"Samus, Ike and Link this next game is for you!" King Dedede said holding up a cue card.
Pit sighed in relief, 'At least she can't kill me yet,' he thought.
"The game is called Newsbreak! Ike, you're going to be standing in front of a green screen. This means that no matter what we play in the background, the only thing he can see is green," King Dedede said.
"It's really Green here Triple D," Ike said into a microphone looking at the screen.
"Yes we know Ike. Now then Link and Samus are going to give you hints of what's going on behind him. Whenever you two are ready," Dedede said.
"So are you seriously gonna kill him?" Link asked.
"Maybe or maybe not," Samus said in a flirty version until she realized that they were on, "Oh uh we now go to Ike in the field with this late breaking story Ike!"
"That's right, Ike has this late breaking story. Ike, can you hear us?" Link asked.
(Note, the video behind him is a football highlight film.)
"I- I-I can barely hear you over the sound of the chaos behind me!" Ike shouted.
The crowd started laughing lightly. The stand up was a bigger hit than Dedede thought.
'Sweet! Now I'll be getting more and more sponsors!' Dedede smiled to himself.
"Ike, it seems that there is a lot of action going on behind you, tell us, how did this all begin?" Samus asked.
"It all started with a poor Yaoi joke," Ike said.*
Everyone but said people were laughing, mostly because Pit looked at Ike with some confusion.
'What the hell is playing at?' Pit thought to himself.
"Ike I heard that the dirt is, WHOA!" Link interrupted himself after a bone crushing hit, "Uh… I heard that the dirt really is flying," Link said.
"That's right. The riot about that was going to play on until someone said they liked that kind of thing. And this happened," Ike responded.
"YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! TAKE HIS HEAD OFF! YEAH! SLAM THAT MOTHER [Censored] INTO THE GROUND!" Samus shouted.
Ike and Link cringed while Pit was laughing his head off. Link coughed, "Well, looks like a long ways to go. Can you give us any insight on how long this has been going on?"
"Yeah, it's been going on for the past five hours!" Ike said, "You'd think a joke wouldn't last this long but it turned into a few 'your mama' jokes and finally someone said that Samus's final smash was too cheap and one of her fans did this," At the right moment Ike stepped aside as a linebacker de cleated a running back.
"[Censored] YEAH! THAT WAS A GREAT HIT!" Samus shouted.
"And we just lost Samus to the chaos. Ike, looks like it's going to GO ALL THE WAY!" Link shouted as a running back broke free of the line and sprinted to the endzone, "do you have any comments on this?"
Ike finally started to catch on, "And I do, looks like the Steelers are going to the bowl thanks to this."
King Dedede buzzed after that and the video stops.
"Aww, I wanna see mooooooooooreeeeeeeeee!" Samus whined.
"Ike, I'm sure you've got it by now, so what is it?" Dedede asked.
"A highlight reel of some of the best plays in football?" Ike asked.
"YES!" Dedede hit the button again.
The three moved back to their chairs.
"Wow Samus I had no idea that you were such a fan of Football," Dedede said.
"Are you kidding, I make Peach and Zelda watch a game or two a week I love it," Samus said.
Peach and Zelda cringed when they heard their names. But everyone else was laughing.
"Alright let's move on to a favorite game, SCENES FROM A HAT!" Dedede shouted picking up a random hat.
Samus and Pit walked to one side, Pit still on his guard fearing mainly for his life, and Ike and Link on another.
"Here's how the scene works, we ask the audience (you the reader) to write down scenes you wanna see acted out. Then we take the good ones and put them in this hat and we'll see how many we go through starting with…. Dance moves that will never be popular," Dedede said.
Pit walked into the middle of the stage first. He stood still as the audience waited.
"YOU'RE TOO SLOW!" Pit imitated Sonic's taunt that everyone started howling with laughter.
Shortly after that Ike and Link hopped out to the stage.
"Ready? It's time for. . . THE BIG GAY DANCE!" They both shouted doing Dedede's final smash which had everyone laughing, expect for Dedede himself.
"Hahahaha very funny. Let's see here… characters that are clueless about internet fads," Dedede said.
Pit walked out again, "What's a glomp?"
And Samus attacked. A diving tackle similar to the football highlight reel blindsiding Pit into the ground.
"That's a glomp!" Samus said standing up and walking back.
Pit was a little slower as the audience roared. Link walked forward, "Hello, I'm Gannondorf and I'm here to talk to you about the Interwebs."
Everyone was laughing just as hard at that. Even Dedede had trouble getting up after that one as Ike tried to top it.
"Hello, I'm Bowser here to teach you to speak l33t," Ike said.
The laughter was astounding. Dedede was also enjoying it as he pulled out another card, "What the members of Smash are thinking right now."
Samus went this time, "That was the greatest tackle I've ever seen or done."
Link was next, "I wonder if Zelda will take me back after this?"
Ike followed, "Wonder what getting glomped by Samus feels like?"
Samus glared at Ike as Pit walked forward and the crowd roared in laughter.
"Oh dear Goddess Palutenia, ever single Smasher is gonna be gunning for my head after this," Pit said worriedly looking around the room.
Everyone again laughed. Even Dedede himself got a good chuckle.
"Alright alright, let's see here… things that will make this audience go nuts," Dedede said.
Pit and Link walked forward.
"Alright everyone pull out your ticket stubs, we're raffling off Dedede's hammer!" Link said as everyone started to cheer.
"And the keys to the Smash Mustang," Pit said and everyone was on their feet cheering.
Samus followed up, "In ten minutes, we bring out the beer."
Dedede was hitting the buzzer hard. The four got back to their seats.
"Alright tune in later to see who the winner is of the first ever Who's Brawl is it Anyway! Don't go away!" Dedede said tossing the hat into the air.
It's suppose to be the Smash illusion to Colin's bald joke bit.
Also, if you want to see this continue, write a scene you want to be played out. Something like "What Master Hand does in his spare time," or something one liner please.