The Sky Is Awake
III. Love Is An Open Door
The king climbed awkwardly onto the ladder, hitching a portrait of himself under one arm. Elsa was terrified for him to say the least, even though he'd assured her he was in no more danger than he was in her presence… which she wasn't so sure about. Her… powers had only gotten worse in the four years since she'd isolated herself behind this white door.
Elsa dreaded the day her gloves wouldn't be enough.
"Every heir to Arendelle's throne had their predecessor's portrait in their room," the king informed her over his shoulder, as he raised the hammer. Elsa flinched and begged her father to mind his fingers. "They watch over and advise us. They remind us not to make the same mistakes they – argh!" Her father clutched his thumb.
Elsa couldn't bear to look.
"I suppose that is my first lesson to you: monarchs are terrible carpenters. Learn it well, Elsa; it is a most… painful experience."
Elsa peeked through her gloves. She had known that already, but her father was just like Anna sometimes. Just sometimes, but it was there.
Waving his hand gingerly, her father stepped off the ladder and admired his work. Elsa didn't have it in her to point out that it was crooked.
"Elsa." The king's gaze turned to her. "You're my heir," he told her.
A sheen of frost crept up the painting's gilded frame. They both noticed it. The corner of her father's lips tightened but he didn't take his eyes off hers. Elsa pushed her hands behind her back. "I-I know, Father."
"Does that frighten you?"
"No… of course not."
Her father sighed. "Now I must teach you another lesson: kings and queens must know to see through lies."
The room's temperature fell. Elsa twisted her fingers. "Anna would make a better leader," she blurted.
Her father raised an eyebrow. Somewhere downstairs, they heard Anna's bicycle crash into the poor knight's armour – again.
Elsa rephrased, "I would make an awful leader… I don't know my people or their streets and… I can't be around them. Father, I-"
"Conceal it, don't feel it," the king cut in. His voice was firm. But snow started to fall. His eyes softened. "Don't let it show. Don't you see, Elsa?"
She couldn't look at him. "I do—I'm trying! But I can't stop it; I can't control it."
"No, Elsa." Her father stepped towards her. Elsa inhaled sharply. It felt wrong to be so close to someone she loved so much. "Conceal, don't feel," Papa murmured. "This is what it means to be a king… a queen. Only those who understand that can become worthy rulers."
Elsa stared into her father's solemn expression.
"There is no one better suited to lead this country than you, Elsa of Arendelle."
"But I-"
"One day, you will have to face our people, and Anna. You will learn to control your powers. They are… they can make you strong."
"What if I hurt them?"
"You will be fine. I promise you." Those special words stopped the falling snow. Her Papa's gentle hands took her by the shoulders and turned her to face his portrait; the one he had nailed on her wall with his own, clumsy hands. "Remember, I will be around for much longer to teach you my mistakes. Take your time, Elsa… but not too long."
"Not too long?" she asked.
He smiled. "Anna is waiting."
OoOoO
She hadn't moved in hours. Her room wasn't frozen anymore – just cold in a way that had never bothered her. She'd spent all night watching the ice run down the walls. She was starving.
Anna was still camped outside her door.
She was supposedly eating her breakfast there, though Elsa knew she hadn't touched it. Anna always talked with her mouth full, and the only thing that filled her voice now was forced smiles.
She shouldn't have said anything last night. And the blanket… that had been her worst mistake in all ten years.
Hugging her knees on the windowsill, Elsa's gaze wandered once more to the painting above her dresser. It was the same one the public still mourned over in the village square, only this one hung crooked. Looking at it, Elsa's face crumpled.
"I haven't learned all your mistakes yet, Father."
Outside, Anna was telling her door about a dream. The more Elsa listened, the chillier her room became. It wasn't a dream, Anna. But she couldn't say that aloud. Not with her father watching.
Conceal it, don't feel it.
"Papa always knew," Anna was saying. Elsa turned towards the door just as her sister's animated voice got smaller. "He patted my head and didn't say anything. He does… did… that a lot…"
Elsa closed her eyes. Ice blurred across the windowpanes.
"Elsa?"
Don't let it show.
"Can you talk to me? Please? It's… it's so quiet."
Her breath misted in the chilly air. Any more and Anna would notice the cold. And that could never, never happen.
Elsa heard her sister leave.
One day, you will have to face our people, and Anna.
"I didn't think it would come so soon," Elsa said to her father. But he just kept looking at her without saying anything, just like he always had.
Anna's feet dragged down the hallway. It was a sound Elsa never looked forward to, but she didn't hate it – not the way she hated Anna crying.
She wondered if Anna would cry alone in her room.
Elsa's bare feet tentatively brushed the lacquered floorboards, the chill dancing across her skin. Her dress flowed down from the ledge with a soft swish, and suddenly it was the only sound in the room, in the entire palace.
Would Anna turn around this time?
What if this was the last time?
Biting her lip, Elsa found herself taking slow steps across her room. She'd always known when Anna slept outside her door; after all, Elsa was the one who snuck out, just like Anna thought, to tell their father. But Papa couldn't look out for Anna anymore. He wasn't even watching Elsa.
And deep down, Elsa could still hear Anna sobbing in the dark.
Her lips parted, took in a shallow breath. But nothing came out. She didn't know what to say. Her hand trembled on the door handle. It hadn't frozen, not yet, but it would. It always did.
Anna is waiting.
Elsa squeezed her eyes shut.
"Anna… wait!"
She opened the door – and there stood Anna, her hand raised to knock.
Elsa's eyes widened. Anna's mouth hung open.
Then Anna lost her balance.
Elsa reached out to catch her without thinking, but Anna slipped on her untouched breakfast tray and flipped heels over head with a "Ho-ho-whooaaa!" Blueberries and cereal spattered the walls, followed by the clang of silverware and the all-too-familiar crash of… Anna.
Elsa winced.
Her sister lay sprawled in a royally inappropriate heap, drenched in milk. "Hi, ground," Anna moaned as she sat up. "I can't say I missed you. Ow, ow, there goes my hopefully unimportant organ…"
"A-Are you okay?"
"Who, me? Oh, yeah! Yeah, I'm fine – peachy, really. I mean, it's not like I didn't do the same thing last week with-" Anna stopped. There was jam in her hair and bewilderment in her eyes. Then she blinked. "Oh my goodness. El-"
Elsa slammed the door shut.
Conceal, don't feel, conceal, don't feel – but Elsa didn't know what she was feeling right now, because surely it couldn't be nothing. Her mind was blank, her breathing hard as if she'd run.
She heard Anna picking herself off the ground, slipping and sliding. "Well, um… good morning to you, too?"
Good morning. How have you been? You have no idea how much I miss you. "Go aw-" Elsa clapped her hands to her mouth.
"Sorry about the mess. I'll clean up right now– ah! … Ow. Okay, maybe I'll get Gerda. I'll be right back – just, uh, don't come out? Wait, what?"
Elsa looked down at the door handle, and exhaled.
"I don't mean don't come out; it's just that you shouldn't… no, wait. Ugh, I'm making this so awkward…"
"Olaf," Elsa said softly.
Anna went quiet for a long moment. "Elsa?" she asked uncertainly. "Did you… did you say something?"
The door opened again, just a crack. A cool breeze trickled into the hallway. Elsa kept herself pressed to the wall, out of sight, and took in a deep breath. "The snowman that we made. His name was Olaf."
Anna's damp skirt fluttered by the small opening. Elsa tightened her grip on the handle but Anna didn't force her way in. She didn't even try to peek inside.
Instead, Elsa felt her sister lean back on the other side of the wall. "Olaf…? That's right – Olaf! How could I forget? We even took him ice-skating with us. I loved Olaf!"
Elsa nodded to no one and realised she was smiling.
"I didn't expect you to remember things like this," Anna admitted. "I thought you'd only remember… I don't know – the Honorary Code, or something stiff like Arendelle's trade agreements" – Elsa blinked and looked over at her desk, where a bound copy of precisely the latter lay bookmarked – "which I'm not saying is a bad thing because, well, my tutors would start crying if I knew that stuff. It's just… you know." Anna paused to breathe, and possibly to think. Then she started from the beginning. "It's good to see you again, Elsa."
Elsa glanced down at her gloves. "It's good to see you, too." She was surprised how smoothly it came out. Perhaps she had finally learned to conceal like their father. She glanced down at the sliver of light across the floor, searching. "Your hair has grown," she offered.
"Has it? So has yours. I think. This is so embarrassing. We haven't seen each other's faces in months and I just have to be wearing my breakfast."
"You should change into something dry. Before you get sick."
"Trust me, I will." But it didn't sound like Anna was going anywhere.
An uncomfortable silence fell. Anna started to hum, then stopped self-consciously. Something inside Elsa unclenched, just a little.
"Are you alright?"
"Yes, totally. I fall over all the time, which isn't really something to brag about."
"No, I meant, are you alright with– everything."
Finally, Anna understood. "Oh. I-I guess I'm holding up okay. What about you?"
Kings and queens must know to see through lies.
"Anna, I am so sorry. For leaving you to attend the… ceremony on your own. It must have been hard for you."
"What? No, don't apologise. It didn't bother me. Everyone was really nice." Anna was silent for a while. Then she let out a sigh. "Are you sure we can't eat together? Because I'd really, really like that."
There it was. "I can't, Anna."
"Why not? You came to dinner sometimes."
"That was because Father and Mother were there."
Too late, Elsa heard herself. Her hands shot to her mouth as she pressed herself to the wall, eyes filling up.
Anna's faltering reply come out thick with hurt. "So it is my fault? That you don't leave your room or see anyone anymore?"
"Please, Anna, it's not like that."
"Then why? It's just a meal."
A burst of icicles erupted near the chandelier. "I just– can't. It's for your own good, I promise-"
"Elsa, there are fifty-eight seats at the dinner table – yes, I counted. And there's only one of me. How is that good for me? For anyone?"
It wasn't. Elsa, of all people, knew that best. But she couldn't be around Anna, or anyone, while her powers were like this. It could happen again, and their father wouldn't be around to fix it.
She couldn't risk it.
Then Anna announced, "Fine. I guess I'll just have to eat here from now on."
Elsa's head came up. She didn't believe it enough to find her voice, not even to be horrified.
"We're going to be okay, Elsa." There wasn't any doubt in Anna's voice, even though Elsa heard tears on the verge of it all. "We're going to be okay," Anna repeated stubbornly.
You'll be fine, Elsa.
The door fell shut beneath Elsa's hand. She heard Anna leave, this time squelching down the stairs. Slowly, Elsa made her way back to the windowsill.
Her feet splashed into cold water.
Elsa looked around her room, and realised the floor was wet with thawed ice.
A/N: I didn't think it would take three chapters to get up to this point but I sure enjoyed writing them. I hope you guys are enjoying the read and stay on for the rest of the ride. See you next chapter!