"Stiles, What the hell did you do?"

"Scott, oh my God, I -" but Scott shoves past me and grabs Allison's arm, pulling her outside.

People figure out the cops were called and start running in every direction.

"I stand there for a moment, glued to the spot until Lydia comes up to me.

"Lyds,-"

She slaps me across the face, silencing me.

The next day, I make sure to get to first period early, and find myself one of the first people there. I take my seat and immediately bury my face in my book, avoiding eye contact with the rest of the class. That is, until Scott walks in, and I can literally feel his eyes searing into my soul. I glance up at him and he just smiles sadly. Maybe he feels guilty. I don't think he realized until yesterday that I don't really talk anymore.

Which is stupid, frankly. We have more than one class together, along with pack meetings.

Thankfully, outside of Harris' class, no one talks about me getting sent to the office anymore, it's literally yesterday's news.

At lunch, no one mentions my absence from the table yesterday. Which is good, because I'm only going to be able to sit here on Tuesdays and Thursdays from now on.

After school I drive to Derek's. I hadn't seen him since Friday since I spent my weekend locked up in my room; too upset to feel fear and my dad was home yesterday.

I walk into the loft and glance around, but Derek is nowhere in sight. I shrug and start on my homework, assuming he's upstairs. I hear a creak from the spiral staircase, and turned to him, only, it wasn't him.

"Ah yes, my nephew mentioned you might come over."

I stare at Peter, but don't answer.

"He's out running some errands. Should be home soon though."

I nod, and turn back to the math problem I was currently working on.

"I must say, I'm a bit surprised to see you here. I thought you and Scott were glued at the hip, I never imagined you and Derek to be that way."

I make a face and shrug, wishing Derek would just get home.

"Is there any reason you-"

He's cut off by the sound of the door sliding open.

"Ah Derek, good you're home. I have to say I was a bit confused when you said Stiles might drop by. But it makes sense, he's not quite the conversationalist he used to be."

Derek gives him a world famous glare and Peter backtracks up the stairs.

"I'm going, I'm going."

"Sorry about him., I thought I would be able to make him home before you got here." Derek tells me as he puts whatever he bought away into a drawer.

I shrug in a 'don't worry about it' gesture.

Derek sits on the far end of the table, taking out his laptop and typing away at something.

I scribble on the side of my math homework until I here footsteps behind me.

"Well Derek and Co. It was nice seeing you all, but I need to get back home."

Derek nods a goodbye and Peter heads out. I look out the window and see him get in his car and drive off.

"As an alpha how much control do you have over your pack members?"

My voice is raspy and talking makes me panicky, but I need to know.

Derek doesn't look up from his laptop, "over my betas? A bit, I mean you saw what a single growl could do to Isaac."

I feel bad bringing up his betas, knowing Erica's gone and Boyd is missing.

"But what about the human members?"

Derek gives me a confused look, "well, I can command you to do things, and hope you follow through. But I can't like, force you into submission like with a beta."

I immediately tense at those words and he notices.

"Why the sudden interest in pack dynamics?" He asks.

"No reason." I mumble, and turn my attention back to my tree drawing.

I was hoping that Derek would somehow be able to use his alpha-ness to get Lydia to stop dating Andy. It was my tiny last ditch effort for not having to tell anyone.

But now that I don't have that I have to figure out when and how to tell. I'll probably tell Scott. Even though he's been a shitty best friend, it's the only person I can think of. I know once I tell Scott my dad will find out eventually, but I can't tell him first. I just can't.

The next day I have another lunchtime session with Morrell, something I'm not sure I'll ever be able to get used to.

"Milczacy, right on time!" She must love my birth name.

I take my seat across from her and stare at the potted plant on the windowsill.

What kind of flowers are those? Lilacs?

"When did you stop speaking?" She asks this time, getting right down to business, but of course I don't respond.

"It must be fairly recent, but how recent?"

Silence.

She nods to herself, jotting something down and I fight the urge to try and glance at what she's writing.

I start chewing on my bottom lips while she asks a few more questions that I know the answers to but just wont say. I think my silence is a good enough answer for her.

The rest of the day goes by without any hiccups and soon I'm in my car driving to Derek's. My dad is working a double shift today to make up for Monday, so I'll be here awhile.

Derek's walking down the spiral staircase when I walk in, he's wearing sweats and tank top and looks like he just finished a workout. I wonder what Derek's workout regime is. One thousand crunches a day?

I sit at the table while he grabs some clothes from his dresser and heads to the bathroom to change and I feel bad for making him have to leave in his own home.

Right as I'm unzipping my backpack the front door slides open and Scott and Isaac come crashing in.

"Uh, hey Stiles, what are you doing here?" Scott asks and Isaac smirks.

"Dude, he practically lives here, where have you been?"

"Oh. I didn't know you two were friends."

"He's not here to see me."

Isaac states smugly right as Derek walks into view.

"Hey Derek." Scott greets and Derek nods his head in greeting.

Isaac looks like he's about to dart to his room, but then Scott takes a seat on the couch and Isaac follows his lead.

I'm scribbling a tree when I feel eyes on me, and realize Scott's not so subtly observing me, to see if I really don't talk.

I don't know why, but it reminds me of this game we would play back in 8th grade. In class we would take turns staring at each other until the other notices, whoever could stare the longest would win.

At first I ignore it, try to focus on properly shading my current sketch. But I can't concentrate knowing I'm being observed so I look up and give him a blank stare and he gives me an awkward, forced smile and I don't have it in me to smile back.

After a few hours, Scott leaves and Isaac retreats to his room, and I don't move from my seat at the table. Derek heads upstairs to make a phone call to Deaton, and I find myself staring out the window. It's getting dark outside, I watch as cars drive past the building, and theirs some people on the sidewalk. An old woman clutching a small dog, a happy couple holding hands, a mother clutching onto her young son. Theirs just so many people, I can't help but wonder if everyone is as complicated as I feel.

Someone handing me something interrupts me, I look down to see it's a plate with some roasted vegetables and rice. Derek hasn't offered me food before, just our daily coffee, but then again I usually don't stay so late.

I smile at him gratefully, and try to swallow my guilt for eating his food.

The once silent room is filled with clangs and scrapes of utensils, and I carry out dishes back to the kitchen in an effort to be polite.

I don't leave until 11, and fall asleep as soon as my head hits my pillow, for once.

The next morning, it's my birthday. I'm 17 now. But when I look in the mirror I see the same scrawny kid staring back, and I don't feel any different. But I'll never be 16 again, and I feel weird mourning that age for a second.

My dad's still asleep, which is totally reasonable since he worked so late yesterday, so I make myself some microwave pancakes instead of the usual granola bar as a birthday treat. After that I get ready for school, making sure to wear my lucky plaid shirt.

I head straight to my locker, and then straight to Harris' class, getting there 10 minutes before the bell even rings. I spend most of class staring at my notebook, trying my hardest to focus on What Harris is saying, but finding it impossible.

After class I go to my locker, and right as I'm about to shut it I notice someone standing behind me, I whip around terrified, but it's only Scott.

"Hey, um, Happy Birthday!" He tells me, and honestly I'm so shocked he remembered. I smile at him shyly, and right when he's turning to leave, I grab his arm cautiously. He stops and turns back around to face me.

"Look, I, um-" he gives me a confused look and I take a few deep breaths, "about- at the party, I-"

Scott eyes glisten with understanding, like he knows where I'm going with this.

He doesn't.

"Look man, I forgive you okay. But you need to wait for everyone else to before you start hanging out with us again. It's only fair. I mean, I get you want all you friends back, but can you even think about how they feel? What you did was selfish, don't be more selfish by not giving them space."

I stare at him, my jaw dropping, and I realize too late that I need to fight back tears.

"Stiles?" He asks cautiously, reaching for my arm as a stray tear falls from my face.

I pull away from him and shake my head.

"That's not- something happened Scott. Something bad."

"What? What do you mean something happened? Stiles what are you talking about?"

I turn and dash down the hall, ignoring as Scott yells my name.

I hide in the janitor's closet, laying on the floor and staring at some of the tree pictures I taped to the wall. I guess this is an abandoned janitors closet or something, since no one has taken down my pictures.

I feel so betrayed. I don't know why, but I was expecting Scott to listen to me. But hearing him call me selfish was just too much.

I sigh and wipe away a final tear before heading to second period. I'm a few minutes late but my teacher is nice enough to not say anything.

The rest of the day is all right, but I'm too distracted with what happened with Scott to really think.

During lunch Danny greets me with a "Happy Birthday" and hands me some Reese's from the vending machine, which definitely helps brighten up the day.

During Econ, Scott stares at me during the entire class, but I don't even glance in his direction, afraid of what will happen if I do.

At the end of the Day I drive to Derek's. My dad's only working until 5 tonight so we can have dinner and cake together, but that still gives me an hour to kill and I don't feel like spending it alone.

Derek greets me with a usual nod, and Isaac doesn't come home. He's probably out with Scott, and I've got to say the idea of them hanging out without me on my birthday hurts.

I do my homework and proofread my lit essay during the hour I have at Derek's. It goes by pretty quickly, and is filled with silence until I'm about to leave.

Right as I'm zipping up my backpack, Derek looks up at me.

"Oh, wait." He says and rifles around in the cupboard before pulling out the plastic grocery bag he brought home the other day when Peter was here, and handing it to me. He sits down across from me at the table while I open the bag; in it is a sketchbook and a pack of graphite pencils.

"Happy Birthday, I figured since you're always drawing, may as well have a sketchbook."

I stare at the book in awe and then glance up at him and smile, an actual, genuine smile.

Someone was paying attention, someone cared.

He rises from the table but I grab his arm and he looks at me questioningly before sitting back down.

I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths while Derek watches me confused.

I can't say it.

I open the pack of pencils and flip to the first page in the sketchbook; I close my eyes and write it down before closing the book, and sliding it across the table to Derek.

I slowly open my eyes, my heart is beating out of my chest and my palms are covered in sweat as a confused Derek opens the book and reads the three words that ruined my life.

I WAS RAPED

A/N: Finally he tells someone! And of course, THANK YOU for all the reviews they always make my day! I think this is my favorite chapter so far. My own birthday was a few weeks ago (I turned 19 and felt too old even though I'm only 19) and I think the feeling the same, but knowing you'll never get to be that age again is such an odd thing, so I put some of my own weird thinking into the chapter. I don't know why this is my favorite chapter though. I think because he tells Derek and the Sterek feels, man. Plus cameo appearance by Peter. I know he's evil, but he's sassy and evil. Gotta love him. And 9 is my lucky number, so theirs that.