I am still on hiatus guys but it's New Years and I
decided to give you guys something to kick it out
I hope all you guys enjoy this New Year just like me...

Usual Disclaimer: Twilight = Stephenie Meyer

Enjoy!

Chapter 12
Some of Me

RPOV

Shopping felt kind of good. A way to get my mind off of trying to discover who I really am.

Also taking my mind off Edward. I could never admit it out loud, I missed him.

Though I didn't know him I thought I needed him to be right here.

Still all of that was off my mind right now. I was trying on tight skinny jeans in dark colors and I liked them. Everything I tried on showed off my curves. In the mirror I could see guys that were in the store ogling me and I didn't feel self conscious at all.

I kind of know I could bring this reaction out on guys.

So I just gave a small smile and a wink every time. I knew Esme was watching but she just smiled and asked me to try on the next outfit.

I really like Esme. She's awesome in every way. Motherly, warm, comfortable.

Those kind of emotions were new to me I didn't know why.

After I tried on everything Esme asked me to, she decided to buy it all.

I was kind of embarrassed because I didn't think it was good or right for someone who doesn't know me to spend so much money on me.

But she waved it off and didn't want to hear of my complaining. I just nodded and smiled. She also wanted to go shoe shopping but I declined. I wanted to keep my boots…I felt more comfortable in them. Like I could do anything. So she decided to go and we could eat out to dinner.

So when we were leaving to the car I decided to try to thank her again.

"Esme, I don't know how to thank you for all these clothes. I mean I bet it was a lot of money. I wish you didn't have to spend so much on me. You barely know me"

Esme just shook her head and waved her hand in dismissal.

"Rose, everything I bought was basically made for you. I couldn't deny them to you even if I tried"

I just smiled and thought of how nice Esme really was. I hope my mom is something like her. Do I even have a mom? Dad? Brothers? Sisters?

I sighed. It sucks to be me right now.

Walking closer to the car I started feeling nauseous. I didn't know why. I mean I was fine a second ago.

"Rose. Honey what's wrong"

I shook my head. "I don't know. I feel nauseous and it's getting a little bit more stronger"

Esme then held onto me and I felt her leading me towards the car when she stopped and I knew why. Someone was here and it felt really dangerous.

"Well, well. And here I thought you were dead"

I turned to where the voice was coming from and saw three creatures advance on us and they were built, extremely pale, red ringed eyes. They screamed danger and the more they got closer, the more nauseous I felt.

"Who are you?" I said.

"Doesn't matter dhampir. You won't live long enough to know anything"

Dhampir?

What the hell is a Dhampir?

I didn't have long enough to contemplate what that word meant because at blinding speed, these weird creatures stood right in front of me and Esme and before I could run and try and protect Esme I decided against it. These guys couldn't be outrun I knew their speed and I had to kill them. I needed to protect her at all cost. So I pushed her away, my shopping bags landing on the floor and quickly landing a kick straight in the creatures chest sending him a few feet back.

The other two started to come at me and I had a de ja vu moment but I didn't have enough time to think it through. I acted on instinct. I quickly kicked one kneecap, causing it to break while the other got it's neck snapped long enough for me to grab my stake from my sweatshirt and stab it right in the heart. I knew they were dead. I wasn't scared. I wasn't hesitant. I knew what to do to these things. Who the hell am I?

I saw that the who's kneecap I snapped, was about to get up but in speed I've never felt before I shoved -really hard- the stake right where I knew the heart would be.

I don't know what the hell is going on. What are these things and what the fuck do they want with me. Right now on the inside I was freaking, I wanted to run and run until I couldn't run anymore. But in my mind I knew that if I didn't kill these things more people could be hurt and I could never turn my back on that. It's my duty.

Then I saw the other I sent flying with my kick advance and I knew he also had to die.

"Now I know why he wants to have you. You're as graceful as they say you are. More better if you were one of us." I don't know what the hell he meant by that, but there was small voice telling me that it was the last thing I would ever want.

Then from the corner of my eye I saw Esme slowly trying to sneak up on the monster but I looked at her straight in the eye and shook my head once.

I kind of felt alive. I felt powerful holding my stake, I felt that if I had this in my hand I would survive anything.

So I did the thing I know I was trained to do, I held it firmly in my hand and attacked.

Though I blocked his moves and he blocked mine, I was getting tired. Still I knew I had to go on. I have to kill this thing. I had to protect the people of this town.

So I increased the speed of my attacks, and he kept blocking.

I didn't think I would get through, but he left an opening and I took it.

When I scratched the creature with my stake it let out a scream that sounded agonizing, painful. But it was the opening I needed.

I was about to strike when I felt the back of his hand send me across the parking lot, landing onto the cold wet ground.

I heard Esme gasp, I heard the snapping of the neck. I couldn't get up yet. I knew what was happening and it made me angry, made me sad.

So I waited. I knew he was coming in for the final kill. Either die or become one of them.

The price of being a guardian. He was above me, he grabbed my neck and squeezed hard. He thought he won. Always so smug. Just like the others.

But I knew better because they always thought they were superior.

Boy how wrong are they.

He was going for the neck. "You will be perfect for him and us"

And I staked him. He screamed and I knew he still wasn't dead. Just in pain. But I couldn't let anyone hear anything anymore.

So I covered his mouth and kicked his legs from right under him causing him to fall backwards which gave me the advantage of shoving the stake all the way in.

I did it. They were dead and not gonna hurt anyone else.

"Rose, honey are you alright" said Esme as she came over to me.

I nodded my head. "Yeah, I'm fine Esme. Just really tired"

And I really was. I felt dizzy and I wanted to sleep really badly.

Esme held tightly onto me and lead me toward the car, opening the back seat she laid me down and closed the door.

What am I? and how did I do that. Am I even normal? Because I know if I was I would've been scared. I would've run away as fast as I could. But I didn't. I didn't. I stayed and fought those three things that looked like they knew who I was.

They called me a dhampir. The word was familiar. The creatures looked familiar.

Am I a freak? Am I even human? Who the hell am I and why can't I fucking remember.

I saw Esme at the corner of my eye looking at me through the window. I guess she went to retrieve the shopping bags. I would've too. Who can let those awesome pieces of clothing go to waste. Even I wasn't that weird.

Then I heard and saw Esme step into the car started to drive back to the house.

I feel so tired. So, so tired. I wanted sleep again, but I can't. Not without Edward here.

He helps me feel better.

So when we arrived back to the house, Esme helped me out of the car, supporting all of my weight, dragging me up towards Edward's room.

She laid me down on the bed and was about to leave but I couldn't let her. I didn't want to be alone right now.

So I grabbed her wrist and she turned to me looking down at me with only concern written on her beautiful pale face.

"Please stay with me Esme"

She nodded and made herself more comfortable and she soothed my hair, while I lay my head on her chest. I didn't hear a heart beat which made me question so much more.

But I was on overload, my head was starting to hurt and I knew that if I kept thinking and questioning I might lose consciousness before I saw Edward.

"Are you alright honey?"

I couldn't talk. I just tugged the hem of her dress and shook my head.

"What am I?" I whispered.

After some time, after the weird silence. I felt Esme get up from the bed.

"Esme"

"Yes honey?"

"I-I. Um…"

"What is it honey" she asked as she moved some hair from my face.

"Can you call Edward? I feel like I need him to be here with me right now"

She looked confused. And she had a right to be. But I needed Edward.

"Of course honey"

I nodded and laid down on a pillow, looking up to the ceiling. "Thank you Esme"

She left the room, I was assuming to call Edward and I felt happy.

I don't know how much more of a freak I can be. Needing the comfort of someone I barely know. But right now I don't care. Because there's so many questions, not a lot of answers.

I hate all of this. Every single thing. How much of a freak am I really.?

I mean do I really want to know my past life?

Do I want to know what only looks and feels like horror?

I could make a life here. I could start over. Only if these nice people would have me.

Because I'm tired of all this mystery. I mean I've only been awake one day and I've been attacked with weird dreams, weird feelings, and those monsters.

I don't want something that might hurt me. I want something normal and if Edward and his family could give me normal then why not take it.

This time I was alone. Running my hand through my blonde hair sitting on a bench outside. I was thinking about her and where she might be. How is she doing?

I know she's not gone. Deep in my heart and in my soul I would know. If you could hear me…they're coming for you wherever you are.

I fell asleep again. I was in this weird dream. Always the same girl.

Different features, different voice, different surroundings. Everything…different.

I was remembering the day they brought us back. The day everything changed in our lives. The day she met him and by what she told me…the day they fell in love.

My guardian. My sister and best friend.

"Where are you Rose?" I said to no one.

I sighed and laid back on the bench.

"Will you come back to me?" I said to no one…again.

He's taking forever. He said he would find her. He said he would bring her back to us.

To him.

To me.

What am I supposed to believe. Rumors spreading that she's one of them.

I can't believe it…not until I see it.

Because if she is…then she'd have to die. I would have to kill her because as much as I love her. I love my people and I know she will be the biggest threat they've ever had to kill us all.

But also because…I know for a fact. She would never want to end up that way.

But at least for now I'll believe she's out there, waiting for him to find her.

Waiting to come back to us.

I have to believe he will find her. It's the only thing that keeps me going.

The emotion of sadness was enveloping me.

I feel like I can't get out. Someone help me.

Please someone help me.

And just like that the dream or whatever it was faded.

I know I wasn't fully awake but I felt a presence next to me and I felt so much better.

Anything from that weird dream forgotten.

So whatever presence next to me I didn't want it to go just yet. So I reached for it and hugged it close to me a small smile on my face.

OoOoO

I awoke the next morning, the sun seeping in through the window, I felt happy and so controlled and rested.

I noticed someone was next to me and when I looked I automatically smiled.

"Edward" I breathed.

"Good Morning Rose"

I stared at the comforter of the bed as I blushed.

He was really beautiful. And those topaz eyes…yeah his girlfriend is super lucky.

"Want to talk about yesterday?" he asked.

I looked up at him and I felt tears well up in my eyes. I quickly wiped them away and launched myself at him, hugging him tightly.

"I was so scared and weirded out. I don't what I am Edward"

"Shhhh" he murmured in my ear and it sounded like the sweetest lullaby in the whole world. I just hugged him tighter and laid my head on the crook of his neck.

"What am I Edward?" I whispered.

"What do you think you are?" he said.

"I don't know. But it was scary Edward. And the worst part is that I wasn't afraid. I just launched at that-that thing and…it was horrible"

He laid me down on the bed and laid right next to me, facing me.

"Listen to me Rose. You are amazing okay? You don't have anything to be afraid of. I'm here to protect you"

"I don't need to be protected Edward. I know what I can do"

"So then tell me what you need Rose"

"I need to know what and who I am"

"Do you really want to know?"

I nodded.

"Then I'll tell you. What the creature said…was true"

I sat up on the bed and looked at him. "What?"

He sighed sadly and sat up, facing me. "You're a dhampir"

"What is that?"

"A half human half vampire that protects vampires with magic"

I scoffed and got off the bed, crossing my arms. "Do you really expect me to believe that?"

"No. no I don't, because I don't believe it either but I know someone who does. Someone who knows about your kind"

"MY KIND?" I shouted.

"Please don't be upset"

"How can I not be upset Edward? You're telling me something that to me makes no sense"

"If it makes no sense then tell me something else?"

"What?"

"How come you weren't afraid? How come you knew exactly how to feel and what to do?"

I threw my arms in the air. "I don't know!" I shouted.

"Tell me that you don't believe this dhampir stuff"

"I don't!"

"I don't believe you" he said in a normal voice.

"Well you should. Because I don't believe in that crap"

"What else would make more sense to you?" He said.

"I don't know. But anything but that"

"Why?"

"Because I want to be normal" I said in a normal voice.

But in a small part of my mind I knew I wasn't. I was a dhampir. I was a guardian.

I just didn't want to be anymore.

I don't remember all my life. But I know what being a guardian entitles. And I didn't want to sacrifice my life anymore.

"They come first" is not meant for me…not anymore.

"You're right" I told him.

"About what?"

"I wasn't afraid. I knew exactly what I had to feel and what to do. I'm a guardian and it's what I'm trained for but I'm tired of it. I want to live what life I know I should have"

"So does this mean you remember you're life?" he asked in a sad voice.

I shook my head. "No, I don't. but I remember that part of it. Ever since I was a kid I was trained to become a shadow. To protect and die."

"Protect who?"

"Moroi"

"Moroi?"

"Yeah," I sighed. "vampires with magic powers"

"Wow" was all he said. "What else?" he asked with a little eagerness.

I shrugged. "That's all I remember"

"What about the creatures who attacked you yesterday?"

I sighed and sat down next to him. My arms crossed. "Oh yeah, how could I forget them"

A pause. "Strigoi"

"And what is that?"

"Enemies of the Moroi who have eternal life"

"I can't believe any of this is real"

"Well believe it because it is" I said.

"And what about that silver stake thing you carry"

"It's infused with all four elemental magic. It's the only thing that could kill Strigoi"

"What about the sunlight? Can that kill them too?"

I nodded. "Yeah. How did you know?"

"I smelled ashes around you when I found you"

"Yeah, the sun is the greatest enemy they have"

"I still can't believe any of this is real"

"I know. But it is. That's why I'm not going back to that life"

He turned to look at me. "Why?"

"Because I'm tired of it all. I wanna stay here" I look away from him to the window in front of me, showing off the woods like in a beautiful painting. "with you"

"Are you sure?"

I looked right back into those eyes and with total conviction I said, "Yes"

So you guys got some inside on Rose's mind and what she really wants
To all who might ask I will bring the VA characters in, but one by one because
I do plan on giving Rose the normal life she wants.
So bare with me cuz I really wanna see how far I could take this story

Anywayz! Review!

Peace In & Happy New Year

-Kristy