I spend the rest of break curled up in bed, texting apologies to my friends.

None of them accept it, and I feel like giving up.

Scott was the first to show up.

It was the next day, Wednesday, when I heard him knocking timidly at the door. He still had his backpack on him, and I could tell he came straight from school, which I didn't attend.

I opened the door and it took a moment for him to take me in. I was in sweats and a t-shirt, one arm in a cast, the other hand bandaged up. He couldn't even see the bandages on my side that my shirt covered.

He stared at me for a moment, gaping, before I sighed and moved to the side to let him in.

He timidly followed me to my room, and I took a seat at the edge of my bed, while he stood, still staring at me.

"So, the rumors are true?" He finally asks me, in a barely there whisper.

"Depends on what the rumor is." I don't bother reminding him I wasn't at school; I know he's just avoiding saying it.

"That….at the party…Andy…ya know."

I rolled my eyes, "yeah, he ya knowed me."

"Jesus Stiles."

I gave him a small shrug, not knowing what to say to that.

"Why…why didn't you tell me?"

I abruptly stood from my spot on the bed, and glared at him.

"You act like I didn't try. Remember when you snatched the phone from my hands, and I tried telling you something, but you ran away? Remember on my birthday, when I tried to tell you about something that happened at the party and you told me I was selfish?"

Realization dawns on Scott's face, and he looks even more guilty than before, a feat I assumed impossible.

He swallows, "yeah, but-"

"But what? Scott, I was RAPED!" I had finally said it out loud, the word I feared so much. I realized I couldn't let this word have power over me.

"I was raped and it was terrifying! I was screaming but he put his hand over my mouth, I tried pushing him off, tried punching him, tried everything! I was crying and begging and he wouldn't stop! It was so painful, and when it was finally over I thought he was gonna kill me or something. Do you know what it was like to go through something like that? Do you think it's easy to talk about, to tell people? It's not! Don't blame me for not telling you, when you didn't even give me a chance to!"

Scott conspicuously wipes a tear form the corner of his eye, "I'm so sorry Stiles."

I'm still fuming, months of turmoil finally exploding.

"You should be! These past few months have been hell, and I didn't even have my so called best friend there to back me up!"

"I'm still your best friend!"

I laugh, and it probably sounds borderline manic, "Where were you when a guy shoved my face against a locker and gave me a bloody nose right in front of you? Where were you when I had a panic attack in Econ? When Lydia called me out at the pack meeting?"

"You're right, I've been a terrible friend. Stiles, you have no idea how much a regret that, how sorry I am! I know I wasn't there for you then, but I'm here for you now!"

"God Scott, it was awful. I had nightmares every night, I was jumping at shadows, and you want to know why Morrell called me to her office? Because I was too afraid, too broken to talk-"

"Stiles."

"Selective mutism she called it. People shoved my face into lockers, slammed it into sinks, and taunted me everywhere I went. Nowhere felt safe, it got to the point where I was afraid to be alone. That's why I was at Derek's so often, he was one of the only people who didn't hate me-"

"I never said I hated you!"

"You sure treated me like you did. My poor dad kept trying to figure out what was wrong with me, but I couldn't tell him anything. They even got ahold of my phone number, the people from school. I thought after I deleted all my social media I'd at least be safe when at home, but nope! Texts everyday, about how worthless I was, about how I should just go kill myself. I even started to believe them, thought about how I couldn't just steal my dads gun, OD on my moms old sleeping pills, just take a knife and slit my wrists and be done with it-"

I'm cut off by Scott hugging me fiercely; for once I'm not the one crying.

"Stiles, I'm so sorry! Stiles, oh my god I'm sorry! You didn't deserve any of that! I've been an awful friend and it's okay if you never forgive me, I know I'll never forgive myself. But know that I'm here for you if you ever need it. Please, please don't kill yourself!"

I take a few deep breaths, finally ending my rant.

"I'm not gonna kill myself." I tell him as he pulls away from the spine-breaking hug that I didn't return.

"Oh, okay. Good, good. Just, I'm sorry. I really am sorry."

I cross my arms and nod at him, not knowing what else to say.

I had missed Scott, part of me just wanted to forgive him right then and there so we could go back to playing X-Box and lacrosse together. But I knew it couldn't be that easy, and even if it could, I had learned to respect myself these past few months. And I deserved better than that.

I knew I'd probably forgive Scott one day, but after he earned it.

Lydia drops by later that evening, a few hours after Scott left.

She knocks timidly, and I let her in my living room, and I can tell she's contemplating what to say for the millionth time.

"I don't know how you can handle being in the same room as me right now."

Oh, I wasn't expecting it to be that.

"I can hardly look at myself, I don't know how you can. After how I treated you, all the awful things I said. And then, even after all that, you still tried to protect me from that monster, and I attacked you for it."

"Ho, how did you figure out I wasn't lying?"

She glances at me, "at prom I asked him if he knew you, lied at said I saw you two hanging out together at the party. He freaked out, started yelling at me. He told me he was just looking for me. Which I knew was a lie because I didn't even know him then. He called me a bitch and stormed off. I'm not sure how the rumor escalated to the truth."

I nod, and she sighs.

"I really am sorry Stiles-" she tries to hug me and I flinch instinctively, guilt washes over her face.

"Sorry, I wasn't thinking. I'm just so sorry Stiles."

"I know." She nods and cumbersomely exits the living room, heading out to her car.

The next day I don't go to school again. I think if it were up to my dad I would just stay at home forever. It was his idea for me to stay home; he even called in some of his sick days just to stay with me.

Allison stops by that evening, a tray of cookies in one hand.

"So," she tells me as I take the cookies from her hand, "I've been a complete bitch to you these past few months. And you deserve better. I'm really sorry, I know these cookies don't make up for anything, but they do have Reeses in them, so at least eat them and don't throw them out in a rage. Also I may or may not have hidden a small dagger under the cookies. Consider it a gift to help protect you if any jackass tries to hurt you ever again." She kisses my cheek and then heads back to her car, never even setting foot in my house.

Well, her apology was definitely the most elaborate.

I dig under the cookies, and sure enough, theirs a small dagger with a leather case. It Even has my initials engraved, MGS, which makes me wonder how the hell Allison knows my real name. I have a small hunch Scott is involved.

"What was that?" My dad asks, descending the stairs.

I quickly shove the dagger n my back pocket, "Allison brought over cookies with her apology."

My dad shakes his head, "damn, I wish everyone who owed you an apology brought cookies. We'd be set for life."

"You get one, that's it."

My dad looks appalled, but then laughs.

"So I think I'm gonna go to school tomorrow."

My dad looks uneasy, and I can tell already he's against the idea.

"Are you sure about that? You can stay home as long as you want."

"Thanks, but, theirs only 2 weeks after tomorrow anyway. May as well get them over with, I do need to graduate on time. And I want to go back tomorrow so I have 2 days off between my first and second day back."

My dad nods, but his uneasy expression is still there, "Okay, but only if you're 100% sure. If you're worried about falling behind, know you can arrange something."

"No, I'm sure."

"I just want to make sure you're ready."

"Dad, I'll never be ready. But I went to school all semester when people hated me and my rapist was lurking the corners, he's expelled now and at least people know the truth. I think I can handle this. I have to."

My dad gives the back of my neck a quick squeeze and nods; I can tell it's killing him to know what I've been through.

"Dad, it's okay. I-I'm, I'm going to be okay. We'll do it together."

My dad hugs me tight and I hug him back, halfway glad we no longer have secrets holding us apart, halfway upset that he has to deal with what happened to me.

I grab a cookie and head upstairs.

I never fall asleep.

I'm so nervous about going to school, that I almost contemplate calling Scott to see if he'll go with me so I'm not alone. But then I realize that I went alone after the party incident, I can go alone now that everyone knows the reasoning behind it.

When I walk into school, literally every eye is on me, even a few teachers glance my way. I pretend it doesn't faze me, even though I can feel my cheeks heating up, and head to my locker.

"Hey." An unfamiliar voice greets me from the other side of the locker door. I grab my chemistry book and shut my locker, only to be greeted by the boy who smashed my face in a sink.

I raise an eyebrow and he continues.

"Look, um, my sister was raped. If I had known that's what happened to you I would've never picked on you. So sorry."

I blink twice, "well if you really want to set an example following your sisters assault, then maybe you should realize that attacking someone is never the answer."

I turn on my heel and head to first period.

I'm one of the first people there, and to my utter shock; Harris greets me with a sly grin.

"Stilinski, good to have you back."

The rumor of what happened at the party had spread like wildfire. But mostly the truth got around. Andy raped me and I called the cops but then freaked out when they answered. Their were some other variations though, like I called them, but then couldn't talk because my throat was too sore from all the forced deep throating, or I called them but then Scott snatched the phone before I could tell them what happened, which is much closer to the truth.

Most people gave me looks of pity, a few of the people that picked on me actually left me apology notes in my locker, a random girl hugged me. Andy's friends tried to threaten me, but then Scott and Isaac practically beat them to a pulp, which gave Scott another tally on the "reasons to forgive him" score.

"Well, Mr. Stilinski, I'm surprised to see you here." Morrell greets me. Was she surprised since I was absent for two days, or surprised because now that the whole school knows I was raped, the reason behind my silence has been miraculously discovered?

I sit in my normal seat, and play with one of my shoelaces.

Morrell doesn't ask any of her stupid questions, Now that the cats out of the bag, I can tell she's waiting for me to speak.

"Since everyone knows why I don't talk, do I really have to be here? Besides I'm much more vocal now, sooo."

She tilts her head, "we never unmasked why you decided to withhold speech for 4 months."

"Maybe you weren't the one to figure it out, but everyone knows now, so these meetings are kind of pointless."

"If you're talking about your altercation with Mr. Evans on Tuesday…or the rumors circulating it, that's not the type of answer we're looking for."

"You can say it, you know."

"Say what?"

"I was raped. Andy raped me. You and I both now that's why I stopped talking."

As soon as I say the word raped, she writes down about a million notes. I guess everyone who's gone through it hates the word.

"Well, that's a good reason, but it's not the type we're looking for. You blame what happened to you as the reason you withheld speech, but why?"

"What do you mean why? He raped me, I-I was afraid to speak after that."

"Yes, but what were you afraid of-" I open my mouth to protest but she continues, "and don't say Andy. Because I doubt he is the direct answer as to why you wouldn't answer a question in Chemistry class."

"I was just afraid in general. I went through a traumatic experience and was afraid after! I don't understand why you can't grasp that! Why you're acting like you understand what happened to me better than I did!"

She doesn't even flinch when I yell at her.

"You were just afraid in general?"

"Yes! I was jumping at shadows, I was afraid to be alone!"

"I think you were afraid to live."

I blanch, "what do you mean, afraid to live? Like what, I was suicidal?"

"Not necessarily. I mean that you shut down, you were afraid to live because you were afraid of getting hurt again. You were afraid to be too happy because you feared it would be ripped from you. I don't think you were just afraid of being attacked again, I believe you were afraid to function."

I don't have a response to that.

When I get home from school, my dad is in his Sherriff's uniform, which surprises me because I didn't know he was going back to work today.

I try my best to hide my disappointment, because I understand he has to work.

"You know I wouldn't go in unless it was an emergency."

"You're a cop, technically everything is an emergency."

My dad laughs, "don't worry, I called someone in to keep you company."

"But dad I-" I was about to tell him I'll just head to Derek's when Derek shyly emerges from the kitchen.

"I'll be home around 11. I left some money on the counter in case you want to order a pizza. Love you."

I smile, "Love you too."

My dad heads out the front door and I turn to Derek with a shy grin, "I can't believe he called you."

Derek shrugs, "I guess he's afraid of leaving you alone, given the circumstances."

"No, it's just I can't believe you're the person he chose to keep me company."

Derek shrugs and I backtrack.

"I'm glad though. Besides, it makes sense, you've kind of been my rock these past few months-" I blush "so thanks, for being there."

"I didn't do anything, you're stronger than you think."

I smile and turn away.

"Want to watch a movie? I'm sure my dad wont mind if we get something on Pay Per View. Ooh, and we have cookies in the fridge."

Derek nods, and I head to the fridge and grab the tray of cookies, two sodas, and the pizza money for later.

We sit on the couch and I get up the pay per view menu.

"Ugh, these are all lame," I tell him, looking at the small selection of films, and he nods in agreement, "have you ever seen The Dark Knight?" I ask, turning to him.

"I saw in in theatres but don't remember it too well."

"You've only seen it once?!"

Derek snorts, "at least I saw in in theatres, you were probably too young to see it when it came out."

I huff jokingly, "I'll have you know, it was PG-13 and I was 13 when it came out. I saw it in theatres twice."

"You would."

"Anyway, it's on Netflix. Want to go upstairs and watch it on my laptop?"

Derek nods and I can tell he doesn't really care either way, which shows he needs to see the movie again and straighten out his priorities.

We head to my room, and I grab my laptop from my desk before I sit on my bed, scotching near the wall. Derek sits next to me, my beds a twin so it's a bit of a squeeze, but we make it work.

For once in my life, I wasn't paying attention while watching a Batman movie. Derek was, I could tell because instead of watching the movie, I was watching him.

I pause it right as the joker infiltrates the police.

"So I talked to Morrell today, and, well she said something…about what happened to me, that really made me think."

"Gave you perspective?"

"Yeah. She, she told me that I wasn't just afraid in general after what Andy did. She said I was afraid to live, afraid to…experience happy things out of fear they would be ripped from me."

"And?"

"And I realized the was right. And I don't want to do that anymore. I-I think I deserve to be happy."

"You deserve a lifetime of happiness, Stiles."

I bite down on my lip and blush.

"You make me happy." I tell him, turning away timidly.

"I do? I-I'm glad."

"I don't want to be afraid to live anymore."

I slowly turn my head and glance at him, before closing my eyes and trying to garner up the courage. Here goes nothing.

"And I just, I just really want to kiss you right now."

Before I can open my eyes to even see Derek's reaction, I feel a pair of soft lips on mine.

The kiss is short, sweet, and gentle. Theirs no open mouth or tongue. He knows I'm not ready for that, and I'm not sure he is either. Yet it's more passionate than anything I've done before, because it's filled with emotion, filled with unspoken promises.

Derek pulls away and I slowly open my eyes to stare at him.

Neither one of us speaks; we just stare at each other, smiling like idiots. I lean in and press a kiss to his cheek before resting my head on his chest and scooting my body closer to his.

I can't stop smiling.

A/N: Woo! They finally kiss! Anyway, thank you again for al the reviews! The next chapter is the epilogue, aka the last one! Ugh, I can't believe this story is almost over. It's been so much fun to write, and everyone's reviews have been so amazing!