First off, I own only my own character Valtteri! Rowling does the rest! And Sherry! Thankssssssssss a lot for your perfect betareading! You are the best betareader I have ever had!

A/N I wanted warn about one part in this story. I made first real appearance of Valtteri now and he is 'speaking' in accent. I tell you basic rules just for making certain that you can understand his speaking. thd, bp, wv fv, gk. I did want to embhatize the way he is speaking as he is Finnish character and I do want him to speak as one! This is as I would pronounce it sentences! Now, hop hop to the story!

Chapter 12

For a long they both just stared at the lake lost in their own reveries. There really wasn't any need to say anymore for the moment and they both knew it. However, Severus had something to say but was afraid that it would come out in an embarrassing way as he wasn't in his best just now. Finally he whispered shakily:

"Do you mind, I'd be alone for a moment? I'd really appreciate it." Lucius nodded and before retreating asked if they could meet later that day. He would give Severus the before-mentioned potion then. Severus just nodded for he didn't trust himself to remain calm much longer. So Lucius left and Severus kept his façade up for five minutes longer just for safe sake. Then he allowed himself to cry the tears, which had been near during their chat. He didn't cry because of their chat but because of the emotions the things remembered brought to the front of his mind. When Lucius was there he'd tried to keep the worst of the tears at bay with his angry and willpower but he had to let them go before he'd be fine again. For that he'd have to be alone, as he simply wouldn't cry in front of anyone.

Severus began going through his pockets looking for something. He became almost frantic in his search when he could find the object right off. He hadn't done this for sometime now but knew this would be one of those times when he needed to do it. He sighed deeply as his fingers felt the familiar sensation as his pocketknife slipped into the palm of his right hand. Knowing the knife was clean he decided to use it. After all he didn't want to get an infection. He roll his left sleeve up and opened the knife, laid it onto the pale white flesh. He cut carefully into the flesh to allow just enough blood to let some come through. As he looked at the blood trickling down his arm he started to feel better and began breathing easier. He was relieved. After a moment he carefully wiped the blood off and lowered his sleeve again.

He picked himself up and started to walk back to the school. He knew it was no good staying here all day no mater how he enjoyed being here. He wondered vaguely if he really did the right thing when he told Lucius as much as he did. He was ready to kill himself if everything he told Lucius reached the whole school. Well maybe not as he didn't want them to win by letting them see his pain. Besides his dad would have been so devastated if he died. Though it was more for his father that kept him from doing it. He just hoped that his dad would stop drinking and start caring about him again. He knew his dad had no power to keep his feelings at bay when he was drunk not to mention supporting his son. And it was painful to listen to his dad talk about his memories. It was even harder listening to his dad than have his dad beat him up, as he was very weak in his drunken state. However the worst thing was having to watch what he said to his dad when he was drunk. He was fine as long as you avoided a few topics. If you slipped and spoke about certain things his dad didn't hold anything back.

He had been walking lost in his own thoughts for a while when he bumped into someone. To his surprise it turned out to be Lily and some boy. He was about to retreat when Lily greeted him and beckoned him to join them. He neared them a bit more causality. He'd seen this boy around and knew he was from Gryffindor. Lily was looking suspiciously happy as she introduced them. It turned out that this was Valtteri who she'd been telling him about before. She asked them to wait a moment as she had something to tell her teacher. She said she'd be back in a few minutes and disappeared. Severus turned to look at Valtteri. He noticed he was a tall boy with brown eyes and dark brown hair. When Severus greeted him trying to remember how Lily pronounced his name he smiled an spoke in a jittery language.

"Hello, so you are dat Severus. Lily had peen telling apout you just a pit. You must be vine kuy as Lily thinks apout you so highly."

"Yeah, I've heard about you a bit as well. It's nice to finally meet you. It seems your English really as fabulous as Lily told me." Now Valtteri laughed heartily and shook his head.

"You really think so? Do not vlatter so much as I'm not really dat pervect speaker. Just happy to be aple to come here. A vew years pevore it vas looking so impossiple."

"Well, if that's so then you're a quick learner."

"(laughing) Anyhow, vasn't you also in virst year?"

"Yup, we might be having some classes together I think."

"Yeah I think ve have, you vere de one vhose potion someone tried to sapotage."

"(blushing) Yeah, I wish I knew who it was."

"Yeah, some people just are idiots. Propaply someone vrom my class. I vould guess it vas dat marauders' put hard to say surely.

"Marauders?"

"Yeah, dey are dose Plack, Pettigrew and Potter poys. Dey started kall deirselves Marauders. Virst it vas more just a joke put I think dat dey are starting to like dat Name."

"Ahh, I see. Who knows if it was them. I wonder how much longer Lily will be off."

"She's already coming, dere across de hall." And true enough she was coming. Severus finally noticed that someone had came up to them and called out.

"How's it is going Vinnish? Are you quite Vinnished with your Finglish?" Valtteri growled and shot back:

"Are you kuite vinished? Do you realize dat dis joke is getting old?" The person laughed back only before retreating.

"Vell, I just told you some people are just idiots. Dere's no sense in listening to dem. I'm only proud ov my Vinnish accent! Dat is telling where I'm vrom and Vho I really am! Only making me sound myselv!"

"Yeah, that's right. And being honest with you even us native English speakers have different accents depending upon where we live. Ahh, now Lily's here."

Lily finally stepped up to then. They spoke about classes for a few minutes before it was time for lunch. Severus met up with Lucius at the table and glanced at him carefully. Thinking about their earlier meeting. Both of them were a bit quiet as they were still lost in their own thoughts and didn't want to bring up any painful topics just now. After a little while they were doing homework and Lucius was checking over all the stuff he had missed while he was in hospital wing. Lucius was trying to get his opening and closing charms to work in vain so Severus calmed him down by saying that most of the class had problems with it. When Lucius pointed out that Severus had mastered it easily he was a bit embarrassed. He ended up telling Lucius what happened in the charms class. He was looking at the floor as he had done when explaining how he had almost crashed his box into Flitwick's head. However Lucius disagreed with him and told instantly:

"Don't you know it's not your fault if you panicked just a bit if he really sneaked up behind you and startled you. Don't take it too badly. Even the teacher saw that it was an accident as he gave you some points, you see my point?"

"Yeah but…"

"No ifs ands or buts please! If the teacher said so then it is so. Besides it seems to me you were doing better than most of the other students in the class. Moreover you should be proud of yourself!"

Severus muttered something under his breath and when Lucius asked what he was saying he explained.

"I don't want them staring at me. If I show off too much then they are just going to stare and talk about me. That's never a good thing." Now Lucius fell silent as he contemplated how to assure his friend that it was fine to do well in classes. Carefully he went on. Observing Severus to see if he was trying the right way. He didn't want to imply that some of it could just be his imagination and that he was overreacting.

"Well, it sounds to me as though some of them could be jealous which is more than likely. But that in and or itself isn't a reason for you to try to be as invisible as possible. Attention isn't always bad Severus, it depends who is giving it and why. Most of the time if a teacher is the one giving it then it is only good, though there might be some exceptions. Well?" Lucius asked. Severus couldn't do anything else but nod slowly as though it seemed that he didn't really believe this explanation. Lucius waited for moment and finally Severus answered.

"It isn't really about the teachers, it is about how the other students react to it. I don't want to be in center of attention. If they…" That sentence never got finished and both of the boys just stared at their books without really seeing about them. Until Severus called out.

"I'm going to take a walk. See you later." Lucius never followed him but just let him go. He had learnt so much during that day about his friend and not everything was a good. He was left there sitting at the table as he rest his head on his hands. Certainly he wasn't about to give up on Severus no matter what he could hear. He had already heard a lot of things about him from a few people, which he knew to be blatant lies. He knew he would have to changed a lot of opinions if he only told them even a little bit of what he knew now but he knew better than to start spreading his friend personal matters all over the place. He only just gained his confidence and he wasn't about to flush it down the drain. If he only knew that it would have been better to follow Severus just now he would have… but he didn't.

Severus was walking around in the corridor when he sensed that something was off. He turned around and saw nothing so he just kept walking as if nothing had happened. Just then Potter jumped out from behind the corner and called out expelliarmus and Severus' wand flew out of his grasps before he had any time to say anything. Only then did those cowards dared nearer him. He looked around in almost a panicking way to see if there was anyway out but there was any. Black was coming down one-way and the other way Potter was coming down. He still didn't give in to them but kept his nerves in check, as he knew he was smarter than these idiots. He started in his usual way and tried to play for some time without cringing before them.

"So…after the last time you realized that the only way you could attack me is to disarm me and make certain that I have no way to escape. Isn't that a cowardly way to act? And here I thought that Gryffindors were supposed to be so brave but clearly I was wrong! He never knew where he got the courage to speak the way he did but he wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. Perhaps adrenaline had just kicked in but he didn't really care where it came from. Somewhere inside he was afraid but there was no way he would ever show how much to those idiots. He just walked straight at the silent Black who had his wand with the hopes of getting it back without too much of a fight. However luck just wasn't on his side.

"Hem hem, you forgot that you were the one without your wand I reckon. Other whys you would be pleading for your wand back already. We might just consider giving it back to you if you listen to us just a bit. You've been a bit too conceited for our taste and we thought that we better correct the matter. Bow to us and give us your word that you will not even look at Lily for this moment forward. Or our wands might just slip a bit if you're not cooperating. The Potter brat was staring at him with an annoyingly contented expression on his face and perhaps he was even thinking that he might get him to obey him. But he would never do that. Experience had taught him never to give in even a little bit if anyone was trying to bully him. Not even defense was keeping them away from him but letting them rule over him was not an option. He usually tried talking himself out of these situations but it only worked to let them know that he wasn't giving up. Though the truth was different it was best not to show it on the outside. Of course the best option was not to be around them but living in a small city, moreover going to the same school it wasn't easy, however he always tried.

But now. He met his bully's eyes and glared at him as best he could. And his glare was certainly good. He had practiced to do a pretty good 'death glare' for these situations. It was a good way to cover his uncertainty. And it was working even if only a little bit. He saw the prats exchanging quick glances at each other. The corners of his mouth rose slightly and he strode up to Black to grab his wand back. If he got it he could get away. Black wasn't about to give it up though. He used his own wand and Severus found his legs glued together. However he was near enough to hit Black so he did. Then something surprising happened which made Severus even more on the alert than he already was.

He found his legs free and his wand at his feet. He was totally perplexed by what had caused that because he was certain it wasn't his punch that had made it happen. He picked up his wand and turned around and saw what the reason was and groaned in that instance. He remembered too well his first encounter with Professor McGonagall. Why it had to be here that interfere? Moreover now he was formally Slytherin and surely the head of Gryffindor house would side with her own students. He lost the words and didn't know what to say any longer. He just looked helplessly at McGonagall. Who looked at them with a stern expression. As he glanced at Black he saw an annoying contented expression on his face thought his nose was bleeding, more likely he would get some pity points from his own head of house. No kidding as a moment later the professor saw his bleeding nose and as soon as she saw it her looked softened somewhat and when she looked at him she was already glaring again. Severus sighed as he knew he was already guilty in her mind. The professor spoke in a loathing voice.

"So you hit Mr. Black! Why?" He thought to try the truth though he was almost certain she wouldn't believe him anyways. Too bad his voice came out in too pleading sound quality.

"I was only defending myself. He took my wand, I swear that!" the professor was looking very suspicious and he asked Potter next.

"Mr. Potter, I believe you saw everything." As he confirmed that by nodding she said. "What was it you saw?" Potter had hard time trying to cover up his contentment but he did it somewhat. He glared at Severus and said. However when McGonagall glanced at Severus again Potter smiled ironically at Severus for second. Severus could only look on in horror as he was set up to get the blame.

"We were walking through the corridors as this boy came up behind us. We hardly had any time to disarm him as he was about to attach us. Even though he lost his wand he still continued without it. You came just then." McGonagall turned his look at Severus again who was opening and closing his mouth like a wish out of water. Severus was almost resigned to his destiny but he tried to say something weakly.

"I swear it didn't happen like that. I…" McGonagall silenced him with waving of her hand and started to give orders.

"Mr. Potter, make certain that Mr. Black goes to the hospital wing. Mr. Snape, you follow me to my office." So McGonagall started to stride to her office as both despicable dunderheads went in the opposite direction both smirking and hardly able to keep from laughing. Severus sent a last 'designed death glare at them before he shook his head and turned to follow the teacher. This was feeling all too familiar and he found no power to fight against it anymore. He felt emptier than anything else just now after his adrenaline rush. He just followed meekly until they reached her office. There she wrote a short note and sent him to his own head of house. As he walked downstairs he was totally lost in his own thoughts.

Lucius came up beside him and when he didn't get an answer to his greeting he lowered his hand to his friend shoulder. Lucius certainly got his total attention. Severus turned around quickly as he felt the hand and was clearly on alert. He met the angry look in his friend's eyes before he recognized who was behind him and then he saw relieved expression next. However after a second he was looking lost again. He asked where he was going and as he muttered to Joe's office Lucius frown and he asked why. He got evasive answers, however Severus showed him the letter in his hands. As they continued walking to the dungeons he was trying to get more information out of his friend. He finally admitted looking embarrassed that it was from McGonagall. Lucius just looked at him for a moment before Severus snapped at him.

"Look, it is none of your business whatever it is and I really should be going there now." They had reached their head of the house office.

Severus knocked timidly and waited for the call to come in. Soon enough the door opened and Professor Nichols called him in and he went leaving Lucius to wonder what was up now.

First off, thanks a lot for you Kendra! I do love having even you reviewing my story! (looking around for seeing if there is anyone else reading it?) And Kendra, I admit I have a soft spot for Severus and here I find myself trying to make it better for him that soon though I was first meaning to give him a bit harder times. I just find I cannot not want to do it as bad I first meant! I'm intending him to start trusting Lucius but slowly, bit a bit! I just know what I'm telling about as I say that in real that kind person would have a lot problems trusting anyone no matter what that person does. I do admit I have personal experiences on the matter and I do understand Severus too much more than I even want to. I do understand what it is like to be in that position as he is.

Now, I professor Snape order you to review my story! If not... (giving own designed death glare) I'll look forward seeing you scrubbing my cauldrons...(eyes madly gleaming)