I own nothing but the plot.

Important: Italics are Hermione. Bold is Draco. Italicized/Bold is both. Enjoy.

3 years went by until that day. Slow, grueling years as I tried to move on.

3 years that I forced myself to stay away. Bound and determined to never look back

3 years of being completely alone, surrounded by people.

I told myself I never wanted him back. I told myself I'd never care again. I told myself of all the things I'd say to him, all the things I'd do to him, all the ways I'd be and all the little things I'd do if I ever looked at him again. If he ever came back from that black hole he disappeared into. I told myself I'd tell him to go away. That I'd turn and run. That I'd never find myself here, in his arms, so soft and quiet and comfortable...

I told myself I never wanted to return. She was weak, and she was sensitive, and I didn't want to prey on that anymore. I hated the weaknesses I saw in myself even in protecting her from me. I wanted to be away. I wanted to go forever. I told myself I'd never stoop to that level again. That I'd never look into those pathetic, sweet, absolutely wretched eyes and find myself so lost in them like I did every time she looked at me. I told myself I'd never wrap my arms around her weak, frail body and protect her from the world and let that weakening and absolutely tempting and yet altogether amazing scent surround me all over again...

I told myself I didn't want to be here.

If you had asked me yesterday, I'd tell you I didn't want to be here. I'd tell you all those things I would've done to him. I'd tell you how strong I would be this time. I'd tell you how much my mother never liked him, and how much I never wished to do that to her again. I'd tell you how cruel and just how evil he was, and I'd tell you I wanted no part of that again. I'd even tell you I was glad he was out of my life.

If you had asked me yesterday, I'd have spoken of her as the weakling I believed her to be. I'd have discussed that frail demeanor and that sickeningly sweet and absolutely naive view on life. I'd tell you how much that grated on my every nerve. I'd tell you of her dirty bloodline and how sick it made me every time I considered it. How I would've rather died than let my father know I was associated with the likes of that. I'd tell you just how relieved I was to be gone.

I wouldn't have told you the truth.

I wouldn't have told you I dreamed about him. I wouldn't have told you of just how many times I scanned the sky for the slightest glimpse of his owl. I wouldn't have told you of just how many times my heart jumped at the sound of his name, or how many times I found myself in any sort of conversation involving him, just to get the chance to remember he was real. I wouldn't have told you that all of those pathetic men I've dated in the past 3 years meant nothing to me, nothing compared to him. I wouldn't have told you I still loved him.

I wouldn't have told you I dreamed about her. I wouldn't have told you of the amounts of times I picked up that quill and threw it across the room in absolute frustration. I wouldn't have told you of just how many times my thoughts drifted to her. How many times I thought I saw that bushy, annoying natural hair from across a room. I certainly wouldn't have told you how much that pathetic organ in my chest skipped a beat at the thought. I wouldn't have told you that each of those pureblooded sluts I shagged since her meant nothing to me, nothing compared to the way she was. I would've died before admitting I still loved her.

I probably still wouldn't tell you.

Yet here I am with him...

Yet here I am with her...

Yet here we are together.

My heart pounding...

That sickening thudding sound...

Our lips forming words completely of their own accord.

Without a thought.

Without my consent.

Even if it makes no sense.

Even if it's just for tonight.

"I love you."

Even though I hate it.

A/N: Hey everyone... Sorry it took so incredibly long to update. I just couldn't for the life of me figure out how I wanted this to go. I think it works, though. Let me know what you think! Thanks!