The Sky Is Awake

II. Eight Thousand Salad Plates

Anna dreamed of snow. It wasn't falling from the sky; it was simply there. White slopes piled across the courtyard, powdering the frozen fountains and giving everything a soft glow. She loved it. And when Anna reached down to gather a snowball, she noticed gleefully that her hands were small like a child's.

She began to roll snow. Someone had started building a snowman nearby so Anna hauled her ball over. Moments later, a pair of gloved hands dropped an oval head onto the pile. Twig arms appeared, followed by a carrot nose and a wide dotted smile. Anna laughed. The snowman was done, just like magic.

The other builder came to her side. Anna looked up, but their face was too high to see. Yet somehow, she knew she trusted this person. She watched as they moved behind the snowman and waved his arms about, speaking in a goofy voice, "Hi, I'm-"

A strong wind swept through, blowing Anna's pigtails into her face. She had to close her eyes. When she opened them again, the snow was gone and she was alone. Only the snowman remained, but even he was beginning to melt.

As his snowy cheeks drooped askew, Anna reached out and called, "Wait! What's your name?"

"… in the hallways, poor child…"

The snowman crumpled into the ground. The wind returned. Shielding her face, Anna turned around. Her eyes widened.

"… my lady?"

The gates were open.

"Princess Anna! Please, get up!"

And up Anna got – but just one leg. Her foot smacked into something soft and fleshy. Someone yelped. Her eyes flew open. "Where's the chocolate – oh! I'm so sorry, Kai! Here, let me – ow!" Her head cracked into hard wood and stars burst out.

Clutching her skull, Anna groaned, "Ooh, who put this door here?"

Gerda's concerned face appeared above her. "You slept by Princess Elsa's room the entire night, my lady. What were you thinking?"

"Well, I probably wasn't. But I… wait, what?"

Anna twisted around – and there it was: the white door against her back. Dazed, she put a hand on its surface. It was cold.

Goodnight, Anna.

Kai stopped nursing his shin and fixed his bow tie. "Your breakfast is waiting for you in the hall, ma'am. Please prepare yourself for the day."

"Great – I'm starving!" Anna made to rise but immediately smacked her head again, this time on the door knob. A blanket slid off her shoulders - so that was what she'd tripped on!

Wait, a blanket?

She picked it up. It smelled of tea leaves and fresh snow.

The door was still at her back. Anna pictured it easing open. She tried to feel Elsa's hands, strained to hear anything her sister might have whispered in the darkness.

I really, really do…

Anna jumped up, startling Kai and Gerda.

She messed up her special knock in her haste. "Elsa," Anna called into the keyhole, clutching her sister's blanket. "Let's eat breakfast together!"

Silence, as usual. But Elsa had to be listening. Anna used to think Elsa heard everything that went on in the castle, because Mama told her quiet people didn't get distracted by their own noise. Then again, she might've said it just to make Anna quieten down. Now Anna would never know.

"Come on, I know you're up – the sky's awake."

Gerda placed her hand on Anna's shoulder but didn't say anything. Just like her father.

An unladylike growl rumbled from Anna's stomach. How could Elsa resist that mouth-watering aroma of Arendelle's best cuisine? Actually, how could her sister resist everything?

"Fine," Anna announced, throwing up her hands. She flopped back down, though not without tripping on her skirt. "If you won't eat with me, I'm eating with you. Gerda, please bring my breakfast here."

"I'm sorry?"

"I'm eating right here."

"I don't think-" Kai began.

"Papa let me eat in the stables with the horses sometimes – and you know, he's the king." Was. Was the king.

"I'm quite sure His Majesty wasn't aware of those instances-"

"Please, Kai? Gerda?" Looking up at the servants who had watched her grow up, Anna felt as small as she had in her dream… only this didn't make her feel warm and safe. Goosebumps shivered on her arms. Anna drew Elsa's blanket around her shoulders. "Please?" she said again. She didn't even know her voice could be so quiet. "Papa… won't find out about it."

The servants looked at each other. It was the same look Anna had caught them sharing when she'd stood between her mother and father for the last time, while the priest made blessings in an old tongue she didn't understand. Elsa probably would've made sense of it… if she'd been there. But that was okay; Anna had been fine on her own. She was always fine.

Kai and Gerda bowed low and left. Anna loved the two of them, but she really wished they wouldn't look at her so pitifully. It wasn't like her ship had capsized-

Her breath caught.

"Oh, no," she whispered, feeling that awful prick in her eyes again. No, no, no. She'd had enough of that last night.

If you cry too much, Elsa had once whispered when they were little, your tears will create a big monster that will eat all the chocolate in Arendelle.

Anna's laugh came out as a hitched hiccup. Did Elsa even like chocolate anymore?

Anna wiped her eyes on the blanket, and then remembered it wasn't hers. "Do you mind if I hold onto this for a bit longer?" she asked the white door. "It's kind of cold out here. Oh gosh, I hope you don't catch a cold because of me! It's terrible being sick. You can't go outside and there's so much nice food you can't have. Every time I'm sick Mama always-"

Anna stopped. There was no sound from Elsa's room. Anna drew her knees to her chest. She wasn't hungry anymore, which was strange because she felt particularly empty right now, and it wasn't just her stomach.

Gerda had to be on her way back with her breakfast. Anna pictured her meal just sitting there on the long dining table; and then suddenly it was her sitting at the table, picking at her greens and making conversation to all the vacant chairs around her.

"Oh," Anna said softly. Because that was how it would be from now on, wouldn't it?

Her eyes stung so badly. She tilted her head back, blinking fast, keeping it all in. I'm okay. Totally fine. Elsa eats by herself all the time.

But she was still glowering up at the ceiling when Gerda returned with a tray, eyes red and wet. "I'm protecting Arendelle's chocolate," Anna said fiercely. Gerda hesitated before smiling and leaving her alone. But Anna wasn't so sure she wanted to be alone. She didn't want to get used to it.

So she kept talking as her fork chased blueberries around the plate, pretending she and Elsa were only separated by a table and not a door. "Did you know I dreamed that we were building a snowman? Well, you did most of the building. I put his nose in. We even gave him a name but…" But the wind had blown and the gates had opened, and she'd never thought that freedom could also demand loneliness. "A-Anyway, it was a good dream."

A blueberry shot off the plate. Anna pretended not to see it. "I used to think you snuck out at night to play by yourself. I'd camp out here and try to catch you out. Only I'd, um, fall asleep. Papa always knew. I don't know how; I mean, it's not like I snore or anything. Then he'd carry me back to bed. One day I told him he didn't have to walk all the way to my room; I could just sleep in Elsa's bed. He patted my head and didn't say anything. He does… did… that a lot…"

I'm okay. I'm always okay. Have courage.

She put the fork down and wound her fingers together.

"Elsa? Can you talk to me? Please? It's… it's so quiet."

She waited, but the quiet stayed.

Maybe she'd imagined her sister's voice last night. Maybe Joan and the other paintings had to be enough.

Anna got to her feet. It was bright outside. She was almost round the corner before she realised she still had Elsa's blanket. She had been clinging to it the entire time. Maybe because it smelled like childhood; of burrowing into Elsa's bed for a story, or a bad dream, or waking her sister to make snowmen. Anna had spent years keeping those memories in her now too-big, too-quiet room… which she was trudging back to now, while the person she'd made those memories with stayed locked in an equally too-big, too-quiet room.

"Darn it, Anna," she groaned. "What are you doing?"

Back in front of the white door, Anna took a deep breath and drew the blanket tighter. She raised her hand to knock and-

And footsteps. Muffled and hurried. Anna's eyes widened.

"Anna… wait!"

The white door burst open.