You guys are way to awesome. After conversing with my husband, who is a total fan of my fic, he helped me figure out a way to continue with my plans, but saying that, they won't change again because of the manga. I hope that doesn't deter you from continuing reading this fanfic.

I want to chat a little (because I like hearing your thoughts and ideas, ect.). I understand that Ingrid sounds like a whiny cry baby, but I guarantee, it won't be that way forever. As for choosing which man she will stay with, I cannot say, though I think I made up my mind.

Her and Levi's relationship is complicated, but they do love each other. And to clear up any confusion with her and Erwin, she does still love him like she did before, but she had come to terms he didn't want her until they became married, now her feelings for him are conflicted. She wants her cake and to eat it too, as my husband said. She does love them both.

I know, I know. You guys are like, "Jane, that is ridiculous. Cut the crap and dragging on and let her shag up with just one." Oh my sweets, I am not that kind. I like to leave cliff hangers and make you frustrated and make you punch the computer. I just roll like that.

If you wonder what fuels my writing: Ellie Goulding/ Catching Fire Sountrack. Soooo gooooood...

Anyway, to writing! To warn you, this chap may feel rushed a little bit.

She laid in the tangle of sheets, listening to the sounds of the man beside her. His breathing was deep; every now and then a slight snore would come from his mouth. He looked relaxed and content in sleep, but his body was covered in a thin layer of sweat and his hair stuck to his forehead. He didn't look like the same man. She stared at him a little bit longer, before sitting up quietly and swinging her legs over the side of the bed. Her body tensed with slight pain and she bit back a groan. He was right, it did hurt.

He finally took her, like she told him too and for some reason, she wanted to cry. It didn't feel wrong being with her husband or enjoying his body as he enjoyed hers. He apparently thought her naked body was a master piece. He was one to talk. Even with one arm, he was quite the lover. You can't make comparisons. You've only ever been with Erwin. She hugged herself and looked back to see if she woke Erwin. He was still sound asleep, as usual. He was a bit of a deep sleeper, but he had a 6th sense some times.

She stood and hissed and bit her lip to stop a curse. Oh, holy Maria. He could have been more gentle. He actually was extremely gentle, but she was much smaller than him and he could only do so much. She slipped her panties back on and slipped the night gown over her body carefully. She shivered as her memory remembered how fast he had ripped it from her body. It didn't cover that much any way.

She walked over to the vanity and sat down, brushing her hair while staring at herself in the mirror. Who was that woman? She didn't have that sparkle of hope in her eyes and her face wasn't as round any more. She hadn't looked in a mirror since her wedding day. It made sense she didn't recognize herself. She looked away and brushed the knots out of her hair, the task feeling mechanical. She braided her hair to the side and slipped out the door.

She didn't feel anything. She didn't know what she was supposed to feel. She was happy when her and Erwin were together, but as soon as he fell asleep, her heart felt torn and her mind became numb. What did that mean?

She walked to the basement, surprised to see the door open and shadows playing on the wall. She quickened her pace and turned the corner. Standing in the light, struggling to wash himself, was Levi. Her eyes widened and her body moved quickly towards him. She grabbed the cloth, ignoring the fact that it was the 2nd time that day she had seen a naked man. He was sweating and his brows were knitted together in pain. He stopped and looked at her, his hand dropping the cloth and grabbing her hand. She felt herself smile at him with tears streaming down her face. She laughed happily. He was alive and awake!

"Oi, I am filthy. Do me a favor..." He was struggling to stay up. She helped him sit down and grabbed the bucket of water. His bandage needed to be changed as well. She ran around the room, following Hange's instructions and filled a syringe full of pain medication. She ran back to him and began to remove his bandages.

"I thought I lost you..." His voice was soft, exhausted. She held her breath for a moment when she saw the large incision on his shoulder that was stitched tightly up. Hange made them neat, but they looked painful.

"No, you saved me, again." She dabbed medicine on the wound. He gritted his teeth and grunted.

"For fucks sake, that piece of shit got me pretty good." He looked at her as she took the syringe. She whispered an apology and slid the needle under his skin, resulting in more curses. She took another cloth and dabbed his forehead.

"I'm sorry, I wish I could take away the pain." She continued to take care of his wound and began to wash him off. His face began to relax, the pain medication starting to work and the cool water helped with the sweat.

He sighed deeply. "You look like nothing happened to you." He let her wash his chest and stomach. She stayed away from his other parts. He would have to wash those himself.

"I got an concussion, pulled a muscle, and sprained an ankle. I got extremely lucky." She said softly, rinsing the rag. She felt pain in her groin again and she gasped and sat on the floor next to him. "Ah, why?" She leaned forward and held her stomach. How long was this going to last?

He had taken the rag and began to clean himself, but he stopped when she said why. He stared at her with his icy eyes, then they hardened, his fist tightened. She froze and looked at him with wide eyes. He knew.

They made eye contact and her tears came back to her. His body was even more tense and his jaw was set, a dark expression falling over his face. He was angry. She swallowed hard and looked away, leaning even more forward so he couldn't see her face. What had she done? Why did something so wonderful also have to be something so tragic? Why couldn't Levi just have fallen for Petra? Or even better, Mikasa or Sasha?

She felt a hand on her shoulder and she looked to see him with a somber expression. She sniffed and sighed. "I miss Petra. I would give anything..." She covered her face with one hand. "To have taken her place. Life would be easier, you know?" She laughed dryly and she felt herself go numb again. "Maybe I should have just landed and broke my neck."

"Shut the fuck up." His grip tightened and she heard him grunt in pain. His shoulder must be killing him. "I don't want to think of a world with out you." He let go and she saw him flinch in pain. "I miss Petra too, but even if I was there...I wouldn't have been able to save her. It would have all ended the same."

"I love him, Levi. I love him..." She blubbered and covered her face as she began to sob. "And I love you. Why can't I just let one of you go?"

"Because we won't let you go, simple. He was your dream and I gave you a place to run to. It will never end." He said as he stood, but with a struggle. "Help me put on some clothes and then lay in bed with me. I just want to hold your hand for a while."

She was taken aback by the comment. It was strange to hear him just want to 'hold' her hand. She stood up and found the clean clothing left by her brothers as Levi finished cleaning himself. Even in large amounts of pain and in desperate times, he was still a clean freak. She wondered if he was like that because he lived in the streets for so long that he never wanted to be that dirty again.

She turned back towards him and she found herself staring at him for a moment. He had scars and he was shorter than the average man, but the way he looked at that moment was beautiful. He had a very masculine body despite his small stature. His shoulders where broad and he had defined muscles. He hadn't been able to shave for the past week and his hair was messy. He made her heart flutter and she felt the slight pang of guilt in the back of her mind. She shouldn't be looking.

He had noticed her stare and was staring back at her softly. She looked so...fragile, scared, yet she also had that look as if she was in awe. He took a deep breath and looked away from her, which prompted her to begin dressing him.

The pants and underwear were easy enough, but trying to get his shirt on was harder. They weren't able to find a button up shirt in his size, so she had to slip his arm on his wounded side in first. Once the shirt was on, after many curses spewed by the captain, he was fully dressed. She ran her hands over the shirt to ease out some wrinkles, but also because she just wanted to touch him.

"You promised." He grabbed her chin gently and made her look at him. "You promised me." He whispered against her lips and then pressed them to hers in a chaste kiss.

She smiled sadly and her tears once again returning. "You weren't listening to me earlier, were you?" She asked quietly. "I told you, I love you."

He didn't look like he believed her, but said nothing else as she helped him to the bed and made him comfortable before sliding in next to him, careful of injuries. She laid there silently. Her body was so sore and her mind was so scrambled. Now what? She curled up into the fetal position, her body protesting slightly.

"I like it."

She looked at him in confusion, her eyes heavy with sleep. "Hm?"

"Your hair. I like the braid. You look beautiful." He mumbled and reached for her hand. She met his and laced their fingers together, pulling their hands close to her face. "You look different. You can tell that..." He stopped, his lips thinning.

She clutched his hand tighter and hid her face in their flesh. "I'm sorry." She whispered. She didn't know if it was to Erwin or Levi.

When she returned to her room, Erwin was up and cleaned up, but back in bed and resting his head against the headboard. He looked at her when she walked in and smiled slightly. "It's 3 in the morning."

She smiled back and nodded. "I couldn't sleep so I went and checked on the captain. He was awake, so I changed his bandages."

Erwin's face became serious. "I see. How is he?"

She walked over to her side of the bed and sat there, her legs crossed together, her hands limp in her lap. "Oh, the usual. He is in a terrible amount of pain though. He had a slight fever when I got down there. No sign of infections."

He hummed in response and sat up straight, pulling one leg up to rest his arm on. "And you? Are you alright?"

She smiled and looked at him, nodding, but she felt her tears fall from her face. She wiped them away quickly and looked away. Why was she crying? "I'm sorry. I don't know why I am crying. It's all I do now, it seems." She looked at him and his face was dreary. She sighed. "Erwin, I don't regret it."

He looked at her with soft eyes and nodded. "But I do."

She felt her heart drop into her stomach and her brows knitted together. "Why? I thought...I was happy...why?" She couldn't put the words together.

"It's not because of you Vettie. I loved every moment being with you. I just regret the pain this is putting you through." He reached for her, but she pulled back, jerking off the bed and onto her feet.

"I don't need or want your pity, Erwin." She looked at him angrily. "I gave myself to you..." She felt slightly violated now. "Because I thought you loved me back. That is what you made me believe."

Erwin stood and walked to her, but she stepped back from him and didn't make eye contact. He stopped and just stood there, looking at her. The silence was terrible and Ingrid wanted to run out of the room, the house, from the walls. She wanted her own life. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you with those words. I just, damn it." He ran his fingers threw his hair. "I just meant that I wish you weren't in love with some one else. I feel as if I am touching something that never belonged to me."

"I always belonged to you!" She pushed his chest, throwing him off guard. "I have loved you since as long as I can remember and you were the reason Agnes and I joined the Survey Corps! I was the one who put you back on your horse when you lost your arm, I was the one who scaled the wall with your unconscious body! I screamed the loudest when I saw..." When I saw that titan grab you. "I wanted to be by your side for so long, but you kept pushing me away. He has loved me for a long time and when I came to the realization you would never love me back, I turned to him and he was there for me. He was the one who wiped away my tears when Agnes died, he was the one who made sure I was safe and stayed alive! You just sent your condolences. My brother was killed and all you did was send you condolences. How did you expect me to feel or to do, commander?" He flinched when she said commander.

His face tightened into anger and his strong jaw set. She stood her ground, keeping her body ridged as well. "I have always known that you loved me. I was not unaware of your affections towards me. You are brave. You may not be the strongest soldier I have had under my command, but you were brave and you tried hard. I admire that about you." He closed his eyes. "I wish I could have been there to hold you and tell you how sorry I was about Agnes. I wish I could have been the one who was keeping you safe, but I couldn't. I was here, making sure that the squad was well hidden, in or out of the Capitol. I was trying to keep all of you alive. I don't blame you for giving up on me after all these years. My timing was terrible, but you are my wife now and I can't help but feel angry when I think there is another man out there that is more dear to you than I am. It is selfish and cruel, but it makes me angry. I wish I knew who it was so I could tell him that you are not his. You are mine."

She stood there staring at him with wide eyes. What was he saying? He was jealous? Why didn't he just say that before? And why did he wait so long. "Tell me why you married me. I want the truth this time."

He looked at her sheepishly and that surprised her. Erwin Smith was not one for gushy feelings. He shook his head and sighed. "The truth? The truth is," He looked at his hand. "Is that I pushed you away because I didn't want you to go down with me. When I became injured, you tended to me and I thought, 'maybe I could'. They sent me back here and Avery told me that they were marrying you off to some pompous ass and I couldn't allow that. I had a chance with you then. I took it and here we are. The truth is Ingrid, I have been in love with you as long as you have been in love with me, regardless of our age difference."

She looked at her feet, her heart pounding against her chest. The confession should have made her happy, but all it did was make her even more upset. She wished that he had told her sooner. Maybe in that letter he had sent her. But he had to tell her now. "I wish...I could have you both. That's sick, isn't it? "

"I'm not sure anymore."

She swallowed thickly and shook her head. "I don't want to argue any more. I know I am a terrible person, let's leave it at that. Just please stop treating me like I am a weak and helpless person. I did make it to graduation after all."

He smiled and nodded softly. She was tempted to use their new sex life to get information from him, but she shook off the idea. He was way to smart to be bribed or to take threats. She was also very tired.

"In the morning, there better be some damn good coffee. " She muttered.

Ok! I know it has been a long time, but I got thrown off track and I based my story to tightly around the manga, so when I wrote the last chapter, I was under the impression they were more on the run than what they really were. So I have to go back and fix what Hange said. Sorry for the confusion. I also have another story, but it is rated M for a reason, so keep that in mind. It is called A Frozen Soul and I do not have a pairing yet. So go over there, read it, and tell me who you think my OC should be paired off with.

Oh, FYI, this story may have 3 chapters left and I will make them as long as I can.

-Jane