"Hey Sam," I said as I walked around the corner of the house to the backyard, where Sam was messing with the lawnmower. "You got a few minutes?"
"Sure, what's up?" he asked over his shoulder. "Embry?" he guessed, raising an eyebrow at me.
I laughed, there was really nothing else that I could think about, and Sam knew it just as well as I did. "How'd you guess?"
"Did talking to Emily yesterday help at all?" he chuckled, turning back to the lawnmower.
"Yeah. Some," I admitted.
"But?" Sam always knew somehow when there was more to what I was saying.
I sighed and sat on the grass near where he was working. "Why the fuck hasn't Billy said anything to him?" I ground out, the frustration I'd been feeling since I'd found out Billy was Embry's father finally bubbling over the surface.
Sam huffed a sad laugh shaking his head, and turned to sit with his back against the mower handle. "I have no clue."
"Have you talked to Billy about it? Or Embry?" I demanded.
"No. I don't know what to say. It's not really my place, is it?" Sam wiped his greasy hands on a rag, avoiding looking at me. It was clear he'd struggled over this already and had come up with exactly what I had—nothing. "I mean, if Billy wanted Embry to know, he would say something, right?"
"Does Emb know?" I asked. Now that Emily had pointed out the similarities between Jake and Embry it was completely obvious. "I know I'm not the sharpest guy around, but he must have considered it, right?"
"He's never said anything about it to me. I talked to Tiffany when he first phased and she told me to butt out, so I have. It's really not our place to say anything, Paul." He sighed and ran a hand over his face. "I know that's not the answer you were looking for. Maybe he'll talk to you about it?" he suggested, giving me a sideways look and a shrug.
That seemed pretty doubtful. Embry was almost as stubborn as me; if there was something he didn't want to talk about there wasn't really much that I was going to be able to say to convince him otherwise.
"Maybe," I muttered with a shrug. "Who's running right now?" I asked, getting to my feet, thinking that a run might do my head some good.
"Jared," he answered.
"Thanks, Sam," I said as he turned his attention back to the mower as I turned to walk off into the trees.
I set out from Sam's backyard as fast as I could, not even bothering with seeing where Jared was. I was running to clear my head and hoped if I didn't engage with him he'd leave me to it. I had no such luck, of course. Jared was headed in the same direction I took off in and wasn't far behind.
'Hey, Paul! We haven't run together in a while, what with work and all,' he rambled on, picking up speed to catch up with me.
'Yeah,' was all I gave him in return, trying to keep my mind neutral. Trying not to think about something is a sure fire way to end up thinking about it though and it only took one little slip before my mind went right to where it had been for the last week. Jared knew that something had been playing on my mind; he'd tried a few times at work to get me to open up about it, but had, for the most part, stepped back when I said I didn't want to talk about it.
It wasn't that I was ashamed of the whole situation with Embry, I wasn't; I was just hoping to have it a little more sorted out in my head before I had to face it head on with the rest of the guys. Somehow we had both managed to keep things under wraps whenever we were phased with someone else, but patrols had been stepped up lately because Sam said he'd scented another potential wolf phase and there had been more nomadic traffic lately, too.
I could feel Jared's shock wash over me, followed by anger. I knew it would be best to just deal with it head on, so I slowed down to let him catch up with me. 'Whoa! Hold on a second? That faggot thinks he imprinted on you?'
'Jesus, Jared!' I shot back at him, shocked over his word choice. I hadn't meant for the imprint to come out to the pack like that, not that I was ashamed of it—confused as fuck but not ashamed—but I hadn't expected Jared to be instantly angry about it either. I phased back and pulled my shorts on, not wanting Jared to get a look at anything else in my head before I figured out his sudden flair of rage.
He phased back right after and started talking before he finished putting his shorts on. "What the fuck man?"
"Calm down! What's your problem?" I yelled, cutting him off. I stepped forward, ready for whatever this unexpected anger of his might bring my way—a habit I had picked up from fighting with Embry over the last few months, oddly enough.
"When the hell did that happen? What the fuck is he thinking? You're not queer...fuck, are you?" he sneered at me in utter disgust.
"Fuck, Jared. What if I am, huh?" I spat taking another step forward.
I knew this sort of attitude would be something we'd face if I were to accept the imprint, but I didn't expect it from Jared. I had known Jared since we were kids and I had never seen him react so strongly to anything, and certainly had no idea he held such views.
"You're not!" He shook his head vehemently. "He's got no business imprinting on you, it's got to be a fucking mistake, man. You need to talk to Sam about this shit; get him to get the fag to back off you."
I pulled back and socked him one right in the face. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, not just that he spoke so lowly about Embry because he thought he was gay—we'd all thought he was, or at least might be, and Jared had never said sweet fuck all about it in the direction he was now—but that he would speak about a pack brother that way.
"Fuck! What the hell was that for?" he groused holding his jaw.
"Do you hear the shit that's coming out of your mouth, Jared?" I growled, pacing away from him and scrubbing my hands through my hair. "What if someone had talked to you like that when you imprinted on Kim? Or talked to Kim like that? You'd fucking tear their head off!"
"Christ, Paul, calm the fuck down. It's not like he actually imprinted on you..."
I cut him off by pushing him into the nearest tree before he had a chance to spout some more shit. I held my hand against his chest and got right in his face. "Shut your fucking mouth, you don't have the first fucking clue, man."
I wanted to throttle him; I wanted to beat the living shit right out of him. Even with all the fighting Emb and I had done recently I had never felt like beating someone as much as I did then; but, he wouldn't fight back, and that knowledge took the fire right out of me, so I walked away from him again.
"Shit! You're serious aren't you?" He gaped at me in disbelief. "Imprinting is for breeding...isn't it? Jesus, this is fucked up man."
"You think? Obviously that's not what it's about here, genius!" I snarked back at him.
"Well, you told him to fuck off right? I mean, you can't actually be considering accepting it..." I just turned and stared at him. Despite how long we had been friends, I felt like I didn't know him at all. "You are! You fucking are? What the hell, man?"
"I had no idea you were so homophobic, Jared," I said shaking my head at him.
"I had no idea you were a fucking homo! Since when are you into guys?"
"I'm not..." I sighed, realizing that wasn't entirely true; I was totally into Embry. "I mean...Fuck, I don't know what I mean." I sighed again.
"Jesus, Paul, how many times did you sleep over at my place? Don't you think you should have told me?" he stammered.
"Shut up, just shut the fuck up Jared. Will you listen to yourself? Believe me, I have never thought about you that way, ever, ok. Just...shut up a second. I can't even fucking think straight." I started pacing as Jared stared at me.
He was quiet for a long time, just watching me pace back and forth and was calmer when he finally spoke again. "You are considering it aren't you?" he questioned, watching me carefully.
I stopped my pacing, looked at him, and just nodded.
"Fuck...really?" he breathed, his eyebrows creasing.
"Yeah. I get to decide, right? I mean, I can just be his friend..." It sounded weak even to me.
"You can, but there's more to it than that, Paul. You don't understand the pull the imprint has on the wolf, man...unless...have you talked to him about this? Does he want to, like, fuck you?" his face scrunched up in pure discomfort at the very thought of it.
"Seriously, Jared? Do you honestly even want to know that?" I was getting pretty comfortable with the idea, but talking about it with Jared after his nasty performance a minute ago was definitely not high on my priority list.
"Oh shit, he does! And you're thinking about it, you sick bastard!" His look of renewed disgust set my rage off again.
"Yeah, Jared!" I was back up in his face, just waiting for him to give me an excuse to hit him for real. "He wants to fuck me and I am thinking about it. If that makes me a sick-o, or a faggot or what the fuck other narrow minded name you can think up, I guess I'm it! If you have a fucking issue with that, you talk to me about it. Right here, right now. I don't want to hear about your fucking ignorant mouth saying shit to him about it, ever! You got a problem, you talk to me. You clear on that?" I had my hand on his throat holding him to the tree. He just stared at me with his mouth hanging open like a fish on a line. "Are we fucking clear, Cameron?"
He nodded; his lips pressed together in a thin line. I couldn't tell if he was pissed off, worried or fucking scared and I didn't give a shit. I stared at him, raising my eyebrows to indicate I wanted a verbal agreement.
"Yeah, I hear ya," he said quietly.
I shoved him away from me and stormed off. I hadn't actually made it very far from the Res. So, I headed back on foot. I don't know why I had thought running with someone else would be okay; sure I had been able to keep things to myself for a few minutes at a time during patrol change, but actually running with someone else had been fucking stupid. Not like it really mattered. The rest of the guys were bound to find out sooner or later anyway. It wasn't a secret per se, I just hadn't expected Jared, my friend, to freak out quite so badly. It hadn't occurred to me that someone I knew would be so fucking narrow minded.
I walked back to Sam's. Now that Jared knew, it would be best for Emb and I to face the others and just get everything out in the open. Embry had said that it was my call on when to tell the guys so I knew he'd go along with this.
Sam called Quil and Jacob to meet at his place for the end of Jared's shift. We all knew that impromptu pack meetings usually meant shit was about to hit the fan, so the room was already pretty tense when Embry walked in. I'd texted him to give him the heads up, but he still looked a little wigged out as he sat against the wall next to Quil across the room from me.
Jared walked in a few minutes later, looking at me, then Embry before flopping down in the last chair. "So everyone fucking knew but me?" he barked at me with a glare. I just gave him a look that reminded him I wasn't putting up with his shit.
"Calm down, Jared. The attitude isn't going to help anything," Sam warned. I'd already spent the better part of an hour ranting at Sam over the confrontation I'd had with Jared earlier. He had been as shocked as I was over Jared's reaction. He'd said that being the only other imprinted wolf, that he would have anticipated support or at least understanding from him.
"Before we get into this, is everything clear out there?" Sam asked.
"Yeah, sure," Jared shrugged. "I did pick up a hint of a new wolf like you said, but I couldn't pin it down; it's too faint." Returning the conversation to business as usual seemed to placate him a little.
"Right, well, everyone just be aware of it then. It's still pretty early in the change I think. I'm sure we'll be able to figure out who it is before it gets away from them," Sam addressed the group.
"That's not really why we're here though, is it?" Quil's curiosity got the better of him. "I mean, Jared seems pretty pissed about something, and Embry looks like he's about to puke. No offence, man," he added, clapping his hand down on Emb's shoulder.
Embry shook his head and met Sam's inquiring look. He took a deep breath and stood up. I looked at Jared, disgust twisting his face into a scowl.
"I got this." I glared at Cameron giving him the 'not a fucking word' look before turning to face Jacob and Quil who both looked like they might keel over from curiosity any second. "Jared and Sam know, already, which just leaves you two. I don't want to hear any shit from either of you, right?"
"Jesus, man would you spit it out already? It can't be nearly as fucking bad as you're all making it out to be," Quil bitched.
"I imprinted..." Embry blurted out.
He was interrupted by the shocked exclamations from Jacob and Quil, "What?"
"What the hell, man?" Quil balked, followed by Jake's, "On who?"
"Me," I asserted. I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow at them, challenging them to say something, anything about it.
The room fell completely silent. I could feel everyone looking at me and I hoped I looked more confident about it all than I was feeling. I wasn't fucking ashamed, no matter how it looked or sounded, I just wasn't mentally prepared to deal with another shit storm.
Quil's cackle broke the quiet. "Nice try, guys. Whose idea was this?"
"I think he's serious," Jacob added and Quil's laughter died out as he looked at Embry again.
"Oh shit...Dude, seriously?"
Embry nodded. He dropped his head and stared at the floor a moment before looking back up and meeting each person's gaze. He finally settled back on me and I could see his uneasiness shed away.
The tension in the room seemed to fade away after that. The discussion of when and how was re-hashed for everyone. We let them know that nothing had really been decided between us yet, which spurred yet another intense awkward conversation. My life hadn't been necessarily private for the last six months or so, but the last week had been fucking murder as far as personal business went.
Jacob and Quil seemed cool with the whole mess, and even seemed a little relieved that there was a reason behind Embry spending less time with them since phasing. Surprisingly, Jared kept his mouth shut for the most part, too.
Emily invited us all to stay to eat, of course, and everyone but Jared hung around. He left as soon as Sam said he could. Work on Monday was going to be fun, but I'd deal with that when we got there. Hopefully once he had a chance to cool off things could go back to normal; whatever the fuck normal is.
Quil threw his arm across my shoulder as we walked into the kitchen and looked at Emb with his telltale impish look. "So, Embry's bitch, huh, Paul? We should have known!" he laughed, ducking away before I had a chance to slug him.
"Alright, knock it off!" Sam scolded and sat at the head of the table.
I watched as everyone sat down. If only Quil knew just how close to being right he was.