The Geoff Show
Rated M for Language, Crude Humor, and Sexuality
Disclaimer: Took me a little bit, but the wait was worth it!
FANMAIL TIME!
"Hey Dudes…welcome back to the show if you just tuned in I'm Geoff and this is a little segment called "Fanmail Time!" Geoff announced as Bridgette and DJ brought 2 boxes full of fan letters.
"Thanks Bridgette, Thanks D.J!" Geoff said as he looked at the bags.
"Well guys I cannot wait to see what the fans think of us." Geoff said as he was excited.
"Me too Geoff…now let me explain how this is done." Bridgette said to Geoff as she begins explaining.
"Now…how to get the Fanmail is pretty simple…we will dump them onto this large table and then we will get started does that sound good?" Bridgette asked everyone as they cheered.
"I bet you Gwen that one of the fanmail is for Duncan begging for us to get together." Courtney said as she was livid.
"Here we go!" Shawn yelled out as he dumped all the letters from the two bags all over the large table.
"GREAT! It'll take us all night to read the fan letters!" Gwen yelled at Shawn.
"Relax Gwen there are like 12 Fan letters in each box so we have to read 6 letters per sketch per part of "Fanmail Time" in order to get it done." Courtney said to Gwen.
"Okay and the first letter comes from…Bronyville…and it is for Geoff." Bridgette said as she was kind of surprised about the location of the place of where the person was from as she gave Geoff the letter.
"Okay…let me read the letter." Geoff said as he grabbed his reading glasses and puts them on.
"Dear Geoff, are you actually related to Zack Morris from "Saved by the Bell"? I mean, you have the good looks and hair and all. Just wanted to know
Sincerely, Kinkie Pie from Bronyville." Geoff said as he was confused about the location as well as everyone laughed.
"Um…I have heard of the show I have seen the show, it's okay…I mean I look like Zach but I am not related to him by last name dude, so in laments term…no I am not related to Zach but I appreciate the compliment about the good looks and hair." Geoff said as Bridgette grabbed another letter.
"Before I say where the next letter is from does anyone know where Bronyville is?" Bridgette asked.
"It's a fan club for Bronies." Sierra said as everyone laughed.
"Oh…anyway the next letter is from London, England and it's for Heather." Bridgette said as she gave it to Heather.
"Okay, I wonder who this person is." Heather said as she started to read the letter.
"Dear Heather, You look very sexy! Where can we expect you in the next Playboy?
Sincerely, Phineas "Hardcourt" Jones from London, England." Heather read as she got some "OOH'S" from the crowd and the peanut gallery as Alejandro got jealous.
"Well Phineas…I have always wanted to be a playboy bunny...but it sounds so degrading maybe I can talk to Chris about getting me, and the rest of the girls together for a special Total Drama Playboy cover girl thing…just wait and see Phineas…just you wait." Heather said as the crowd cheered just mainly dudes.
"However the next letter is from Justin and it's from Bed-Stuy, New York." Bridgette said as he gave it to Justin.
"Hey…I hope I don't get a paper cut while I read this." Justin said as he opened the envelope.
"Dear Justin, Are you really jealous of Alejandro? Be honest?
Sincerely, Chris "Julius" Goldberg from Bed-Stuy, New York." Justin read as he was quite nervous for a minute and thought about it.
"Well Chris…I don't know I mean for a while I was jealous of Alejandro but then…I got so busy being a model that I just gave up on being jealous and focused on myself…until I nearly killed myself." Justin said as the crowd gasped.
"Wow Justin…I am so sorry what happened?" Bridgette asked him.
"I never had the chance to have a normal life I mean it was camera, runway, pose, every single day of my life…I just couldn't take it anymore…but look I can return to modeling but I am not mad at Alejandro for dating Heather…I am though asking Alejandro for a chance to be friends with Heather." Justin said to Bridgette and Geoff.
"Well I'm not Alejandro but if I were him dude…I would definitely give you a shot I mean you deserve it now…but not then…what made you consider it now?" Geoff asked Justin.
"I got right with god…I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior and I still model, and every time before I go on the runway I pray to god for now on." Justin said to Geoff.
"Next letter." Geoff said to Bridgette.
"This letter is from…Atlanta, Georgia…and it's for me and Geoff." Bridgette said as she gave it to Geoff.
"Thank you babe…" Geoff said as he grabbed his reading glasses.
"Dear Geoff and Bridgette, I was wondering how many heartbeats you two have during your make out session that leads to…hotel scenes you two so intimately screw each other in. Are we talking like, breaking the speed of light itself? Sincerely Jean Bynes." Geoff read as everyone stared at them.
"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The audience Wooed at them.
"Well…Jean that's private but at this case I'll make that an exception…Noah…what is the exact speed of heartbeats of hotel scenes me and Bridgette fuck each other in?" Geoff asked Noah.
"Here is the proof according to the Omni Hotel at the CNN Center in Downtown Atlanta." Noah said sarcastically as he played a video tape of Geoff and Bridgette in a classy hotel bed with a speed meter.
"OH YES! AHHHHHH! YOU'RE SO BIG! HARDER! HARDER!" Bridgette screamed under the bed sheets
"Oh Bridgette...! I'm good! I"M REAL GOOD! SCREAM MY NAME!" Geoff screamed as he was about to climax.
"AH...AH...AH GEOFF! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...!" Bridgette screamed as Geoff came as the speed meter started to measure.
(Speed meter passes 100,000,000, but breaks down as the camera went back to stage.)
"You know…you can count to 100 Million for that one Jean." Geoff said to the camera.
"Add 1 Geoffy." Bridgette said to him.
"Okay…100,000,001 heartbeats while we make out which leads to us having sex in bed at hotel…cool huh?" Geoff said to everyone as they cheered.
"Next letter." Geoff said as he went up and grabbed it.
"It's for…Amy." Geoff said as he grabbed his reading glasses again.
"Dear Amy,
Have you ever thought about dyeing Samey's hair? It'll make tell you and your sister apart. By the way, you're the hotter twin
Sincerely, Wicked Avatar." Geoff read as the crowd said "Aw…" and giggled a bit.
"Well…I have never really thought about dying Samey's hair…and thank you for the compliment Wicked Avatar." Amy said as she blew a kiss.
"Amy…if I can speak for a minute…I would like to say hello to everyone and…" Samey or Sammy said as she was cut off by her twin.
"Samey! Shut up! You are only here because of me! No one likes you! Mommy does not even like you!" Amy said as the crowd said "Ooh…"
"Mom…does love me...and I will not shut up…and there is one more fan letter." Samey said as she got up and grabbed it.
"Can I Geoff?" Samey asked Geoff.
"Sure Samey or is it Sammy?" Geoff asked her.
"UGH! IT'S Samey!" Amy complained.
"Its Sammy trust me." Sammy said as she read the envelope and opened the letter.
"It's for me and it's from Halifax, Nova Scotia." Sammy said as she began to read.
"Dear Sammy not Samey…this is your mom writing this saying…ask your sister to stop harassing you…I have tried and she doesn't listen she wants everything to be hers like credit, and more…I love you both very much…Sincerely, Your Mother, Amy Hill." Sammy read.
"Well Mom…I'll ask her to stop because she does ridicule me, and criticize me quite a bit and takes the credit for everything I do." Sammy said to the camera.
"Well that's because you don't deserve it." Amy said to her younger twin.
"Fuck you Amy I deserve some respect!" Sammy said as she grabbed a bucket of slime and poured it over her head.
"UGH! MY HAIR IT'S RUINED!" Amy said as she cried like a baby and ran away as the crowd cheered.
"We'll be back after this…" Geoff said as Fanmail Time ended.
"Cody here…saying that "The Geoff Show" will be back!" Cody yelled as the camera faded to black.
"Hey guys…Harold here as the first segment of "Make Blaineley and Alejandro Pay!" is about to happen!
Who you want Alejandro to fight?
Make him fight Courtney
Make him fight Geoff
Make him fight Duncan
Who you want Blaineley to fight?
Make her fight Eva
Make her fight Jo
Make her fight Gwen and Courtney
Send me your reviews and votes via PM like last time to see what happens in the next chapter. I'll be waiting...seriously send in your votes via Private Message to AlmightyGeorgiaCrusher.
Thanks to UltimateWarriorFan4Ever, TigerMasters, and myself for the Fanmail during the skit.
Read and review!