Eridan & Cronus: La Petite Mort (French), A Phrase Used To Describe The Feeling That A Small Part Of You Has Died
This is the actual worst part. Getting dumped an all your friends ditching you an dying wasn't the worst, meeting this asshole was. Because it turns out that you an your friends weren't even the original players for your universe, there's a whole other set of twelve other trolls just like you guys. But worse. Okay, this alternate Vris is easier to get along with than yours (but you aren't sure how it'd be possible for her to be more of an ass than your Vris is), but the worst, the absolute worst part is alternate you.
This guy, he came up to you the moment you showed up in his dream bubble, an maybe you don't have as much experience with the whole flushed thing as you deserve, but you can tell when someone's hittin on you that obviously. You were all ready to brush him off an all, but then he mentioned that a different version of you had been his ancestor in his universe, and you put the pieces together. This guy is basically Orphaner Dualscar.
Okay, yeah, wow, you're willin to give him about twenty or thirty extra chances for that one. Your ancestor is basically the most incredible troll who ever lived, and the only bad thing about him is the way that he's dead. Well. You're dead too and so's this Cronus guy and he's not quite your ancestor but he's the closest you're ever gonna see, and just wow.
Well. You know those twenty or thirty extra chances? He blows right through them and keeps goin. You thought maybe alternate Kar or alternate Sol was the worst there was, but nope. Your dancestor takes the prize for prime asshole. An, you know, you could always look past that if he was a major badass the way he was supposed to be, but he's not. He's really not. You're pretty sure you could take him out without a strife specibus an him with Ahab's, an that's just wrong. He's needy as fuck (and you are self-aware enough to know that if you think someone's needy, it's gotta be really bad), he's obnoxious, he doesn't know how to take a hint, an he seems to be completely fuckin unable to hold a conversation without turnin it back to tryin to pick you up.
You weren't expectin it to bug you so much, but it really, really does. You've been buildin your whole life since you were a pupa on how incredible your ancestor was. You've been strifin with his gun since you were barely tall enough to hold it, an you've been tryin your whole life to measure up to who he was. An it turns out that he's a bigger asshole than anyone you've ever met, who seems to be completely fuckin incapable of aimin for anythin that doesn't involve his bulge. You dedicated your everythin into growin up into something that might compare to what he was, an it turns out you've been tryin to measure up to a complete fuckin moron who'll be lucky if he manages not to shoot his own fingers off.
An it takes you literally hours to get away. You're done with him within the first hour or so, but then he follows you out of his dream bubble an across three others before you finally manage to get away, an then while you're still within earshot, he starts goin on about how unappreciated he is an how nobody seems to recognize any of his many charms. There you go. You thought it couldn't get any worse, an then it did. You know that trolls are different in your two universes, an your Dualscar an Cronus aren't strictly the same, but also. They sorta are.
You get to your hive again, an dig out all the old historical records, all the archives you assembled over sweeps an sweeps of collecting everything you could find about your ancestor. But it's not the same. You read the bits Vris gave you about how he broke up with Mindfang, and. It's not badass anymore. You only see Cronus whinin about how she didn't appreciate him an she shoulda been grateful that he was willin to give her the time of night, an your stomach twists a bit. An his dramatic death at the hands of the Grand Highblood isn't really that dramatic when all you can see is a fuckin idiot failin to take a hint and get out of a bad situation before things turn nasty. That day, you take your archives an toss them over the rail of your hive, an watch them sink down into the dark water until they're out of sight.