The Sky Is Awake

XVIII. It Doesn't Have To Be A Snowman

The office had three bookshelves, a decade's worth of finance archives, and not a single book with pictures. Maps didn't count. Anna would have sighed, if Elsa didn't beat her to it.

"Winter crops," her sister exhaled, tapping a pen against the back of her hand. Elsa shook her head, and Anna knew what would come next: cross-referencing one of the thick tomes spread across the desk, followed by a lot of crossing out and, finally, a fresh start on a new sheaf of parchment.

"That's eight," Anna called out.

Even from where she was lying on the couch, she saw Elsa jump. Oops.

"You've sighed eight times in ten minutes." Anna did her best impression of an Elsa sigh; soft and short, like a small bird taking flight. "You're going to get wrinkles."

Elsa looked in her direction for a moment, and then drew a neat line across her paper. "You will, too," she replied shortly.

"Excuse you. I sigh in moderation, thank you very much!"

There was a smile in Elsa's voice. "You'll have laugh lines."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No, I don't think so. I like your laugh."

"You do?"

Elsa was suddenly very absorbed in her book.

Anna grinned. "Elsaaaaa."

"I'm reading."

"You like my laugh!"

Elsa idly turned the page. Anna bounced up off the couch and leaned over the table, trying to put her face in her sister's, and as Elsa finally glanced up, lips twitching, Anna laughed.

It was boring in the office, and quiet without Olaf, but there were little things everywhere. Like when Elsa started getting comfortable enough to forget that Anna was in the room, too, and how sometimes she'd remember, look up, and tell Anna she liked her laugh.

Now, as Elsa returned a small smile, Anna touched her forehead to her sister's. She felt Elsa start, like she always did. But she stayed there, warm and constant, and that was another little thing for Anna to put away, to save for a rainy day.

"Hey, Elsa?"

"Yes?"

"Are you finished with the winter crops? Whatever it is you're trying to do with them—plant them?"

"I'm not qualified for that task. And not quite, no." Elsa paused. "Are you bored?"

This was her moment. Time to drag her sighing sister into the sunshine.

Then—of course—they were interrupted by a knock on the doors.

Elsa's gaze went over Anna's shoulder and the relaxed slump in her posture straightened almost automatically. This was another thing Anna had learned about her sister: Elsa was very good at knowing who was behind the door. Judging by her reaction, it wasn't Kai or Gerda.

Anna reluctantly picking up her mug of hot cocoa, and moved aside as Elsa called, "Come in."

A uniformed man in a navy winter jacket strode into the room. His greying hair looked like frost.

"Minister Belland," Elsa greeted.

Anna was smug, because that's who she'd thought he was. She loved guessing new people—in fact, she just loved new people in general. Not that any minister was new to her, after all those times she'd seen them file out of this same office, waiting for Papa to be free. Papa never let her inside.

But Elsa did.

"Your Highness." The minister bowed. "Princess Anna."

Anna looked up to find Minister Belland looking straight at her. She realised she was still grinning at nothing. She'd never quite figured out how to talk to government officials—most of them didn't seem to like talking at all—so she just directed her smile at him and gave a friendly wave.

Minister Belland returned a slight nod, but didn't look away as he said to Elsa, "I've brought the report from the last agricultural board meeting, as Your Highness has requested. Is there anything specific that I may summarise for you?"

Anna expected Elsa to shake her head and offer to read it in her own time, which was what Papa had always done. So she did a double take when Elsa spoke up. "As a matter of fact…"

It turned out Elsa had a lot of questions to ask. Anna tried her best to follow the volley of knowledge flying over her head, but that was exactly where it all went—over her head. She sipped her hot cocoa, thinking that Papa would definitely have let Elsa into his meetings. She hoped Olaf was having a nice chat with Joan in the portrait room. Maybe she could drag Elsa out later and introduce her to everyone, and maybe, maybe, maybe, Elsa might cave and do a little magic—

"Princess Anna?"

Anna looked up, cheeks puffed with delicious cocoa. Minister Belland was watching her, and she could see Elsa turning in surprise. Anna swallowed. Gah, that's hot. "Um, yes?"

She could just hear Papa telling her to remember the things princesses should and shouldn't do.

Minister Belland said, "I'm quite interested in hearing your thoughts on Arendelle's current affairs."

"Oh. Sure." Anna blinked, casting a curious glance towards Elsa. "How, um, current, are we thinking?"

"Presently, our crops have fared well through the winter. However, there are concerns that may not always be the case. The council is considering expanding agriculture trade between our neighbours."

Anna took all of this in with a slow nod. She had caught Elsa's eye now and broadcasted a million question marks in her sister's direction. Elsa looked just as puzzled, but then her expression shifted into something more familiar. It was the kind of look she used to wear when Papa shot them pop quizzes over the dining table, and if Anna got stumped, really stumped, she'd only have to look at Elsa and her sister would jump in. Most of the time, she had the right answer—this was Elsa they were talking about. But even if it turned out Elsa had no idea what Papa expected, she'd still try.

And Elsa had that look now, gathering herself. Waiting for Anna to ask—just ask.

But see, Anna had already asked a lot of things of Elsa lately.

"Well," she began slowly. "Wouldn't importing food stock—I don't know—take some jobs away from our people?"

"It may," Minister Belland mused. "Or it may not."

Anna almost rolled her eyes. Better not. Papa's portrait might come to life just to glower at her. Maybe that wouldn't be so bad. "Well, no one knows for sure that the seasons will change."

"But if they do, it will be much too late to act accordingly." Minister Belland gave her a meaningful look. "An economy cannot always afford optimism, Princess."

"I know but…" But what? Anna didn't even know what she was saying anymore. Even her tutor hadn't given her situations like these in a long time; he must have thought Anna had stopped trying. After all, Elsa's coronation was just over a year away. Anna realised she really didn't like making big decisions for other people… and then suddenly she was back in the great hall with snow falling from the ceiling and Elsa's wide, fearful eyes staring into hers as she shouted at her sister—

You shut me out for ten years because you made up my own mind for me?

The corner of the desk rammed into her hip as Anna took a step back.

Minister Belland arched his eyebrows.

Anna stared back at him for a moment, then blinked twice, hard. "Sorry, I—I don't know," she said. "Why don't you try asking the citizens what they think? They are—what's the word? Stakeholders. Right?"

Something shifted on Minister Belland's face. He clasped his hands behind him and smiled for the first time, almost kindly, grandfatherly. "Listening to the people is one thing, Your Highness. Denying responsibilities is another."

There was a long pause. Then Anna's mouth popped open. Did he just— "I-I'm not—"

"Minister Belland."

Anna stopped.

It wasn't Elsa's voice that spoke; it was the queen's, and this time it sounded less like their mother's. Anna hadn't heard that voice since Fredrik and the others visited last year—but even then, Elsa's tone was so different this time. The sheer weight of it seemed to change the air in the room.

Anna turned to her sister and found Elsa on her feet, fixing a steady gaze on Minister Belland. It was a look she didn't think Elsa was capable of; something Anna would hate to be on the receiving end of, because God, it was so heavy and disappointed and… angry.

"Thank you for delivering the report to me. I appreciate the time you took to visit just for this purpose."

Just for this purpose. Nothing else. Minister Belland picked that up quicker than Anna did. He inclined his head, looking so stately in his pressed uniform, and for the first time he looked impressed. "And the council appreciates your fortitude, Princess Elsa. It will serve you well, if only you were willing to wield it more…" He glanced at Anna, then back at Elsa and her stony expression. Minister Belland smiled slightly. "… freely."

Anna sucked in a breath—it felt like winter in her lungs. She spun towards Elsa; her sister was staring down at the desk, her shoulders tight, hands out of sight. Minister Belland glanced around the room, as if to check the windows—all of them were closed. And in the short silence, Anna felt like she was watching another volley again, back and forth, but this one was even farther over her head and just—different.

Because this one, she was sure, was about her. And Elsa—

Anna blurted, "Hot cocoa?"

Elsa and Minister Belland turned to her. Anna put on a grin and raised her empty mug. "It's pretty cold today. Alfred—the chef—makes it really nice. Markus—oh, he's the kitchen hand—puts marshmallows, though."

Anna was sure Minister Belland wasn't very good at being surprised, because he spent too long staring at her. "Ah… no. No, thank you, Princess." He cleared his throat. "In fact, I should take my leave now. If I may be excused."

"You may," Elsa said quietly.

Minister Belland left. Just like that, he was gone.

Anna said, "Wow."

Behind her, Elsa let out a shaky breath. She was still hiding her hands, squeezing them, and she didn't seem to be focusing on anything because she had to ask, "Is… is the door closed?"

Anna nodded without checking.

Elsa sat back down in her seat. "Anna, maybe you should—"

"I'm not going anywhere," she cut in. "You can't make me."

For some reason, Elsa winced. "No. I can't." Then she lifted her hands from her lap. "But you can still change your mind."

Her hands were covered in frost. Anna gasped and started forward.

Elsa pulled back.

Anna stopped.

"I'm sorry," Elsa said, swallowing. "I just—I'm not fully in control right now. I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't. Didn't we talk about this? I'm okay, see? Come on."

"I'm trying, Anna. But the curse won't—"

"It's not a curse!" Anna said firmly. "It's just magic."

Elsa gave a weak smile. "'Just magic'?"

Anna threw up her hands. "Not-just magic. Magic. Talents—wait, you've already got too many of those—whatever. You know what I mean! It's not a bad thing, Elsa."

"You say that because you don't remember the bad it can do."

"Gosh, you are such a pessimist!" Elsa opened her mouth indignantly, but Anna wasn't stopping. "I don't have to remember to recognise, right? And I'm pretty sure I know what bad things look like. Me making a fool of myself in front of the minister just then? That was bad."

Elsa looked at her. "He was in no right to challenge you like that."

"He wasn't exactly… okay, maybe he was—but it's okay. Everyone does it. Really, it's not—"

"Everyone?" Elsa broke in. "This happens to you regularly?"

Anna opened and closed her mouth dumbly. Had Elsa interrupted her?

Elsa seemed to realise it, too, because she sank back in her seat with a sigh. "Don't feel it," she murmured to herself. "Don't feel… Control it…"

"Elsa?" Anna moved to her sister's side, crouching by her knee. Up close, Elsa's hands were so pale and cold, and Anna saw that the underside of the desk was sheathed in ice. Ice, not snow. "Are you… angry?"

Elsa exhaled.

Anna cocked her head as something in her mind clicked. "Are you angry… for me?"

Another sigh. Then, closing her eyes, Elsa said, "Of course I am. I'm your big sister, aren't I?"

It was a very simple question, and if they got right down to it, it wasn't really a question at all. Because Anna had grown up holding this person's hand, running to her grinning or in tears, and it didn't matter that her older sister had only been a child, too; she was the only one who had always let Anna be anything she wanted; the knight in their games; the thief; the princess playing ordinary.

It was Elsa.

"Anna?" Elsa's eyes were wide and horrified.

Anna realised her own eyes were filling up. "Oh no," she whispered.

"A-Anna," Elsa said helplessly. "What's wrong?"

And with that, Anna lost it. Because suddenly, the answer was everything.

She blubbered, "I don't like Minister Belland."

"Anna?"

"And I don't like how you have to sit in Papa's seat and—and Papa and Mama aren't here anymore, and… it was lonely standing at their graves by myself. I'm still scared of doors and storms, and when Olaf asks me why the sky is blue and why snow melts, I don't know. Why don't I know anything, Elsa?"

Anna burrowed her face into her sister's lap, hiding, trying to suck everything back in because Elsa didn't need this and she didn't want to be so upset—

But she hadn't wanted a lot of things to happen. They just… had.

"I want," Anna sniffled. "I want to go to the winter festival again, all four of us. Together. The gates will be open and we'll get chocolate strawberries, and Papa will give that awkward birthday speech for us… Can't we just go back? I won't run around and get lost. I'll hold your hand. I'll be a good girl, so... so—"

"Anna," Elsa whispered, and then she was down on the floor, too.

Anna clung to her sister. She felt Elsa raising and dropping her arms, hesitating.

Finally, there was a tiny squeeze. "You're okay, Anna. I've got you."

"Elsa…"

"You're okay," Elsa repeated, rubbing her back. Her voice sounded thick. "You're okay, Anna… I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

Anna sniffed and blinked over Elsa's shoulder. A snowflake fluttered from the ceiling and landed on the tip of her nose. She laughed a little, even though it came out kind of choked. Elsa had said she liked her laugh, after all, and if Anna could choose how to live her life every day, all she would want was to make Elsa smile. She could do something that small, couldn't she?

"Elsa? Don't go away again, will you? Not… not without me."

Anna wasn't sure if it was her tears blurring everything, or if Elsa was crying, too. All she knew was that when Elsa's hand came up behind her neck, easing her forward so their brows touched, her sister's hand was warm. Real.

Elsa said softly, "I think I need you more than you need me, silly."

Anna didn't speak—she couldn't—and pushed her way deeper into Elsa's arms. Minister Belland had taught her there were things you should know, but there was also a lot that you would never understand, and most of the time you just didn't get to choose.

"What are you doing?" Elsa asked, as Anna pressed an ear to her sister's chest.

"Shh. Listening to your heartbeat."

"… Can you really hear it?"

She couldn't. She didn't understand how it worked, either. But she could feel it, and that was all she ever needed to know.

A/N: Isn't it funny how you can give yourself writer's block by thinking too much about one thing, and when you look back you realise you had it right the first go? That's practically how it went for me with, well, this whole story, actually! It's been a great ride and you've all been awesome. Heartbreakingly (is that a word?) we're reaching the end of our road trip. The next chapter will unfortunately be the last one, as we head up to the end of remaking The Three Years In Between. I'll be putting heart, soul and everything into sending this fic off!

Thanks for reading, friends. We're almost there!

8/2/20 note - It's still interesting to me how things come full circle. Six years after writing Prince Gregory and Minister Belland into this fic, they ended up coming back in my post-Frozen 2 fic, The Next Unknown. I had zero idea that would happen!