Here I am again, nice to see you there again! Ahh, I admit, I don't own any of it, if I did, Harry Potter books might be pretty short books as they clearly aren't! Go ahead and read, its been so long when I was last posting my last chapter. And Denise, Thanks a lot for you wonderful job over my fic! I did wonder if I got problems for site's requent problems and that might be reason that I'm not getting even one review so I thougth to post it again.
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Severus woke up to realize that he was being carried by Nichols. His breath caught in his throat; Severus wasn't comfortable with a thought of anyone carrying him. Moreover, the idea of what Nichols now knew was terrifying him greatly.
As they neared the hospital wing, Severus realized that nobody had had a chance to see his hands yet, but too soon they would! They'd think he was suicidal but really he wasn't! What if his dad got to hear about it…. Any adult around him would tell his father about his scars if they ever saw them.
He tried instinctively to get off from His teacher, but they were already at the ward and luckily he only managed to land on the bed instead of the floor. Then Joe called that interfering tigress to them. Severus was fairly irritated and he sent his 'death glare' to Joe, but knowing that he had no real chances of stopping him, Severus just sighed and started to look at the ceiling.
Nobody said a word until Madam Pomfrey bustled into the room.
Severus just looked away from both of the adults as Nichols told as much as he knew to the frowning nurse. Severus was tempted just to dash away, but against his wishes, he just stayed and prepared to keep his ground no matter what either of the adults would try. Mentally, he was as ready as he could possibly be.
As he saw couple of the adult stop speaking to each other, he swallowed nervously and looked at the tigress warily as she furiously got nearer him. Too soon he was under of inspection.
The whole ordeal was annoying. Tigress muttered some Latin litany as she moved her wand over his body. Severus saw his body glimmering at a few places, unfortunately his back and hands were among these places. That caused the tigress to demand to see his upper body and he froze for a second. However, Severus forced himself to relax, as it really would make her suspicious if he was to panic at the thought of an examination. Maybe he would explain something… he would figure something out.
Hands shaking, he started to remove his clothes, dreading the moment they would see his hands. He really hoped that his back was healed by now. Severus stretched his muscles as he took the final shirt off. He prayed furiously that his back was good enough, but his hands were altogether a different matter. He was nervous when his back came into sight. By the look of the adults around him , his back had healed more than he had expected. Then, he looked down shamefully at his hands, which he knew certain were still scarred, only to realize that they were clear with not even one scratch.
Severus suppressed a surprised yelp, and looked up, challenging both adults to complain. His brain was already thinking about where his scars might have gone. There was no way that they'd have disappeared in a day. Well, now he had a chance to avoid the unnecessary explanation , as the scars were absent at least. There would have been hell to pay if they didn't… Severus made a mental note to find out what on the earth had happened to the scars later.
Curiously, his new injuries were still there. He just shook his head and allowed the meddling mediwitch to clean up his injuries. It hurt as a hell as she put some ointment on his broken nose but he withstood it without even flinching. Honestly, he was a bit too used to that kind of pain to actually be affected by it. Severus just took the rest of the potions she gave him meekly before falling asleep.
- XXX -
Nichols was shocked to find Severus laying on the ground in the dungeons when he had been heading for his class.
He had firs t helped the poor boy up sitting by the wall. Then, Nichols noticed that the boy was scratched in quite a few places, and that his nose was bleeding quite madly. In addition, the worst was that he saw the marks on his forehead that clearly showed that Severus had hit his head.
However, he still wanted to know what had happened in the first place. This wasn't really the first time he had found Severus involved in some kind of incident, even during the short time that boy had been here. Just a bit over week, and he had already counted three times when there had been something odd going on with the boy. The boy seemed to be somewhat withdrawn or maybe he was just so shy. Whatever it was he had a feeling there was something he didn't know.
It wouldn't really be a first time that one of his Slytherins had had a problem. He had seen countless children that had been at homed children along his career, and Severus wasn't really acting like that either; he respected adults way too much for that. No, it was the students the boy was careful with. He just hoped it wasn't because of any from anybody..
However, that could not be his primary concern just now; there was still a half conscious boy in front of him. Nichols tried to keep Severus awake and to see if his suspicion would be confirmed. He asked Severus if someone else had done this to him.
He saw Severus' instant alarm at the question and was actually surprised by the student's negative answer after that reaction…… or maybe not so surprised after all. Too many times he had come across this reaction with his Slytherins when they tried to keep something secret.
Nichols tried asking others around them, but only answer he got was a silence. However, he did see a few Gryffindors trying to hide their triumphant smirks. Irritated, he ordered everyone to enter the classroom and wait for him; He would ask the students again once he had gotten Severus to proper care.
But now he had to get Severus to Poppy's care and preferably while he was still consciousl. He tried to speak to the boy again as he picked him up, but it was in vain, as Severus had fainted.
- XXX -
After he had left the hospital wing, Nichols was finally free to think the whole thing over. He was even surer now that Severus wasn't telling him everything, as the student had been too nervous when showing his upper body, as if there should have been something to be worried about. Also Severus appeared a bit too confused after having done so. It was also weird that Severus hadn't even done so much a grimace when Poppy had taken care of his nose, which Nichols knew must have hurt like hell.
Nichols couldn't really tell if he was being over-reactive, but he knew that something was off. He hated having this feeling and he intended to figure out the matter soon; he just couldn't shake the feeling off.
-XXX-
Returning to his classroom, Nichols waited for a second before going in, just to listen what his students were doing when he wasn't there. He cast an eavesdropping charm to check what was going on in his classroom while he was away. As soon as he cast the spell he heard some students fighting in the classroom.
Being already irritated, Nichols slammed the door open and glared down at delinquents. Lucius and Potter appeared about to cast something on each another.
"A Detention for the both of you! Now just go ahead and read to the third chapter of the book before we can begin to brew that potion."
The students then did what they were told. Expectedly, Lucius seemed disapproving, and Potter openly angry, but Nichols simply acted as if he didn't notice; he just wasn't in the mood to deal with the brats. He still had to figure out if there was any reason to act on his suspicions about Severus, but he had to wait for Severus to wake up before he could do so. Sighing, he got on with the class.
-XXX-
Severus woke up slowly, and at first he almost imagined that he was in his own bed. After a second, he realized then that it couldn't be true, and his eyes flew open to see only white… Groaning, he realized that he was in the Hospital Wing.
The tigress had apparently heard his groaning, as she was at his side in a few seconds and already checking him over. As astonishing as it was, his arms were still totally healed and he could only be happy about it, whatever the reason. However, the tigress was frowning at something and too soon she asked him about his back.
"I slept in a bad position and it was feeling like that since then," he made up instinctively, and she seemed to believe him, as she nodded approvingly. He was thinking that it had been too easy to fool everyone, and he wondered if that could really be that easy. But, he really was a master at fooling people, so he wasn't too worried.
Severus looked at the tigress as she complained how he should have come there much earlier that he would have got his back better straight away.
Severus stayed silent for a moment, which he hoped she took as embarrassment for making such a mistake. However, the real reason was completely different. He thought what would have happened if he really had gone to Pomfrey earlier with his bruises, and that was enough to leave him wordless. Severus just thanked gods that he had already healed most of his back. Unfortunately, he didn't have anything to take for remaining pains, but they really hadn't been that severe. As the tigress demanded him to turn around on his stomach, Severus did so very meekly, cherishing his good luck with keeping his secret so far.
At the moment Pomfrey left, Severus' toughness and will dissolved. He slumbered on the bed and stared at the wall, all without ever really seeing it. It had been such a close call. He couldn't afford for any adult to know his secrets, as they would undoubtedly be spread once they knew. He would have to be more careful in the future.
Yes, he had felt the leg trip him up, and he had had a small flash of Potter before he had fallen. No, he wouldn't admit that to Nichols, though Nichols surely would like to know. If Severus did that, Black and Potter would just find different ways to pick on him. He knew that from experience, and he was not about to repeat that experience. Better just keep their interacting that way. If he'd try a bit they wouldn't get a chance.
Then, Severus heard the door open, and saw Lucius hesitantly come in. He groaned silently, and looked at Lucius' approaching form without even raising his head. He gazed at Lucius tiredly as his friend sat down.
Lucius had tried to visit Severus before, but Severus had been deeply asleep at the time he had gotten there. Now, that he was back, Lucius found a very tired-looking, but still awake, Severus.
He saw his friend smiling weakly as he greeted him. Lucius told Severus about the homework they had received, and for a moment they were speaking about mundane things, before Lucius got courage to ask.
"I just needed to know… was it them?" At the sight of Severus' lowered eyes, he knew that was the case. "I'll show them…" Lucius began.
He was stopped by the shocked look on Severus' face at his statement.
"You mustn't do anything! Things are hard enough as they are now, and you would just make it way worse! Trust me; I know what I'm speaking about! Besides, I'll take care that it won't happen again. Just don't do anything… or tell anyone!" Severus said the last part in a pleading tone and Lucius could not do anything but lower his head onto his palms and sigh. Why was Severus so stubborn about everything connected with that topic?
Resigning Lucius replied, "Fine, but let me help you! Could you just tell me how I can help you?"
Lucius received a far different answer than he would have thought. Severus just gaped at him, his mouth open as if Lucius had told him something incredibly ridiculous. He wondered why on the earth Severus would be was so astonished of someone helping him, unless… he didn't believe that anyone would really do that for him.
Lucius just shook his head at the thought, and kept on trying to persuade his friend. "I'm serious; you cannot just tell me that you don't need help, as I'd disagree with that anyhow. So, how can I help you?"
Severus just opened and closed his mouth. For moment, nobody said a word.
After a long silence, in which Severus was gaping like a fish, Lucius looked expectantly and patiently at his friend.
Finally, Severus answered hesitantly, "Could … can we speak about this tomorrow? Just not in this room, ok? I promise I'll tell then… something."
After telling Lucius that in a pleading tone, Severus fell back to the bed and did a mock yawn. It wasn't all that hard to do as he was really feeling a bit weary after all. That did a trick and soon his friend left the room. Now that he was finally alone, panic was trying to take over, but the knowledge that he was still in a public place gave him the power to hold it back and remain outwardly calm.
Severus certainly wasn't ready for what Lucius had offered, and he had no idea what on the earth he would tell Lucius. He did what he most often did, and pushed the though to the side. He really hoped he would be able to come up with a sufficient answer;. preferably something that didn't tell too much. Severus just couldn't speak about it openly, if he wanted to keep his sanity. He really didn't need anyone to insist on helping him every day, and Severus felt as if he'd break if he started to speak too much about it.
Merlin's Sake, he just wanted to be like any student without any idiots around him! Unfortunately, Severus had learnt that the other fellow kids weren't smart enough to realize that their actions were actually causing some damage. He had done a lot thinking over this, and had realized that it was the truth; they just didn't realize it, and he just couldn't walk up to them and say that he was being harmed by their treatment. That wouldn't be enough to make them change. Actually, it would cause quite the opposite, as they would only laugh at him. The other students just couldn't realize what it's like to be him, as they had all had a privileged life.
It took awhile, but finally Severus fell asleep. His dreams weren't really that happy but that was nothing new.
- XXX -
Lucius was back in the dorm again, sitting by the fire. He was staring into the flames, but he wasn't really seeing them, as his thoughts were somewhere else. He had a really bad urge to go and get a teacher, but memory of Severus' eyes was holding him back.
Severus had been so desperate to keep it all to himself, and Lucius could see that he wasn't even meant to know about it. Except, Lucius wasn't blind. Did Severus really think that teachers had no idea what was going on? Maybe some were unaware, but at least Nichols had some idea of what was going on. Even earlier today, when Nichols had seen Severus down on the ground, his first reaction had been if it had been the result of an intentional act. Nichols surely wasn't as blind as Severus had hoped for. Nichols would have to have been blind as a bat to not notice that something was going on.
At this rate, Severus' secret would not remain so for long, but at least Lucius would not have to be the one to reveal it. Severus would take that quite badly if he ever did so. Sighing, Lucius got up and went to bed, even though he didn't believe that he would get any sleep. Indeed, it took a few hours before he could really fall asleep.
- XXX -
Severus woke up middle of the night, sweating profusely, as Madam Pomfrey rushed into the room to check on her patient. At least it gave Severus a good reason to forget his stupid dream, at least for moment. Severus tried to appear relaxed, so she wouldn't try to offer him a Calming Potion; he certainly didn't need one, as she dared to suggest so stupidly! It was she that so clearly needed the potion with her state of mind. He accidentally said that thought aloud and she didn't take it very well. Well, it turned out to be a good way to get rid of that stupid tigress.
Once was alone again, the shaking came back and Severus tried to push the memories of his dream to where the sun doesn't shine.
Finding he couldn't, he crept toward the bathroom, already beginning to hiccup. He found the furthest corner of the bathroom, and sat down, burying his face to his knees.
A familiar nightmare was haunting his mind once again. All of the people in Hogwarts were circling around him, laughing and pointing at him, including every one of his current pals. It hurt him terribly. Only pride kept him from crying, as everyone as every stared and laughed at him.
Severus sat there, shaking and trying to concentrate on his own breathing. After a while, it began to help, and he was able to push away the memory of the nightmare. He snuck back into his bed, and started to work on some homework for a while. When he started to feel a bit sleepy, he set the homework aside and after a while, sleep claimed him.
The next morning Severus woke up to way too familiar sound of the tigress whistling some song. This seriously wasn't his favourite way of waking up. Angrily, he took the potions that tigress had given to him. He actually knew one of the potions vaguely and he wanted to check it out. After she had left, Severus picked up his Potions book to look for it. There it was
the Concussius Unction potion. Sadly he remembered the times his mom had to use it when… again, the memories took over.
Severus never noticed his father being drunken and angry that often before his mother died. Then, it had only occurred rarely, and his mother had born the brunt of it. He had realized afterward that his mother had kept him away of his father's moods, but even listening to them wasn't that nice either. Severus would have liked to intervene in their fights, but his mother had always made certain that he'd been locked in his room during the worst, just for his own safety.
Afterwards, she'd always let him out of his room, but he was always shocked at her appearance. He could see the marks again on her face and well hidden tears. Wordlessly, Severus would bring her the Concussius Unction for her to use, as he knew she would have need it.
Luckily, that hadn't been too often, and dad was fine as long as he wasn't drinking. Well at least until his mother died, then everything changed.
Severus snapped out of his reverie when he heard the door to the Hospital wing open, revealing Nichols. Suddenly, Severus' Potions text was the most interesting thing in the world…
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Yahoooo, now here! Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee review everyone of you! I'd be happy even if you told me that you read it, though I'd welcome a few more words so well : ) Do tell if its better betaread as before? It might be as it certainly should be now… but do tell me! My new betareader was as nice as she even shows me some things that I'm making wrong, not just give a correct version. I do admit it takes a bit a bit more job to check chapter through that way but its worth of the effort! Do review!