Even from down the block we hear people chanting from the house and immediately Andy pulls out his phone, we both watch the time change from 11:59 to 12:00, and cheers fill our ears. Andy presses his lips against mine and I'm so caught off guard I don't even begin to kiss back until he's pulling away. "Happy New Years." He tells me and I bite my lip nervously for a second before he starts leaning towards me, and this time I lean in too.
The next day I'm in my room playing on my laptop when my dad calls me downstairs.
"What's this I hear about you running out of the counselors office?" He asks, and I want to tell him that the school shouldn't make me go to the guidance office in the first place, but I stay silent.
"Your teachers tell me you've stopped talking, they're worried."
I want to tell him how my grades are fine, better even, since I have more free time now to study. But instead I just watch the discontent look on his face and I feel so guilty.
"Sorry." I whisper and my dad looks up at me, he looks so torn. Torn between anger, and guilt of his own.
"Stiles, I don't know what's happening to you. But you're just not you anymore. I'm sorry if I haven't been there enough for you, and I'm sorry that this phone call was such a wake up call. But I need you back kiddo."
"It's not your fault." I tell him.
"Then what's going on?"
I've decided I've said enough for today, and just give him a defeated look, and he doesn't hide the dejection from his face.
They didn't call me back to the counselor today, so I was thinking that was that, but since they called my dad I'm a bit afraid that they'll call me back to the office tomorrow.
I know deep down that I should tell someone, that I should talk. But I'm afraid. I tried telling Scott after I called the cops, but that was a bust, and now it's like my lips are welded shut.
But Thursday goes by and I'm not called back, so I'm guessing that's the end of that.
At the end of the day, I drive to Derek's loft, since my dad had yesterday off; I hadn't seen him since Tuesday. I hope things weren't going to be awkward between us. Since I sort of had a tad bit of a breakdown at his loft on Tuesday.
"Hey," he greets me as I walk through the front door and I smile at him. I wish I had werewolf senses right now so I could see what emotions he's feeling.
I finish up my homework pretty quickly since I only had it for Lit, and started drawing in the back of my notebook, which was becoming a hobby of mine.
The front door slid open and Isaac walked in, he didn't even react to seeing me now since I was over so often. Isaac heads to his room and I continue on my drawings, until the clank of a mug being set next to me startles me from my work. It's a cup of coffee, black. I smile gratefully at Derek, and he pulls up a chair across from me on the table, sipping his own drink.
"So I've been thinking about it. I was kidding when I said the book was angsty like you…but I realized Holden does kind of remind me of you," he begins and I perk an eyebrow, wondering where he's going with this, "well, it's hard to explain. Attitude like, you guys are really different. Holden's average with a pretentious attitude and you're smart and clever but you act like you're nothing." I blush at his try for a complement, "but Holden's alienated and so are you, because your friends are kind of assholes," I wonder if Isaac can hear this upstairs, I wonder if he'll tell Scott, "but you should know you're not alone, I mean you have me if you need to talk." Derek quickly finishes his ramblings.
I'm guessing he wants me to tell him why I called the cops, or how I'm feeling or something. I guess my freak out at his loft the other day made him think or whatever. I give him a shy smile, and rest my hand on his for a second before pulling away.
I'm beyond grateful for Derek, which is so weird. I guess the one tiny slither of good that came from all of this is that I got a friendship with the big, broody alpha, who deep down wasn't always so broody.
I wonder if we would have still become friends if mine hadn't abandoned me, but I don't voice these concerns. I also don't point out how hypocritical he's being, since he never talks about the fire that practically ruined his life.
We sit in silence for a while until it's time for me to go home, and I smile at him, pack my bag, and leave.
I'm really dreading tomorrow since it's the pack meeting, even if things were a little better between me and the pack, I still wasn't ready to face them all at the same time. I get home and start heating up dinner when my dad walks in through the front door. I can tell he's struggling on whether or not to say something, before he decides against it.
I'm so nervous about tomorrow that sleep is nearly impossible.
Usually Fridays go by unbearably slow, but this one flew by, unfortunately. I drive straight to Derek's loft after school even though the meeting wasn't until 9.
When I walk in I wordlessly hand Derek my worn copy of "The Outsiders", deciding Derek needed more of my recommendations.
He examines the book, before shrugging and flipping to the first page, and immersing himself in it.
The Outsiders is a short novel, so he finishes it with about an hour to spare before the rest of the pack shows up. Isaac never came home, so he was probably out with Scott. Sometimes we would get pizza before a pack meeting, and when the entire pack showed up at the same time my suspicions' of this were confirmed.
Scott waved at me when he walked in, which was definite improvement. Isaac nodded in hello, and even Allison acknowledged me with her eyes. Lydia didn't glare; she just pretended I wasn't there at all.
"Okay, let's get started." Derek said as everyone took their seats.
"Scott, what did Deaton tell you?"
All eyes turn to Scott as he fumbles for something in his backpack before pulling out some papers, and handing them to Derek.
"Well, first he said to give that to you. He also told me that Deucalion's motives are to find more alphas, obviously. But apparently they're looking for Alphas with unique skills. Like special alphas."
Everyone looks a bit confused, except for Derek, who nodded, seemingly understanding Scott's ramblings.
"Wait," Scott surprises everyone (including myself) by turning to me, "what did Morrell tell you?"
I'm confused for a moment until I remember Tuesday, and I shake my head a bit, looking at Derek.
"I mean when you didn't say anything after assumed you were waiting until the meeting, so what did she tell you?" He asks again and I'm just gaping.
"Wait, Morrell talked to you, when did this happen?" Allison asks.
I take back all my wishes of having my friends talk to me.
"Tuesday, Stiles was called to her office."
Everyone is staring at me expectantly, except Derek who looks uncomfortable.
I can't speak, I can hardly breathe.
Derek realizes I'm not going to say anything, so he butts in, "Morrell didn't tell Stiles anything."
"Then why was she called to his office?" Scott asks and I have to fight to roll my eyes, thankfully a look of realization dawns on Allison's face and she shoots him a look that says, "Shut up."
"Anyway," Derek continues, trying to draw attention away from me, "did you discover anything else about your newfound talent?" He turns to Lydia as he speaks.
She shrugs, "not really. Deaton gave me a book on banshees, but it doesn't have much information on how to control my abilities."
It's almost foreign to hear her normal voice, and not something laced with hatred. It makes me miss my friends, my old life, my old self, more than usual.
Allison tells the group about a new kind of paralysis arrow her father is working on, and Derek shares the research I gave him, aka the reason we had the meeting in the first place.
The meeting only lasts about an hour, but while everyone is packing up and getting ready to go (even Isaac) I stay where I'm seated since my dad is working late tonight and I plan to stay here until he was home.
"So have you picked out your dress?" Allison asks Lydia as the girls are pulling on their coats.
"Dress for what?" Isaac asks, and I almost make a joke about how he's quite the gossiper, but I don't.
"Prom." Lydia replies with a proud smile as everyone starts heading to the door.
"Wait, that's not until April." Scott, ever so observant.
"Who are you going with?" Isaac asks as he slides the door open.
"He's a senior so you probably don't know him," she says in a superior voice and everyone walks outside, "his name's Andy Evans." She says, right as Isaac closes the door behind them.
I jolt from where I'm seated and dash across the room to Derek's bathroom, before falling to my knees and heaving up the contents of my stomach into the toilet.
I've never kissed a boy before. I've thought about it, though. It's different than kissing a girl, rougher. I wonder if all boys are like that or if it's just Andy. Andy's seems like an experienced kisser, while my experience starts with a girl at summer camp when I was 12, and ends with Heather, with nothing in-between. But Andy doesn't seem to mind my lack of experience, so I guess I'm not doing that badly. I'm lying on my back and he's positioned on top of me, when he pulls away from my lips and starts trailing kisses down my neck. Suddenly I feel his hands toying with my belt, and I gently take his hand off, and move it back to where it had been resting before, on my chest. His hand shoots down again and he starts fumbling with the belt. I put his hand back on my chest again, thinking he must've been caught up in the moment. But then again he starts toying with the belt. "Andy, that's um, a bit much for me." I awkwardly blurt, but he ignores me, removing the belt. "Andy, I mean it, stop." He starts toying with his own belt, and I press my hands on his chest, trying to push him off. "Andy stop! Get off of me!" He's working the zipper on my pants and I start panicking. "Stop!" I shout, pounding on his chest with both my fists. "Stop! Help! Someo-" I'm cut off when he muffles my yells with his hand, and I start screaming, even though no one can hear it.
He's pulling down his pants with his free hand, and I try again to push him off, punching every surface of him that I can. He starts tugging at the waist of my jeans and I'm crying. "Please stop, please" I try telling him, but it's still muffled by his hand.
My pants and boxers are yanked down and he's moving my legs with his free hand and positioning himself and I'm in hysterics, pleading words no one can hear. He rams into me, and it's so abrupt and so unbearably painful. The entire time it's happening I just close my eyes, imagining myself anywhere but here. Finally he finishes, and climbs off of me, but I'm too traumatized to move. I'm shaking. What now, does he kill me and bury my corpse out in the middle of nowhere? But then he just zips his pants and smiles at me, exiting the back of his truck. I close my eyes again and cry silently for a minute, before finally re-opening my eyes.
The first thing I see is a pine tree.
A/N: Wow, so there it is. I knew that this chapter was going to have two flashbacks, but I didn't imagine the second one to be so long when I planned it. I know the actual rape in the scene wasn't my best writing, but I hope for all of those who haven't seen/read speak, the mystery was worth the wait. For those who have, I hope I did the book some justice. I spent much more time on this chapter than others since it's so important to the story, but I'm still not too happy with how it turned out, so sorry if it's suckish. ANYWAY, on a lighter note, thank you again for all the reviews! In the last chapter I went from 29 to 44, which is insane.