I scoop up the mystery punch bowl concoction into the ladle, and pour it into my cup. I'm putting the ladle back when I feel eyes on me. I glance up to see a guy looking at me at me. He's tall, tan, and brunette, with striking blue eyes. To put it simply, he's a looker. "Hey, I'm Andy," he greets me with a smile.
The next Monday, a week after I do my homework at Derek's, I have my first panic attack because of what happened. I see it in the hallway when I'm walking to Coach's class, and immediately start panicking. Even when I make it to class, and I'm sitting in my seat, the panic is still bubbling to the top. Coach starts talking about microeconomics but all I hear is a ringing in my ears.
The fear is suffocating, I can't breathe. I start hyperventilating, gasping for air, but I'm not getting any. Tears slowly form in my eyes out of terror and frustration.
"Stilinski?" I hear coach call out, but he feels a million miles away, and my eyes can't focus.
"Stilinski, you okay?" Everyone is staring; I dart from the room and run down he hallway before diving into a janitor's closet. I sink to the floor, wrapping my arms around my legs. No one comes looking for me, or maybe they do, but they don't find me. I know Scott doesn't come looking for me, because he wouldn't found me immediately, werewolf senses at all.
Even as the panic slowly subsides, I still stay hidden in the janitor's closet, hiding until the bell rings. Then I leave, go to coach's class to grab my backpack, and go from there to my jeep.
Econ is my second to last class anyway, so all I'm missing is Spanish class.
Adios amigos.
I want to drive home, but my dad has the evening shift and won't be home until tonight, and I can't handle being home alone right now, which is kind of pathetic considering I'm 16. But I can't help it, I'm afraid.
I drive around town aimlessly for a bit, before I find myself driving to Derek's loft.
"Stiles?" He questions, opening the door before I can even knock.
Maybe my total despair is written on my face, or maybe he can smell my fear, because he lets me into the loft.
"Shouldn't you be in school?" He asks, and I just shrug, avoiding eye contact, and sit at his table before my homework.
He gives me a look that I can't decipher, and goes back to reading the book next to me on the table. It's weird seeing Derek do normal people things. I always imagined his life being 50% push-ups and 50% werewolf business.
We sit in silence for a while, and I finish my homework, but don't feel like leaving quite yet, so I flip to a blank sheet of notebook paper and draw the tree again.
It's a tall, aged, pine tree.
Suddenly the front door to Derek's loft opens and Isaac walks in, which I should have expected, I mean duh he lives here, but then Scott follows him and it's beyond awkward. Seriously, just my luck.
Scott is timid, even though he must've seen my jeep in the parking lot, or hell even smelled me from the elevator. You think that would be enough time to gather the strength to see your former best friend for 2 minutes.
"Hey Stiles, what're you doing here?" Isaac greets nonchalantly.
I wave shyly but don't answer his question.
"He's here to see me." Derek pipes up; he says it as if this is a normal occurrence even though it's anything but.
"Um, hey Stiles." Scott awkwardly greets and I force myself to smile at him.
"About coach's class, um, are you alright?" He asks and I know it's just a formality to ask, if he had really cared he would have looked for me after I bolted from my desk in tears. Oh god, looking back on it now I'm mortified, there goes the sliver of a reputation I had left.
I nod at Scott and he and Isaac trot upstairs to Isaac's room.
"What happened at school?" Derek asks and I wave my hand in a "don't worry about it" gesture.
"Is it the reason you came here?" He asks and I shrug, because I'm honestly not sure. I came here because I wanted to feel safe, and being home alone wouldn't make me feel safe. But I felt afraid because of the panic attack, or well, the reason for the panic attack. So I guess it's why I came here.
"Are you alright?" This time he just repeats Scotts question, but he puts more emphasis on it, like he knows my answer to Scott was total BS.
I don't nod; I don't feel like lying to him when he actually seems to care. I don't shake my head either though, I just look at him and he reads my face.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks, and I shake my head.
"You don't talk much these days." He tells me, and I want to make a joke about how we've traded places, or how it must be a dream come true for him. I want to tell him that him and my dad are the only people who've noticed I don't really talk anymore. But instead I shrug and continue drawing my tree.
I stay at Derek's for a few hours, until about the time my dad will be getting off work. Even when Scott and Isaac leave, I stay. We don't speak; in fact we hardly acknowledge each other. I sit at the table drawing trees and playing on my phone while Derek finishes his book and makes himself coffee and reads some research papers.
Right around 7, the time I know my dad gets off work today, I collect my papers and put them into my backpack. My hand is on the front door when I turn around and look at him.
"Thanks."
I don't stay long enough to hear his reply.
I get home about 10 minutes before my dad, and spend them in the kitchen, starting on dinner for him; he doesn't even hide his disappointment when he sees the side salad I prepared.
We eat in silence, but it's a silence masked in familiarity.
It kind of reminds me of Derek, which is weird to even think.
The next day, things get a little better for me. It's lunchtime and I'm in the library picking at my sandwich when I hear a chair scoot out from under the table. I look up to see Danny sitting near me.
"Cramming for my algebra quiz next period." He explains, even though we both know that's a lie. Danny's math abilities are practically on par with Lydia's.
I smile at him gratefully, before taking a sip of my water. For the rest of lunch Danny studies material he already knows by heart while I scribble in my notebook. Right before the bell rings he turns to me.
"Hey, if you want, you should sit at my lunch table tomorrow. I mean, unless the library is your calling card or something."
And this is why everybody likes Danny, he's not popular because he's rich or hot, he's popular because he's nice to everyone.
Maybe a few months ago I wouldn't have wanted to sit with someone who's only talking to me out of pity since I had a panic attack in our class yesterday. But I'll take companionship where I'll get it.
I smile again and nod.
At the end of the day when I drive home and see that my dad's car isn't in the driveway, I don't really think about it when I drive to Derek's loft instead.
Ever since I saw it again, my fear of being alone has increased tenfold. And since my friends have decided I don't exist, I don't really have anyone else to turn to.
Maybe that will change once I start sitting with Danny, maybe he and I will slowly become actual friends. Then I wont have to bother Derek anymore, but until then…
I don't even knock, he's already standing by the door with his arms crossed, and for a second I think he's mad at me. But then he just quirks an eyebrow and sighs, leading me into the loft.
I sit at my usual spot at the table and begin on my econ essay; while Derek heads back upstairs to work on whatever he was doing before I showed up. Probably crunches or weight lifting.
When I'm about half way through my second paragraph, Isaac walks through the front door; he looks confused, but doesn't question my presence before heading to his room.
I finish my essay, before timidly picking up one of the many books Derek has stacked on the table. It's an aged book of mythology, probably from Deaton. I slowly start skimming the words before becoming entranced. I'm about a quarter way through the book before I hear Derek coming back down the stairs and I immediately shut it.
"It's okay, I mean you've already started reading it so why stop now." He tells me and I give him a sheepish expression before re-opening the book, and flipping through the pages until I find the paragraph I had been reading.
I stay until about 9, when I know my dad will be getting off work. Derek doesn't say anything about the fact that I stayed so late, and I don't say anything at all.
I smile at him gratefully and he gives me an unreadable expression before I head to my jeep and drive home
I get home right before my dad and we have a late dinner of leftovers.
The next day goes by about the same as the rest, until lunch rolls around and I find myself in the cafeteria for the first time since the semester started.
Danny waves me over and I can feel the pack staring at me from their table. Danny sits with some other kids from the lacrosse team that I don't know too well, but they don't give me any snide looks so I consider that a win. Danny and I don't have much in common, except for lacrosse, and since it's the off-season, we don't have much to talk about. But that's okay, since I don't really feel like talking anyway. I start absent-mindedly drawing in my notebook, but it's better than the library because I don't feel so alone.
Sitting with Danny also helps with the bullying. See, everyone likes Danny, so when news spreads that I'm friends with Danny; people bother me less, because they don't want to inadvertently be messing with Danny.
High school politics.
It makes me feel kinda sick though, when I think about how much the bullying would've decreased by now if Scott had just stayed by my side this semester, but I try not to dwell on it.
After school I drive to Derek's loft, and a feel a pattern slowly forming.
A/N: Thank you AGAIN for all the reviews! They always inspire me to update ASAP. You guys are crazy awesome! Also I've hit over a thousand views on this story now, woot woot! Anyway, I know I'm not writing in a lot of supernatural stuff, because it's kind of hard to fit in the 3A supernatural with this story except for maybe the alpha pack. I hope you guys don't mind that too much.