Heyyy again! Missed me? I hope even a bit : ). First off I don't own anything you recognize from anything else! I can claim to own just my twisted plot and some characters. I feel like I'm playing chess game with Rowling's characters… What would be next move… lol. And Sherry! I do love your great job with betareading my chapters! Not mention the way you always find to way to encourage me to go on with this story : ) . You get me feeling as I'm almost perfect at English though I know the truth : ) I hope I can keep you forever and always! Yet more… I'm sorry for delay! I took a bit to summon up my muse and then when I had done with chapter my betareader had problems in connections but here I am now! Please go ahead and read!

Chapter 14

Severus was happy that the day was finally over. The day was almost too much for him and he was tired of keeping his feelings inside. He certainly missed the times when he could go to his own room and lock himself in. Here he couldn't do that. He tried to think of any spell that would give him a bit more privacy. He realized that there was perhaps only one way. He dug through his knapsack. He took his charms book out and searched until he found the charm that could put a silencing spell around his bed. No sound would escape outside of the curtains. After he cast the charm he slumped on the bed and closed his eyes. He wasn't really sleepy. All the things that swirled around in his head fast and he jumped from one thought to another without really thinking about anything. He knew he had another way to block his thoughts off and that was what he decided to do, as he didn't want to dwell on what he considered his ridiculous feelings. He needed a light but a flashlight was out of the question, as it wouldn't work here. He thought about what he could do for a bit when he discovered a spell, which could get his want to shine some light. Luckily the curtains around his bed were a dark green material so dark in fact no light would shine through it.

He took another item from his knapsack, which was a book. Not his usual schoolbooks but something more along the line of a fictional text. Well, it was written by a muggle but it was still an exceptionally good one. It was a horror book written by Stephen King, who was absolutely his favorite author. He desperately tried his best to keep his feelings at bay until the simple muggle book could enchant him. Whoever said muggles couldn't do any magic? It was much like magic how these books enchanted his mind into forgetting everything around him. He didn't notice anything when he was immersed in one of these stories. These books had practically saved his life as it always gave him something else to think about when everything was going to hell in a hand basket around him. He read the title on the book, "Dream Catcher". As he opened the book he became engrossed in the story as some strange man staggered to the cabin in the middle of the forest looking very ill. He was already in another world set behind his mental shields for now. He was happy and excited, which wasn't an everyday occurrence for him.

Lucius rolled around in his bed; he knew what had happened to Severus. He understood partly why his friend acted as he did and it didn't make him happy. He could imagine that after losing his mother it really had affected Severus and his father's lives a lot. He certainly understood why Severus despised those stupid Gryffindors after getting to know what was going on between Severus and them. Not to mention the dislike of muggles, which Lucius thought, was well deserved. It wasn't really new to him after his Dad's lessons of whom to make friends with. He didn't really know that much about muggles but Severus was confirming most of his suspicions about them. That only made him happy that he had followed his Dad's instructions. His dad had known what he had been talking about.

However he wasn't so certain why Severus was shying off from every bit of attention. Also he over reacted to many of the things that anyone else would have just forgotten. The things that were connected with school stuff he had explained but most of the sentences were never finished. Clearly he hadn't been the most popular student at his old school…but was that really so bad? He really had to admit that he didn't know about that stuff too much and Severus wasn't too eager to speak about it obviously. So it wasn't worth the effort to try to get him to talk about it as it would probably only cause him to back away again. Anytime he tried to advise or ask questions Severus would back away. Even then he wanted to know more about what had happened that cause him to act the way he did. He realized that he would have to ask his grandpa about the matter. He was always so smart with all matters. He just wouldn't tell his grandpa who the person in question was that's all. He finally drifted to sleep after making up his mind about what to do. He would ask his grandpa.

Sunday morning came and people were starting to wake up. So were Lucius and Severus who were both looking forward to the day. Severus was in a good mood and he ate with relish and Lucius was happy to see it. Too many times Severus just pushed his food around his plate and hardly ate anything at all. Moreover when Severus ate it meant he was clearly in a good mood Lucius thought that contently. He was happy to see that Severus was even chatting with him actively this time. They were just leaving as another group of Slytherins came in to chat with them or more likely with Lucius. Severus was shrinking away and trying to become invisible. He didn't say anything to anyone. Lucius tried asking some question to get him included in the group but he only got one-word answers and Severus just couldn't look at him any longer when he answered. Severus just looked pitiful standing there waiting for them to stopped chatting. He stood in the background as if it was a perfectly normal place to be. Eventually Lucius stopped trying to get him involved in the discussion, as it was hopeless. Well, at least he tried. That behavior confirmed that Lucius really should ask his grandpa if he could advise him somehow.

They both were walking out again without the other people and Severus was back to his normal self again. Lucius sighed inaudible. So that's the way it's going to be with him. He didn't want to endanger the fragile peace so he didn't push Severus about how he had acted with the other Slytherins. They spoke about trivial thing for some time before they headed inside to look for an empty classroom for their practice usage. Severus had an idea of where they could go as he still remembered the time when he was cleaning that one classroom for detention. Both boys took their knapsacks and headed down there. The door was really open and as soon as they got inside they were certain that room was unused. They dragged one of the worn out table and two chairs into middle of the classroom. Severus put his potion materials and few potions ingredients on the table. Lucius was only watching, as his friend was making the potion he explained what he was doing and why.

"She always told me to add two drops of aconites oil more and one freshly ground Ophioglossum leaf. Both should be added at the same time if you wanted exact result. Then you should let it simmer for exact two minutes. Extra aconites oil makes it stronger but at the same time it becomes unstable so it needs the Ophioglossum's leaf to stabilize it so it won't blow up when you simmer it. Now it's made. You see this is actually quite an easy trick."

Lucius was staring at his friend's work habits. Lucius' mouth just hung open as Severus was simply so… good at it. He hadn't realized before but here Severus was actually turning out to be a really good potion maker. As he made it seem like a piece of the cake which potion making certainly wasn't. He decided to ask Severus some more about improvement over the potion.

"I know normal potion takes a few hours to work so how quickly will it work now and does it change its strength as well?" Severus just smiled before answering.

"Actually both. It's quite a bit stronger now also it will work in one hour and (gulping added) it even removes very bad bruising. She…usually didn't allow me to make it but I watched as she made it sometimes and it just stuck in my head. I have her old potions book actually and there is quite a few tips written in the margins." He fell silent and was clearly lost in his own thoughts. It was hard to say if it was an exactly happy or sad thought that caused him to have such a faraway look on his face.

For a few minutes nothing was said but then Severus snapped out of his reveries. For some reason he was eager to change the topic and Lucius knowingly let him do it.

"Well, that's all that matter I guess." Severus said as he continued, "I was wondering about a spell though… I wondered if you knew of any spells which could take your wand away?" Lucius knew that he was being led away from the previous conversation but he allowed Severus to do it willingly. After all it was part of being a Slytherin to act like that. It really wasn't a miracle Severus was sorted into that house. Sighing he glanced at Severus as he drank the before-mentioned potion now without much more comment about it. He let the topic slip then and just answered the question.

"Yes, there is one it's called the expelliarmus spell which is probably the one you are speaking about. I reckon you've seen it used as you are asking about it?" A slight nod confirmed that and Severus lowered his face to look at the floor… Lucius thought that by lowering his head it meant that most likely that someone had used it on Severus here at Hogwarts. He tried to shake that thought out of his head and just answered his

question.

"I can teach you both the charm itself and countercharm. They are actually pretty commonly known ones so it's really is worth the effort to learn it."

"Sounds like the one I was thinking about, he added bitterly. I didn't think dummies like them would know those extraordinary spells. So… please tell me the incantation!"

They started to practice that one spell. It was actually quite easy for Severus and he picked up the first spell in just a half an hour. Of course the counter curse took a bit more time to master. However even Lucius got in some real practice because he didn't have a change to try it with a wand before Hogwarts. After one hour both of them were incanting each other's wands away successfully and blocking the curse as well. The only problem would be those dunderheads wouldn't give prior warning to using the curse. Severus didn't want to thing about that just yet. He felt quite satisfied with himself as they headed to lunch. As they were eating he glanced over at the Gryffindor table and those idiots were staring back with meaningful glares. He just gave them his practiced "death glare". He wasn't feeling so totally paralyzed now thought he was in the middle of the great hall which was mostly because of his earlier contentment. He never could shake off being on his guard if there were a lot of people around. It was better to be safe that sorry.

They soon got a surprise visitor, Antonio Dolohow. Severus never saw the suspicious glances that came their way from the Gryffindor table. He was too preoccupied by the new visitor. Lucius on the other hand was quite enthusiastic as he saw who the person coming there was was. He knew Antonio's dad by reputation and he was quite pleased that someone like him would honor them with his presence. He was genuinely surprised when Antonio greeted Severus and then asked his name. Lucius got a bigger surprise when Severus started to act in a different way than he usually did. He was still shy of himself but in a much different way. He was trying to show off or something as if he was actually trying to advertise how well he was doing in classes. He didn't get the exact image that his friend was relaxed but he was trying to seem as if he wasn't so shy but you could still see it shining through if you looked closely enough. Altogether he was happy that he actually got the honor of being in such company as Antonio. He was part of the respected Slytherin group so perhaps that was the reason the Severus was trying to appear more outspoken. Perhaps it was forced but still it was nice to see him trying to appear more talkative even though there were more people. They were chatting mostly about mundane things such as classes but it was a very pleasant half of hour.

After all of them left the great hall and Antonio whet his own way Lucius' eyelids shop up as he looked at Severus curiously. He commented dryly to Severus.

"Quite the company you've found here. Did you know that he is part of the respected group here? How come he decided to come and sit by us like that? I guess you also knew that by the way you were acting. You know it's a very smart move to be friendly with him as it might do some good!"

"Yeah, he is in quite a group. I'd never think that I'd be accepted to hang around with his group as I'm not like them. He came to me once earlier this week after that fiasco in charms class." Lucius refrained from sighing as he heard that comment. To him it wasn't a fiasco but turned out quite successful as the teacher had noticed. He held back the comment about it and just continued.

"And now he comes to visit a second time…do you honestly think he would have come over here if he thought like that? My dad knows his dad and…he isn't any Mudblood trash. He is from a very old pureblood family and I've heard quite a bit about them. They are very exact with whom they associate with as my dad knows so well. If I'd gone anywhere else but Slytherin my dad wouldn't have been exactly happy. Merely knowledge that you are sorted into this house is saying only good things about you. Every Slytherin is very cunning and we know that there is nothing like leather. Moreover you surely know that blood is thicker than water. Other houses haven't realized that it is what makes you Slytherin and they are very suspicious of us all."

Severus listened to Lucius' tirade and couldn't find any cracks in his explanation. He couldn't do anything but agree with his opinion and nod slowly afterwards. He didn't really believe that someone like Antonio would volunteer to be around him. He agreed with Lucius because he didn't want him to know his personal opinion. He was honestly hoping to change that topic now.

As they left the great hall Severus excused himself with the made up story that he wanted to check on something for tomorrows lessons. Lucius guessed that it was not the truth but let him go as he wanted to write his letter to his grandpa. As Lucius went to the Slytherin's lounge Severus headed outside once again. He met someone along the way to the lake.

He was just about to head across the lawn when he heard some snickering behind him. He turned around and there were three boys. He was already a bit irritated and he wanted to avoid seeing these idiots but he just didn't have any luck. As soon as they noticed him Potter raise his eyebrows and gave a crooked smile before getting nearer the other boy. Black took the new reaction a made a mocking horrified expression and even stammered his comment.

"Awww, that's you. I'm so scared of you now big boy! Maybe I should start avoiding a muggle fighter like you from now on…or not."

Severus was already irritated and just glared at the jeering idiots and tried to forget what they said and walk away. Well he almost succeeded but a couple of boys disagreed with that plan. Black stuck his leg in the way and tripped Severus. Severus fell to the ground. He tried to get up but he failed badly as a couple of the boys were blocking he way. His first wish was just to get away but they seemed to like where he was. He was already tired of keeping up his façade but once again destiny was putting obstacles in his path. Potter started his project to annoy him and to get him riled up. It was boring picking on someone who hardly reacted.

"There you are so helplessly! Can't you even stand up to meet me as man?" That gave Severus the willpower to try to get up again but he didn't manage it. He got knocked back down onto the ground again as soon as he was half wayf up.

"Pitiful try! Aren't your muggle fight skills any help now? Can't draw my buddy's blood from there!" Severus thought that 'was he a wizard or what' and finally took his wand out of his pocket. He heard Black about to cast disarm spell but as he knew the spell now he could repel the it. Just then the door opened a few meters away and the boys walked away from him as the person coming out was the large keeper of the keys heading to his little cottage. As he passed Severus who was still on the ground he stopped for a moment to asked in a booming voice.

"What happened to you boy! Why are you down there looking so grim." Severus staggered to his feet and snarled his answer.

"I just fell down sir." Hagrid looked at Severus suspiciously but finally just shook his head and nodded. He knew the two other boys had moved away a bit too quickly for it not to look suspicious but it seemed there was nothing he could do about it without the other boy admitting what happened, after all he wasn't really a teacher. As soon as Hagrid continued making his way to his cottage Severus looked up and with a short glance he saw that the idiots had took the time to get away, what losers Severus thougth. As soon as he got nearer to his place at the lake; he let his façade to crumble. It was a few days since he had last had a chance to be totally alone.

He totally hated being forced to act relaxed when he was feeling anything but. That not only gave him a headache but also made him irritated. And Antonio wasn't someone he could be comfortable with. The reason was that he was from a totally different class and they were usually only giving him trouble. He had managed so far keeping everyone believing that he was not so shy but if he'd ever show Antonio the true him there might be a totally different reaction. He had been able to keep it up somehow with Antonio but earlier today it was totally different. He thought about his actions this morning when the group of students came up to Lucius and him. He had simply lost his nerves and tried to stay out of the way. Usually when there were other kid group near him before Hogwarts it was never a good occurrence. The least he would get was some small mocking or they could get bolder and did something more. Needless to say he just couldn't except anything else any longer… 'What ifs' were always whirling in his mind when there were any kid groups around. So better to be safe than sorry. He just couldn't help the cautious feelings if there were some kid-group around. Not to mention those damned marauders… they were the pain in the ass. They tried to make him feel so powerless but he would never give up and show how defenseless he actually felt. Knowledge is a very dangerous weapon and in wrong hands. He couldn't help but compare those idiots to the ones that tormented him in Muggle School. That thought brought about some more unwanted thoughts and he was stuck in his mind storm.

Severus had been sniffling there for an hour or so when he subconsciously started to search for his knife. His mind was still elsewhere when he found what he was looking for but hands knew what to do without his mind's help. The only differently was that now that he wasn't concentrating on what he was doing he didn't know exactly how deep the gash were. It took him some time to pull away from his thoughts and when he looked at his hand he gulped.

He certainly hadn't meant to cut that deep. His hand was bleeding freely and even fairly rapidly at that. He cursed his thoughtlessness and just stared at the bleeding arm as his mind was trying to decide if let it bleed or not….

To be continued!

Hahahahaahaha! I'm evil am not I? Maybe slight gliffhanger might give you all a push to you to give a review! I was playing with a thought of writing more but then I realized that I haven't done any good cliffhanger in this story as far as I can remember! So about time!

Very big thanks to my readers but especially ones that dared to review me! You know I won't bite you if you give your review(well quite opposite actually)! Ones reviewing will win a two hours long detention with Professor Snape: ) If especially long reviw then I might provide even a long lecture of how dangerous potion making can be!(I do hope I got potion making part ok… I don't know if I would be able to write total process but I didn't dare to try, might get over my skills already! I guess I'll never be skilled potion master then: )

Lets give a few review answers here… I hope won't disapprove of me giving them but I really do want to give them even shortly. Kendra: ))))))) happy to see you still around! Glad you enjoy this story! I hope you aren't mad about little cliffhanger I gave… Think if I would really dare to do it or not? And Aloha; Welcome to read here where place is actually working! I'm happy to have you sticking to my story! I do hope you enjoyed also this chapter. Lastly Athena… I don't thin she is even reading this but she did add part of personal disgussion as a review! I'm a bit mad at decision to answer in review instead of private messages where we were speaking… It shouldn't' have been public disgussion! Not any idea of privacy with her!

Lastly but not any way least – DO REVIEW!