Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognise. (Check chapter 1, 2 or 3)

"I understand Lily but you should think it over, what if he finds out?" James felt like bursting into the office and ask what he needed or had had the right to know. Maybe that was Sirius had suggested him. There was a secret.

"The only way would be if you or Remus decide to tell him and Professor I beg you no to." Lily pleaded. James almost went ballistic, Remus knew! He was going to kill him.

"I certainly will not, I promised I wouldn't, besides if the time came he should hear it from you" Dumbledore said softly.

"Well I don't think the time will ever come Professor" said Lily sadly.

Chapter 7 – Insincere because I...

I've got a secret I can't explain
And all the time I've waited for this day
All along I was never in doubt
I always knew it would never get out
There are things that I cannot tell
And there are things that you know damn well
This is getting very hard for me
I guess you'd better just wait and see

(Secret-Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark)

James and Lily were sitting in Dumbledore's office listening to Moody's final instructions. Both of them wanted him to finish as soon as humanly possible. James was having so much problems just forcing himself to sit there at all. He needed to talk to Lily, while she couldn't wait for the opportunity to get away from him.

"At the Atlanta airport, two Americans aurors will be waiting for you. With that said, you leave in an hour" Both adults stood up and before they reached the door. Moody spoke again " By the way Dumbledore and I decided it would be best for you Ms. Evans to be transferred to Potter's team. I talked to your dad and we all agreed, the missions will be easier. When you come back, your supervisor and team leader will be notified" Lily's face went blank and James just gulped.

"I assume you two are professionals now and I will not be leading with two 16 year olds'" said Moody knowingly. Both of them knew to what he was referring to. Back in auror camp they had met Moody and he had "worked" with them. Lily had never forgotten how he had lost it with them.

"You're in detention, and you will be in this room until you learn how to work with each other. Aurors depend on their teammates! TEAMWORK!" his voice roared."Something you TWO EGOISTICAL BRATS should learn! The enemy will bring YOU down... and your whole team, if you don't COOPERATE with each other." He ceased the yelling and started in a less agressive tone "That said. Think and reflect Potter and Ms. Evans I will be expecting more sense from you in the future".

"That said you can leave and be careful" warned Moody, both adults nooded bided good bye to both men and descended the stairs to find themselves again in the corridors of their orl school. Lily couldn't imagine it all seemed so surreal now. Lily started to walk fast, she couldn't let herself sumerge into such memories.

"Lillian...wait" James called after her. She turned and he stopped, they looked until James spoke again "I...we...need to talk" he stated. Lily knew she could run or jut face him for once and for all and this time, she chose not to run.

"Okay I'm listening" she said crossing her arms and looking at him trying to read what this was about. "I don't believe this corridor is the place, come with me" he said taking her by the hand and leading her to the stairs until they reached the 7th floor. They were going to the unknowable room. Great now she oficially felt like they were seventeen and dating. Hell! Why was he still holding her hand and why was she letting him. They entered the room and it was their old head's common room.

"Please I need to know what is it that I must know"James said in an almost pleading tone. Lily was surprised where had he gotten that idea. She was certainly not expecting this, and she couldn't come up with an answer. James sat in the sofa and sank his head in his hand "Lily I heard you conversation with Dumbledore earlier this afternoon I didn't meant to but...I did. Please what is that, that I must know Lily"

"Is nothing really" Lily choked out, James wasn't making it easy for her. Maybe if he had demanded in a more agressive way, or used other tone but he was practically pleading and begging. He looked so exasperated.

"Nothing, huh?" he said sadly and stood up to reach for her arms.Lily avoided his look because he knew he would read into her, he had always did it. She was so fucking vulnerable and that made stupiddly and annoyingly transparent.

"Lily look at me and tell me it is nothing" James pleaded once again. He had definetely lost control over his emotions and he didn't know why he was feeling so crushed.

"Nothing James , please" she pleaded now, still not looking up. James released her right hand and reached her face, he caressed her cheek and brought her face up and close to him that practically Lily could feel the warmth of his breath on her face "Please..." and he kissed her, tears started to stream down of both faces. "Please Lily..." a crying James Potter pleaded, but Lily was choking in her tears so he embraced her as hard and close as he could. Lily sobbed harder and the silent tears in James' face kept running, both falling to pieces slowly.

"Yeah he got a call from the Order" Alexis Potter explained to a concerned Remus Lupin and an exasperated Sirius Black.

"We had Poker night" pouted Sirius. "Nevermind the fact that you'll be spending the night alone Lex" Alexis simly laguhed "Can I get you another drink Remus, Black?"

"No, thank you Alexis you have been kind enough"Remus said getting up and elbowing Sirius who was lost in thought. "Oh yeah we've been detaining you long enough"

"No problem, I'll make sure James know you stopped by" she said from the door watching both young men disapparate. She closed the door. And smiled to herself.

" I thought they would never leave" said Alexis and a man came out of her bedroom. But he wasn't any man, he was Severus Snape. "You're quite and impressive actress" he said clapping.

"And why is that?" she asked putting her arms around his neck.

"For a moment I thought you wanted them to stay" said Snape. "No I was just being polite" and gave him a sexy smile.

"Could've fooled me" Snape smiled back and kissed her . "I know" and she kissed back.

James had a headache.They had almost missed their flight, and now they had only been 2 hours or so flying and he was annoyed. The conversation had not ended yet, well it hadn't even started they hadn't talked and both had been very busy reviewing the file Moody had gave them. He thought Dumbledore and him were crazy for sending them in an airplane, too muggle even for him.

He had finished the file and apparently Lily had too but before he had any chance to talk to her she had gone to the bathroom. He was waiting for her to come back he wasn't sure what to expect. Definetely things had changed now, he had kissed her, that was a change and she had kissed him back, well that was a major change, another thing they had to add to the issues that they had to discuss. But first he needed to find out what Lily had to tell him.

So finally when she came back after half an hour she had made up her mind, and surprising James she started talking.

"James there is something that I've been keeping from you since I got back" she started "before I tell you, you must know the reasons why I didn't tell straight away. When I came back three things devastated me, first it destroyed me to learn that I couldn't remember the past two years, then it practically killed me to learn that you were married.That you were no longer mine, that I had lost you, and that ironically I needed you now more than I ever had had. " Lily paused to avoid the tears to interrupt her. "But lastly was that the night I dissappeared I had gone to the hospital, a muggle one, to get some results back..." she paused took a deep breath and closed her eyes to calm herself and get through this. It was just starting " I was pregnant, I found out I was pregnant".

Shock couldn't even start to describe what he was feeling in that moment. "Pregnant?...as in having a baby...A baby... a baby...your baby...our baby." he said, not directing himself to Lily but voicing his thoughts. He turned to Lily and she was crying.

This was so wrong and James felt an incredible rage with himself so he had not only lost Lily that night he had lost his child."He...he died?" he whispered.

"She, a baby girl "choked out Lily " and I don't even know" and then Lily told him what Bellatrix had said back in France and that so far Dumbledore and Remus hadn't found out anything yet. That the only thing she knew was that she had been living in New York. When she ended James couldn't stop the tears from falling and Lily was crying in his arms. He was holding as if her life depended on it.

James embraced her as hard as he could, if he had felt bad before now he was feeling worse. He couldn't wash away the guilt. And right now all he had been doing was watch how their love crashed her wings, broken and torn, crushed like the flower under the snow. That was his Lily now a dead flower in a cold winter waiting for spring, for their love to rise again and heal her wings.

Finally they both fell asleep and they woke up when they were almost here. As Moody had said two aurors had been waiting for them at the airport and from there they were taken to a key apparition point and apparated outside the Ministry of Magic in New York. Definetely it was very different from London. They had barely talked since the outburst. James had a thousand questions but couldn't figure out how to ask them and Lily was breaking her head trying to know what was on James' mind at the moment.

They entred had their wands checked and were ask to wait inside and office. No word was exchanged until a very tall handsome young man entered. He had deep blue eyes and black hair like James, but his was longer and not completely straight , he also had a beard defining his jaw line and make him look sexy. Immediately when he entered Lily smiled and James rolled his eyes.

Lily stood up and embraced him "Alex"!". The guy smiled broadly and nodded "I know flower it's been too long if you ask me". Then he turned to James and his smile faltered, James wasn't even trying to smile "James hi" but he shook his hand "Alex , didn't know you were here, in New York".

"Work I've been here for a year now" he said sitting down.

"Really?" asked Lily really interested.

"Yes, but let's get down to buissness first. They have him here, you can go and fill out the report. And there's a file also of what happened ready for you so you can take it. That is pretty much it. Any questions?"

"We can start right away?" asked James. Alex nooded and James stood up. Lily followed but Alex grabbed her hand.

"Lily would you mind having dinner with me tonight?" he asked.

"No, not really" she said.

"At what time should I pick you up then?"he inquired.

"Eight is fine" she smiled, while James was ready to explode.

"For Merlin's sake, I can't believe it" gasped Lily.

"Yeah it was a year later from you supposed death" said Alex "Considering everything, I suppose I was lucky... I woke up in the bathtub... place was on fire... I crawled out. A few days later I woke up in a muggle hospital" Lily listened intently as he told her the attack he had suffered by death eaters in New York "I thought that was like the number one most insane story of all time. But... " he shook his head slightly "yours actually tops it..." grinning at Lily.

"Is incredible that how I apparently was at New York and we never met..." his smile quickly faded into a look of nervousness.

"It was great that you were cleared up from the murder of that man" Alex said casually. "You heard?" Lily asked curious. "Yes you have quite a story here" he said joking. He paused for a moment and looked at her "Do you imagine how our lives would have turned out, if we had fallen in love?"

"Quite diferent I suppose" granted Lily " but best friends couldn't be lovers... " then in a more joking tone she said "or perhaps I wasn't pretty enough for you" she laughed.

"Are you kidding me?" he said smilig lovingly at Lily. "You're like the most beautiful thing I've ever seen" Lily smiled warmly back at Alex. They finished dinner and Alex invited her over to his appartment to talk.

"I wish I had you back in England there's Nelle, Tash, Lindsay but still I feel so lonely...and there's James...who I just can't... get out of my head. How pathetic". She laughed and took a sip from a glass of vodka she was holding. "No, not really sounds to me like Hogwarts 7th year".

"No, I wish... he is married you know?"

"I know"he pulled her closer to him. "Is just that there are moments where I am not sure where I am going and what I am doing... I just..."

"You'll figure it out" Alex said taking a huge swig of vodka.

"What makes you say that...?" she asked.

"Because you're you..." she looked up at him and smiled slightly.

"Where is Lily?" asked the floating head of Remus to a very angry James Potter.

"She is out having dinner with Alex Caerphilly" he said. He stared at Remus, and he couldn't restrain himself. "Did you know?" he asked hoarsely. Remus looked taken aback from his question and didn't respond.

"Of course you did...Dumbledore said you did...How could you not tell me Remus?"

"James what are you talking about?"asked Remus confused.

"About Lily... that she was pregnant" he said in a low dangerous tone.

"She asked me not to, please understand James,. You're my brother but she's my sister" he explained. He didn't want James mad at him and he knew he would understand, she obviously had her reasons, and everybody could see them.

"She told you? Huh" asked Remus, he had suspected Lily would gave in but the didn't think it would be that soon.

"Yeah... I better get some sleep. I had a rough day" He decided not to make a big deal with Remus, he was still digesting as he spoke..

"James?"

"Yeah"

"I sent an owl, it should be there tomorrow. There is an adress where apparently she lived for a while, there in New York. Tell her please"

"I will. Night Moony"he said and turned his back the to the fire.

"Night Prongs"

Two hours or so pass and the mood in Alex appartment lightened. They were both in the floor, Alex was leaning against the couch and Lily was lying down with her head in his lap. He had a vodka bottle in his hand and she was drinking from a glass.

"You...and James' wife working together...now how the hell did that happened?"

"Let's talk about you...there is a beautiful auror in your team, single, and you haven't asked her out...why? "

"Because... Sandra... is recovering from a... tough breakup... or something"

"Hmmm..."

"Let's go back to you... you and James, and his wife... " Lily drank a huge sip from her glass. "Yeah... I hate her. I mean, I don't... she's... nice?" they both laugh at each other's miseries.

Lily's face turned more serious "But not because of her... " Alex looked down at her "It's just... I still love him..." Alex shook his head a little "Merlin...that sucks" he whispered. Lily sat up and moved closer to him.

"You know Alex, considering everything I think I'm pretty normal..."She looked as if she was about to cry but she laughed it off a little "I'm emotional...I have always been, but I've... I've never been a depressed person" holding back tears again "Until now..."

Alex was concerned for her "I get it..."

"I mean, nothing has felt the same this year, and it's... it's... not just James... it's... my parents, you and Jane gone, it's all..." and she begins to cry a little. " I don't know..."

"What?" asked Alex.

Lily turns and looks directly into his eyes "I'm just alone" she began crying more and Alex leaned in to comfort her. He kissed her on the forehead and pulled her into his arms. She began crying on her shoulder and he sooth her. "It's okay, it's okay"

Then Lily hold him tighter and nuzzled her face into his neck. Her face leaned into his and he began kissing her full on the lips. They kissed passionately and in he took her hand and led her into the bedroom.

"You could've told me. I was worried" exclaimed James following her through the bedroom.

"Look James I don't have time for your stupid behaviour. I need the adress, we leave tonight " she demanded extending her hand, and the other resting in her hip. James was angry she hadn't come last night hewas sure, athough when he woke up she was there, he knew she had came in very late and he was jealous as hell.

"I am coming with you" he stated, blocking her way from the door and not giving her the letter.

"No you're not, is not any of your buisness. It concerns me and has nothing to do with you" she said trying her voice not quiver, she tried to gave him the cold stare.

"Maybe that was before you told me, you were pregnant." He said boldly. "Like it or not, is my child dissapearance we are talking about too so it concerns me " Lily was at a loss of words, so then James exited the room and Lily followed shortly after when she had recovered.

They were standing outside the hotel waiting for a cab. "Lily, I am sorry" he finally said.

"For what?" she asked avoiding his gaze there's so many things, for which of them are you apologizing James.

"For what happened earlier you're right I had no right ..."

"No...you didn't"

"But I want to know what happened too... I..."

"I know James..."

"Then...you will let me...help you?"

"Yes"

The took a cab and gave him the adress when they arrived it was a big building. They got in and went up to the fifth floor. Lily had a deja vu when they arrived to the hallway, they walked all the way to the apparment 207. She stood in front of the door for a moment turned to James.

"Familiar?" asked James.

"No, not really" she said as an afterthought. She was very nervous and she didn't know why "Do you want me to...?" asked James uncertain of what was going through her head right now. After a moment she nodded ad stepped aside. James ringed the doorbell.

And a couple of seconds later he heard someone turning the door handle" I'm coming" the voice of a man said. A vey familiar voice, the voice from the man they had only saw yesterday. ...Alex.

The door opened to reveal Alexander Caerphilly. He saw Lily and James standing in front and the three shared the same confused look of What the fuck... !

A/N: Short chapter...took too long...I suck I know...sorry? Please review... I swear I'll update the first days of AUGUST...top. And any questions about the story or things that might not be clear, mistakes, tell me. Review, review pleeeaseee! And to my beta do I still have one? Still I haven't heard from her... anyone interested let me know...

Ronnieharry.- don't know what I would do without you...really...jaja...probably..digging up a hole...jaja

MoonShineMagicSsarer- Hey! thanks for reading my story and been such agood friend

XXXgoosie4everXXX- A beta is someone who checks grammar, spelling of you story. Mainly proofreads it and makes suggestions.

kookie92- don't worry they'll get together it just won't be easy...

MoveBitch-Thanks!

look at me its manda deeYes its been mentioned... and no Sydney was cut because they extracted some of her eggs...that's not the reason Lily was

you'll find in the next chapters...

CrazzyD'Thank you"! I really appreciate you think so, it increases my ego:D and makes me a happy person

potterchikThe ring no she didn't gave it back, and you're the first one to ask. There is an important reason why she kept the ring during

the time she went missing, and why she came back with it. the ring has a "role" so to speak, but she can't remember...right?