First off, Thankssssssssss to you Sherry! I love having you betareading my story! I wanted to give my regular warning that I'm NOT giving my author comments then for betareading so forgive my possible grammar mistakeas with it!
Second, I own something! I own something for once! I own my new Finnish character named as Valtteri! Everything else, Rowling's inventions or some even some other actors or singers names. It really works for me better to have few new teachers with names I know from something as I really such with getting English names to my mind if I hadn't heard it somewhere before and plenty of times with that.
I always wanted to give my story some Finnish character but there was never really good chance and I like my Valtteri who I invented. I simple have studied the matter somewhat and there really is a lot Finnish people in some cities and communities in different places of America and some other countries. Only I needed to patch up a story why he had learnt so much English though he was so young as no normal Finn would be good English speaker as being that young, moreover I wanted him to have real Finnish accent so he had to be born and lived in Finland for most of his life. We really don't hear any English here outside of the few English classes, well perhaps movies but nobody never gives any attention to them as we can see subtitle all the time and with young children they even hear their children programs with Finnish language as they wouldn't' be able to read subtitles yet. I'm babbling, now get to the story!
Chapter 10
Severus wasn't sure why he was acting as he was. Since Care of Magical creatures Lucius stuck to him and shook off his every discreet try to get rid of him. He genuine wanted just to be left alone and Lucius' show was bugging him greatly. No excuse would turn him off. Also he didn't believe that Lucius was doing it just to be friendly, no person liked to be around him without some ulterior motive. His instinct was telling him to stick to his old habits and nothing bad would happen to him. Don't let them near you and they won't hurt you. However he didn't want to be too obvious in trying to get rid of Lucius because he didn't want him to suspect anything was amiss. Lucius already knew far too much about him for his liking. He didn't want to admit to himself that he wanted and needed some company as he had learnt to suppress that need a long time ago. At dinner Lucius had made comfortable again and he spoke about his mother. He hadn't intent to say so much about her to Lucius but his mouth had a mind of its own and he felt he screw up. He was sooooooooo near to losing his dignity just then. Lord if he ever made that mistake he'd cry in the great hall. Luckily Lucius accepted his excuse and didn't follow him for once and he made it to the sanctuary before tears came. Moreover he regretted giving Myrtle far too much information when he was overcame by emotions. He cursed his life to oblivion as he realized how much he had just told to both Myrtle and Lucius.
Later, Lucius dared to approach him again to apologize. It certainly knocked him off his feet but smartly he kept it inside. He only wanted Lucius to forget everything and so he tried to act as if he was fine with it when really he wasn't. There was no sense alerting Lucius. It was shameful enough that here he was with puffy eyes in front of all. He thanked Merlin that it was dim down here. He had decided to be on his own for a while but no such luck. Nichols had decided to assign teamwork for once. He tried to see if there was anyone else to pair up with but no such luck. As his teacher's glance lingered on him he gave up and asked Lucius to team up with him. After all he didn't want to show his teacher how things really were. It was more important to keep façade up than keep his promise for staying as far from Lucius as possible.
It was a long hour when Lucius kept trying to keep up some kind chitchat about the potion and other things and he being resigned to his destiny game some short answers. He was happy that he'd had his detention next as he would get some peace for once. After potion he was about to run off already when Lucius commented that he didn't eat that much at lunch and it might be better to eat something before the detention. He obeyed meekly and went to get a small snack though he wasn't really feeling that hungry. As they were in great hall he wondered to himself why on the earth he was reacting as he was. He was facilitated when he finally went for his detention. Once he began cleaning he found he was concentrating more on thinking than actual cleaning.
He really wondered why he didn't fight more against everyone, as he was not used to having company, as he felt that he really wasn't such a dream friend as some others. He genuine wondered why on the earth Lucius really wanted to be around him and why he was speaking to him so much no matter how reluctantly he accepted it. He honestly wanted to be with somebody but it was so damn hard to realize that somebody would have wanted it without some ulterior motive. Anyways sometimes he found somebody who might accept his company for the moment but never in school. Even then it was always as if they got bored, there was a huge risk that they might start mocking and teasing him until he ran off and cried somewhere in private swearing never to be near them again. He might keep his word for day or two but always afterward he resigned himself he came back to them. He thought to himself 'would you like to be away from only person who could stand to be around you?' He hated his weakness for always coming back after the bad times, but they were his only real human contact that were around his age. Also he needed to show the adults around him that he was all right and going out with "friends" just like everyone else. Moreover he didn't want to be at home so much anymore as his dad might be there and drunk and believe me that wasn't so great either.
Sure he had his own ways to escape from all of it. He had become addicted to everything connected with horror and thrillers, including everything supernatural. So he watched his horror movies and read his horror books and investigated anything to do with the supernatural. Somehow it made it all feel just a bit easier for him at the moment. He was for a change seeing things that were a lot worse than what was happening in his life. Nobody ever looked after him much since his mother's death and sometimes he didn't know why he kept going. Even the few "friends" he had had given up on him a little over year ago and since then he was just hanging around alone. For the moment he was relieved to be just left alone, as he wasn't teased any longer. Occasionally he received some small mocking but he didn't call that teasing, it was just so mundane. Now, Lucius was trying to do… he wasn't even certain what he was trying to do. The only sure thing was that he didn't want to get his hopes up. If he dared to get his hopes up he always ended up getting hurt. On the other hand, he didn't let himself trust Lucius' company because he knew that he wouldn't be able to take another disappointment.
He hardly noticed when Filch came back and muttered annoyed that this his last detention had ended. The room looked different already and Severus looked around himself proudly. He was going to miss this cleaning actually as it gave him something soothing to focus on. As soon as Filch released him he scampered off to Myrtle's bathroom. He greeted the poor girl politely as he took care of his upper body once again. Fortunately his bruises were already fading. Afterward he felt that he need to be alone somewhere and he certainly knew where to go for it. He made his way to the lake and his usual place there for the first time in a few days. Once there he relaxed and let his gaze linger on the moving surface of the water. He closed his eyes listening to the waves that were lapping at the shore.
He was just sat there for some time until he heard someone approaching him. He flinched involuntarily as he looked around to see who was there. When he saw her his heart did extra an beat and he didn't know whether to hide behind the trees or just wait there wondering why she was there. Finally the familiar carrot top was near him and he greeted her in a shaky voice. This was another person with whom he didn't know if he could trust or not. Lily seemed all right but who knew… Just Merlin, those green eyes were a startling sight.
Lily sat down and commented on how peaceful a place this was, Severus added in his mind that 'at least before she got here'. Aloud he just agreed with it. Then Lily told him what was her reason for coming here.
"You know those idiots Black and Potter" Severus just grunted and Lily continued "they thought they'd teach me a bit about whom I might be safe with and who not. There wasn't any doubt that all those comments about Slytherins meant especially you. I'll tell you what I gave them a piece of my mind for it. They are only biased idiots who think they are the perfect image of Gryffindors but I have to disagree with that."
Severus just looked at her unsure and stated shakily. "Oh, what if… if it were safer to just listen to them and stay away from problems like that. What if its not worth it to stay around me." Now Lily's eyes started to narrow and her voice changed to impatient.
"Come on! Is that really what you want? Look me in the eyes and tell me if that is what you really want." Severus did nothing so Lily continued. "So I thought. If you give in to their will once they will only get worse. I'll do nothing they ask. I hope I proved that to them already." Severus couldn't help but be curious about how she proved it so he asked.
"I wonder… how did you prove it to them?" At that Lily actually laughed and started to tell him with twinkling eyes.
"That I shall tell to you. I wonder how many have actually ever gone against them but I won't let people tell me what to do. They really didn't ask too much. He first tried to flatter me and commented my eye color but I knew that was bullshit! The only thing he wanted was to get me to agree with him not to make acquaintance with you. Speaking of which, would you like to sit beside me during the next potion lesson?"
This girl was really nutter he thought but in a good way. He couldn't help but grin when he heard her asking for him to sit with him. He shook his head and asked her.
"You do realize that it will piss them off, don't you?" She surprised him with a grin at that response.
"Yup, that's the point! That is what he really asked for by telling me to stay away from you." She answered in a voice that it made it crystal clear that she was adamant about her decision. That made Severus laugh and he wondered aloud.
"I really wonder why on the earth you came to be a Gryffindor with so sly a temperament." He didn't mean to say it aloud and her answer bewildered him.
"Actually the hat was really considering putting me into Slytherin but I insisted on going to Gryffindor as one of my friend made it into Gryffindor. It really tried to change my mind but I'm not one easily persuaded.
Severus thought that it was probably true. She was totally opposite of himself with her high self-esteem. He just shook his head. However Lily went on.
"Honestly you shouldn't let them away with what they did in potion class" she glared at him spitefully and he seethed for the first time in this discussion. He tried to answer her.
"Actually I didn't…." Lily cut him off quickly.
"Yes you did. You got silent and were embarrassed when Nichols asked you if you knew the culprit, though you shouldn't be ashamed, it was their fault. I realized the truth when they tried to persuade me to their foolishnesses. Actually I should now be their telling Nichols who did it, but I wanted to speak to you first."
Severus was nearly boiling mad but he wanted to hold it back a bit because if he got too emotional he usually ended up giving too much information about himself. He told the girl with a forced cold voice.
"Its not like I own you any explanation but I'll give you it anyway and hope that will get you off from my back. I did give them a lesson later in the corridors. I would never get the teachers involved in my businesses. No, I handle my own problems all on my own. You know as Nichols said they really are clumsy with enchantments. Can't handle a single silencing spell so I have no reason to wonder why their transfiguration got so badly mangled in potion class.
"Ahh ok sounds like you really know what you are speaking about. Sorry for attaching but I just cannot stand people behaving as those idiots do. It isn't really your fault that they are idiots. I'd almost reconsider my placement in Gryffindor if it weren't for my old friend. He moved from America and when I heard people mocking his accent here in England I couldn't stand it. He was grateful for my support and we've been friends ever since."
Severus was already calmed down however he was curious as to why on the earth any American should get teased for their accent. He knew there was quite of few Americans in this school and not once had he heard anyone mocking their speech. Perhaps Lily understood why he was looking astonished as she started to tell him more about it.
"Ahh, he wasn't born in America. He is originally from Finland he moved to America at the age of eight. They wanted to give their son a magic schooling, as there were no magic schools in Finland. They moved first to America because it was easier to move there as there were already so many Finnish people and at the same time their son would learn English more efficiently than he would in Finland. They do practice English there but only few hours in each week. Practicing English at school wasn't nearly enough to learn it properly especially when you don't hear English spoken outside the classroom. It was a year ago when they finally moved to England for schooling. His parents wanted to be near his school and it was the best way to do so. He learnt English quite well as he made a lot of friends in America. Some people think that his accent is a little bit strange as he doesn't pronounce some letters right but it is only because of his accent." At Severus questioning look she went on. " He pronounces both w and f as v, b as p, q as k, z as g and stuff like that. He's really a nice guy but some people make fun of him a bit for it here and it is just unfair. It's not like he can do anything about it. First language is always first language and you can never drop your accent from your first language." Now Severus finally answered back.
"Yeah, it's unfair. It must be hard to move away from one's own country to a brand new place where others speak a new language. I bet he's doing somewhat better than his parents with English though as he was that young when he moved to America."
"You hit the nail on the head! It's really hard for his parents. They lived in Thunder Bay where there were a lot other Finnish people. Actually there was just as much English that they were speaking a mix of Finnish and English. They call it Finglish. I have been told that it is mostly Finnish spiced up with some English words. They think that it is funny that no Finland Finnish nor Americans could understand it; it has taken that much English influence in it but not quite enough for the Americans to catch it. Still they wanted their son to learn better English so he would be able to come here when the time came so he went to some boarding school where he really learnt a lot. His parents know just enough English to be able to manage on their own now. Still I know they speak Finnish when they are at home. Sometimes I listened to it and it is a quite funny sounding language. It almost sounds like they are angry at each other all the time but I know better than that."
"That's really fascinating. That's quite a story. He must be proud to be able to speak that well that he can get along here. "
Lily nodded and went on" Yes he is. He is always trying so hard to learn even more but he really is doing fine. Even here he is always keeps that dictionary of his with him."
"What's his name by the way?"
Lily laughed and said something that sounded as vulttteri. When he asked again. Lily drew it on the sand. 'Valtteri' and pronounced it again. Severus said it like Valteri at the end and Lily only giggled at him and shook her head before commenting.
"Really, you are saying it as most people say it. Hardly any gets it right as it is a Finnish name. The right way to say it if is you have to remember to say both t's, and perhaps even try to say it with triple t's as it really is pronounced the long way. But don't worry, hardly anybody except me has learnt that so far and he won't mind, as it isn't quite an English name. Maybe you two will happen to meet someday and then you'll see. He really is nice."
"Yeah, that's possible. It's getting quite late and I guess we should be going in. Soon it'll be curfew and I don't want to lose any points for lurking around too late."
They both got up and Severus was still quite astonished because of what just happened. First, he still thought she was quite strange. Second, he wasn't sure he liked the way she seemed to easily get through to him and left him exposed to feelings, which were never a good occurrence. She simple disarmed him before he even noticed and it left him vulnerable. It really wasn't good as that always got him hurt in the end and he certainly wanted to protect himself. In that light he stopped doing that a long time ago and accepted that he was sentenced to be always alone and it was easier to keep himself in check so no one noticed anything was amiss. Down the drain all defensive walls and here he was defenseless and vulnerable in front of her. He simple couldn't keep himself distant to her no matter how much he tried. When they finally departed to their own directions Severus took a last longing look at her and shook his head before making his way to his room and to bed.
Later when he dreamed he saw Lily telling him that they would not meet again as she didn't want to get in more trouble than she already was in and left Severus stand there, trying to keep his façade up long enough so he could get to a private place where he would have some peace for his tears that were threatening to come. Unfortunately he never made it to a safe place and Black and Potter came up behind Lily. Potter greeted Lily warmly and then all of them looked at Severus who swallowed deep. Then Lily spoke.
"You really were that daft that you believed that I really would enjoy being in your company? It really was incredible fun to…" Just then he woke up to something. Lucius was they're shaking him and asking what the problem was. He only mumbled something about the dream he had in his half sleepy state and soon he was fully asleep again. However this time there were no disturbing dreams and he slept soundly until morning. Lucius was certain that he had heard him saying the word Lily in his sleep and he wondered why.
Now! Thanks a lot for you Nita and Kendra! If there was no reviews, no reason to write! As long as I want to impress myself with this writing I'm not doing it only for myself! Sorry for there was a slight waiting before I posted this but I really wanted to have my next chapter ready and at my wonderful betareader hands before I let this go. Now, as a bit answer to my reviews. Oh my god, yup certainly familiar exclamation! Well and I like swearing a lot though that is from my own language as I have hard times saying few sentences through in Finnish without one swearword, lol. I know I would never write colour, color sounds so much better. I hate forgetting h in pronunciation as they do too many times in british English. If I could pick up that easily how I speak, I'd speak southern accent, it sound so fabulous! Well, I'd be quite sure I'm more to American English though I'd never say it is purely that, but still more. I admit, I'm trying to learn mostly it with purpose! I'm leant to say words as gonna, wanna, cuppa just because I've wanted to learn them! I guess "learnt" is brittish one… Well, I said mostly.
Now, I professor Snape order you to review my story, if you will not obey my orders you'll be all serving a nice week length of detention with Mr. Filch! So get started with my review!(giving warning 'death' glare for reminding you!