will never happen is not helping you." She says, before slamming the door. My eyes sting, trying to convince myself to cry. I shake my head. She's right. I need to get over it. I need to continue with life. I glance over at my clock that is sitting awkwardly on my bedside table. 10:37 PM it reads. I stand and drag myself over to the bathroom. I guess I'll have a shower and head to bed, tomorrow is the start of initiation so we need to be up bright and early. Great. Just great. Since Eric is no longer capable of being Dauntless leader (A/N I needed to say this, guys, I love Eric, but this is too good.) Zeke willingly took the job. He is a great guy, don't get me wrong, but he is a perfectionist. Everything needs to be ready and perfect. Dauntless-born my ass. He is more like an Erudite./span/p
p style="max-height: 999999px;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"After my pathetically short shower I change into my pajamas. The shirt I had let her (A/B Sorry if all of this 'her' and 'she' stuff is confusing you, I'm trying to make it seem as if Tobias can't stand to say her name.) borrow one night, and a pair of grey track pants. I crawl into my cold, hard bed, gathering up a bunch of my sheets and pulling them up to my neck. I then adjust my pillow to the most comfortable position. Lying beside me, as if she was there with me. I wrap a protective arm around my pillow and shut my eyes. She fills my thoughts while I drift off to sleep and soon is talking to me in my dreams./span/p
p style="max-height: 999999px;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"I am woken up by a knock at my door. "Come on, Four!" Zeke yells "The initiates will be Choosing soon!" I glance over at my clock, he's right. I slowly get out of bed. I then change my pants into some jeans and spray some deodorant under my pits, and a little on my chest. I grab the muffin off the bench and stroll out of my apartment. At the bottom of the stairs Zeke is chatting to a bunch of workers. I avoid them and continue on to the net room. I don't feel like getting caught up in that stuff. A short stroll down the hallway I find myself at the net room. I feel better in here. Partly because this was the first ever place I truly noticed her. The door opens behind me, but I continue staring at the net. "They should be jumping soon." Shauna says. I turn to face her, then nod. She's been through a lot. Losing her younger sister, Lynn, payed its toll on her. "And ideas on first jumper?" She asks. She's trying to make a conversation, but it just reminds me of her, she was first jumper. Shauna immediately regrets what she had said. "Oh, Four, oh my go- I forgot!" She stutters. I shake my head and send her a small, forgiving smile. "It's ok." I mumble./span/p
p style="max-height: 999999px;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"After a long wait, we can see some people standing at the top of the building above us. "Here they come." I say to Shauna. She nods and uncrosses her arms, stepping away from the wall. A flash of blue is seen as first jumper makes it's way to the net. A boy with dark brown hair lays awkwardly on the net. "That went better than I expected." He says to himself. I let out a short laugh and extend my hand to him. He takes it and rolls off of the net. He nods and thanks me. "What's your name?" I ask him. He thinks for a moment. Of course. "Felix." He says, nodding slightly. I nod and turn to face the people standing around the room, "First jumper- Felix!" I yell to them. Memories flood back in. I shake them out of my head and lead Felix over to the door. The cheers and whistles continue, and get slightly louder when the second jumper lands in the net. I leave the room and make my way to my apartment. It's too much to handle. She is everywhere in my life, and I need to accept it and get over it. Little things will remind me of her and I need to face that and move on./span/p
p style="max-height: 999999px;" /p
p style="max-height: 999999px;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"It's been three years. Three years since I lost the love of my life. She was my everything, and she was taken away from me. To this day, I am still repairing, slowly but surely. We are back in the routine of things again, back to the old ways of life. The Dauntless compound was easily fixed, and we moved back in to start life fresh. This year, the Choosing Ceremony is starting up again. I am back to being a initiate trainer, also back to being called Four./span/p
p style="max-height: 999999px;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"A little bit inside me wishes she was here to see it all, everything back to the way it was./span/p
p style="max-height: 999999px;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);""Four?" A voice from the outside of my door asks. I've had lots of visitors recently, all worried I've spun out of control. I sit up from my favorite position, lying on the ground, staring up at the stars. After she passed, I got a tunnel drilled into my ceiling, leading up to the stars, so I can lay here whenever I want and talk to her. "Come in, I'm still alive." I reply. My door creaks open and Christina stands there, holding a brown paper bag. I eye her cautiously as she walks in and sits the bag on my kitchen counter. "A muffin." She says, pointing at the bag. I lay back, staring up at the sky. "Not hungry." I say. She sighs and walks over, sitting down just beside me. "You need to eat, Four." She says softly. I glance over at her and look away just as fast. "I'll eat when I want to, now please leave." I say cooly. She stands and walks over to the door. Just as she grabs the door knob she turns to me, "She's never coming back, suck it up and realize it. Laying around all day, dreaming about things that will never happen is not helping you." She says, before slamming the door. My eyes sting, trying to convince myself to cry. I shake my head. She's right. I need to get over it. I need to continue with life. I glance over at my clock that is sitting awkwardly on my bedside table. 10:37 PM it reads. I stand and drag myself over to the bathroom. I guess I'll have a shower and head to bed, tomorrow is the start of initiation so we need to be up bright and early. Great. Just great. Since Eric is no longer capable of being Dauntless leader (A/N I needed to say this, guys, I love Eric, but this is too good.) Zeke willingly took the job. He is a great guy, don't get me wrong, but he is a perfectionist. Everything needs to be ready and perfect. Dauntless-born my ass. He is more like an Erudite./span/p
p style="max-height: 999999px;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"After my pathetically short shower I change into my pajamas. The shirt I had let her (A/B Sorry if all of this 'her' and 'she' stuff is confusing you, I'm trying to make it seem as if Tobias can't stand to say her name.) borrow one night, and a pair of grey track pants. I crawl into my cold, hard bed, gathering up a bunch of my sheets and pulling them up to my neck. I then adjust my pillow to the most comfortable position. Lying beside me, as if she was there with me. I wrap a protective arm around my pillow and shut my eyes. She fills my thoughts while I drift off to sleep and soon is talking to me in my dreams./span/p
p style="max-height: 999999px;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"I am woken up by a knock at my door. "Come on, Four!" Zeke yells "The initiates will be Choosing soon!" I glance over at my clock, he's right. I slowly get out of bed. I then change my pants into some jeans and spray some deodorant under my pits, and a little on my chest. I grab the muffin off the bench and stroll out of my apartment. At the bottom of the stairs Zeke is chatting to a bunch of workers. I avoid them and continue on to the net room. I don't feel like getting caught up in that stuff. A short stroll down the hallway I find myself at the net room. I feel better in here. Partly because this was the first ever place I truly noticed her. The door opens behind me, but I continue staring at the net. "They should be jumping soon." Shauna says. I turn to face her, then nod. She's been through a lot. Losing her younger sister, Lynn, payed its toll on her. "And ideas on first jumper?" She asks. She's trying to make a conversation, but it just reminds me of her, she was first jumper. Shauna immediately regrets what she had said. "Oh, Four, oh my go- I forgot!" She stutters. I shake my head and send her a small, forgiving smile. "It's ok." I mumble./span/p
p style="max-height: 999999px;"span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"After a long wait, we can see some people standing at the top of the building above us. "Here they come." I say to Shauna. She nods and uncrosses her arms, stepping away from the wall. A flash of blue is seen as first jumper makes it's way to the net. A boy with dark brown hair lays awkwardly on the net. "That went better than I expected." He says to himself. I let out a short laugh and extend my hand to him. He takes it and rolls off of the net. He nods and thanks me. "What's your name?" I ask him. He thinks for a moment. Of course. "Felix." He says, nodding slightly. I nod and turn to face the people standing around the room, "First jumper- Felix!" I yell to them. Memories flood back in. I shake them out of my head and lead Felix over to the door. The cheers and whistles continue, and get slightly louder when the second jumper lands in the net. I leave the room and make my way to my apartment. It's too much to handle. She is everywhere in my life, and I need to accept it and get over it. Little things will remind me of her and I need to face that and move on./span/p