Thanks to my betareader Cherry! I must announce that I own none of it. Even my few own characters are enjoying some singer and actor names. But, please go on with reading!

Chapter 5

Severus used his whole lunch break just lying down on the rocky ground. It was an advantageous place, since he could see if somebody was coming his way and easy to stay hidden if people came around. It was so much easier to breath here than anywhere else and he was beginning to think subconsciously of this as his place. He knew that his time was almost up and that his next classes was in five minutes when he finally took his gaze away from the water that he had been looking at almost hypnotically during last hour. Water had always been important to him for some odd reason. He loved just sit just looking at the continually moving water and listen to its' relaxing sound. However, no more for now since he had to go. If he were to stay there any longer he knew he would be late.

He sighed and stood up finally before dashing across the lawn towards the entrance of the castle. Although thinking about going there was very depressing with Lucius in the hospital wing. Though they didn't speak too much to each other usually he was giving him some satisfaction. To be with someone meant more to him than he was admitting. It wasn't as if he trusted Lucius yet but still he was still a good companion. He severely wished that Lucius would be back as soon as possible. Nevertheless, for now, he would have to handle things alone and he knew he would do it; he had done it most of his life.

He checked his watch and class was about to start so this was a most convenient time to enter. At his old school if he entered the class too much before the teacher it gave the other student more time to ridicule him. Some other times they just stared at him that he really hated that. He entered the transfiguration classroom a few minutes before the teacher and he congratulated himself on his good timing. As soon as all the students were sitting at their tables a cat jumped behind the teacher's table and transformed back to the woman that he had seen first when he left the train when he first entered Hogwarts. She gave quickly a little speech.

"Hello class! My name is Professor Minerva Mcgonagall and I will teach you how to transfigure things into other things without any embarrassing mistakes. We will start with small things but before you notice it, you will be doing bigger and bigger things. The skill of transfiguring is very demanding so I ask you to pay attention to what I'm doing before you try anything on your own. Always remember if you need to know anything you may raise your hand and ask me. Now we will begin our first assignment, shall we?"

So their class began. McGonagall showed them how she transfigured a small nail into a vase. They got lectured about how to perform this spell properly before she quieted down and raised her eyelids expectantly. When nothing happened she barked at them

"Well, will you try this?"

The class exploded into action and everyone was trying to get the incantation right. Severus was the only one sitting alone in the class as all others were sitting by couples. Of course he was not at all disturbed about this quite the only opposite really. Now nobody would disturb him and he was happy about that.

Severus noticed that the incantation wasn't as hard as it looked and honestly he accomplished the task fairly quickly. He was proud of himself as he looked at the silvery vase in front of him (though with a little greenish tinge as if it was an old vase). He looked around him at all the others to see if anyone else had accomplished the spell yet, but apparently he was only one ready as everyone else was still calling out the spell. He looked at the teacher unnoticed and wondered what to do now. He simple didn't have courage to yell out that he had accomplished the spell already and thus pulling everyone's attention to him; even though this class was non-Gryffindor at least. Being noticed usually caused him too many problems. Still part of him wanted to raise his hand call out how he did it first. Nevertheless, it was the smallest part of inner him and the stronger half won so he waited for someone else to complete the spell first before telling the teacher.

Luck just wasn't on his side this time, as usually, and of course as the teacher walked around the classroom she eventually approached his table. Desperately he acted as he was still trying to cast the spell. Finally the teacher was close enough that he could no longer hide his accomplishment and he gave up faking it. Indeed, she really noticed his (old) silver vase and declared immediately how Mr. Snape had made first successful vase and showed it everyone in the class. At that moment Severus wished that he could turn invisible. Even if he was looking at his table, he was able to feel everyone's look burning into him. Finally when he glanced up for a second he could see the nearest couple was looking at him with jealously and somehow… coldly. He shivered and the engravings on his table began to be even more interesting than the moment before. Only a few minutes had passed during this event before teacher left his side looking at the other student's work and gave out some advice to those who needed it. Honestly the before-mentioned time felt more like eternity before it was over for Severus.

While he was waiting for others to complete their vases, he read the chapter in the book that McGonagall had told him to read. Well, maybe it looked like he was reading but honestly he didn't see any of the words in front of him. He was wishing the class was over so that he could get some peace. Well, he had a kind of dilemma he wanted the class it to end and then again he didn't because he would have his first detention an after half of hour after the class. Eventually they were dismissed and the students that didn't accomplish the spell would have to write an essay on the matter. At least he wasn't the only one to do the spell right the time.

He knew he would have to face his first detention soon so he decided against his burning desire to skip the dinner since he had already skipped lunch and he would need his strength later. Not that he really was feeling hungry though. Somehow he made his way to the great hall and to his place at the Slytherin table; which was lonely now without Lucius next of him. He silently berated himself for feeling like that. He should be able to handle being alone after all those years he spent alone. He didn't want to be so depended on the company of others. He stared at the pots and vessels in front of him for minute before he forced himself to take some food to this plate before he started to nibble food slowly. He gave up on trying to eat as soon as he had saw some people looking at him curiously and just left the table quietly. While he was going to Filch's office he wondered why things were always so complicated and why nothing went, as it should.

Far too quickly he came to Filch's office and he knocked on the door carefully still dreading what he would have to do. Not surprisingly Filch opened the door with a twinkle in his eyes and if you thought Filch was the person who was going to give you detention it was not a good sign. Severus gulped as he said:

"I came to serve my detention, sir!"

He wasn't really happy about Filch's reaction.

"Yes yes yes, my first detention this year, oh boy!" he guffawed and a wide smile spread across his face. He said in an almost singing voice, "I have a special job for you that you will accomplish during next week! I was looking for dirtiest places to clean up that are still undone just for this purpose and the search was not vain!" At this point his eyes were twinkling more than before and it made Severus very very nervous. Filch led him to a classroom door in the dungeons. Severus knew that the door next to it was their potion's classroom so maybe this was too…His guess wasn't too far from the mark when he saw what was behind the door.

First thing which greeted him was the smell of decay. He couldn't recall any time he smelt something so incredible disgusting. Moreover, the look of the room wasn't too enticing either. It was a middle size classroom with stone floors but he could hardly see the stones for the layer of old dirt that was hiding it. There were piles of tables and chairs in the corner and it seemed that every one of them had lost its paint partly. There were teacher's tables in front of the room and some shelves scattered in the room here and there. It would be a big job but he could handle it and he nodded subconsciously. He looked again at Filch who was looking like he was celebrating his 20 birthday again. Filch gave him some more instructions.

"Now Mr. Snape, you are to clean this room totally without magic and as a guarantee of it I will take your wand away for your cleaning time. And here are your tools!"

He gave him a metal bucket, mop and some rags. Severus was about to ask about changing the water when Filch stalked out of the door. He could still smell the intense odor but as he spent more time in the room he could found he could handle it better. So he rolled up his sleeves and got down to work.

Before he even noticed he was engrossed in the cleaning. Filch opened the door behind him startling him. Filch looked at him smirking maliciously. He looked back at him challenging the man. Though the work had been more relaxing than anything else cleverly he kept it that information to himself. Filch would want him to be desperate to end for today and yet worse he would keep him even longer if he showed his eagerness to go on. Filch stated out triumphantly;

"I suspect you have been having fun, don't you?" Something in the way Filch said that brought memories to the surface and made Severus shake. Filch took it the wrong way luckily and kept on triumphantly. "Yes, certainly you were having fun, now get out of here boy and remember the same time tomorrow. I see you still have a lot of things to do in this room and six more days of detention to complete."

He walked out of the room at once and as soon as he was a couple corridors away, he sprinted off. He knew he had flashbacks and he didn't want to let himself break down in front of anyone. He didn't think at all where he was going but his body knew the way already. Before he noticed he was outside and heading across the lawn to the lake. Only now he let his thought run freely and when he sat down on the rock he was already sniffling. Words were still ringing in his head but not said in Filch's voice but that of his father. He could still see the image in front of his eyes so clearly as it happened just moments before though in actually it happened many years ago.

He was eight years old at the time. He was alone at home once again as his father had been away for long time and Severus' zoned out as he was transported back to a time he would rather not remember. He was in the living room watching TV when the door opened and closed. He went to see if he could help his father undress. He noticed that his father wasn't in any worse condition than he had expected and he would have to help him. He hoped that his dad would go to sleep and he was willing to help him if it speed the process along more quickly. His father thought differently and wanted stay up no matter how difficult even simple walking through the room was. After a few minutes of asking he obeyed his father wish and helped him into the living room. It was always best if he let his father have what he wanted since he had some violent traits when drunk. When they were at the sofa he noticed his father's voice was raising in volume though his father voice falter because of the alcohol. Severus found out soon enough why.

It was apparent his father was seeing someone else and not him when his dad started to speak in a threatening voice.

"I suspect you have been having fun, don't you? You think it is fun to make jokes about dead people as coward. You didn't have the courage to say it face to face?"

Severus realized immediately what he was on about and he tried to think anything he could do before something worse could happen. He honestly never got a chance to say anything when his father was knocking him down and kicking him. Severus bit his hand so as to not cry out while his dad had to fight to keep his balance while kicking him. He knew that his dad wouldn't have too much left and when he felt the kicking stop he dared to steal a look up to check the situation. His dad was looking at him terrified and he could see he was back to his senses again; well even partly. Severus' anger and fear faded away at the moment when he saw guilt fill his dad's eyes. He fought to stand up without grimacing despite his yelling back and tried to act, as he was not hurt for his dad's sake. He was hoping that his dad showed the asshole his place. The one who had insulted his mom. He placed his now meek dad on the sofa and less than a minute later he was already out.

Severus escaped from the room as tears threading to come and he locked himself in his room as usual. He turned on the music and put the volume up high enough but that he knew would be at a safe volume without waking his dad. He crossed the room to stand in front of the mirror dreading what he would see. He knew it was a school day tomorrow and he wanted to look fine before he went there. He untucked his t-shirt and raised it up. His stomach was already starting to become a yellowish color even though it was only a few minutes after the event. He dreaded how it would look after tonight. He didn't really want to see what his already bruised back looked like but he knew he'd have to do it anyway. He was very worried about how his back felt but was happy that his dad was too drunk really do anything too serious. He didn't blame him but rather blamed it on the damned idiot who had spoken badly about his mother. He touched his back and it felt incredibly bad. It was only the week before when some boys had followed him home when he was riding bike. Once they had reached him they yanked him off his bike and beat him up pretty badly. Before they left they gave their usual threat that if he said anything they would say he had destroyed school property. What they didn't realize was that he never even wanted to tell anyone about anything that happened to him so it was actually vain threat.

Severus had been sitting in the middle of the stones crying his heart out without realizing that he wasn't alone anymore. Under normal circumstances he would have noticed long before now that he was being looked at but now was not a normal time. He rose up and tried to get his numb legs cooperate with his brain, but they were numb from sitting there so it took a while to get up properly. It was only now that he noticed how cold it was outside and began to make his way inside when he saw her and he stopped dead in his tracks.

It was the first year carrot-top from Gryffindor. The most horrifying to him was how she was looking at him as intently as she did. He swore under his breath as he realized that she had seen him when he broke down. He looked at her fearfully and tried to think of a proper way to get rid of her. Severus though ´What if she told everyone about this? What if she would defame me? I would be defeated before this year even really began.' He realized at once how ill he felt and he sat back down on the rock, which he had been sitting on a moment before. He saw her walking towards him slowly and he took up the calm mask he usually wore though he was devastated inside. It wasn't too hard as he was too used to staying as calm as a cucumber no matter what was situation. All of sudden he got a fit of coughing and he had to admit that he had caught a cold already. He looked at the girl who approached him apprehensively. Far too quickly the girl with flashing red hairs was next to him and also sitting down.

To be continued!

Now with last chapter I got exactly zero reviews so….It is somehow discouraging that with four chapter I have just four reviews totally, even it mostly for one nice reader. I would like to feel that even someone read it so… Even why to post if people won't read your stuff? I'm starting to consider if I should stop posting my next paragraphs in here anymore, keep going just in another ff.places. If you have nothing special to say just, "I read it" it nothing else please. God I would take even flames honestly. If there's something wrong with this story please tell me then. I would do something to help it matter. Say anything but please review. It is depending pretty much on it if I will keep posting this story here. Why to post for nonexistent readers? This is your last chance to prove if you want any more chapters. So actually, review if you are looking forward to reading this!