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Chapter 20
The Struggle

EPOV

I can't say that after Rose left I was in such a good place, my best friend went on a journey that I didn't want her to go on, on her own. No, not on her own. But with her team, her friends. Her lover. Dimitri. But no matter what I let her go. Her choice, her burden. I know all about burdens. They eat away at you and you're faced with your demons day in and out. Choices. It's always about choices. Rose is somehow like me, mistakes in the past that shaped your future.

I had to trust in her, in her instincts and her power. She's as remarkable as she says. But I'll never tell her that. She already has a big ego. I stayed in my room, locked in there, reeling in her scent. The marks she left in my space. Some of her clothes still in the closet, her sneakers by my door. Her scent though, so much of it is on the couch, where she would spend all her time. Looking at the moon when it would show itself, if not just looking at the view, a peaceful look on her face, her burden of being a Guardian gone only if temporary. I can't wait for her to come back.

"Do you regret it all?" I asked her one day while we sat here looking at the moon in silence.

"Regret what?" she looked at me, her beauty shining even brighter with the light of the moon shining on her.

"Being a Guardian"

She shook her head. "No. I don't. I've always wanted to protect Lissa. She's my best friend in the world, my sister. She was there for me, and I will always be there for her."

"You once said that you just live to die. It's an awful way to live."

She smiled sadly and chuckled without humor. "It is. But it's the way things run in my world. Those who are special and live for almost forever take more importance than those of us who are created from one time affairs and mistakes."

I pulled her closer to me, my arm around her shoulder, her head tucked under my chin. "I hate that you live this way Rose, that you would so willingly give your life. You should live and die like any other mortal should. With happy stories and wonderful memories, not regrets and scars that go deep into your soul."

She placed her hand on my non-beating heart and sighing softly. "I want that. I want it all without having to constantly look over my shoulder and hoping and praying I make it to the age of twenty."

She looked up at me, those beautiful eyes shining at me, capturing me in her siren song. How could someone so pure and free be born into a life of a cage?

"I want to be free with you and your family Edward. The world at my fingertips and no one getting in my way, free to see beauty instead of the darkness. You'll show me right Edward? In all the time you've lived, you've seen the beauty of the world right?"

She look lost, desperate for someone to save her. For once in her life, she wanted someone to save her from the fate she once wanted to keep.

"Yes Rose. I've seen beauty and I know there's more out there, and whenever you want, you can see it all. No more fighting, no more dying, no more looking over your shoulder. You'll be free and my family and I will be right next to you, showing you the light."

She cried herself to sleep that night, right in my arms. My non-beating heart broke seeing her this way. She was always so strong, always protecting. Never allowing anyone to see the sadness deep inside her heart.

Our relationship changed that night. She became my best friend and I realized that I fell in love with her.

Hurry back to me Rose. I don't want to lose you.

RPOV

Dimitri remained unconscious for the remainder of the night. I didn't blame him, too much in one day for one person to take. We arrived at Court while he remained unconscious and I took him to our apartment. I wonder how my love was doing, I tried to stay with him but Lissa was my priority. Christian, Adrian and I went over strategies and attack plans. Christian still couldn't believe when we told him about Dimitri and Rosemarie.

"So it's really true what they say about past lives then?"

"Yeah" I sighed.

"Is he going to hurt her?" Asked Christian.

I shook my head. "No. All he wants is me. He knows, just like he always did that Lissa is my number one priority. That I'll come for her. Right now he's letting us do what we need to do to go for her. He'll know when it's time."

"What do you mean he'll know?" Asked Christian.

"The Strigoi in Washington were his, he's setting something up, he used to flunkies we fought in Washington to draw me out. He knows me. Always has."

"Are you sure you're ready to end this?" Asked Adrian.

"I don't have a choice. I should've never let him live. I was weak before, still in love with him, hoping that I might find a way to bring him back to me, I was stupid and in the end he killed me after torturing me. He knew all along what he was doing. To him this is a game, and now he has more players."

"I want to talk about the vampires in Washington" Adrian said. "I want to know all about them."

"There's nothing to say. The Cullens are different, good, and they helped me. They became a new family to me."

"What about the bronze haired one?" asked Christian

I looked him in the eye. "What about him?"

"He looked at you like if you belonged to him, he looked at you like Dimitri does. Do you love him Rose?"

Edward. My golden eyed angel, my best friend. My love. How can I tell Dimitri that I love another just as much or maybe more as I love him?

I looked at both Christian and Adrian. "No. I'm not in love with Edward Cullen. He became my friend in my time of need. I experienced something normal with The Cullens. They became my family."

"Little Dhmapir I can see the change in you. I'll support you in whatever you want."

I smiled. "Thanks Adrian. There's nothing more to do now than to go and sleep, we'll try again tomorrow, hopefully Dimitri will be awake. We need all the help we can get in getting back Lissa."

"Sweet dreams Little Dhampir, I'm glad you're back here with us."

I smiled. "Me too"

I walked back to the apartment when I was once again pulled into Lissa's head. She must've been scared.

Dimitri was with her again, looking like a predator.
"Princess you need to understand you are a prisoner here, and you will continue to be until I get Rose."
Lissa was scared and angry. "You'll never get Rose, she'll never let you win Dimtri she'll kill you."

He laughed a hollow evil bone shuddering laugh. "She failed once before Princess, you saw so yourself. Rosemarie died after my beautiful torture. My love died, and I waited for her to come back. I searched and searched. I found her, and she'll come to me again and I will have her."

He appeared right in front of Lissa, grabbing her by the neck and pulling her close to him. "I know you Rose, I know every single part of you, and when you come for Lissa, we'll see how it ends."

The last thing I saw was his hand coming towards Lissa and knocking her unconscious pushing me back into my own body.

Son of a bitch! He'll die by my hand. He'll never bother me and I'll live once again. I'm not the Rose from my past life. I'm better, stronger, and I have more to live for.

Edward.
How I wish you were here with me right now.
You have no idea how much I miss you.

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xoxo