"Just looking for my partner. Pretty girl. Thinks she can leap tall buildings in a single bound, carries the weight of the world on her shoulders, yet still manages to laugh at some of my jokes." R.C.

Chapter 5

Kate could feel the wet morning dew soaking through her leggings as she knelt in the grass, each ragged breath forcing its way out of her body as her mind spiralled out of control. Castle wasn't in the car, the burnt body wasn't his, Castle was alive...he was alive, where was he? Castle was out there somewhere waiting for her. Was he injured? Was he in pain? Who had him? Why would someone take Castle? The never ending questions stuttering through her mind in time with her shattered breathing.

Resting her forehead on her raised arms, Kate allowed the tears of relief to flow, not bothering to wipe the stem of salty water as they tracked down her face. Falling back onto her heels, Kate doubled over in response to the release of heart wrenching pain she had been suppressing over the last day.

She wasn't sure how long she knelt in the cold grass but slowly her tears turned to quiet sniffles and her breathing settled to shallow rasps. Kate looked up into the bright clear morning sky, the gentle Hamptons breeze ruffling the curls that had escaped her ponytail, her back stiffening with resolve as she made a silent promise to Castle. Stay strong Rick, I will find you...Always.

Kate grabbed her phone and made a quick call before jogging back in the direction of their house. The short distance home gave Kate time to centre her thoughts and plan a course of action. Nothing was going to stop her from finding Castle and bringing him home. He had promised her a wedding and she intended them to have it.

As she headed down the tree-lined driveway to the house, Kate felt like her world that had been tilting further and further off kilter was finally starting to right itself. She would never be fully centred until Rick was by her side but she had purpose now, she had a direction to focus on.

Kate jogged up the front steps, frantic energy swirling around her as she headed to the kitchen to find her family. She entered the room to find Martha and Alexis quietly sipping coffee at the counter as her Dad cooked at the stove top, the silence in the room palpable.

"Katherine dear, have you been out jogging" Martha asked noticing the tall girl as she strode into the room. Martha was glad that the rigidity in her posture that had seeped in over the day yesterday was gone, leaving in its place an energy that she couldn't describe. Alexis jumped up to give Kate her seat when she saw her father's fiancé enter.

"Martha, Alexis" Kate exclaimed, wrapping her slim arms around Alexis unable to control her joy.

"Rick's alive, he's alive" she said as she swung Alexis around, the soft laugh escaping her lips.

"Kate?" Alexis' soft question reflecting the disbelief evident on Martha's face. Kate felt the younger girl start to tremble in her arms as her words penetrated the cloak of grief shrouding her. She watched as her father dropped the pan onto the stove and the tears rolled down Martha's face, uninhibited.

"Katherine, Are you sure?" Kate could see the budding hope spring forth in his mother's eyes.

"Yes, we have preliminary evidence that it wasn't Castle in the car" Kate encouraged Alexis to sit down as she described in brief detail Lanie's evidence.

Reluctant to waste any more time sitting around whilst Rick was still missing, Kate left the shell shocked redheads in her father's care with a promise to call as soon as she heard anything.

"Anything Kate!" the cry resounding in her ears, Kate hurriedly dressed and headed out to her car. Pausing just long enough to grab her service weapon and extra piece from the study safe. She clipped her badge to her belt and pulled her detective mask firmly in place as her phone vibrated in her pocket. Kate pulled it out to see Esposito's face staring back at her, his face caught in the permanent grin she had managed to catch on the sly during a slow day at the precinct.

"Esposito?"

"Kate, where are you?"

"Heading your way now" Kate switched to Bluetooth as she climbed into her Crown Vic, glad that she had brought her own car to the Hamptons. "What do you have?"

"We managed to track down video from one of the gate cams along Castle's route. We got lucky, managed to get a grainy video of the ambush. Looks like there were two dark colored SUVs involved. Kate, he was kidnapped and there's no doubting that he was the target."

"Did you get licence plates?"

"A partial on one. First four digits-Ryan's running them as we speak. He's sent the images to the tech team at the 12th, we're hoping that they can clean them up a bit"

"Ok, good, we have a start" Kate paused, inwardly cringing at the next question but desperate to know the answer. Her palms clammy as she wrapped them more tightly around the steering wheel. "Did you see him Javi? Was he ok?" she whispered, her gaze fixed on the road ahead but not really seeing it. Images of Castle being assaulted and injured flashing before her.

"Yeah, you can see him. He's ok Beckett, a little beat up but only cause he was trying to be Jason Bourne. Looks like he hit the fence trying to get away." Esposito left out information on the guns and Castle being knocked unconscious, figuring she would see the video for herself soon enough and he was reluctant to be the one to break that news to the usually strong detective.

"God, good, that's good" Kate gasped, relaxing her death grip on the steering wheel, as she released the breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding. He was injured but alive. Kate felt her hands start to tremble on the wheel as relief flooded through her.

"And the kidnappers?" Kate focused on her interrogation of Esposito to give her some semblance of control, her emotions threatening to spill out like a tsunami yet again. She wiped a hand across her tired eyes, drawing in slow jaggered breaths as she fought desperately for control. This wasn't her, since her mother's death she had only allowed herself to slip a few times, times that she could count on one hand. But the thought of a future without Rick had shattered her, torn away her defences and left her a quivering mess. Kate knew she needed to gain back some control if she was going to be any help in finding him. Ignoring the rushing sound of her blood in her ears, she focused on the younger detective's voice.

"…all wearing disguises, I can count six not including the drivers. They move with precision so I'm thinking ex-military maybe militia trained. Definitely not amateurs."

"Ok, that's a place to start. Look into local militia groups, any locals with the money to pay for a private army." Kate theorised, finally able to do what she was trained to do.

"What about Bracken? He has the money, the connections and the motive for this." Kate heard Ryan's voice jump into the conversation.

"Bracken's number one suspect at this time, but honestly this doesn't feel like him. Why target Rick when he could have just come for me. Plus his network is fast collapsing since we arrested him. I'm not sure he has enough pull to do this." Kate replied "But I'm not discounting him entirely. I made a call to Rachel McCord, my ex-partner at the AG. She'll put out some feelers and see what bumps. In the meantime we need to compile a list of other suspects."

"Already on it. We'll have a list ready by the time you get here." Esposito stated "Ryan's accessing your old case notes to see what falls out. Captain Gates has approved the tech support"

"Anyone else you can think of who has the resources for this?" Ryan asked

Kate shivered as images of Dr Kelly Neiman and Jerry Tyson flashed before her. Cold revenge was just Tyson's style and if anyone had a grudge against Castle it was that psychopath and his chilly girlfriend. "Add Tyson and Neiman to your list" she gulped as she put words to her thoughts, images of Castle in their hands making her shake again as nausea swirled in her stomach. Though she still hoped that the psychopath was dead after that bridge fall she was not going to leave any rock uncovered in her search for Castle.

"Beckett…" the strangled sound escaping Ryan. Kate could hear her unspoken fear echoed in his voice.

"I know Ryan," she whispered "But this plan was well executed, they knew he was going to be travelling along that road at that time, and far from being a disorganised killer, Tyson is the most meticulous of any suspects. Don't discount him just because this isn't his style. He has proven he's not afraid to use partners in the past and he has just the patience needed to plan this. I'm scared this may be one time that Castle was right and he didn't die on that bridge." Kate acknowledged.

"I'll run Kelly Neiman and see if any activity pops." Espositio stated

"Check for any murders in Tyson's MO in the local area, he's a sick sociopath who wouldn't be able to resist a little fun whilst he waited for Castle." Kate shuddered at the thought "and speaking of knowing, how did they know that Castle would be there. We didn't change the venue til the day before. Even most of the guests didn't know til the day of. "

"You think someone leaked the information?" Ryan stated

"Maybe." Kate murmured, her mind already running the possibilities.

"Between the guests, the hired staff and the minister, that's a lot of suspects to run" Esposito exclaimed "We need to find a way to narrow it down. If we run them all, we'll be bogged down in warrants and financials til next month"

"Ok let's begin with the hired staff. Include the Hamptons and the New York ones, run backgrounds on them all. I want to know who owes who money, who has a gambling problem, who's lost their job. I want to know everything about them." Kate stated, her "Detective Beckett" voice firmly in place.

"Why the New York contractors?" Ryan asked "Shouldn't we limit our search to the Hamptons?"

"The other venue was burnt down which forced us to shift venues at the last minute." Kate replied "I'm not sure why they had circus performers on a roof top in the first place but something is dodgy about the whole accident and that's where our plans were first diverted into the hands of the kidnappers. It's a place to start"

"A roof top is a hard place to kidnap someone from. They had to get Castle out in the open, somewhere not as populated as New York City. Less witnesses, less interference, less chance of being caught. Makes sense" Esposito replied

"Yeah, too much sense" Kate stated. "Espo, you start the backgrounds, Ryan continue running the partial. I'll be there in five." Kate punched the end button on her phone, not waiting for the boys reply. She needed to think, mulling over the evidence they already had and the possibilities. Everything had started to go off track since their venue was burnt down. All the delays and misadventures had led them here, to the Hamptons, to the perfect place for Castle's kidnapping. But who would want Castle. Even though she had asked Rachel to look into Bracken, this didn't feel like his style. If he wanted to punish her by going after Castle he would have just killed him. Bracken didn't hesitate at killing people who got in his way. No this was someone who wanted Rick alive, who wanted something that Castle knew or thought he knew.

Kate slowed down as the single storey building housing the Hamptons Police Department came into view. She remembered her last visit here clearly, the first time she had been led in in handcuffs. She had been peeved at Castle for ruining their first weekend away, for not letting it go, for needing to poke and prod in his usual manner until the story made sense. Kate stepped out of the car, wishing that Castle was with her now. She needed his out of the box thinking for this one and she was scared that she wasn't up to the task.

"No ghosts, werewolves or zombies this time, babe" she murmured as she stepped into the cool interior of the police station. "God, what I wouldn't give to have you by my side, even in handcuffs"

"Detective Beckett" Chief Brady exclaimed as he crossed the bull pen to reach her. "Your ME informed me about the misidentification. I'm very glad that it wasn't Mr Castle." He rambled, as he approached.

"Er..yes…thanks" Kate replied, reluctant to reveal more.

"I have Detective Ryan and Esposito set up in my office. It has more room and the light is better in there. I'm sorry that there's only one computer but your Captain is sending up more with one of your techs. Umm… Tory…er…something…I have her name written down here somewhere." Kate watched as Brady pulled several scraps of paper from his pockets.

"It's fine Chief. If you can show me where my detectives are then you can bring me up to date." Kate replied. Glad to be allowed to participate in this investigation, knowing that the chief could have refused to allow her to be a part.

"Can I get you a coffee" Brady asked, trailing after the detective as she ate up the distance to his office with a determination and grace that was stunning.

"God, no" Kate stuttered, nausea swirling in her stomach at the thought of coffee made by anyone but Castle. "er..sorry but no thanks" A fleeting image of Castle filled her vision, coffee cup in hand, light streaming through the blinds in the chief's offices as he sipped and a delighted sigh escaping his lips as he smiled "hmmm, flavor country".

"Beckett" Ryan exclaimed as she entered the office, causing Castle's image to recede and disappear.

Kate haltered at the threshold her gaze drawn to the white murder board set up in front of the large windows in the Chief's office. She felt her heart thud and pause, then stutter into life again as Castle's familiar face stared back at her from the centre of the board. His cocky grin and blue eyes accentuated by the slight scruff of a beard. She knew this picture, it was his dust jacket photo from the Nikki Heat books. She couldn't count the number of times she had stared at that picture, early on his cocky grin would mock her attempts to ignore the growing attraction and need between them. She had never really explained how much his words meant to her, how they had pulled her from her misery after her mother's death, how they had given her life a direction and purpose that ultimately saved her from the destructive path she had been heading down. How when she could barely find the strength to lift her hand to turn a page after her shooting, his words had resonated somewhere within her and given her soul the strength that her wounded body lacked. How his words had healed her heart more than any surgery could. Kate sucked in a deep breath and then forced it out. She would tell him, once he has back, she would sit down and open up that last hidden pocket of herself that she hadn't realised til now that she was still keeping tucked away, safe from harm. The stupid thing was Castle was the last person who would harm her and the only person who truly understood her.

Focusing on her breathing, Kate swung her gaze from her fiancé's face to the evidence laid out around him. Bracken, Jerry Tyson, even Vincent Cardono stared back at her from the suspect list.

"Cardono, really?" Kate stated

"He has the money, the contacts to carry this out and he's local" Esposito replied, moving to stand at her right as Ryan crowded into the left, physically telling her that they were here for her and Castle. Kate turned from one to the other, her lips tilted up in a semblance of a smile, silently acknowledging their partnership.

"But he doesn't have motive" Kate did not believe that the retired mobster held any grudge against Castle for his not so subtle probing last summer. "We ran into him when we were up here last month, no hard feelings on Vinnie's behalf. It's not him"

"I checked with his housekeeper, Mr Cardono has been visiting his sister in Florida for the last month. He left soon after your visit up here." Brady replied

"Ok, we keep him up there but we don't waste too many resources on checking dead ends." Kate stated. They had too many suspects and not enough time. They needed something to narrow the field. All they needed was a new lead however small to tell them what direction to focus on. "What else?"

"I've managed to narrow down possible plates to just 22 in the tri-state area that fit the SUV on the video. Looks like a black or dark blue Escalade. Tory's running the plates now, we should have a manageable list by this afternoon." Ryan stated

"I want to watch the video" Kate exclaimed, holding out her hand to Ryan. Her posture not allowing for any argument.

"We've watched it several times, there's nothing else on it Beckett. There's no need for you to watch it" Despite the words of protest, Ryan reluctantly placed the USB drive in Kate's hand. He'd kept it in his pocket, knowing that she would want to see it as soon as she arrived. He watched as Kate's hand trembled as she wrapped her fingers around the drive.

"Thanks," Kate whispered, "but this is something I have to do. I have to see him"

Ryan nodded "I've set up a laptop in the interrogation room. You can watch it in there."

Kate reached out touching Ryan's arm in acknowledgement of the privacy he was giving her. She walked into the interrogation room, memories of being here with Castle swamping her. Kate steadied her breath, halting the tears before they could fall. She was done with crying, Castle needed her to be strong, he needed her to be the best cop she could be. Falling into a quivering mess was not going to help him. Settling into the bare metal chair, Kate slid the USB into the drive and pressed play as soon as the file popped up. Taking a moment to shut her eyes, she took several slow breaths as the file buffered and loaded on the old out of date laptop that Brady had managed to rustle up. Obviously the Hamptons PD didn't have the budget that the NYPD had.

Kate watched the black and white and slightly grainy image of the SUV, an Escalade with dark tinted windows as Ryan had suggested, silently pull up in front of the gate camera, blocking the road to oncoming traffic. Kate leaned in close to the monitor trying to make out the plate, hoping that she might be able to identify more numbers despite the grainy quality.

"Oh God!" Kate gasped as Rick's Mercedes came into view. She watched as the car skidded to a stop, a cloud of dust exploding up in a cloud behind the car as it swerved to avoid a collision. She watched silently as masked men climbed out of the stationary SUV and a second one which had pulled up behind the Mercedes. Holding her breath as the tightness increased in her chest she could only watch as the driver's door was forced open and Castle was yanked from car. Kate cried out when a gun was placed to his head.

"Don't, don't please Rick. Do whatever they say, don't play the hero" She whispered, only too aware of his tendency to either play the hero or the fool in these scenarios. He needed to stay unharmed, he needed to come back to her and his family.

"Idiot!" She cursed as she watched him say something to the masked man holding the gun on him.

"No, no, please no" Kate squeezed her eyes shut at the image of Rick diving behind the cars, only a second later she forced her eyes to open realising that she needed to see this, and caught sight of Castle leaping towards the fence, only to be tackled to the ground a split second later, his bid for freedom a failure. Kate stabbed blindly at the pause button as tears streamed down her face and she watched as the video froze on the image of her fiancé crumbled on the ground. Kate rested her head on the desk, drawing in one burning breath after another. She could feel the panic start to rise and was useless to prevent it. Kate knew she was hyperventilating as her head started to spin but all she could see was Castle's body hitting that fence post and then crumbling to the ground. Even without sound, Kate could hear Castle's agonised cry echoing in her ears keeping pace with the thumping of her own pulse. This wasn't how today was supposed to be, they should be sitting in a jet heading to their honeymoon by now. But instead Castle was god only knows where with these men and she was sitting alone without a clue how to find him.

Kate caught the sob as it worked its way up into her throat, threatening to burst forth. She would be damned if she would spend another second crying whilst Castle was out they waiting for her to find him. She needed to put her emotions away and focus on getting him back, she needed to be Detective Beckett today and not Kate.

Wiping away the few tears that had dared to crawl free, she focused once again on the laptop screen in front of her. Drawing in a few deep breaths she pressed play and watched as her fiancé was forcefully lifted to his feet for the second time only to freeze in horror as he takes a punch to his abdomen, the air forced from her lungs in shared torment. Kate suppressed a cry, resisting the urge to close her eyes and shut out the images. Kate forced herself to watch as her fiancé was grabbed by his throat and jolted off his feet the image too grainy to make out Castle's face but she knew the struggle for breath, the pain she would see etched on his face as if she was standing next to him. His blue eyes would darken as the lack of oxygen threatened to pull him under.

"Please, please let him go" Kate whispered, her heart shattering even as she refused to let another tear spill.

Castle crumpled to the ground as his legs were kicked out from underneath him by the masked man who brutally held his throat between his fingers. She could just make out the movement of his mouth but with no sound she couldn't be certain what he said but the slump of his head and the slide of his body to the ground told her that he had lost consciousness. The last image she had of Castle was that of his lifeless body being lifted into the back of the SUV. A second body was removed from the other SUV and loaded into the Mercedes. She watched as something was rigged in around the body and the steering wheel before the Mercedes and pushed back out into the middle of the road. As the car started and then moved out of sight, Kate shuddered as the image of the fiery crashed superimposed itself over the grainy image before her. She watched as the video ended as the SUVs drove out of range of the lens, leaving an empty road in their wake and no further clue to her fiancé's whereabouts.

Pushing back into the chair, Kate stretched her longs legs relieving the cramped muscles as she restarted the video and watched again. Grabbing a note pad and pen she started to write down a description of the cars and kidnappers, trying to spot any detail that might provide a clue.

Kate couldn't be sure how many times she had rewatched the video when she heard the scrap of the door being opened. Pausing the video she stretched her neck releasing it from its locked position as she turned to acknowledge Ryan's arrival. Taking in his dishevelled appearance with his rolled shirt sleeves and loose tie she could tell that the lack of momentum was taking its toll on his friends as well.

"Hey" She turned up her lips in greeting, attempting a sad excuse for a smile and nodded towards the empty chair in the room.

"Hey" She watched as he placed two mugs on the table in front of her.

"Er..Ryan… thanks but really I…" she stammered, her explanation cut short by Ryan placing the mug in her outstretched hand.

"It's not coffee, Beckett" His clear blue eyes crinkling in concern as he wrapped her fingers around the warm mug. "It's chamomile tea from Chief Brady's personal stash."

"It's just coffee, you know, it's…"

"It's Castle's thing" Ryan smiled "Yeah, we know. I remember when that guy you were dating from robbery brought you coffee, Castle looked so crushed that you would take coffee from someone else. We all knew then what coffee meant to both of you. I don't think I ever saw him without a to-go cup in each hand. He must have personally kept that coffee shop in business over the years."

"No there was a couple of times he didn't" she whispered, remembering the hard times after the bombing case when Castle had stopped bringing her coffee and then eventually stopped coming to the precinct all together. "He took me to that coffee shop soon after we started seeing each other. I think they all thought I was a figment of his imagination over the years, the grande skinny latte with two pumps of sugar free vanilla syrup figment that he had made up just like Derrick Storm or Nikki Heat."

"Coffee just doesn't taste the same without him." She whispered in explanation.

"We will get him back, Kate" Ryan leaned in, his clear blue eyes glistening with determination and unshed tears.

"Don't, please don't. You and I have both seen the tragic, unfair and undeserved destruction that others can wreck in life and you can't promise me something that you have no control over. "She bit out as she wrenched her gaze from his. Kate could feel the burning sensation start in her chest and make its way up into her throat as she clenched her eyes shut against the tears threatening to spill.

"I can promise you that none of us will get a wink of sleep or rest until we find out what happened to him. That I will promise you. We have faced bigger mysteries in the past and we have solved them, we just need one lead, just one little clue that they left behind and we will get them." He promised.

"I know, I know. But we really need one of Castle's unbelievable theories right now because all of mine are leading to more dead ends and unanswered questions. Ryan, I don't know where to start and the longer we take to find a lead the further away he is slipping. "

"Then we need to think like him. He always said that the story had to make sense. So what makes sense with this story, his story." Ryan stated

"Nothing makes sense" Kate replied, "That's the problem, none of this makes sense. Who gets kidnapped on the way to their wedding by masked men with machine guns. Who leaves a dead body in a burning car for the unwitting bride to find. How do you get circus performers to burn down a restaurant. Who does that stuff."

"Exactly, who does that sort of stuff." Ryan exclaimed, jumping up to pace the room. "sociopaths, psychopaths…"

"And mystery writers?" Kate half laughs, half sobs.

"Unless Patterson is taking his revenge for Castle outranking him on the last Times bestseller list, I think we can rule out another writer."

"So that leaves us with all the sociopaths and psychopaths out there."

"What about a fan"

"You think a crazed fan arranged for this bizarre kidnapping." Kate asked "I mean, he does have some crazy fans but I mean this seems too well coordinated and too well funded for a fan"

"Well we should check the fan sites anyway. Who collects his fan mail? Does it come to the loft?"

"God no, I think he collects it from Gina at Black Pawn. He always seems to have loads with him when he comes home from his meetings with Gina."

"Ok, I'll give her a call, see if she can send us the creepy ones."

"Thanks, unfortunately I have a feeling that there may be loads of creepy ones, he seems to attract them. The 'master of the macabre' and all that."

"Weren't you one of his fans. 'From the library of Katherine Beckett' if I remember correctly" Ryan smirked, remembering a box full of books that she had produced within hours of those first copy cat killings five years ago. His smile deepened as he watched the blush creep across Kate's face and she swatted his arm.

"Ha, I was never one of those. If anything he was the creepy one back then, following me around all the time. Refusing to leave even when I practically showed him the door and hailed a cab for him. God I even arrested him and he still came back." She smiled remembering his unrelenting determination to continue to follow her.

"That's because he was already hallway in love with you" Ryan stated, pleased to have erased the grief from her eyes if even for just a minute.

"Ha, he would disagree with you. He said he only stayed because he was having so much fun playing cop. But I knew he was lying then, I always knew" She whispered, the smile slipping from her eyes as she remembered standing on a bomb and even then her continual battle with herself to never be the one to wear her heart on her sleeve. "and I was halfway in love with him, even before I even liked him." She gave Ryan a sad smile as a tear slipped from the corner of her eye. She quickly looked away as the door burst open and Esposito skidded through the door.

"Er..Yo..Beckett, we've located one of the SUVs. Let's go"