HSWC Bonus Round 2

by spockandawe

All my written fills for the first bonus round of the 2014 HSWC. Some of these go into potentially upsetting topics, but relevant warnings for each of the stories are listed in the notes at the beginning of each chapter. These prompts took the form of non-English words with no direct English parallels.

17. Eridan-Terezi (Pale)

Eridan/Terezi (Pale): Attaccabottoni (Italian), A Person Who Corners You To Tell You Long, Meaningless Stories, Usually About Their Oh-So-Miserable Life

---

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

CA: rezi
CA: ter
CA: terezi
CA: fuckin hell all a those sound dowwnright fuckin stupid im apparently such a goddamn failure i cant even givve someone a basic fuckin NICKNAME
GC: OH BOY
GC: 4ND HOW M4Y 1 H3LP YOU TON1GHT?
GC: ON 4 S1D3 NOT3 1T 1S V3RY D1PLOM4T1C OF YOU TO C4LL MY 4CTU4L FULL N4ME STUP1D
CA: i think im gonna go with rezi
CA: and wwhats wwrong wwhat do you think is wwrong
CA: same as alwways my lifes a miserable fuckin mess and im nevver gonna get it back on track an ill die alone an unlovved
GC: 1M GL4D TO S33 TH4T MY CONTR1BUT1ON 1S SO 1MPORT4NT TO YOU :/
CA: no fuckin hell that's not wwhat i meant
CA: a course youre an integral part a my horrible fuckin life
CA: a life wwhich wwould be evven more unbearably shitty wwithout you in it
GC: 4WWW, YOU S4Y TH3 SW33T3ST TH1NGS :]
GC: SO WH4T 1N P4RT1CUL4R 1S 3SPEC14LLY WRONG R1GHT NOW?
CA: wwell
CA: first off i wwas at kars place an talkin about stuff
CA: an i dont think hes come around to admittin id be a quality fuckin matesprit yet but im definitely wwearin him dowwn
CA: but i wwas talkin about sol an bouncin some ideas off him for gettin the hate really flowwin you knoww
CA: an at first he wwas just kinda bored but he started totally shuttin me dowwn an wwhat the fuck does he think im such an asshole that he feels like he needs to manage my quadrants that dont evven invvolvve him
GC: OH D34R :[
GC: 1 TH1NK YOU M4Y B3 WORK1NG W1TH SOM3 F4ULTY 4SSUMPT1ONS TH3R3
GC: 1 H4V3 R34SON TO B3L13V3 TH4T M1ST3RS V4NT4S 4ND C4PTOR M4Y SOON B3 FORM4L1Z1NG 4 P1TCH R3L4T1ONSH1P
GC: W1TH 34CH OTH3R
CA: oh
CA: then fuckin hell im basically the most insensitivve shitty friend in the history a all alternia
CA: ill be lucky if kar EVVER decides to speak to me again at this rate
CA: surprised he didnt boot me outta his hivve right at the start me talkin all up in sols quadrant like that an him all set to make it formal
CA: but wwhat am i to expect rezi youvve seen the wway sol treats me
CA: ivve totally wwrecked evverythin an I bet neither a them wwill evver speak to me again
GC: 3R1D4N
GC: C4LM DOWN TH3R3
GC: WH4T H4V3 1 TOLD YOU 4BOUT D3F1N1NG YOUR FR13NDSH1PS 1N T3RMS OF QU4DR4NTS YOU DONT 4CTU4LLY H4V3?
CA: cmon rezi lay off
GC: NO 1D L1K3 4N 4NSW3R PL34S3
GC: JUST TO B3 SUR3 YOUR3 R3M3MB3R1NG 3V3RYTH1NG CORR3CTLY
GC: DO 1T FOR M3? :]
CA: you told me not to do it
GC: 4ND?
CA: ugh fine
CA: you told me to treat them like friends first an only wworry about quadrants wwhen somethin happens as givves me cause to wworry
GC: V3RY GOOD!
GC: GOOD 1N TH3ORY 1F NOT GOOD 1N PR4CT1C3
CA: but rezi I wwas tryin to let it happen all natural
CA: sol an i FELT right you know
CA: felt right for ages an ages noww an i really think the wworld a kar an hes just so swweet he tears himself up so bad tryin to take care a everyone
CA: an i didnt only lose any hope wwith sol but i fucked up wway wworse than i evver thought i could wwith kar
GC: 3R1D4N
GC: YOU C4NT FORC3 4 R3L4T1ONSH1P 4ND HOP3 TO 3ND UP H4PPY
CA: i knoww i knoww but i wwas tryin to let it happen sloww an fucked up bad anywways
CA: you just start wwonderin after so long if youre evver gonna find someone for you an you think youre gettin somewwhere an suddenly youre all blindsided with the fact that you fucked up regardless
CA: an that just makes you wwonder harder if theres somethin wwrong an nobody wwill evver lovve you
GC: 1 4PP4R3NTLY DO NOT COUNT :/
CA: no no fuck im fuckin up wworse
CA: you shut your flap about not countin
CA: if you wwerent around my life wwould be an unmanageable hopeless wwreck
GC: 4ND W1TH MY SK1LLFUL 1NT3RV3NT1ON 1T H4S B33N R3DUC3D TO M3R3LY 4 HOP3L3SS WR3CK :]
CA: come on rezi
CA: lay off already
CA: i cant deal wwith the teasin right noww
GC: 1M SORRY
GC: YOUV3 H4D 4N UNPL34S4NT N1GHT 4ND 1 H4V3NT B33N H3LP1NG
CA: no its good that you told me wwhats up
CA: or i probably wwoulda made things evven wworse
GC: ST1LL
GC: L3T M3 M4K3 1T UP TO YOU?
CA: howw
GC: WH1L3 SP34K1NG TO YOU 1 H4V3 B33N MULT1T4SK1NG 4ND STOCK1NG MY SYLL4D3X FOR 4 F3W N1GHTS ST4Y 4T 4 MYST3R1OUS SOM3ON3S H1V3
GC: WHO COULD 1 B3 PL4NN1NG TO V1S1T?
CA: you really mean that
CA: i thought you had a date tomorroww
GC: Y3S W3LL
GC: YOU 4R3 NOT TH3 ONLY ON3 B31NG 1NCONV3N13NC3D BY M1ST3R 4PPL3B3RRYS 4CQU1S1T1ON OF A SH1NY N3W K1SM3S1S
GC: 1 ONLY FOUND OUT 4BOUT H1M 4ND K4RK4T B3C4US3 1 D3M4ND3D 4N 3XPL4N4T1ON FOR WHY H3 K3PT PUTT1NG OFF PL4NS W1TH M3 :/
CA: oh fuck and here ivve been wwhinin to you about my problems
CA: uh
CA: im sure itll go back to normal once he an kar settle dowwn a bit together
GC: 1 B3L13V3 SO!
GC: TH3 SP4D3S 4R3 FLY1NG 4ND H3 H4S NO ROOM 1N H1S L1F3 FOR 4 T4TT3R3D OLD M4T3SPR1T
CA: i wwould tell you not to talk so bad about yourself
CA: but i already KNOWW youre wway too fuckin vvain to mean it
GC: GU1LTY 4S CH4RG3D!
GC: 4ND 1 W1LL H4V3 TH3 OPPORTUN1TY TO T34S3 H1M M3RC1L3SSLY ONC3 H3 H4S T1M3 FOR M3 4G41N
GC: 1N TH3 M34NT1M3 SH4LL W4 H4V3 OUR OWN D4T3 TOG3TH3R?
GC: 1T W1LL B3 F4R SUP3R1OR TO 4NY D4T3S C3RT41N OTH3R TROLLS H4PP3N TO B3 H4V1NG
GC: W3 C4N W4TCH '1N WH1CH 4 YOUNG, LON3LY TROLL 1NJUR3S 4ND GR4DU4LLY B3FR13NDS 4 D34DLY W1LD SC4L3B34ST, 3TC, 3TC'
CA: you only like that movvie because youre fuckin obsessed wwith dragons
GC: DONT YOU PR3T3ND L1K3 YOU DON'T CRY 4T TH3 3ND WH3R3 H3 S4V3S 3V3RYON3 4ND H1S LUSUS TH1NKS H3S D34D
CA: shut up you promised to stop teasin
CA: and its just a vvery touchin sacrifice okay
GC: SO W3LL W4TCH TH3 MOV13 4ND YOU C4N M4K3 M3 POPCORN
GC: 4ND N4CHOS W1TH HOT GRUBS4UC3
GC: 4ND DO YOU H4V3 4NY CR34MS1CL3S?
CA: im just gonna cut this off before you list evvery food knowwn to trollkind
CA: ill make you some nice things
CA: an itll be a surprise okay
CA: that means NO BADGERIN ME to tell you wwhats wwhat
GC: BUT TH3 B3ST P4RT 1S WH3N YOU F1N4LLY CR4CK 4ND T3LL M3 :[
CA: play nice this time an ill make it wworth your wwhile
CA: fucks sake just let me just do somethin nice for you wwithout you makin it absolute hell
GC: 1 W1LL DO MY B3ST TO BE GOOD
GC: 1 JUST H4V3 4 HUNG3R FOR KNOWL3DG3
GC: 4ND POPCORN
CA: im pretty sure you have a hunger for evverythin youvve evver fuckin encountered
CA: im gonna run noww so i can be sure the delivvery drone beats you here
CA: see you soon
CA:
GC:

caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]