Chapter 19
The Journey

RPOV

I didn't want to leave the sanctuary of the Cullen household. But what choice did I have? My best friend was in the clutches of my former lover and oldest friend. How will I be able to go forward knowing that I had him this close? And when I know he has Lissa?

No. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. They always come first. She always comes first.
I felt a surge of small anger. I've wanted this forever, since as far as I can remember. To be her Guardian. But then I look to Rosemarie, and I find that she did it all wrong. Her and her Dimitri should've chosen the other life. Lissa would always understand. In this case, I am different this time. I struggle with staying and giving up freedom. I gave up the small time of my life that I lived with The Cullen's.

"I wish I could come with you." I smiled, knowing he was behind me.

"I told you that you couldn't, and you know my reasons why. You belong here with Bella and your family. But also I want you here safe. I know I'll see you again when this is all over."

I threw some of the clothes that Esme bought me into a duffel bag that Edward had in his closet.
I had to pack right away and get on a jet to get a team ready and lead a search for Lissa.

He sighed and hugged me from behind. "How am I supposed to let my best friend go, knowing that you'll be in danger and having constant agony of not knowing that you'll come back in one piece?"

I turned around and hugged him, putting my head on his shoulder. "I'll find a way to maintain contact. You and the rest of your family are my family now. And when this is all over and Lisa is safe and Dimitri dead, I'm coming back and making a life with you guys and I'll die after living a long and very happy life."

His arms tightened around me, and then he let me go. "Now that sounds like a wonderful way to live."

I smiled and zipped up my bag. "It is. And honestly it's all I've ever wanted. Rosemarie made the mistake of letting all come first and then she lost her Dimitri. I don't want to lose mine, but I want to put myself first this time."

He turned and looked out the window. We've spent so many times this past month and a half sitting on the couch, talking, or just laying down looking out the window.

"That's another thing I'm kind of confused about." He said.

"What?"

"There's a Dimitri downstairs. Is he the reincarnation or…?"

I smiled. "Actually he's a descendant. I mean he looks like him, but I know it isn't him. Looking at him now, knowing who I was, it's ironic that I found the descendant and fell in love with him all over again. It's like fate was being cruel and nice at the same time."

He looked down at me. Confusion in those beautiful honey colored eyes. "Cruel and nice?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I mean I lost him all those years ago, and then died, was reborn into this, and found him again. But it's not him ya know. It still confuses me when I think about it."

He laughed. "And here I thought you were just plain brilliant. It's still good to know that some things confuse the awesome that is Rose Hathaway."

I laughed and punched his arm. "Shut up. I'm still smart and awesome, so that should override this small dose of confusion."

He laughed but then again turned serious. "Just come back okay?"

I nodded. "I will."

OoOoOoO

After saying goodbye, my team and I made our way to a private airstrip the guys and I quiet without saying a word to each other. Dimitri looking at me, I could feel his gaze on me, but what did he expect me to say? If I know him like I know I do, he feels something in me changing. And there's nothing that he'd be able to do about it.

When I arrived to the airport, I saw a jet waiting and ready to go. It opened up and who do I see coming out? The hottest Moroi who will forever be lusting after me.

"And how did I know you'd be the one funding this very good team to rescue me?"

His beautiful green emerald eyes stared back at me. He had a drink in his hand, his hair disheaved, still in a nice button up shirt and dress pants. His Moroi status always shining through.

"I think I established that I'd do anything for you my Little Dhampir."

"I'm starting to think there could be so many things wrong with that Adrian."

"There's always been something wrong with that." Said Dimitri. I looked at him now, his gaze on mine screaming for answers. Answers that no matter what I had now to give.

I sighed roughly and threw my bag down in my chair. "Let's talk then."

He followed me to a spare room Adrian had. I went in first and he followed behind me, closing the door. I faced him with my arms crossed in front of me. "Why can't you just wait until I do this on my own? Not have you push me just because I've changed this past month and a half."

"Do you expect me to keep quiet about this? I see the change in you. You're not the Roza you were before you disappeared. Your eyes have more sadness to them, when you saw me again I saw your love, but hesitation as well. What do you want me to think of it when I see how much you have changed?"

I walked around him and sat down on the bed behind him. "You do not know how many things I've learned. So many things I've wished I could take back. Some things I wish could stay the same." I had to let him know everything I knew. I couldn't take this anymore. And he had to know that once this was over, I'll leave him to look after Lissa.

"What can you tell me about the Dimitri you're named after?"

He shrugged. "I don't know much about him. I heard he was a good Guardian. He died protecting his charge. My mother was honored to name me after him."

I remember now.

"I need you to do me one more favor" I said to Ursurla as I entered her tent.

I was running out of time. It was a stretch, but I only had a limited time. That vampire Esme was the only one I can trust for now. Lissa is safe and will never remember, and never see me again.

"I think you underestimate me Rosemarie. These favors are winding down, and from you I am seeing nothing."

Moroi are all the same. Everything about them, even when they are Gypsies, people considered low of the low. Thieves. "You don't seem to understand Ursula. I have nothing more to lose, I have lost my best friend, the love of my life, and now my life as well. You will give me what I want, or I will end you."

She laughed and then I felt something invisible grip me. "Do not underestimate me. I found you when it was too late but make no mistake, if I ever heard disrespect from you again, I will end you and he will keep roaming the Earth and in time he will find her who you care so much about, and he will kill her without hesitation."

Her grip on me was gone and I was left standing there with fear. So much fear. He'll never find her. Not if I had anything to say about it.

"Now," she said. "What can I do for you?"

I removed the only possession I held dear to my heart and handed it to her. "This is something he gave me. Consider this my last favor. Afterwards I don't think you'll hear from me again."

She took it and closed her eyes. She stayed that way for a short time and then opened her eyes. They were glazed but still looking at me. She blinked and then her eyes focused solely on me. "Are you sure this is what you want. Do you have such little faith within yourself that you do not believe you can end the man you loved?"

"I don't want to know what you saw. You helped me erase his death from everyone, you helped me erase myself from Lissa, and now I just need you to do this and since you know the future, you know that you will never see me again."

"Will you let your reincarnation suffer your burden?"

I shook my head. "No. I do not wish for anyone but me to suffer, but you have to understand. I am only one person. You were born with rights, with choices. I was born to protect and die. You will never be in my shoes, and I will never be in yours."

"You are right. I will never know what it is like to be you." He sighed sadly. "Very well then. I will grant you this last favor." Her hands began to glow, and I could feel the heat coming from her hand and being transferred into my necklace. I was entranced that I didn't see her in front of me and by the time I did notice, her hand was touching the spot of my heart and I could feel some part of me leaving. When it was over, I took the necklace from her and she gifted me with the box to keep it in.

"Thank you for all the help you have given me. Maybe one day my reincarnation will run into you again Ursula."

She smiled sadly and touched my forehead. "Goodbye Rosemarie"

I turned and walked out her tent. "Goodbye Ursula"

"Roza what's wrong? Can you hear me?"

I looked around and I was still sitting in the bed with Dimitri next to me. "I'm fine. I'm right here."

"What happened to you? I was ready to call in Adrian to see if something happened with Lissa because when I touched you, you didn't waken from your trance."

"I want to show you something. And I need you to understand that what you see is completely real." I touched his cheek with my hand, he leaned into it and kissed my palm. "I know you will never lie to me. I just want to know what happened to you. I want to help your burden Roza"

"No one can help me." I took the necklace out from under my shirt, and placed it in his palm. His eyes glazed over, his grip tightened on it, she shuddered, and then I smelled the blood coming from his palm. "Dimitri. Come back, don't stay there. I need you here. Please come back!" I was frantic. He was breathing heavily and his grip kept tightening on the locket releasing more blood onto the floor.

"Dimitri!" the door burst open, Christian and Adrian bursting in the room.

"Rose get back" said Adrian. "He's not himself. He's in some kind of trance, and whatever spell he's under is powerful and its old Spirit magic." His voice took on a wistful curious tone. He didn't know much about his powers, the rarity of them. When he finds something that can lead him closer to the answers he needs he's all in.

"What happened Rose?" I looked at Christian, his guardian training kicking in. Christian is a good fighter, along with his Elemental power, he's able to protect himself and the people he loves. Like Lissa. "I'll tell you when you help me get his mind back here. Be careful with the locket please.

"Don't worry Rose I'll handle this. Christian, get back." Adrian approached Dimitri, his hand raised, I could see the glow of Spirit, could feel the heat. His hand touched Dimitri's shoulder and Dimitri screamed before he passed out on the bed, the locket hitting the floor blood on it, and blood coming from Dimitri's hand.

"So this is what it's embedded in?" he looked at me and I nodded. "How did you do this?"

"If you want to know so bad, go on and take a peak. It's Spirit and Ursula told me anyone with the same power as hers could read into the magic."

Adrian closed his eyes and he stiffened. Christian came to stand next to me. His dark raven hair a mess, dark circles under his eyes. I could see all the suffering he's been going through.

"I'm never going to understand Spirit. The only thing I know is it makes people crazy, but also very special."

"Did you really go through all of the Little Dhampir?" I looked up to those beautiful eyes, emerald has never been my favorite, but with him, with Adrian, they'll always be a favorite.

"What'd you see Adrian?" asked Christian.

He smiled. "I saw what Rose would look like in a couple of years, and I must say Little Dhampir, you look amazing as always."

Christian rolled his eyes. "Don't be an idiot Ivashkov. Now tell me what did you see?"

Adrian huffed and put his hand through his hair, making it a sexy mess as usual. "I saw Rose, Dimitri, Lissa. They were all from a past life. It was amazing."

"Yeah right. If you saw everything you know that it's a nightmare." I said.

Christian huffed in frustration. "Will someone please just tell me what the hell Adrian saw?"

"Fine. Adrian saw Dimitri and I along with Lissa. Our past lives. And that's not the worst of it all. Dimitri turned Strigoi, and this necklace gave me back my memories from my past life. So now I'm on a hunt for Dimitr who turned Strigoi 65 years ago. My past life made this necklace an insurance policy by using Spirit and having a Moroi Gypsy whose name was Ursula to take my memories and put them into this necklace. And now that I have my memories back, Dimitri who now calls himself Nathan took Lissa in a way to draw me out."

Christian looked at me with so many emotions I couldn't keep up. "I'm confused but I get it at the same time. It doesn't matter for now. Let's go find Lissa, you kill Nathan, and we'll all live happily ever after."

I smiled and turned back to my Dimitri laying in the bed, his hand healed thanks to Adrian. I kissed his forehead and turned to leave the room. "Come on. Let him rest, because when he wakes up, he's going to have lots of questions."

I did believe in Happily Ever After. Just not in the Moroi world anymore. I sighed and thought about Edward. I wonder what he's doing right now.