King Dedede held a helpless guy by the throat in midair.
"FINISH THE DAMN STORY NOW!" The giant penquin shouted.
"ACK! ACK ACK!" The guy tried to break free from the choke hold.
"Uh Dedede, I think we need him alive," A concerned Ike said looking at the poor guy turning blue.
King Dedede looked and dropped him, and started to charge his hammer.
"Finish it for the ladies!" The ruler of Dreamland demanded.
"First of all, I will when I'm inspired. Second, threats don't work on me. Third, why the hell should I?"
Samus glared with a cannon pointed at the guy's head, "How much do you like your head?"
"!? Okay okay I'll finish, sheesh."
(Cue intro music)
The cameras pan in on the four actors sitting in their chairs and cut instantly to King Dedede.
"Hello and welcome back to Whose Brawl is it Anyway. The show where points don't matter. That's right the points are exactly like how many marshmallows fit in Kirby's mouth. Now, many of you may be wondering why it took us so long to get back in action. Well…" Dedede started.
*Flashback*
Pikachu and Lucario are fighting behind the scenes. With a single swipe of his paw, Lucario cuts the power to the set and everyone is lost in darkness. Pikachu using his electrical body soon stuns Lucario and recharges the entire studio.
*End Flashback*
"Yeah, well our final game of the evening is a down home favorite, PROPS!" The audience is confused as to what the game is.
"Link and Samus this is your prop," Dedede hands them a giant white ball, "And Ike and Pit this is your prop," hands them a giant carpet with frilling ends.
They all look confused and look at Dedede for explanation, "The point of this game is to come up with as many scenes as they can using what I gave them starting with Ike and Pit."
Pit holds up the rug, "Well Ike, it looks like it going to rain."
*BUZZ*
"Serving, 1-0," Link says tossing the ball up.
Samus then jumps up and spikes it right in Link's face and knocks him to the floor, catching the ball and jumping up and down.
*BUZZ*
"Ya man, I'm a feeling I need to fight for my friends," Ike says bobbing his head up and down.
*BUZZ*
"Honey, did you remember to get the bleach remover?" Samus asks holding the giant ball.
*BUZZ*
"Surfin' USA!" Pit says having Ike hold him up and imitating surfing.
Samus chucks the ball and knocks Pit off the top while the crowd roars and Dedede ends the game.
"We'll be right back with the winner don't go anywhere!"
*Cuts to commercial*
"THAT'S IT!?" Dedede said running forward with his hammer charged up.
The man that was held hostage before grabs the penguin by the throat, "Not yet, still have the finisher."
*Returns from commercial to the actors and Dedede standing in the middle of the stage*
"Hello and welcome back to Whose Brawl is it Anyway! Tonight's winner is PIT!"
The crowd roars with applause as Pit spins around in the chair and waves to the crowd.
"As punishment for losing the rest of us are going to do a little game for you called HOEDOWN!"
The crowd roars as the rest move around slowly. Dedede points to a section, "You guys, what is something that you'd want to forget?"
"Getting beat up by a women!" A man shouted in the back and everyone started laughing.
Samus glared in that direction but then a wicked evil smile appeared on her lips as Dedede smiled.
"Well, we all here can relate to that. Well then let's go with the Getting Beat Up By a Women Hoedown!"
The music starts playing as everyone starts clapping in tune and the camera cuts to Samus.
"Well everyone thinks they are so great. Nobody knows all the hits I take. All these guys don't know the furry that I scorn, but the brat with the wings is gonna get a new voice cord," Samus sang and everyone laughed.
Pit could be seen dropping down in his chair and trying to look as small as possible. He knew that Samus meant what she said and was afraid that she was really going to hurt him.
The music continued to play as Dedede started to sing.
"I once got into a brawl with a gal, she was a pretty thing for a while, but after the fight she was really mean, so don't mess around with the Mushroom Kingdom Queen."
The crowd laughed as the music played and Dedede danced with Samus as a typical square dance. The camera cuts to Link who is holding hands together.
"I know a gal who is pretty mean, she is stronger than a monkey. Don't ever try to throw her around, unless you like to take a chain from a ninja gal."
The camera cuts once more to the last dancing members Ike.
"All the gals I've meet have been pretty weak. Never a dull moment that I've ever take. However there was one girl that I couldn't figure out, and he's sitting right behind the desk without a fault."
"Behind the desk without a fault!" The group sang as Pit smirked back ready to pay back with some interest.
"Thanks for watching and remember to tip you're waitresses. Good NIGHT!" Dedede waved and the ending music played.
Pit and Samus were gone in flashes of light. Samus with a killer intent in her eyes and Pit was running for his dear life.
"Geronimo!" Pit shouted as he ran through the manor.
The Next Day:
Pit was still sneaking around the house, using training that Snake had given him before the events last night. He was lucky to get away from Samus. Everything was all about stealth now, and with his wings that wasn't the easiest tasks. Mario and Falcon had already gotten their revenge through a tag team match where they did nothing but throw him and then sent him tumbling down to the ground. Samus had been stalking around all day in her Power Suit.
"Well this is going to be harder than I thought," Pit said looking around the corner to see Peach and Zelda talking.
A hand was placed on his shoulder and Pit screamed in terror jumping back and knocking things over as he fell only to find Link and Ike standing there.
"Hey Pit, why are you wound up so tight?" Link asked with his hand in the air.
Ike glared but playfully helping Pit up. Peach was trying to hide a laugh while Zelda looked at the angel in disgust.
"Do you know how much that vase was that you broke? I don't care if you're running from a bunch of rapid dogs, do not break things in the house!" Zelda scolded.
Pit just sat there with a weird expression on his face, half confused and half terrified. Zelda was ranting about how that was irreplaceable when suddenly Snake walked in and looked at Pit. The terror went up as Ike and Link stepped in front of Pit, shielding him from Snake.
"PIKA!" Pikachu shouted as Pit came into his sight from down the hall.
Pit turned slowly and heard metallic footsteps. As fast as he could, he ran straight at Snake. Link and Ike following in his wake.
"Don't kill me please don't kill me!" Pit pleaded as he ran right by Snake.
"Behind the tennis courts ten minutes," Snake said as Pit ran past him.
Pit turned and looked at Snake but continued to run.
"That's what we've been trying to find you to talk to you. Samus has been trying to find you to tell you that she had fun last night. We all did. Don't get mad, but we told her that we would find you to tell you to meet her at the courts at five, in five minutes from now," Link said.
"YOU DID WHAT!?" Pit shouted and started choking Link.
Ike had to use force to pull Pit off of Link.
"Look just meet her alright, what's the worst that can happen?" Ike said.
Pit gave him a hard look and Ike shuttered, "Okay bad wording. But she's not going to hurt you I promise."
Well, they lied. Samus rigged the server to launch tennis balls at Pit. Unfortunately, Link and Ike were pulled into the fire as well.
"DON'T EVER MAKE ME DO THAT AGAIN!" Samus shouted and stormed off.
"We never work with Dedede again deal?" Pit asked.
"Deal," Ike and Link nodded.
However, without the four, Whose Brawl Is It Anyway got thousands of more viewers that tuned in every week and a constant influx of talent. Pit was still taking care of injuries from fights and refused to help Dedede ever again. Twenty million dollars in revenues later, Dedede quit it for Wario as a host and the show tanked. Link, Ike, and Pit to this day are still trying to come up with ways to torture Dedede as he walked around with money all the time.
And thus, Whose Brawl is it Anyway concludes.