Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognise. (Check chapter 1, 2 or 3)

They took a cab and gave him the adress when they arrived it was a big building. They got in and went up to the fifth floor. Lily had a deja vu when they arrived to the hallway, they walked all the way to the apparment 207. She stood in front of the door for a moment turned to James.

"Familiar?" asked James.

"No, not really" she said as an afterthought. She was very nervous and she didn't know why "Do you want me to...?" asked James uncertain of what was going through her head right now. After a moment she nodded ad stepped aside. James ringed the doorbell.

And a couple of seconds later he heard someone turning the door handle" I'm coming" the voice of a man said. A vey familiar voice, the voice from the man they had only saw yesterday. ...Alex.

The door opened to reveal Alexander Caerphilly. He saw Lily and James standing in front and the three shared the same confused look of What the fuck... !

Chapter 8 – It's easier to leave than to be left behind...

Precious and fragile things
Need special handling
My God what have we done to You?
We always tried to share
The tenderest of care
Now look what we have put You through...

(Precious-Depeche Mode)

Alexander was the first one to regain his senses first and trying to find his voice and ease the nervousness he acted casually "Lily, James to what do I owe the pleasure?Did something come up"

"Come in" he added and stepped aside to let both adults enter his appartment.Lily stepped inside,she was confused and had thousands of thoughts and questions going over in her head.Last night and this morning she had apparated, that's why she hadn't seen this coming. God, had Alex lied?

But then James instead of going in and sitting as Lily, he pucnhed Alex right in the face and then grabbed him by the lapels of his robe and cornered him against on the wall. "What the hell?You knew she was alive and you didn't tell anyone!" he yelled.

"James, Stop" said Lily grabbing him by the arm.

"Answer!" James yelled once again, and the fury in his eyes was undeniable.He look like he could kill.

Alexander cleaned the blood that was coming from his nose and sighed. "Sit down."

"I don't feel like it" spated James.

"Well you should, and you too Lily. What I am going to tell you is not easy" he said. And the couple sat, while Alex went into his bedroom and returned with an envelope and a bag with ice.

"You died for everyone. I went to your memorial service. I cried, I mourned. I had lost my best friend. Ten months went by. And one day, I got a letter"And he pulled a parchment from the envelope he had and gave it to Lily.

As soon as she saw it she recognized her own writting.

Alex,

I know you must be beyond shock as you read this note, but it is me. I just escaped from Voldemort and I am in America, in New York. I can't say more, but I need help .Please write back as soon as you can choose a place to meet me here in NY, and give the letter to this owl.And don't tell anybody about this note. Burn it as soon as you finish reading it.

Lily.

"So why didn't I wrote to James, or Danielle, or Dumbledore?"Lily asked confused.

"I wondered the same thing, hell at first I wasn't even sure if this was a sick joke or a trap. But I answered nonetheless" answered Alex.

"Why didn't you burn the parchment?" suddenly asked James. Lily had almost forgot he was there.

"Because I wasn't sure it was her talking." He answered impatiently. "So we met at New York, at a little Inn. But you looked different,and you weren't alone. You had 3 month baby girl." At this Lily gasped and look ready to break. And James was pained but neither interrupted.

"Lily!"said Alex as he stepped into the room and embraced with all the strength he could the girl in front of him.Lily started crying and stepped aside, revealing a new born in the bed.Alex caught sight of the baby and was speechless.

"Is this baby...yours?" he asked confused.

"Yes, her name is Christina Potter"she said a she carried the baby, letting the tears fall freely. Alex got closer "She's beautiful,she has James' eyes? I presume"

"When I mentioned him you started crying harder.And I had a lot of questions."

"Lily what happened to you?" Alex asked. Lily put the asleep baby in the bed and sat next to Alex.

"And you took me back to the beginning, You told me the first thing you remembered after your fight with Bellatrix. So this is what happened to you, in you own words..."

"I was approaching the door...when I heard his voice. I barely had time to turn when I saw the flash of emerald green light as it rushed towards me. And I passed out. Dead to the world. " Lily paused remembering "When I woke up it was days later, and I was in a dungeon.Hour passed before I saw anyone. Then a man entered, he told me were going to work together. And that we would achieve what Voldemort wanted." Lily paused and looked up at Alex "Then he took out his wand and used the imperio curse, I was too weak to even attempt to fight it. I had my clothes changed and I was obliged to drink a polyjuice potion. I wastransformed into someone else obviously. Then we apparated into a cementery"

"Cementery?"asked Alex confused.

"Yes a graveyard."

"Just like that he took you out?"he inquired

"Yes, I couldn't move or speak by own will, the spell was very strong and I was very weak.And there all I could do was watch." Lily lowered her head and the tears started spilling again.

"Then I saw you, all of you. James, my parents, Danielle,Tash, you,Remus, Sirius...Dumbledore." she paused.

"You were at your own service..." Alex realised.Lily merely nodded and took a moment to catch her breath again.

"I saw James holding a white lily and I wanted to run, but I couldn't, I hadn't felt so powerless in all my life.The the man spoke and he said how Dumbledore had seen my lifeless body taken by Voldemort. How I was death to them."Alex embraced her"I still remember what he said: he will mourn and move on.Find someone else perhaps."

Back in the present Lily and James are both taking all in. "But the why can't I remember any of this."

"I'll get to that" answered Alex."From your funeral, you were taken to a death eater facility at the north of England I think" then from the same envelope he had taken the letter out, he took a picture out." And Lily gasped.

"That's the man Rodolphus Lestrange killed in France... he said he knew me, that I had promised that I would come back for him. That I never had broke"whispered Lily.

"His name was Simon Webster. You were under his custody." Alex explained.

"I don't understand they kept me prisoner, and yet they didn't kill me. What use could I possibly had. Everyone thought I was dead."

"Your baby "Alex said simply.

"At first I didn't understand why they were keeping me alive. There were some days when I just wanted it all to end. I literally wanted to die." Cried Lily "Until Simon explained me that Voldemort wanted my baby."

"For what?"he asked.

"I don't know I never got to know. I entered to labor , when I was seventh months, and a death eater helped me, who happened to be the English ambassador in America. He helped me escape and leave England."

"The same one I was accused of murdering?" asked Lily.

"Yes the same one."nodded Alex.

"But the night before I parted to America, I pleaded him to take me home. I wanted to see James and my parents" Lily said sadly "But he told me that I didn't had home to return to. That I would be puttinG in jeopardy the lives of the people I claimed to love. Especially the life of Christina."

"So you left" said Alex.

"No, I thought he was just trying to scare me. I told him he was insane. He insisted that they would come after my friends, my family, after James. But I explained him that I had to see him and tell him about our daughter. He loved me, seven months were nothing. So I went to look for him "

"You saw him with Alexis" said Alex bitterly turning to look at James. James was fighting tears back, Lily had been silently crying and nodding, listening to Alex.

"As hard as it was to see them together, you couldn't confront James. You realized your presence was a danger to him, and most of all you were jeopardizing the life of your child. So you did the only thing you could."

"So I came here to New York, but I am tired of hiding. So I called you, I know that it was foolish of me dragging you into this and you must go immediately back."said Lily all of sudden getting up.

"Are you insane! I am not leaving you" said Alex getting up angrily.

"You have to. I will feel awful if something happens to you, besides if you come here they'll know.They'll know, they'll find me." She said pacing back and forth in the room. "Alex, please this i s what I need you to do. If something happens, I'll write but I can risk the baby's safety. Go back to England."

"I can't leave you like this Lily"

"You have to " Lily pleaded holding his hands. "At least for now"

"Lily, please..."but Lily interrupted him

"Alex, I have already made up mind, I knew the mistake I had made after I send you the letter, still I couldn't help mysefl I had to see someone..."

"I can move here. I can make arrangements and be transferred. They won't suspect" Alex said suddenly.

"I don't know..."

"I will make them in three months, I can be transferred and time will pass and things will cool off. It will look less suspicious."

"I'll have to think about it"

"I had to come back to England and we started communicating by letters. But everytime I received a letter I burned it immediately. But then I was in a very dangerous mission and I was attacked in my apartment, the fire, I almost died. You both know"And James and Lily nodded. He knew because he remebered when it happened. Alex was in the same team that Sirius back then. And Lily had found out the night ago.

"That accelerated my change, and I decided to be transferred to Spain, as a bridge to create less suspicion and then to New York. You had already changed you appearance, you now had... "

"straight long black hair but same eyes..." said Lily as she remebered the false identity Dumbledore had talked about, Marissa Smith. "I saw my picture. Dumbledore showed it me"Lily explained to the confused men.

"Wait a minute, Dumbledore knew?" asked James.

"Yeah, he found I was alive,six months before my reapperance apparently."

"Yes, you had to. After I came here, I bought a house in Brooklyn, the three of us moved in. You acquired a new identity under the name of Marissa Smith and soon you were working for the ministry too. After the first five months passed I thought you could actually rebuild your life."said Adam full of sorrow.

"Until you started meeting the English ambassador. As stubborn you were, you wanted to know why Voldemort wanted your baby, you couldn't let go of the past. I tried to disuadate you, but you met him. And it wasn't long before Voldemort found out you were here. Then we had to sell the house and move out and go into hiding here to this appartment."Alex paused and shook his head.

"Then one day that you were supposed to meet the Ambassador was that you found him death, you tried to revive him, but he was already death. You knew you couldn't talk, because you would expose yourself, so you left the scene before the authorities got there. And that same night you received a letter from Dumbledore, you didn't showed it to me. But the next day you had all your things packed up. And you said that you had to leave because Dumbledore knew where you were and he was putting Christina and you in danger."

"Why didn't you stop her?" asked James angry with the man in fron of him.

"Because I knew she was right, and as much as I wanted to go with her, I knew it was too risky, so I let them both go. I kept receiving letters from Dumbledore. But you were gone. Then he sent an auror , Adam Thompson."

"I had left, he never found me" said Lily.

"So, the day before you came back. I received this letter." And he pulled another piece of parchment from the envelope and what looked like a photograph.

Alex,

I am going back to England, to retrieve my life back. Christina is safe now.Thank you so much for eveything and I hope we meet again, as I am restored to my former life. Although it will be different from the last time,I'll be completely changed, you'll see.

I love you and take care.

Lily

Lily read the letter out loud.And couldn't understand. "When I found out, you couldn't remember a thing, I assume that was the change you were talking about. And the fact that Christina wasn't with you was another. Here you should keep this" Alex gave the photograph to Lily.

And when Lily saw it she smiled and cried, it was her and Christina and Alex. She was about a year old. She had red hair like Lily, and hazel eyes with thin green lines. Alex was carrying Christina and Lily was holding the baby's hand to say hi to the camera.

James couldn't believe what he was seeing. And as he and Lily looked at their daughter, he embraced her and she didn't complain.

"So I lost my memory on purpose?"asked Lily s

"I don't know Lily. I think so."

"I have to find her" said Lily.

"We will" assured her James.In less than 3 days he had found out he had a daughter and that she was alive. That it was his fault her daughter was missing, and during the last hour he had almost made his mind.

Things had definetely changed for him.Priorities had been settled the moment he found out he had a child and he was positevely sure he loved Lily. And knowing how he was responsible of all they had to live through.

He made his decision on the way back to the hotel. He was leaving Alexis, he was going to do everything possible to get his family back. It was settled.

Alexis was lying in bed with Snape. She had her head in his chest. "So no fire call, no letter, no nothing from Potty head?"smirked Snape.Alexis ignores him and throws aside the sheets and sits. Snape reached her face and turned her to kiss her.

"So, what did the werewolf said?"

"They postponed their return, apparently something came up. Obviously he didn't say what" said Alexis, looking bothered.

"Well, they made it easier, the Dark Lord thought we would have to leave today" Snape snickered. "Guess we'll have more time to play"

"No , I don't think so." She said with an evil smirk. "We should get going"

"You should know that you are amazing. Before, I mean" said Snape kissing her shoulder. Alexis got out of bed and ignored him.

"Typically, this is where you return the compliment" whined Severus.And Alexis turned and said seductively. "Well Im going to take a bath, you are free to join me"

Lily was sitting looking at the box in front of her. It was a velvet box where she kept the engangement ring James had gave her. Today after they had left Alex' place she remembered wearing the ring when James had found her, but in the picture she wasn't wearing it. She knew the ring meant something why else would have wear it precisely that night.

Her thoughts were interrupted by James. "Hey" he said and noticed the velvet box she had in front of her. He took it and opened it and he looked confused. He couldn't imagine what was she doing staring at the box with the ring.

"I was wearing it...remember?" she asked softly.She had decided to put aside their problems or issues right now, all she wanted to do was find her daughter."The night you went to retrieve me."

"Yes..." How could he not remember.

"Why? There must be a reason why I was wearing it" James remained silent. He had no idea and he didn't want to talk about the ring either.

"You know is not hard to believe what Alex said" she started "as he described the situation I could almost guess what I did next, I knew how I would react to those situations."

James stopped to think for a moment to what she said, and an idea came to his mind. "That's it Lily, think if you were afraid of compromising Christina's safety, what would you do?"

"What I did push her out of my life, yours, of England"said Lily.

"But how?"asked James. Lily took a moment to think about it and there was only one thing she could think of. "Give her in adoption, because I could not imagine leaving her in a foster home. The question is where"said Lily and she started pacing back and forth in the room.

"I know Lily. Isn't it obvious?Remember?..We talked about it" said James excitedly for the first time.

"What!What are you talking about?" she asked confused.

"Remeber when I proposed and we talked about having kids" said James carefully.

"Kids?"said a seventeen year old Lily Evans laughing.

"Of course why not?" asked James as she stroked her hair. They were lying in the grass looking at the stars. He pulled her right hand in fron of them "You see that ring on your finger?"

"Yes" smiled Lily" I see it all the time, when I get up, when I write, when I eat. It's getting annoying" she said giggling.

"Well it means we're getting married Ms. Evans. So why shouldn't we have kids?"asked James innocently. "We already started practicing" he snickered.

"James!" said Lily laughing and then she turned more serious "We're too young and there's a war out there"

"I know but you and my son would have me" said James squeezing her hand three times. It was their thing. "And we could always move" he said more lightly.

"Really? Where to?"asked Lily

"Paris, Madrid, Rome, New York. You just name a city" he said

"Definetely New York. We can visit the others in our honeymoon, but I would love to live in New York."

"Then New York it is." He winked.

"But I want our kids to go to Hogwarts" Lily whined.

"They will, don't worry. The war will be over by then" James assured her.

"It totally makes sense Lily" said James.

"Yes it could be. I pretended to leave to avoid suspicions.But we stayed and she could here in New York."

"It will not be hard to find her. " said James happily.

"How?"asked Lily confused.

"There's a spell. I am sure it will work, at least now I am" and he squeezed Lily's hand three times.

A/N: Again not a very long chapter, but it has a lot of information. Don't think my story is ending soon, is just beggining hahaha...It won't be that easy..sorry. I am sorry for the delay but I am trying to adjust to college. Is hard finding time. But I am working on it. I promise next chapter will be posted soon. It depends on how much reviews I get...

No not really it will be soon, If things go as I plan in less than a month. Which would be a miracle, but hey, I'll try. I hope you enjoy, feel free to comment about whatever you want.

And see you soon. Hopefully.

Ivy