Why Can't It?

"Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you? Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you? It's inevitable. It's a fact that we're gonna get down to it, so tell me. Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?"- Liz Phair

I woke up the next morning, not sure of what happened the night before. I tried to turn away, but there was someone holding my waist. It was Jacob. At first, I was surprised; I could've sworn he went home. But then everything started coming back to me. I looked down at myself to make sure I was fully clothed, and I was. At least I didn't make a huge mistake.

Jacob began to stir, slightly sitting up and rubbing his eyes. He looked at me and smiled; I looked back up at him and smiled too. He brushed my bangs away from my face and kissed my forehead.

"Good morning sunshine," he chuckled. "How'd you sleep?"
I sighed softly and stretched. "Not bad. My head kinda hurts."
"Yeah, you're a little lightweight," he teased, kissing my head. "Should I go?"
"What time is it?" I yawned.
"Eight thirty," he replied, looking at his phone.
She sighed. "Yeah, probably."
"Okay. Lemme just text my ride. Didn't want your momma to see my car."
I smiled and kissed his chest. "Thanks."
"You're welcome gorgeous." He sighed. "So now that you're sober, why did you ask me to come back last night?"
I shrugged and thought about it. I really didn't know why I called him back. There was something about Jacob that was just so comforting. In my time of doubt and stress, I called on him, and he came without a question.

"Because I needed someone," I replied. "I couldn't be alone."

"I understand." Jacob smiled. "You're gorgeous."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks."

He took my chin in his hand and kissed me softly. "Don't ever think you're not gorgeous."

I reached up to kiss him again. There was something so special about Jacob, but I also knew that I couldn't let myself fall too fast. I had just gotten out of a relationship; I couldn't just find a replacement because I missed being in a relationship. I had to really like Jacob for Jacob.

He pulled away as soon as his phone started ringing. He picked it up quick.

"Hey, Embry," he answered. "Yeah, I'll be down in a minute."

He hung up the phone, threw it on the bed, and started putting on his clothes. I sat up and watched him. His body was so nice, so well sculpted. He was like a god. I didn't know how to handle it.

"Like what you see?" he teased, smirking at me.

I blushed and looked away. He finished getting dressed and then walked over to me to kiss me. We made out for a few minutes before his phone started ringing again.

"Walk me out?" he asked with a half-smile.

I nodded and got up. I threw on a pair of yoga pants and walked over to him. We walked out of my room and to the front door. I opened it and leaned against the frame. I saw Embry's truck sitting right outside.

Jacob grabbed me by the hip and kissed me. "Text me, ok, beautiful?"

I nodded, breathless from the kiss. "Ok."

"Bye."

I watched him walk away and drive away. It almost made me sad to see him go, but I knew I had to keep my composure. I had to stay cool. I couldn't get attached.

I locked the door behind me and walked back up to my room. I went over to my phone and checked it. I had a new text message from Jamie.

"Hey Anna! Wanna get your nails done today?"

I didn't really know if I wanted to go out, but I had nothing better to do, so I replied with a yes. We decided we were going to go around eleven and get some lunch after. It would be fun, and keep my mind off of Jacob. So I took a shower, got dressed, did my hair, and put on my make-up. I felt a lot better than I did before.

It was only a matter of time before Jamie's car was outside my house. She honked a few times, so I grabbed my purse and quickly ran downstairs. She threw open the passenger door and I hoped inside.

"Hey girl!" she greeted. "How are you?"

"Good." I smiled and gave her a hug. "How are you?"

"Pretty good," she replied. "Ready to get my nails done! I haven't gone in so long."

"Yeah me too," I laughed as I put on my seatbelt. "Where are we going?"

"A place in Port Angeles," she replied, turning up the radio. Some song by Arianna Grande started playing that I had heard once or twice before. "The place here in Forks sucks."

I chuckled and looked out the window. I was debating on whether or not to tell Jamie about Jacob. I mean, Jamie was becoming a friend, a really good friend, and I felt like she would be a good person to tell, but, in the same note, I didn't want too many people to know about Jacob.

"I went out on a date with Jacob last night," I blurted out after a few minutes.

"You did?" she squealed. "What did you do?"

"Well, we got dinner and went to a movie," I explained. "Then, after, we got a few beers and a joint and parked up on a cliff on the reservation. It was so beautiful."

"Oh my God, Anna, I'm so happy for you!" she continued. "I knew you liked Jacob."

"Don't tell anyone, though," I told her. "It's not anything big yet."

She gave me a curious smirk. "Yet?"

"You know what I mean," I laughed. "Just please."

"I feel it girl. My lips are sealed." She looked over at me. "So how was it?"

I sighed. "It was nice."

"Well, like, what happened?" she inquired. "Did you kiss?"

I nodded with a smile. "Yeah."

"Was it good?" she continued. "Is he a good kisser?"

"Yeah he was." I looked out the window. "Really nice."

"I'm glad," she giggled. "Well, you gotta let me know if anything else happens!"

I smiled and shook my head. "I will. You know I will."

"His friends are cute. Maybe we can double date."

"You're ridiculous."

Before she said anything else, we pulled up to the nail salon. It was very upscale, more salon like than anything else. It reminded me a lot of LA, and I really liked it. It was going to be nice to feel like I had a little piece of home.

"You ready?" Jamie asked, opening her door.

I nodded and got out with her, I couldn't help to check my phone, to see if Jacob had texted me, but he didn't, so I sighed, put my phone back into my purse, and ran into the salon with Jamie.

She immediately took charge, ordering what we wanted and helping me pick out colors. It took a lot off my mind, and before I knew it an hour and a half passed, and I hadn't looked at my phone once. Jamie was an interesting girl, fun to talk to, and actually very smart. She wasn't the ditzy blonde I had always expected her to be.

"Do you want to get lunch?" Jamie asked as we paid for our nails.

"Sure," I replied. "There some good places out here?"

"I honestly just wanted to get some Chipotle," she laughed. "There's one not even a block down."

"Sure." I smiled. "I love Chipotle."

Jamie started walking out, so I grabbed my phone just to check the time, but saw that I had a new message. It was from Jacob.

I decided to wait until after we sat down to eat to text him back. I ran to catch up to Jamie. She was right; it wasn't even more than a few doors down. We got our food, sat down, and began to eat. I pulled out my phone again to read the message.

"I had a lot of fun with you."

I smiled and quickly responded. "Me too."

"Who ya texting?" Jamie teased, grabbing my attention.

I looked up at her shyly. "Jacob."

"You gonna see him again tonight?" she mused, picking at her burrito.

I shrugged. "I don't know."

"You should," she encouraged. "He's a great guy."

"You think so?" I mused.

"Well, I mean, there was something he went through."

I stopped for a minute. "What do you mean?"

She put her burrito down and looked at me. "Well, there was this girl; she graduated last year. She and Jacob had this thing, I guess, but she also had this thing with another senior last year. Things ended bad for Jacob, and he just disappeared. He came back like a month ago."

I sighed loudly. "Wow."

"Yeah, it's intense." She took a sip of her drink. "But he seems completely normal; like exactly the way he was before. That night we went to the bonfire was the first time I had seen him in two months."

"That is intense." I took a bite. "Do you think I should get involved?"

"You do you, Anna," she replied. "I wouldn't let it phase me. Jacob's still the same great guy that I remember he was. Nothing changed; nothing's that different, but you should know, and be prepared."

"Yeah, I should."

"But don't tell him you heard it from me," she laughed. "Let him tell you."

I nodded. "Yeah, that'd probably be best. We're kinda in the same boat in a way."

She looked confused as she tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing." I shook my head and reassured her with a smile. "I kinda don't want to talk about it right now."

She smiled back. "I feel it. For whatever reason you came here, I'm glad you did."

"Thanks, Jamie. That means a lot."

"You're just fun, and smart, and a lot different from the girls around here. It's good to have a friend like you."

"You're a good friend too." I sighed. "And I'm glad I moved here too."

And for once it was true. I never thought I could say I'd be happy living with my recovering-coke-addict mom in a small town that no one had ever heard of surrounded by people I didn't know, but I was. For once in my life, things were running smoothly, and I was so glad. It was exactly the break that I needed.