Hey everyone! So I finally managed to finish this chapter. I honestly didn't think it would be done so soon since I was sooooooooo busy this week, and I was sad thinking that I would have to update after the holidays. Apparently I pulled a miracle and here it is!
So as promised and announced this chapter is only in Killian's POV, covering parts 1 to 3. That means that this part is twice as long as the others, and from what I can gather in most fics out there, you probably won't mind.
Next part is officially the last. I have changed my mind a lot since I first posted this story but now I'm sticking to it.
Thanks to Nicki ( oncertwice )for her work as beta and helping me with it!
Anyways, I will now shut up and let you read. I really hope you liiiiike it!
It was early in the morning and, as usual, Killian couldn't manage to fall back asleep. He looked to his side where the girl he'd met at the bar the night before was laying. She was pretty with the small freckles she had on her cheeks and her long, wavy red hair, the color so vibrant that it caught his attention immediately as his eyes scanned the place.
He flirted shamelessly with her, like he usually did, and, like most of the time, they ended up in his bed. They spent most of the night enjoying each other, the way he always liked, no strings attached. He managed to sleep two hours tops, and then it was the neverending battle with his brain, trying to shut it down so he could have at least a couple hours more of sleep.
He let out a deep sigh and decided that there was no point in trying to sleep and sat at the edge of his bed. The sun was starting to rise and a soft light was seeping through his still-open curtains. Killian wondered if one day he'd be able to skip the sunrise and wake up well-rested when the sun will be shining brightly. He grabbed a pair of boxers and his Nirvana shirt that was lying on top of his dresser and got out of his room.
Killian went in the living room and slumped on the couch, exhaling as he made himself comfortable. He grabbed the remote that was on the coffee table and turned on the television, making sure that the volume was low enough, so he wouldn't wake his roommate. He flicked through the channels hoping to find something to distract him. When he stumbled on a kids channel where they were passing old episodes of Spider-Man, Killian dropped the remote on the table and let himself go back into his childhood memories.
Half an hour passed and he heard a door opened on the other side of the apartment, the noise indicating that Emma was now awake. He glanced at her as she entered the room her hair in a messy bun, wearing her big and fluffy robe with matching slippers, as a small smile appeared on his face when he noticed that she was wearing the latest Christmas present he had offered her.
Since they were little, she had always been very sensible to cold weather, always wearing big sweaters, and cowls, protecting her small delicate feet with big soft socks. He was the complete opposite and was rarely cold, except on winter where he would of course wear a coat, he was still human after all. Emma always chastised him when they would go out during the winter as he wore his coat open, with no scarf on. She would always lecture him that he would catch a cold, and when he did she would always rub it on his face that she had warned him, but was still at his side taking care of him, like he did with her when she did.
Emma nudged his leg with her knee so she could sit on the couch, his legs regaining it's initial position, on her stayed in a comfortable silence, both still a bit tired before she started teasing him because he was watching Spider-Man. They watched a couple of episodes together before the girl he had brought over woke up. He turned his head and saw her standing uncomfortably at the entrance of the living room.
As he got up, Killian tried to rememeber what was her name, he knew it was something with an 'S.' Stephanie, Sara, Sabrina, Sofia. Yes, Sofia. He walked over to her with a smile, and asked her if she slept well. The redhead answered him and he saw that she kept glancing at Emma and noticed she was uncomfortable with her presence, and he couldn't help himself but say to himself 'good'. He knew that it was maybe a bit selfish, but as much as he enjoyed the company of those ladies, when morning arrived the only thing he wanted is to them to leave so he could get on with his things and spend time with Emma. The fact that she was his roommate helped, a lot.
He walked the girl to the door, and told her the same speech he said to all of these girls and went back to Emma.
"So, want to go out and eat some breakfast?" He chirped.
-/-
Killian had arrived home not too long ago, and after he took a good shower he went into the kitchen. He looked through the pantry to see what he could make himself for supper since his stomach was growling. He looked at the small clock on the oven, and realized that Emma should be back soon, and decided that he will start making dinner for both of them.
Minutes later, the door opened followed by a loud curse and what seemed like someone tripping. Killian hurried his step towards the entrance and saw Emma with a murderous look, the one she had when she had a particularly horrible day or when she had her "lady problems."
"Emma? Are you okay?" He asked, quite worried that she might have hurt herself.
"Why on earth are your shoes doing in front of the door?" She blurted out, as she tried to take her coat off. He could see that she was fighting her way out of it, and stifled a laugh, knowing it was not time to anger her even more.
"Bad day?" He asked her as he closed the space between them in hopes of helping her. He helped with the sleeve of her coat as she told him how horrible her day was. She took her boots off and he noticed that she was on the verge of crying when she looked down at her feet. They were probably soaked.
Not wanting her to be in one of those moods, he proposed to her to get a bath while he made them supper. She acquiesced and walked towards the bathroom with an heavy sigh and slumped shoulders. Killian went to the kitchen and finished preparing their supper which he had already started. He chopped the bell pepper and onions and spread them all over the tomato sauce. He then grabbed the brick of cheese and grated it a big part of it, knowing that she liked having a lot of cheese on her pizza. When he finished putting the toppings on it, he opened the already preheating oven and slipped the uncooked pizza in it. He then went to take care of the dishes knowing that he wouldn't feel like doing them later.
Emma entered the room looking fresh and relaxed as she wore her usual black leggings, and her oversized red sweater, which he thought always made her look adorable.
"Mmm, it smells good. What are you making?" He saw her from the corner of his eye, bending as she peeked inside of the unlit oven, trying to figure out what was for dinner.
"Your favorite: pizza." Her face lit up with the news, a huge smile appearing on her face as she skipped towards him and wrapped her arms around him, pressing her cheeks on his back. He felt her tighten the hug and it made his heart swell. Making her happy with even with slightest attention, especially when she had a bad day, made him happy.
-/-
Killian was hanging at the bar as he waited for his friends to arrive. He had been chased out of his own apartment since the girls were having their monthly night, and it was Emma's turn to host. Like usual, the guy being chased invited the others for a drink, and have somewhat their guys night out.
He saw David and Robin from afar as they tried to make their way through to where he was standing. A minute later they managed to reach him, and greeted each other with a one arm hug. They ordered a round of drinks and started to catch up. Apparently Robin had finally had the guts to ask Regina out, and he was happy he did, since those two have been flirting with each other incessantly for the past year.
"I'm happy for you mate, you finally got the balls to ask her out." Killian chimed in as David laughed at his comment.
"And what about you then? When will you have the balls to finally ask Emma out?" Robin retorted, leaving Killian a bit speechless as he furrowed his brows in confusion.
"What are you getting at?" He finally managed to ask.
"Oh come on man. Don't tell us you don't have this huge thing for Emma." David added leaving him even more lost in this discussion.
"Well, Dave, I dunno how you know about my huge thing, but I generally keep it in my pants where she's concerned."
David feigned a laugh at his comment, while Killian took a sip of his beer with an eyebrow raised.
"Why would you guys think that? Emma is just a friend, a very good friend and that's all there is." He inquired a moment later, their assumption making him curious.
David inhaled deeply as he shrugged his shoulder. "Well let's just say that you two act as if you were a couple without actually having sex."
Robin laughed at his comment and the back of his hand tapped on Killian's shoulder. "And if only you could see how whipped you are by that woman."
He looked at his friends with an offended look as he tried to defend himself.
"I am certainly not whipped!" His answer made his friends laugh even more, and making him even more irritated.
"Oh please Killian. She only have to cast you that look and you obey her like a good little doggy." The guys continued laughing as they kept coming out with situations when it happened. Killian was biting his bottom lip as he listened to his friends and grabbed his pint and finished it in three big gulps. He slammed it on the coaster and with both eyebrows raised he looked at his friends.
"That's it. I'm tired of listening to you fools, I'm leaving."
"Oh come on, mate, don't act this way." Robin told him as he passes right them, and he ignored his comment and left the crowded bar.
As he walked towards his apartment, he couldn't help the words of his friends swirling around in his head. It wasn't the first time people thought that Emma was his girlfriend due to their closeness. Killian and her often took it to their advantage as they used each other as fake girlfriend and boyfriend when someone was flirting with one of them and they weren't interested. That was the extent of any romantic relationship between them. It wasn't that he didn't think she was attractive, because she was extremely gorgeous, but he always saw her as untainable, untouchable since she was considered has his family.
He arrived at his place and unlocked the door and entered the dark and silent apartment. He walked over to her bedroom wondering if she was still awake, wanting to ask her how her evening went, hopefully better than his. He knocked on her door softly and opened it, peeking his head inside. He saw her under the covers, the moonlight seeping in her room, lighting her room softly as he noticed that her eyes were open.
"Hey, are you sleeping?" Killian murmured as he let himself enter her room.
"Not yet." She replied softly, as he crossed the space between the door and her, and went to lay beside her on the covers. His arm went around her and he tucked her under his arm as he nuzzled her hair. He always loved the smell of her hair, he didn't know if it was her or her shampoo, probably the latter, but he found it comforting. He felt her relax in his arms, and he exhaled softly, closing his eyes and letting himself fall asleep next to her.
-/-
Emma had a cold, and she looked so weak as she sat indian style on the couch, under a pile of clothes and blankets with the tea he made her warming her hands. They settled on watching Gremlins, and it didn't take long for her to lay down on the couch, resting her head on his lap. He helped her settle the blanket around her, his hand almost instantly on her head, caressing her hair. After a while, he heard her snore softly, and he looked down at her. He couldn't help the smile on his face as he looked at her looking so peaceful, and noticed that even in her tired and sick state, she looked absolutely stunning. He inhaled deeply and let out a shaky sigh when he realized that his feelings might be a bit more complex than he thought.
-/-
As usual, Killian couldn't find sleep. He tossed and turn around on his bed until he laid on his back and let out an exasperated sigh. She was invading his thoughts. Ever since the guys had mentionned to him that he seemed to have this thing for her, he couldn't stop to think of started slowly, casually questionning himself about it, and pushing the absurd thought out of his mind. But after that night where she was sick, it had struck that the idea wasn't absurd, it was actually true. He had feelings for her, and he didn't want to.
He didn't want to because he was scared of all the possible outcomes. If they were to date and didn't work out, it would ruin their friendship and he couldn't let that happen, she was too important to him to ruin what they had with romance. And that was only if her feelings were mutual. If he told her he had feelings for her and shot him down, there would be this awkwardness between them and he couldn't bare to have their relationship tainted that way.
Wanting to forget about those recurrent thoughts, Killian decided to get out of the apartment and go drink and maybe find a girl to distract him of the blonde at home. And that is exactly what he did. He had spotted a beautiful brunette who kept glancing at him flirtatiously. It didn't take long to have her in his arms after a couple of pints and shots, and for her, Milah, to ask him if he wanted to go somewhere else. They entered his pitch black apartment, the scent of Emma's hair hanging in the air.
She must have taken a shower before going to bed.
Filled with images of Emma standing under the shower, washing her long blond tresses under the hot stream, her skin glistening after washing her body, was enough to make him aroused. They didn't even managed to make two steps inside that Killian grabbed the brunette, and bumping on the shoe rack as he pushed her on the wall, his lips demanding hers. Milah moaned as he thrust his hips forward, his lips trailing down her neck, nipping at the flesh under her jaw as his hands caressed her thighs. He managed to lead her towards his room after getting her off on the wall with his fingers only, and ended up spending the night in his room, exploring his bed.
Milah fell asleep after a couple of rounds and Killian stayed wide awake as usual. He really tried to forget her that night but he was half successful. If he wanted to forget what he felt towards he may need to invest himself with another woman the way he was with Emma. Maybe that could help.
And that's what he did the following morning when Milah woke up. Instead of having the girl leave the moment they woke up, he invited her to eat breakfast. When he arrived in the kitchen it was empty as well as the other common rooms of the apartment. He didn't know why but he had expected his roommate being in at least one of those rooms.
He made a pot of coffee and made them some eggs and bacon while he asked Milah about herself, which seemed to make her smile. They talked throughout their breakfast and he learned that she was actually a dog walker. Suddenly, he saw her eyes shift from him to behind him, and he turned around to find Emma standing at the entrance of the kitchen. His heart leaped when he saw her, beautiful as always even when she had just woken up.
"Hey, Emma. I didn't hear you come in." He told her as she avoided to look at him or her.
"Hey, yeah well I just got up." She went towards the pantry and took out her cocoa mix and make her famous hot chocolate. Milah tried to capt his attention by talking of some of the dogs she walked, while Emma clearly was trying to erase herself from the room as she avoided talking and looking at any of them.
He tried to seem interested on what the brunette was talking about, he was a dog lover and he loved hearing about them, but right now all the thoughts that invaded his mind were about Emma. He saw from the corner of his eyes that she trying to prepare her things quickly and before he had the time to turn around and finally invite her to sit, she was gone.
He felt his stomach twist at the situation. It was the first time he let another girl, a girl he picked up at the bar, have priority on her. And it pained him to do so, but then he reminded himself why he asked that girl to stay over. He needs to distance himself a bit from Emma if he doesn't want to ruin their friendship with his growing feelings.
-/-
A week passed by and he was still seeing Milah. She was sweet, nice and a very adventurous women in lots of aspect of her life. He always liked strong women, with fire in them, so he guessed that it was good that she possessed that fire that he found attractive, but he quick realize that she wasn't Emma.
He had finally convinced her to stay over his place for a quiet night in, and he took advantage of the fact that Emma was going over Tink's for her monthly girl's night, so he had the apartment all to himself. They were both sitting on the couch, and Killian had decided to call themselves a pizza. He was scrolling down the movie menu on the television, trying to find a movie to watch for them. Milah was sitting next to him with a bored expression, not at all motivated for the night he had set for them.
They finally settled on watching an action movie and soon after it started, there was a knock on their door signaling them that the deliver guy had their pizza. He quickly paid the man and gave him a good tip, and went back to sit on the couch as he dropped the box on the coffee table. He opened the box and took himself a slice and took a good bite out of it. His eyes were fixed on the TV as he devoured his food, and went in for a second slice when he noticed Milah who hadn't really moved, didn't even touched the food and had a look of disgust on her face. He looked at her questioningly as he deposited his slice back.
"Are you not hungry?"
"I am, but not for this junk. Do you really expect me to eat unhealthy food?" She asked him, the disgust still very visible on her face as she pointed at the food on the table.
"Well, from all the unhealthy food out there, pizza would be the most healthy. There are vegetables in it." He responded to her as he grabbed his slice and sunk his teeth in.
"Ugh, really? Look, Killian, this is boring. Let's do something else, let's go downtown and go to a restaurant and then go dancing. It'll be more fun than this." He finished chewing his food and sighed heavily as he put down his food again, and slumped back on the couch.
"Honestly, no. I just want a quiet night in." He looked at her and waited for her answer. She closed her eyes, and exhaled loudly before she got up.
"Well, I'm going out. See you tomorrow." She walked over the door, put on her shoes and left.
KIllian looked at the empty space beside him, and wished more than ever to have his best friend next to him.
-/-
He had realized quickly that forgetting his feelings for Emma was useless, not matter how hard he tried with Milah. He had taken the decision on ending things with her that night, when he was going to go over her place.
In the meantime, he was laying down on his couch, with the Playstation controller in his hands as he played God of War. Emma's bedroom door creaked and he heard the heel of her shoes hitting the hardwood floor. He turned around to look at her, and his mouth fell open as he took in what she was wearing.
A black fitted leather dress, the hem of it stopping almost at the top of her thighs, nude coloring pantyhose and a pair of very high black heels, defining the lines of her long legs. He noticed that she felt observed and saw her shift uncomfortably as a worried look came across her face.
"What?"
Her question bringing him back to reality, he closed his mouth and managed to reply to her somewhat clearly.
"I...uh...you look amazing." He stammered as he inwardly facepalm himself. Smooth Jones, real smooth.
She smiled at him, quite relieved and waltzed by him in direction of the kitchen. He watched her go, and shook his head to bring himself back to reality, and felt himself following her, wondering why she was dress that way.
"Do you mind telling me what's the occasion?" He asked as he went to stand next to her, and leaned his back on the counter, his eyes fixed on her.
"I have a date." She replied as if it was the most normal thing. Which it was, but it wasn't what he was expecting. Those words felt like a punch in the gut, and he clenched his jaw as he digested the news. He looked up and fixed his eyes on hers.
"I didn't know you were seeing someone." She held his gaze for a moment before she turned her head around and focused on grabbing a glass and filling it with water.
"I'm not. It's just a date. Regina set me up with a friend of her sister's." Killian felt his body relax at the news. It wasn't serious, she was just being set up in a blind date. He had dealt with a a couple of guys she had dated, but none of them worthy of her. He wasn't thinking that because he had realized the feelings he had for her, but because they actually weren't worthy.
"You seem… relieved?" She looked at him intrigued, as she was trying to figure him out.
"I, uh, no. I mean, I found it a bit odd that if you were seeing someone, I should know." He replied a bit panicked, as he tried to look calm.
"Should?"
"Well, yes. I am your confidant, your best friend. You always tell me about these things."
"That doesn't mean I have to. It's my life and I reserve the right to keep things from you." She answered him as she raised her voice, clearly mad with his comment. She was right, but he couldn't help himself.
He was about to apologize when the door knocked. Emma cast him a stern look before heading towards the door. She opened and greeted her date with a big smile. He leaned himself on the doorframe, and crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking at them intently, not able to tear his eyes off the scene. She glanced a quick look at him before heading out with the tall brunet.
Killian stayed in place for a couple of minutes after Emma left to her date, fixating the spot where she stood last. He clenched his jaw as he let the latest event seep into his mind, and decided to do something to forget about it. Emma was not interested in him, and won't ever be. It was time to let go. He walked over to his room, got changed and went over at Milah' to do what he did best concerning his love life. No strings attached.
-/-
Killian cursed to himself when Emma had told him that she was bringing Walsh to the engagement party. He knows he shouldn't be annoyed by that since he was also bringing Milah, but he couldn't help himself. Since her date with him, she had been seeing him every once and awhile and despite all his efforts to try and forget about his feelings for her he couldn't. And it confused him to no end, making him angrier towards himself.
The car ride was a bit tense and awkward, as the four of them headed towards Regina's and Robin's. He was in no mood to go over there, and frankly was in a sour mood for the past couple of days. When Milah starting talking to Walsh, he rolled his eyes seeing that he was getting attention.
Of course he had to make a comment when he mentioned that he worked with monkeys at the zoo, it was way too easy. Emma cast him a look that if it could kill, it would. He knew she hated when he teased the guys she was seeing, even if she never actually said it, her looks were enough to express that feeling.
Emma made him know that she was pissed for the rest of the cab ride as she ignored him, and continued as they got out of the car and walked over the house. Milah didn't leave his side and followed him as he went to congratulate his recently engaged friend. The moment she left his side to visit the restroom, Robin leaned over and spoke loud enough so he only could hear.
"So how are things with Emma?" Killian let out an annoyed sigh as he took a sip of his beer.
"Uncomfortable. I...I can't seem to get her out of my mind, and these feelings are bloody confusing." Robin let out a small laugh at his comment, his hand going to squeeze his shoulder.
"It might not have this lifetime friendship with Regina, but I know that feeling. Realizing that you have feelings for someone that you always saw platonically is quite unsettling. Stop fighting it, and despite that your girlfriend may be nice, get rid of her and embrace those feelings for Emma."
"Even if I do, she may not feel the same for me." Killian justified.
"What did you do with the Killian I know? Where is that confidence that you exude when you go out and flirt with a girl? Lay those charms on Emma, you may be surprise." Robin tapped him on his back, and told him to think about it before leaving his side, Milah taking his place.
Killian went a grabbed himself another beer, and another after that. He kept thinking about what Robin had told him but at the same time couldn't bring himself to follow his advice, the alcohol in his system exacerbating his jealousy. He saw Emma and Walsh at the other side of the room, and decided to go over there. Walsh was talking about one of his monkeys, and he couldn't pass on the occasion on making a comment. Just as he was about to, Emma grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him into the guest room, where all the coats were.
She closed the door firmly and turned around in one swift movement, making her hair whirl around her, the scent of it reaching him. She had that mad look on her face, her hand on her hips making her a bit intimidating.
"What the hell is your problem?" She blurted out, clearly mad.
"I don't have a problem. Do you?" He couldn't help himself to reply to her in a smugly manner
"Yes! You, assface! You're acting like a jerk!" She exclaimed.
"Me? On the contrary, I'm being very pleasant." He added completely unphased. He knew he was getting on her nerves but didn't care. He lifted his beer to his lips and was about to take a sip when suddenly a hand grabbed it off his hands.
"Hey!" He blurted out this time.
"You are a being an asshole. Seriously, 'monkey boy?'"
"Oh come on, Emma, you have to admit that it's funny. Where is your sense of humor?" Killian said as he laughed.
"It's not funny. You always do this."
"Do what?"
"Make teasing comments on the guys I'm seeing. It's not funny, and frankly, it's condescending. Don't you want me to be happy?" His face dropped when he realised that he had hurt her. He thought that he was just pushing her buttons a bit but his intention was never to hurt her. Guilt took over him as he looked down before gathering the courage to look at her.
"Of course I do. You're happiness is one of the most important things to me." Her eyes were fixed on his, and saw the vulnerability that was written behind them.
"Then why do you act that way?" She asked him softly. He swallowed hard as he decided to tell her a part of the truth.
"Because, those guys don't deserve you. They can't make you happy the way you should be."
"What do you know about what I need?" He felt the need to be near her, and closed the space between them, his hand instantly resting on her shoulders.
"Emma, I know you better than you know yourself. You need a man that can cherish you as if you were the most precious thing that exists, as if your the light and air that they need to live. Someone who can challenge you to be the best version of yourself. And those men can't handle you."
He saw her trying to intake what he had finally wanted to tell her all this time. He felt his heart increase it's pace, and felt as if it was going to burst. He looked down at her lips, and he wanted to kiss her so badly, to tell her how much he loved, that he could make her happy, that he would do anything for her.
Killian was about to do at least one of those things, when Ruby stumbled in and ruined the moment. Emma used the occasion to flee the room. His shoulders slumped as he realized that he had just missed his chance. For now at least.
-/-
Emma have been avoiding him ever since the party. He hated it but couldn't blame her. He had been acting like jerk and moron from the moment he had realized he loved her. After she had left with Walsh, he had decided to end things with Milah. It was no use to keep fooling himself, and he couldn't shake this feeling that if Ruby hadn't interrupted them, they might've kissed, that is feelings may not be one-sided.
He was hanging out in the apartment in his sweats, and was asking himself what he was going to do that evening. He heard a loud crash outside the door, followed by a very colorful curse coming out from his roommate mouth. Worried that she might have hurt herself he went to open the door and saw the entire content of her grocery bag laying on the floor, the brown bag completely teared up in her hands.
After he made sure she was okay, he insisted on helping gather the food. She was hanging behind him as they went to put the food in the kitchen, and went back to take the rest off her hands, their skin brushing as he relieved her from her load. His body went still as he felt the jolt pass through him. He regained quickly his senses and told her to go change as he took care of her things. He saw the frozen pizza amongst her groceries and decided to preheat the oven knowing that she had bought that for her supper.
She entered the kitchen after he had put the food in the oven. She seemed to have had a rough day, and he went to grab her beer. They sipped in silence before Killian decided to break the awkwardness between them, and told her that she was avoiding him. He apologized for his behaviour and both managed to fix things between them. He actually felt bad when Emma told him that she had always kept her mouth shut over the girls he brought and stayed over. He always thought that it didn't bothered her, but apparently it did and he was too involved in his things to notice.
They managed to get passed that and actually went back into their usual routine, which made him happy. He had missed those moments with her, and more than ever knew that he had to cherish any moments spent with her.
Halfway throughout the movie, he felt Emma beside him shiver, and instinctively wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer to him. He inhaled that soothing scent that emanated from her, the one he liked so much. He felt her relax in his arms, as she let herself be warmed by him. He turned his head and looked down at her, entranced by her. She must have felt his eyes on her, and turned her head around to ask him if he was okay. His eyes roamed her face taking in every little detail about her, awed by her beauty, and noticed her skin going red as she blushed under his gaze. His eyes settled on her lips, and he wanted to kiss her so badly. He had wanted for so long now, and when her eyes settled on his, he leaned in and kissed her.
Finally.
It was the first and last word that entered his mind, as he then let himself guide by his emotions. The kiss grew more and more passionate and he pushed her on her back softly until she was laying beneath him, as he settled himself between her legs. It was better that he had ever imagined, and better than any kiss or passionate night spent with any random girl. This was Emma, the most amazing woman he knew, and he finally got to taste her touch. He felt himself grow hard as he heard the mewling sounds coming out of her mouth. He rolled his hips on her center wanting a bit more, and she moaned loudly, the sound almost making him lose control. His hand trailed down her stomach, and under her sweatpants, his fingers tracing the lenght of her folds, feeling her arousal at the tip of his fingers.
Emma pushed him back suddenly, and quickly got up from the couch and walked as fast as she could over to her room.
"Emma! Wait!" He got up and followed her, wanting to know why she was running away from this.
"Wait!" He grabbed her wrist and spun her around.
"I'm sorry Killian. That was a mistake." He saw tears prickling at the corner of her eyes, seeing her pained hurt him more that he could possibly bare.
"Are you sure? It doesn't feel like it to me." He told her out of breath, trying to make her see what they could be.
"It is. You're dating Milah, and I'm dating Walsh. If we do this I would only be an addition to the endless list of girls you've slept with. I just can't." At that comment he felt this twinge of pain on his heart, sad that she saw him that way. Didn't she see that she could never be that to him? Before he could tell her anything she locked herself up in her room. Knowing that there was no use on pushing her in that state and let her be.
He sat in front of her room, his head leaning back until it hit softly the door. He fixed an empty space in front of him, as he listened to her cry until she eventually fell asleep.